Just for a Laugh

  1. Looks like turnips are a bit fattening though

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10. If we could just go back in time.

11. Probably more than Sunak is.

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19. Only one turnip a week now?

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Thanks to TM, Brenda and BLP.

78 thoughts on “Just for a Laugh”

    1. Trust Coffey to encourage a run on something we barely produce anymore and have now run out of.

      I looked in the shops yesterday. No turnips. Just a few beetroots.

      I don’t know how they thought they could get away with blaming it on bad weather in Spain. Do they think that people don’t have friends in the rest of Europe?

      Do they think we all rely on state controlled loan facilitating media for our news?

      Bugger le Panda sent me photographs of full supermarket shelves in the South of France.

      Liked by 2 people

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  2. Apparently ketchup can be made from all sorts of things, but I don’t see turnip ketchup listed here 🙂 :

    “While it may be a surprise to some, tomatoes do not classify as a vegetable but a fruit, so some manufacturers have developed veggie ketchup that incorporates vegetables into ketchup.
    Veggie ketchup usually still contains tomatoes, but veggie ketchup also includes vegetable purees made from spinach, butternut squash, and carrots.”

    https://clockworklemon.com/types-of-ketchup/

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        1. See… Banana ketchup was invented due to the shortages of tomatoes (because of bad weather in Spain?). So it’s up to us British people to invent a new one due to THIS shortage.

          Um, what does Brexit Britain have plenty of?

          Ummmm…. nothing.

          Oh I know, Bullsh*t.

          Would that make good ketchup?

          That mushroom ketchup looks particularly unappetising!!!

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      1. Yes Tris, mushroom ketchup looks awful. 🙂

        I’d never thought of tomatoes as a seasonal item. But the trick is to have states like California and Florida grow them year round (and send them to grocery stores in the cold north of course.)

        The politics of tomatoes is a minefield. Back during the Reagan administration, in order to cut funding to the federal school lunch program, American school lunch guidelines suggested that condiments such as pickle relish……and by extension, ketchup……could be counted as vegetables. Wiki:

        “[School lunch administrators] could credit a condiment such as pickle relish as a vegetable.
        While ketchup was not specifically mentioned as a potential substitute, critics demonstrated outrage in Congress and in the media against the Ronald Reagan administration for cutting school lunch budgets and allowing ketchup and other condiments to count as vegetables.”

        And apparently, if you add enough tomato paste, pizza can become a vegetable under US federal school lunch guidelines. (Pizza is definitely MY kind of vegetable BTW!)

        (The fact that tomatoes are technically fruits and not vegetables is an intellectual quibble that need not be considered for purposes of this discussion.)

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ketchup_as_a_vegetable

        I was able to find an article about Heinz’s vegetable ketchup.

        https://www.todaysparent.com/kids/kids-health/sorry-heinz-your-new-veggie-ketchup-is-just-slick-marketing/

        Liked by 1 person

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        1. PS: Trumpy is frightened of tomatoes, and other produce which can be used as projectiles:

          https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10760409/Trump-scared-protesters-throw-dangerous-fruit-like-pineapples-tomatoes-bananas-him.html

          From the Washington Post: (Note the use for turnips in ancient times)

          Trump’s killer tomatoes and the history of food as protest projectile:

          “During a visit to Africa, Vespasian was hit by rioters with turnips, according to the Roman historian Suetonius. Suetonius didn’t note precisely what had angered the people or how the emperor reacted, but one thing is clear: They were onto something, and some 2,000 years later, the tradition of hurling food in political protest endures.”

          https://www.washingtonpost.com/food/2022/04/29/trump-tomatoes-political-protest-foods/

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          1. Awwww… poor old soul.

            I’m thinking a tomato in the face wouldn’t do him any hard, although it might make his makeup run…

            Bananas are relatively soft, but I grant you that a rap in the jaw with a pineapple might cause a little pain.

            The Washington Post won’t open for me, even though, at enormous expense, I moved, in a certain animal’s private jet liner, to Atlanta Georgia.

            Ho hum.

            🙂

            Liked by 1 person

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            1. Tris…..Yes, a pineapple projectile might hurt some. 🙂

              I think that the Post is not as generous with free articles as they once were. I doubt that the Post article link in this Twitter post will work either. No great loss!

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                1. Hahaha…..my kind of movie! I like the idea of a special agent named Mason Dixon. 🙂

                  I grew up where grandparents had a garden which grew tomatoes that actually tasted like tomatoes…….unlike grocery store tomatoes which are more or less flavorless, and do little more than contribute moisture to a sandwich…..IMHO!

