“I bought my mother-in-law a jaguar.
“I thought you didn’t like her.”
“I know what I’m doing. It’s bitten her twice already.”
5.
THEY’RE driving down a country road. There’s been an argument. They pass a farmyard with lots of mules and pigs.
She (sarcastically): “Relatives of yours?”
He: “Yep. In-laws.”
7.
“I see that France briefly turned off the lights on the Eiffel Tower as a mark of respect for the late Queen. Here in UK our respect is obviously greater and longer as many folk will have no lights at all over the winter.”
*****
WHAT does King Charles do if he burps?
He issues a royal pardon.
(Spoiler: He actually doesn’t because he has, as we have seen, the manners of a Tory… NB: Pigs are nice.)
11.
A NEW angle on events in Blighty … Kenya TV broke the news with an on-screen footer message: “The Queen is dead … Charles is now Queen.”
14.
THE computer password had to be eight characters long and include at least one capital. So Trump made it made it “MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyWashington.”
21.
Thanks to Brenda, AndiMac, John, Erik, T, Graham.
MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 
Liked the deference instructions. For men… women… other people…
Other people? Royal website ahead of its time in recognising alternative choices of sex/gender ID and making provision for their inclinations. Who said the monarchy was antiquated and out out of date?
That thought occurred on earlier nocturnal prowl until a thunderstorm cut the tok (lekky) and forced an upstairs retreat. But not before NMRN had stirred the inner William Topaz again. Now on post-dawn patrol with tok restored so I can finish and send MNR ramblings. Tanned gents – did someone ask? Yes. Donald Trump of course. But he’s not mentioned? Yes, he’s only a digression – going off at a tanned gent.
Good rain in the darkness, and still very cloudy with more to come. Makes an excellent start to the week, especially combined with JFAL grins and guffaws to maintain leftover SS balm and renewal.
DIGRESSIONS AND TANNED GENTS
I must confess I do digress
Perhaps a bit too often
But it’s my digress and if I mess
I’m not yet in my coffin
Call digression big transgression
If wont to pointing fingers
But I’ve my own and kept well-honed
For deflating royal mingers
But Munguinites have tolerance
Of NMRN and daily rants
We keep returning to enjoy
The humour of the hoi-polloi
Like us and others common
Not Hordes of Louse in Upper House
Nor ermine-clad pretenders
Just indyy folk who take the boak
At ‘proud scot’ yoon promoters
Keep digressing and diverting
Us with all your talents, keep raining curses
On their heids – deluded Tory voters
(Dedicated to NMRN)
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Rants?
Streams of consciousness, please!
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LOL Indeed.
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“Deference instructions?” New ones?
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LOL… Very good. Is that the first poem you’ve had dedicated to you.
(Munguin was peopled to see his name appear.)
He said to give you a 1% salary increase.
🙂
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@ John Macdonald @ 6.26am
Brilliant…..your a poet, and we all know it…glad you show it.
I have never had anything dedicated to me before…..and there was me assuming I had sadly become ‘desiccated’ ( not a coconut just a nut) only then to read that another has written a ditty they have composed and ‘dedicated’ to moi.
I feel I should respond in prose….to dip me toes…..into trying to compose….while STILL in me nightclothes…..some ditty I suppose….but alas as everyone knows….that would then expose…..and finally disclose….that I was irritatingly one inclined to often pander to verbose (it rhymes when I say it)….and with that I’ll close…..
The above cannot match your eloquent words…..but I am only human…allegedly….and I always reach for the part of me that is infantile……I don’t do grown up !
I always remember many years ago while out drinking with some friends…..and one of my friends asked me if I was drunk ?……I responded……I am only drunk when I am not sober ( obvs the opposite can be the case too)……see THAT is how irritating a person I am ….LOL
Anyway I greatly enjoyed your ditty…..most welcome at a time when most of us , including moi, are all feeling a tad Sh*tty……it was indeed very witty…..unlike my poor effort which was bitty……but I am sure upon me you will take pity……as I am one who comes from the windy city ( yes I live in Edinburgh which currently is being invaded by those infected with royal mania…..allegedly…..the reality being tis the media who command it to be so…..and we DO have tourists here the noo….and they are absolutely beside themselves at being present at such a historical moment…..and a tad perplexed that people , who they do not know, are shoving the Union flag into their hands and demanding they wave it…..also discreetly giving them sheets with the now rewritten National (English) anthem that now asks God to save their KING)……I am so going to be sent to the tower am I no…..a wee holiday all expenses paid in Lunden toon darn sarf…..I’ll be up them **apples and pears….and me **plates of meat…..and me **Scotch eggs….will be tired oot climbing up them…..BUT I will not get me **Alan Whickers in a twist…..as they contain me **Fife and Drum…..
