Two cockroaches are munching on garbage in an alley, when one says: “I was in that new restaurant across the street. It’s so clean. The kitchen is spotless, the floors are gleaming white. It’s so sanitary the whole place shines.”
“Please,” says the other cockroach, “Not while I’m eating!”
7.
DIALOGUE between a senior citizen trying to reset his password and the computer monster…
Windows: Please reset your password.
User: cabbage
Windows: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
User: boiled cabbage
Windows: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
User: 1 boiled cabbage
Windows: “Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
User: “50DAMNboiledcabbages
Windows: “Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.”
User:“50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouuDon’tGiveMeaAccessNow!”
Winows: : Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.”
User: “ReallyCheesedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYouAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow”
Windows: “Sorry, that password is already in use.”
15.
My brother took it really badly going to jail. He refused food and drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere.
After that we’ll NEVER AGAIN play Monopoly with him.
19.
Thanks to: AndiMac, TM, Russ, Brendan, John, Erik, Graham, Brenda… (Hope I remembered everyone).
MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 
The Makers Of The Dead Travel Fast.
Not sure about red squirrels tho’…
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Feeling ill when putting petrolin the car?
Feeling sick when paying for it?
You’ve got Car Owner virus.
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Interesting since according to the MSM Ukraine is winning. Best change channel.
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Thanks, all excellent and very funny. The ‘tea sock one’, lol!!
Truss is a piece of work. I have a £2 coin from 2016, Shakespeare commenoration, with the quote, ‘what a piece of work is a man’. Definitely applies to some women as well.
I’ve been watching some of the January 6 hearings, via PBS news, it really is quite terrifying and, scarily, it’s been said that the threat of it happening again has been no means gone away. Trump is determined to stand in 2024. Mob rule could still happen.
Just as an aside, I didn’t realise that some business people in the UK were told not to oppose Brexit in public as they could miss out on government money, a sort of blackmail really. Some in the business sector in NI are being threatened for their support for the protocol. Some very worrying consequences of England’s Brexit.
Scotland must escape the dysfunctional UK.
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It’s a frightening thought that Trump might run again.
You can only hope that the Party wouldn’t let that go unchallenged.
I knew that businesses were advised not to complain about Brexit, or lose government contracts.
That’s how desperate they are.
I wish they were clever enough not to mess with NI.
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Interview here re NI protocol and threats to those involved in business.
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So the unionists are saying, please make our economy worse…
They must be hopping mad that they were outplayed by their British prime minister and their British queen, because if he had not asked for and she had not granted a prorogation, they would have been able to scupper the Brexit deal that gives NI what unionist Michael Gove called “the best of both worlds”.
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Arty…….As you know, after almost a year of work taking depositions in mostly closed sessions, the “Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol” has finally started laying out its findings in televised presentations. The first of them was an evening session in television prime time that drew a large audience. The six column wide banner headline in the New York Times told the story.
Trump and his cronies had hatched a multi-pronged attack on the democratic electoral process itself, in an attempt to overturn the 2020 election; culminating (after all else failed in the state legislatures and federal courts) in a physical attack on the US Capitol itself. The mob was crying for Vice President Mike Pence’s blood, who intended to officiate at the counting of the certified electoral votes from the states in an honest manner. Trump wanted a fake count which would have thrown the election into the House of Representatives where he would almost surely have won.
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That was terrifying, Danny.
In what way was that not a coup d’état?
They stormed the Capitol; invaded the chambers; injured security staff; broke door and windows.
They set up gallows; called for the guillotine and screamed “Hang Mike Pence”, the vice president.
And he was behind it; indeed, led it?
And yet they still want him as president?
What the hell!!!
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Yes Tris……Unbelievable! No revolution in a Third World country was ever carried out with more determination than the one Trump and his minions fashioned to overturn the 2020 election. The Jan 6 committee ……even with the refusal of the mainstream Republicans to participate……seem to be on the way to laying it out in all its complexity. What the Republican leadership and voters will do about it remains to be seen.
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I wonder why the Republican side, Trumpist said anyway, refused to take part.
You would have thought that they would have wanted to put their side of the story before the lawyers and the people.
You’d think that they would have wanted to show that they were right, and give proof that the totally separate elections across 50 states had all been false.