                  About the search to reestablish flavor in a commercial tomato, which would be a return to the tomato’s flavorful beginnings in South America and Mexico:

                  https://www.marketplace.org/2019/11/22/the-search-for-tastier-grocery-store-tomatoes-is-closing-in/

                  Liked by 1 person

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                  1. Interesting article.

                    In an attempt, or rather multiple attempts, to make then m more commercially viable they lost the one thing that made people want them… the taste.

                    Because a real tomato tastes magical.

                    Supermarket ones, not so much.

                    Liked by 1 person

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                    1. ” Magical” is indeed the word for the taste of a home grown, vine ripened tomato!

                      And right beside it on the plate, I would add sweet corn (maize) on the cob, slathered with butter and salt. Unlike field corn……which is mostly grown for cattle feed……sweet corn is magically sweet and delicious. It too must have ripened on the stalk, and been gathered from the garden just hours before serving on the dinner table. In my grandparents’ garden, the sweet corn was gathered in the morning……shucked and silked by noon…….and served with dinner about six. Timing is crucial, since the moment the ears of corn are pulled from the stalk, the sugar in the kernels begins converting to starch. AND…..just a day or two earlier, the kernels are small and watery, and a day or two later, they’ve started to toughen and harden.

                      With vine ripened tomatoes, and sweet corn on the cob, picked from the garden just a few hours earlier, I never needed anything else on my dinner plate. 🙂

                      Alistair Cooke said that he had to explain to some traditional Englishmen of his acquaintance how to eat corn on the cob. It’s a messy awkward business, but I love it. Just move the ear back and forth while you rotate and nibble. 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. LOL……I’m more a home grown tomato and sweet corn on the cob man.
                      In fact, I’ve never tasted a turnip, in whatever form it might be cooked. 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

        2. Struth, what else could you count as a vegetable in the USA schools? A glass of Orangeade? Because it had “orange” in the name? LOL.

          Reagan was awfully keen on cutting what other people could have. I don’t remember him being so keen on cutting what he could have, but, in fairness, I wasn’t that interested back then, so I might have that wrong. Maybe he pared back all the presidential stuff and had only one domestic servant… 🙂

          So Tomato Ketchup is a mix of vegetables? (And as you say, tomatoes are fruits).

          I know some kids like to put a lot of ketchup on their food, but, I’m guessing that, as the article points out, it’s not gonna make your five a day!!!

          Much better to get stuck into some good old turnips, as Thérèse demands.

          Get five of them down your neck and you’ll be….umm just… fine!!!!

          Liked by 1 person

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          1. Tris…..Unlikely that the Reagans ever cut back on their own personal allotments.
            Maybe if you toss a green salad with ketchup, that would make up for the missing tomatoes. 🙂

            I don’t think I’ve seen the Heinz veggie ketchup in our stores. Mostly tomato ketchup with a minimal vegetable component anyway it seems.

            Liked by 1 person

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  3. You gotta laugh or you’d cry, as the old saying goes. Fab pics thanks Tris.
    That shoes one, is there an equivalent for guys? Lol. High heels are just daft.
    I asked if they had any turnips in my local big name mini supermarket yesterday, the guy said no not since Christmas when they usually have them in. I winked while asking, I hope he got my drift and didn’t think this ancient woman was coming onto him lol!
    Can’t find turnips for love nor money right now, BREXIT is such a disappointment, who’d of thought.
    That carnival miss BREXIT, terrifying but so apt. Laughing stock UKnotOK. I hope Scotland can escape pronto. Nicola, come back!

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      2. I wasn’t convinced before but, now that I’ve opened this link, my mind is reeling.

        This must be countrary to the common law of the universe that governs international shipping lanes.

        I’m never wearing a mask again. I’d rather we all die a horrible and pointless death than risk my freedom.

        Liked by 1 person

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    2. LOL Blokes just wear the same shoes for life… and have to be persuaded to through out an old pair that are comfortable even when they have holes in them.

      You’ll know if flowers start arriving at your door that the bloke in the store knows that Turnips is code for meet me tonight at 8.30!!!!

      Mind and wear your high heels!

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. 😀 I hear high heels are good weapons against all sorts of undesirables so maybe worth investing in lol! High heels and vertigo is asking for trouble though lol! It’s amazing shops ever make any money from men, though since Covid I could probably beat them in the wear the same clothes and shoes for years competition. If you don’t need to see people in person, it matters not if your cardigan’s all holey lol. 😁

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        1. Well, if you were to be p-resented to Munguin, it would matter.

          As for making money, I’m lazy at doing the ironing, so there have been times when I’ve bought shirts because I couldn’t be bothered ironing the ones I already have.

          My very bad.

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  5. See Michael Spicer has a video up on the turnip talking about the gold at the end of a rainbow.

    Just another brexit lie to add to the others.