**Note the above cockney slang can be translated via my new book……Down at the old Bull and Bush…Bush Bush…published by ‘Cockneys are us’……based at Tufton Street…next to the office for The Institute of Ideas…a Think Tank allegedly whose office contains a Fish Tank…..and which also has a copy of Vera Lynn’s version of Tanks for the memories…..too many Tanks in the one place me thinks…….I’ll sign off now as tis time me straight jacket was adjusted by the person who THINKS he’s in charge (hubby) but is actually the one I control…..sort of…..I Tank you.
Anyway have a lovely day ( and everyone else too) John
🙂
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Some excellent ones today though not keen on the glass – eewww! I was much in need of a larf given that not only do I still have my lurgy but I have also developed mourning sickness. As in I’m really sick of it!!!
Ps Larry is looking rather stunning!
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Can we have Larry for king?
They are overdoing it, now we get to see george fifth.
Like the one of ET over westmonster and thatcherism explained.
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Well, basically, they are apparently tourist attractions and I have a feeling that Larry would be better at that than any of these weirdos.
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Sorry to hear that, PP. It does hang about a bit. A couple of weeks as a rule.
He he mourning sickness!
I think we all have that and there ages to go.
Best to ignore it all. From tomorrow it’s all happening in another country.
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This is a day too late, but we are not living in normal times. I thought the ducks were the ones that got fed???
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That’s lovely.
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Just to be clear,
The Stock Market is running the casino this week.
You can’t use a bike rack.
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You can’t use a bike rack?
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Might be a joke but someone has closed a bike rack for the duration.
Aw, isn’t that nice, airmiles is taking in the corgis, seems they have a nice cottage at no rent and the boy is on his uppers.
Meantime scientists are worried about an Antartic glacier surviving this summer season, down there.
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It’s a relief. I though the corgis would be put on the funeral pyre.
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LOL.
Not sure I’d not prefer that to living with Airmiles.
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The corgis, surely not. I heard it was to be Nicolas Witchell
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LOL LOL. They might be safer with him.
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Hardly. Thought Jake meant he (Shitchell) was for the suttee. Not corgis. Even with far smaller carbon paw-prints and less climate damage . Nae sweat for Airmiles to take them in. Even with his grubbier paw-prints.
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🙂
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Ah well, can’t have people parking their bikes at a time like this.
Yesterday, I’m told, in Dundee, all busses were cancelled (outrage) for 2 hours. Bad luck if you were a nurse, or porter at the hospital and had to get to work.
Munguin is a bit worried about Antarctica and we’re thinking of moving there because of the cost of living crisis this winter.
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Joe Biden will come and bring his wife, but he doesn’t get to name an American delegation. The invitation only went to him.
https://www.cnn.com/2022/09/11/politics/joe-biden-queen-elizabeth-funeral/index.html
I’m not at all happy about Camilla the homewrecker getting to wear a crown. On coronation day in 1937, the kids got to wear crowns too.
The Imperial State Crown was considerably squashed down for Queen Elizabeth, after George VI wore it. Philip turned down the Prince Consort title that Albert used in Victoria’s time.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/duke-of-edinburgh-rejected-prince-consort-offer/ar-AA11Hk1s?ocid=hmlogout&cvid=06c461dd8c084e329281b45e184d1f96
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How ridiculous does all that look in the 21st century?
This whole thing is costing an absolute fortune. But what the hell, it’s not like there’s any kind of economic crisis.
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ICYMI – its all falling down now.
https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/pope-dissolves-knights-malta-leadership-issues-new-constitution-2022-09-03/
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It has no real territory apart from a palace and offices in Rome and a fort in Malta, but is recognised as a sovereign entity with its own passports and licence plates.
That was news to me.
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Queen Liz swears allegiance to the Knights of Malta who in turn owes their allegiance to the Black Pope.
Its all been a charade they are two sides of the same coin.
Charlie, 33rd Degree Mason, is in the same situation.
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Oh… Ok ta.
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The story of the royal twins…
https://www.reformation.org/queens-elizabeth-and-lilibet.html
and the story referenced in the above
https://www.reformation.org/warming-pan-prince-of-wales-plot-exposed.html
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and down the rabbit hole we go…. there is a story on the royals if you page down, don’t know how long Charlie will last once this story does the rounds… and it will, loud and clear.
https://www.bitchute.com/search/?query=jay%20myers&kind=video
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and charlie boys and his WEF and NWO pals favourite topic debunked…by someone who looks like a real professor…Piers Corbyn, physicist, meteorologist and Jeremy’s elder brother
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I particularly enjoyed Charlie having to say the Oath on Camera, and he has to recommit every year as did his mother. At least the people would have seen him, maybe some will be curious. Here it is again “just for a laugh” of course…
“I, Charles III, by the grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of my other realms and territories, King, Defender of the Faith, do faithfully promise and swear that I should inviolably maintain and preserve the settlement of the true Protestant religion as established by the laws made in Scotland in prosecution of the Claim of Right and particularly by an act intituled an act for securing the Protestant religion and Presbyterian church government and by the acts passed in the Parliament of both kingdoms for union of the two kingdoms, together with the government, worship, discipline, rights and privileges, of the Church of Scotland.