It reminds me in a way of Andrew Windsor.
People who believe that they have a real case, and who can afford the smartest lawyers to put that case, don’t back out of putting the case.
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This is worth a watch, from Dec 2021. Very concerning indeed.
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Arty…….Good interview!
Generally, state elections (which also elect federal offices including the presidential electors) are run by the Secretary of State of the State, with the results certified by the State Governor. Trump was angry with Georgia State Governor Brian Kemp and Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger who certified Democrat Joe Biden as the victor in this historically Republican southern state. Trump famously phoned Raffensperger and told him to “find” enough additional Trump votes to flip the state back to Trump…..which Governor Kemp could then certify. (The phone call was recorded and leaked to the press.) Raffensperger and Kemp (both Republicans) refused to do what Trump demanded, and certified the state for Biden. Trump was furious and vowed vengeance. He (Trump) endorsed Trump-supporting candidates to run against Kemp and Raspersperger in the Georgia Republican Primary election last May 24, to try to kick Kemp and Raffensperger off of the November general election ballot.
While Trump candidates have been successful in several state GOP primaries this year, that was definitely NOT the case in Georgia. Kemp beat the Trump candidate for Governor by an unbelievable 52 percentage points, and Raffensperger handily won his Secretary of State race by 19 points. A stinging defeat for Trump who was caught (and RECORDED by Raffensperger) meddling illegally in the Georgia election process.
Raffensperger will appear and give testimony before the Jan 6 committee today, which will deal with Trump’s campaign to pressure state-level officials to overturn the 2020 election results.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/may/24/raffensperger-defeats-hice-georgia-election
https://www.npr.org/2022/06/21/1105974814/jan-6-committee-hearing-state-officials
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Tris…..Although bipartisan commissions are the way great investigations have usually been handled….from the Kennedy assassination to the 911 attack……the Republicans seemed to simply want to sweep the Trump coup attempt under the rug and forget it.
So first they agreed to participate, then they backed out. Probably a bad mistake for the reason you stated! This was something important enough that sweeping it under the rug was not going to be possible, and so the Democrats in the House were left to carry out the investigation. The House Select Committee gained bipartisan respectability when Liz Cheney agreed to join the panel, along with Adam Kinzinger, an anti-Trump House Republican from Illinois.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2022/06/20/eric-greitens-grotesque-ad/
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Dear heavens, Danny.
Your ex governor is a piece of work.
I can’t help thinking that his piece with guns is well over the top. It would be totally illegal here. A violent man with a history of actual violence, making a violent presentation for the Senate.
If someone gets killed, I’d be looking right at him.
Typically he’s at home with Trump.
This was the first answer to Kinzinger on Twitter:
Hey, Dave!
@davegreenidge57
·
Jun 20
Replying to
@AdamKinzinger
@ray_looking
and
@GOP
I’m not trying to minimize this, but look what’s happening with Crenshaw, Mike Pence, Brad Raffensperger and Bill Stepien, to name a few. Gingrich just labeled Cheney, a Stalinist. He knows better. This is no longer a political party. It’s a ways to it’s own means, a 5th column.
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Tris……Seems that Missouri politics has become almost as much of a freak show as Texas. It was probably too much to hope that being threatened with impeachment and forced to resign the Governorship over charges of sexual assault and campaign finance law improprieties would end the political career of Eric Greitens.
Imagine that if he wins the GOP nomination for the Senate in the Primary in August and the General election in November, Missouri’s two Senators will be Josh Hawley and Eric Greitens. You’ll recall Hawley’s salute to the mob attacking the Capitol on January 6…….a picture that made the papers around the world that day.
Hawley and Greitens…..Missouri’s two Senators???? Geeeeze!
This story about Greitens’ ad ran in the Kansas City Star. (May not open for you.) The ad is on Twitter, but not Facebook.
https://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article262692472.html
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It opened and I have no words, Danny.
That makes even the nut case Conservatives and the mad UKipper types here look reasonably said.
With people like him I see no reason why there will not be another attempted coup should they not like the results of any election in the future.
Given the number of deaths from firearms… it’s even more shocking.