    Mr Small has a great article up on local sourcing of food. We had a chat about the seasonality of food in our youth, reminded of the first Ayrshire totties, cooked in their skins,as a treat.
    Tomatoes turned up from the Clyde Valley in early May.
    The lambs appeared in the fields in late March.

    Great selection of laughs today.

    Liked by 3 people

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      1. Just watched this, I think Michael’s a bit depressed at the state of things. Who could blame him. Hard to believe that horrible trougher stood there spouting such verbal doo doo, taking the absolute rip out if the people she hates so much. May karma be real.

        Liked by 3 people

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        1. First rate from Tarzan.

          In parts it was amusing, as his colleagues showed.

          Pretty much agree with what he said.

          I think though that some of them DID know what they were doing… and mainly it had to dfo with ensuring that they conti9nued to be able to dodge tax.

          And what if the plebs can’t get tomatoes?

          I suspect their subsidised restaurants can!

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  6. Just for a Laugh you say….

    1. The other night I walked into the bedroom and my wife asked me, “What would you most like to do with my body?”

    Apparently, “Identify it,” wasn’t the right answer!

    2. For the past 20 years, I’ve had a Valentines card from a secret admirer…

    I was sad I didn’t get one this year!

    First my gran dies, now this!

    3. Sylvester Stallone said he wants to make a movie about classical music. He says, “I will be Beethoven.”

    Jean Claude Van Damme says, “Okay, I’ll be Mozart.”

    Arnold Schwarzenegger says, “I’ll be Bach.”

    4. I took my 8-year-old daughter to the office on ‘Take Your Kid To Work Day’ But when we walked in the office she started to cry.

    As concerned staff gathered round I asked her what was wrong and she said: “Daddy where are all the clowns you said you work with.”

    5. It’s Valentine’s day tomorrow. Hope I get a card from ‘MoonPig’.

    My wife hates it when I call her that!

    6. My wife told me to stop singing “I’m A Believer” or she’d kill me. I thought she was kidding.

    But then I saw her face…

    7. The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”

    I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”

    8. The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage.

    She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns.

    I look at the therapist and said, “Divorce is strong with this one!”

    That all folks…..thankfully I am NOT here ALL week…here today but gone TOMATO…..but I might TURNUP again at some point this week….to KETCHUP with you all…the thing I hate about Thérèse Coffey (COFFEE) is that she makes everyone so DESPRESSO I just cannot EXPRESSO how much I dislike her…..we all know Tories like her are the ROOT of all of our problems and everything for them is RIPE for the taking….you say ToMAtoe I say ToMAYtoe….Thérèse Coffey says TURNIP !…..

    Have a nice day everyone

    🙂

    Liked by 4 people

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    1. HaHa Panda Paws…..they are sure to BEET us…..resistance is FRUITILE….I knew we could never SQUEEZE the day….we don’t GUAVA clue…..the Brexiteers had GRAPE expectations…..but we all knew it would never end APPLEY ever after……Apparently King Charles is meeting Ursula Von Der Leyen…I anticipate him saying… a Tomato, a Tomato my Kingdom for a Tomato…….because Yes, we have no Tomatoes we have-a no Tomatoes today……..that would certainly be a TURNIP for the books…..

      King Charles now to be known as King Charles Potato…..as in the KING of the Vegetables….

      When the CHIPS are down…..Rishi looks to the CROWN……hoping certain Tories will calm DOWN , pipe DOWN, sit DOWN and ultimately settle DOWN …when the KING helps to tie DOWN …..a DEAL. (on NI border)…………as to the DUP…well they will be shut DOWN and voted DOWN….and one hopes in any future subsequent NI elections will also be brought DOWN….Amen to that …

      I’ve still the William McGonagall factor……

      Liked by 3 people

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      1. “I’ve still * the William McGonagall factor”

        * GOT

        Missing words anaw……och Aye the Noo….

        I get awfy frantic that I feel I must resort to being pedantic….UND…mark me own (home)work !!!

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      2. You’re inordinately poetic today, NMRN.

        What is Ursula doing wasting her time on Snarls.

        It’s nothing to do with him. His only powers are throwing Airmiles off our land and giving his “wife” (as long as you are not a C of E believer) a title the Queen denied her. You remember, that queen that we were told had done everything for us.

        Soon forgotten when Parker Bowles wants something!

        Liked by 1 person

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        1. “What is Ursula doing wasting her time on Snarls.”

          What indeed Tris….to show perhaps to the Bwitish public that he, Charles, endorses the deal that has been DONE or rather the DONE deal ……..or so RISHI hopes (what say the ERG)…….reality being we in Scotland are the ones that have been DONE over…. with their Brexit…..