So Help me God.”
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I don;t suppose Truss will understand any of that.
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I watched it too.
It surprises me that you haven’t mentioned the caveat that proceeded the bit you quoted.
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I must have missed the caveat, because I didn’t realise there was one. Enlighten me please.
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I look forward to the Sparticus clip.
I’m the king,
No, I’m the king,
No I’m the king.
Just a reminder of the new leader of the church of englandland, a serial nutter who was friends with saville and had a number of lady friends.
His uncle had to give up the monarchy as he wanted to marry a divorced person, queen parker bowles.
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The rules are bent to suit.
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Aye times change…..as they all seek to focus on the ‘Scottish connection’ with the Queen they perhaps forget that now that she is gone……the connection is severed….No ?
I mean if one thinks of the past exploits of royalty in bygone times (what wife be you on now King Henry ?…as I have lost me headcount)…..where the BBC are at pains to, via grovelling Witchell ,to paint a fake history of Britain and a monarchy that goes back as a ‘British’ monarchy to past times that equates to infinity and beyond…..we are all apparently subjects of Elizabeth’s( ancestors) bairns and NOT Jock Tamsons…..as clearly we are NOT all the same especially now with the media royal roadshow in full swing…..where many Scots are disengaged while the English seem inconsolable….as they need to grieve in public thus OWN all of the sorrow…..while some STILL having time to chastise Meghan Markle amidst the great pain and loss that they all collectively feel…..for but a figurehead they all did NOT know personally.
Charlie and his spawn love to come to Scotland….and THEIR Scottish estate…to shoot things…..as they indulge in the sport of Kings…..a tradition which like all traditions that allows them exemption from condemnation apparently…..Grouse shooting, fox hunting etc indeed if I had four legs I would never consider wandering anywhere within the perimeter of any Royal estate….as my life would most likely be at risk….and I would eventually be no more….mind you I also do not condone Horse Racing and especially loathe when a Horse dies in the Grand National race…..but no one seems to care or highlight how shocking that truly is…..as gambling and the Queen’s favourite sport must prevail.
What about princess Margaret….what indeed…..she bucked the trend did she not….liked a Gin, a few way too many holiday on a Caribbean island (free of charge obvs) and a Toy boy to while away HER time as a Royal Princess…..let’s forget her part in royal history…..what a gallus gal she was….och aye the noo…so she was…so she was…..
One has to laugh at how Prince Andrew is omitted too as one who has caused great embarrassment and pain to their Queen in her later years…..while Meghan and Harry are being touted as the ones who ‘let down her Majesty’…….Andrew of course is the REAL persona non grata but as he is the SON of the Queen then the usual suspects ,who like to stir the pot , will bypass him to get to someone else they have decided is most unroyal ( as black and American) and thus who is solely culpable for trying to destroy the good (Ha Ha) name of the Royal family…… as Piers Morgan says it is so…..and he did WITHOUT having to hack her phone too….
As Kangaroo above highlights the words that will not be laboured upon…..as in the UK government and t’others supress our Claim of right while Charlie only goes and speaks it out loud in public….oh my what a to do….not that a blind bit of notice or recognition of this fact will be acknowledged….OUR sovereignty is filed under Now is NEVER the Time….while theirs is filed under Tory party uber alles….also known as THEIR in charge and twas THEY who took back control post Brexit not their parliament or their people…but THEM…the Tory party aka The English Nationalist Party.
Jumps off me soap box….lands on a platform…trips up over me words and falls down exhausted from ANOTHER rant….. all incoherent but heartfelt…..God save me Hamstring (forget saving the King)…I hurt it when I fell off me soap box…..
My husband failed to adjust me straightjacket to uber tight….thus I was not restricted enough and was once again allowed free rein to type me nonsense ……God Save me Nonsense…..please note if any of the above is deemed treason*us I do not accept lawyers letters dispatched to me hoose…..as there is NO legal requirement for me to swear allegiance to the House of Windsor……I’m a rebel with a Clause ( in me contract)……vive la république…..
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LOL LOL.
I’ll just be glad when all the royal stuff is done and maybe the Trusspot will get back to the crises that we are trying to cope with in the bin of Europe.
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Oops meant to add that I Hope you get better Panda Paws …I have now tested negative ( how apt) and on the mend…..
Also I noted a ‘Like’ from ‘edjasfreeman’ to someone’s comment above….miss his/her comments on here and hope that he/she is well…..
The End ( or so you all hope)…though I am alas incorrigible it seems….
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Glad to hear you’re better NMRN
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Unbelievable! Well it would be if you didn’t know the rest of the Royal story, see my post above.
https://munguin.wordpress.com/2022/09/12/just-for-a-laugh-190/comment-page-1/#comment-141618
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