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Tris…..Indeed! The Trump GOP was trying ANY scheme they could think of. In case you haven’t heard the latest details about the forged electoral votes for Trump in states that Biden won…….I just posted it (below)……or maybe (above)……depending on where WordPress put it……LOL.
The MSNBC account of the criminal scheme actually turned out pretty funny. 😉
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It’s hilarious, Danny… at the same time as being deadly serious.
They are so amateur.
I look forward to them doing jail time for this.
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Indeed, Trump is SOOO stupid, in addition to be being evil and venal. And it had gotten to the point that no competent and reputable lawyers would work for him. He only had people like Rudy Giuliani and Sydney Powell. Definitely a Keystone Cops operation! The concern is that the NEXT time, the people trying to overturn an election might not be so stupid.
Here is a part of yesterday’s Jan 6 Committee testimony from Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, and parts of Trump’s phone call to Georgia investigator Frances Watson claiming voter fraud, and declaring that he won the state. He demanded she “find” and certify the exact number of votes he needed to win.
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He is stupid, isn’t he?
He sounds like a child. He doesn’t construct sentences; he really says nothing. He just whines that he wants ice cream and demands that he get it… or he’ll scream and scream and scream until he’s sick
I’d say Trump should be in prison.
But then, he has this massive support amongst the population.
He’s not dissimilar to Johnson, except I think Johnson is probably cleverer than he is.
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Tris…….Yes, Trump is almost literally dumb as a stone. Johnson would HAVE to be cleverer, as strange as that sounds…..LOL.
In the recorded phone calls to Georgia……..(there were other calls to other states that were not recorded)……he does indeed sound like a petulant child. He shifts in a moment from being friendly and accommodating, to flattery, to threats of retaliation……even suggesting that his contacts will be in trouble with the law if they don’t do what he wants.
There were two phone calls to Georgia that were recorded, and that were first reported by the Washington Post, and immediately verified by other press sources. From Wiki…..”On December 23, 2020, Trump called the chief investigator for the Georgia secretary of state’s office [Frances Watson], who was then conducting a ballot audit in Cobb County. [Secretary of State] Raffensperger had ordered the audit in response to allegations of fraud.”
Then on January 2, 2021, he called Raffensperger himself. The Post and other press outlets had the recording of that conversation on January 3. Raffensperger had recorded it for his own legal protection, but decided to release it after Trump divulged it on Twitter. Wiki……”On January 3 Trump said on Twitter that he had spoken to Raffensperger and that Raffensperger was “unwilling or unable to answer questions” about alleged election fraud and that he “has no clue”. Later that day, the recording of the conversation was released to the Washington Post and other media outlets.
Raffensperger said he had not initially intended to release the tape, but felt compelled to respond after Trump misrepresented the call on Twitter.”
So Trump commits election tampering and then brags about it on Twitter! IDIOT! Now it’s fully documented in the public record, and was cited as evidence in the second impeachment by the House on January 13, and in the Senate impeachment trial on February 9-13…….as well as in the Jan 6 Committee findings……and in Wiki! 🙂 The Georgia criminal investigation may still bear fruit, although the Georgia GOP is impeding the state criminal investigation of Trump in every way it can.
Trump–Raffensperger phone call:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trump%E2%80%93Raffensperger_phone_call
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Are ordinary Americans not hugely incensed about this, Danny.
You, not the political anoraks, but Mrs and Mrs USA in the street, in a bar, in the store…
I love the way Raffensperger calls it “misrepresentation”, when what he really wants to say is “lying SOB”.
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Tris….It’s hard to know just how many people are incensed enough for it to have an important political effect. One view is that in our polarized political climate, with the mid-term elections coming up in November, the vote totals are probably already set in stone. Being a mid-term election, history says that the party in the White House will lose seats in both houses of Congress. So with everyone angry and obsessed with rising prices and $5.00 gasoline, angry about Covid continuing, increasing interest rates and house mortgage payments, etc, it’s likely that the Democrats will lose big, and the GOP will easily gain control of both houses of Congress.
As for Trump, the story of the insurrection has come out over the last year or so in bits and pieces, and people were wondering if the Jan 6 Committee findings will even matter. However, the television ratings of the long awaited public hearings have been fairly good……200 million people watched the first one. So people may care more about it than was once thought.