          That’s three DONES used in ONE comment….thankfully I am now DONE in ……that’s now 4 DONES in me comment…..time I was DONE…that’s now etc etc….

          Have a lovely evening Tris

          🙂

          Liked by 2 people

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          1. i suppose the old fellow needs to feel useful.

            Still, it’s been a busy day for him countermanding his mother’s dictate on Mrs Parker Bowles and meeting a foreigner.

            Don’t overdone it, NMRN.

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      1. No Danny the EMPIRE should strike back……the Force is strong with me…so it is ….so it is….. ….after all the UK has slashed aid to Commonwealth countries (slashed by almost HALF)…so fair’s fair….so it is…so it is…to be sure ….to be sure…. ♫ “YES you have no Tomatoes…you have no Tomatoes Today” ♫…….♫ And we ain’t giving you NONE of ours ♫…….

        How do you like THEM Apples UK…..Here have one of our STORMS UK……the one we will call Storm Cherry Tomato or as you Brits will likely call it …..Storm Turnip…..

        Have a nice evening Danny

        🙂

        Liked by 2 people

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      2. I’m not sure that any of them like the Brits enough to do that.

        They got trade deals of a sort from New Zealand and Australia,… but their negotiators saw the inexperienced and somewhat dim Brit negotiators coming and slapped them around the head with a dead fish or two.

        It seems that we can “have our cake and eat it”, according to Mr Johnson, but “having a tomato and eating it” involves taking a trip abroad… not easy in these Brexit days with our “passeports bleus”.

        Bugger the Panda sent me photographs of tomato filled shelves in France, and another friend showed pictures of abundant tomatoes in Sweden.

        The return flight makes it expensive though…

        🙂 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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        1. LOL……”passeports bleus.”

          I guess shipment by air from the states is impractical too. 🙂
          It’s convenient of course to have year round warm states like California and Florida. With Mexico too,……and South America if it’s a winter/summer thing. Europe depends on Spain for winter produce apparently.

          Liked by 1 person

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          1. I suspect, Danny, that stuff shipped from America would probably be too expensive for the strained pockets of the Brits.

            There are other places which stay warmish in winter. Portugal, Greece, the south of France, and Italy, Cyprus, Malta… I’m not sure what they export.

            We could always buy our tomatoes from Iceland where they grown them in massive greenhouses heated by geothermal energy.

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  8. Not so much a laugh.

    The energy cap is reduced BUTT your energy bill will go up when the price of gas is lower than before the War.

    Does anyone else get the feeling that the £400 ‘HELP’ is just about to be recovered from us with an additional £100 in interest.

    The old pea under the cup trick, you lose.

    The windsor agreement to be declared later today, seems it includes mrs parker booles getting to be queen instead of consort.

    All that blue blood.

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Yep and the £400 ‘help’ is coming out of the public purse anyway, win-win for the energy companies making £billions in profit. Really sickening, why are people just accepting it though, really millions should be out on the streets in protest. Or is that illegal now as planned by the English government.

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Surely these super profits should be taxes hard to rep[ay the £400 they grudgingly gave each household.

        Remember Sunak only wanted to “lend” us the moneyt originally.

        He’s a nasty piece of work.

        Liked by 1 person

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      1. Maybe Gretna Green blacksmith shares will be a good buy.
        Seems the englanders have decided to raise the age of marriage to 18,reminds me of the runaways of the last century.

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    3. Oh, and what a relief to not have to call her Queen Concert Mrs Parker Bowles. Much simpler this way… and less music.

      It was, after all, the proper Queen’s wish that she be called that, but what the heck; she dead now so Snarly Bas*ard can do things his way. And we all know that’s what he was always going to do.

      PS: If you never see me again after that criticism of the pope of the English church, , please send fruit… well, OK, turnips… to Tris, c/0 the Tower of Londres.

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  9. Okay I think I’ve got it, the windsor agreement.

    So the Northern Ireland Assembly can refer a trading problem to the english courts if they don’t like it.

    In Scotland we just have the governor general and a section order to do as we’re told.

    Now that’s levelling up.

    Ursula can’t negotiate anything today, the agreement has already been agreed behind the scenes.

    The rich cynic took over from the lettuce on the nod from the 22 committee and the tory party were elected on a lie about an oven ready deal.
    No VAR for elections but we can’t have areferendum without the sayso of the rich cynic.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. I’m laughing at the Windsor Agreement.

      Should we we not call it Saxe Coburg Gotha agreement?

      Or in the spirit of European togetherness… the Sonderburg Glücksburg Agreement?

      Does this mean that we can all live happily ever after.

      Some sapid Tory once admitted that the North of Ireland can get away with lots of things that Scots can’t because, when they don’t get their way, they have a tendency to kick off.

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