AS PROMISED, EXTRA LAUGHS

Mum,


Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.
 Oh yes, please call Adam’s mother and tell her he is okay. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn’t burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.  Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn’t his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that’s probably why he can’t get insurance.

We think it’s a super bus. He doesn’t care if we get it dirty, and if it’s hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don’t worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren’t any cops. All we ever see up there are huge logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn’t let me because I can’t swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast (it’s concrete because we didn’t have any plaster), so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Ted isn’t crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn’t even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works.

Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I’m so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and  buy some more beer and ammo. Don’t worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it’s my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster’s tent.

Love Johnny

**********

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6. I’m not saying you’ve had too much to drink, I’m only saying that that’s not your dog you’re walking.

7. Why, for the last 5 minutes, have you not pedalled? I’m going down hill.

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Thanks to BLP.

51 thoughts on “AS PROMISED, EXTRA LAUGHS”

  1. Very funny! Laughed out loud at Scoutmaster Ted.

    Loved the cancellation of the balloon rides. American and Canadian fighter jets are shooting balloons out of the sky at the slightest provocation. 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

    1. You’d need a medal for looking after that prissy, tantrum prone idiot.

      Mind she’s pretty revolting by all accounts so maybe he should get a medal too.

      Fortunately that’s his job handing out medals to rich people so I suppose he’ll manage that nicely, or as nicely as the snarling old git can be.

      Like

  2. When I read through letter to mum I could hear Bob Newhart.

    Mrs parker bools down with covid, doesn’t that mean she’s just an ordinary human?

    Liked by 1 person

          1. Who amongst other gems, gave us;

            “I know a man whoes name is Lang
            and he has a neon sign
            and Mister Lang is very old:
            so we call it ‘Old Lang’s Sign”

            Liked by 1 person

  3. In a similar vein, there’s this story from the late, great Derek ‘Blaster’ Bates, the explosives expert and after-dinner speaker from Cheshire, whose LPs were much listened to and enjoyed in the late 60s and the 70s:

    (Warning! Slightly coarse language)

    Like

  4. Maybe she will get on with her own life.

    A real Scot with a personality that most Scots can associate with and a committment to improving the lot of our future population.

    A real winner but wait to we hear all the bile they will continue to push until her replacement is in place.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wonder what she will do… you know, what is her own life treally like. She’s been in politics since she was a lass watching the Tories (Thatcher) devastate her area as she closed everything in the name of trying to make Britain (for which read London) the biggest financial centre in the world (and failing).

      According to a mate of mine who has worked as a CA in Luxembourg, London , New York and Glasgow, they managed to make it the most corrupt (of the ones he’s worked in).

      I’m sure there will be lots of bile still to pour at her from the usual suspects.

      Like

    2. Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson
      @ORGrimsson

      When ⁦@NicolaSturgeon ⁩ leaves the office of #FirstMinister of #Scotland we fondly remember her formidable speeches at ⁦
      @_Arctic_Circle
      ⁩ Assemblies. The only major #UK leader to this demonstrate commitment to #ClimateAction.

      (Ex president of Iceland and chairman of the Arctic Circle.)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Love the budgie reference.

    My big brother in Melbourne, Australia, breeds budgies, must telll him about the new opposition.

    Breeding budgies in Australia is much like breeding spugs jn Scotland, a strange hobby.

    She’s likely to be good at it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Here’s a laugh,
    Just did a poll on Indy.
    Questions on who should be FM/leader.
    The laugh was should sarwar or dross be FM?
    No mention of auld joe soul or wee willie winkie as FM candidates but we know they don’t count.

    As last week, should the SNP ask truss to cross the border?, just a laugh people.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Willie did a nice tribute to the FM… as did the Green leadership.

      Ross, showing his statesmanship again, did not.

      Not heard if Sarwar said anything.

      The Greens joint leadership wrote a good one too

      Like

  7. Another Extra Laugh – apparently the new 50p piece will feature a picture of Albus Dumbledore from the Harry Potter books. With a portrait of another fantasy character, King Charlie 3, 0n the other side, how will we tell heads from tails? 🧙🏻‍♀️👑

    Liked by 1 person

  8. https://news.sky.com/story/donald-trump-bids-good-riddance-to-failed-woke-extremist-nicola-sturgeon-after-resignation-12811972

    Apparently the orange balloon that used to be the president of the USA said good riddance to a failed woke extremist.

    He is, as a private citizen of another country, completely entitled to his opinion, as are my blackbirds.
    But I’d point out to him that Nicola is leaving the job at a time of her own choosing and not, as he was, ejected from Bute House, by the population who voted for someone else. She also been either FM or DFM since 2007…15 years+ which is a bit longer than he managed.

    Like

  9. Thanks Tris and BLP for that collection of crackers. Any laughs just now are very welcome.

    Trying to steer clear of social media and news, I’m finding the bile hard to thole. I did notice that the bile flowed from the unimportant, those striving for relevance. The individuals with less need to gain relevance have been overwhelmingly complimentary.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I ditched Twitter for the moment.

      And the only paper I look at is the FT.

      They seem to think that with NS gone, independence is gone.

      Nah. It maybe even needed this wee dunt on the heid to push it along.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m sure you’re right Tris.
        I was dwelling on the gravity of the situation, when it was announced, I now see the opportunities that it offers.
        A cheesy thought went along the lines of, gravity can make bodies change their orbit, their trajectory can be altered, but not changed. No movement without gravity.

        Should maybe have kept that thought pattern between my ears.

        Listened to Gordon Ross this morning, he expressed some good ideas.

        Not the Ides of March yet, but this could be our spring. In both senses of the word.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. That was a pretty good analogy, actually, Alan.

          Leaders can change parties depending on their position on a lot of different subjects.

          And after a period as long as Nicola has been in power, I imagine that unless the SNP elects a numpty, there will be some new energy.

          It’s an opportunity to change things a bit… fine tune maybe.

          Ahhhh spring! 🙂

          Like

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