The long term effect is probably unknown right now, but will be much more evident as we near the 2024 presidential vote. The question now is whether or not Biden’s Justice Department will have the will to go after the major players in the insurrection, up to and including Trump himself. The Justice Department always moves slowly, much to the dismay of people who really ARE incensed about what has been exposed as nothing less than a wide-ranging insurrection and coup attempt that could rise to the level of treason. One view now is that the decision might be to let Trump off the hook…….(as a bad precedent to prosecute a president after he leaves office)…….and go after a high level scapegoat.
There have been reports that Trump and his people might be getting ready to throw John Eastman under the bus. Eastman was a high powered right wing attorney who advised Trump and was instrumental in the Pence plan. Eastman spoke at the White House rally before the Capitol attack.
Eastman with Giuliani at the White House rally:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/06/16/jan-6-hearing-john-eastman-trump/
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/jun/16/trump-lawyer-john-eastman-presidential-pardon
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/jan6-eastman-trump-committee-investigation-pardons-1371419/#recipient_hashed=38184dadd161b45a42491ce03ec5c3dd1e15c98752f1de267670070fb7159528
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Almost impossible to believe he could get off with it … and throwing Eastman under the bus, yeah, it might work, but most sensible people must know that Trump brought total disgrace to America. He did so throughout his presidency of course. Angela Merkel pointed out that no one could count on or trust America any more.
But to go out on organising a coup…. Jeez.
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Eastman was certainly a key player in the plot, but he and Trump are often characterized in the press as “co-conspirators.” It remains to be seen how the federal justice department will deal with the people at the top of the conspiracy. The Department of Justice works in secrecy and moves slowly in building big cases that span years. They are not accustomed to the glare of publicity like they’ve been receiving. Attorney General Merrick Garland is certainly gathering evidence, but whether he’s in any way close to prosecuting the leaders of the insurrection is anybody’s guess.
One thing about Trump is pretty certain. He turned out to be even worse than anyone ever imagined.
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He kinda saved the “best” till last.
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PS Tris……In the Jan 6 committee today, we got more information on the GOP “fake electors” scheme. Just one of the several schemes that was used to try to overturn the election.
Turns out that the Trump people……(AND the Republican National Committee was also in on the scheme)…….organized Republican operatives who met in several state capitals where Biden won, and PRETENDED to be electoral college voters who proceeded to generate bogus…..FORGED…….. electoral college votes for TRUMP. Then it was a matter of getting the forged documents and certifications……with all the signatures and fake electoral college seals and ribbons, to Washington to be accepted as an “alternate” slate of electors that would need to be in Mike Pence’s hand on January 6. Then he could declare that “alternate” slates of electors were in hand, which could only be resolved by Congress in a way that would delay Biden’s certification, and possibly end up with Congress declaring Trump the winner.
A Republican Senator……Ron Johnson of Wisconsin……a nut case of the highest order…….was tasked with getting the forged Trump electoral votes from Wisconsin and Michigan to Mike Pence so that he could declare an impasse in two big states that Biden carried…….and presumably stop the electoral vote count on January 6.
The press got wind of the illegal and unconstitutional GOP electoral college vote scheme some time back, and it’s likely that people will go to prison for it. The Jan 6 committee laid out the criminal scheme in all its details in testimony yesterday. They played a video in which reporters caught Ron Johnson in the Capitol parking lot and started quizzing him……even though he first tried to pretend he was busy talking on his phone. (One of the reporters caught him in THAT lie too….LOL.) Rachel Maddow and the MSNBC news people described the whole thing. Seeing the evil and stupid nut case Senator Ron Johnson caught by the reporters was FUNNY!
Senator Johnson: “I’m on the phone.”
Reporter: “No you’re not. I can see the screen.”
LOL…..LOL…..LOL
https://www.cnn.com/2022/06/21/politics/ron-johnson-fake-elector-scheme-trump/index.html
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That’s great. Well done, that reporter.
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Yes I saw that, and they had a gallows set up to hang Mike Pence. Terrifying.
I watched this earlier, it was aired in Dec ’21.
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Oops sorry posted that twice…my bad, too impatient.
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LOL LOL
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Terrifying.
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Arty……Yes Mike Pence (Vice President of the USA and President of the Senate), and Nancy Pelosi (Speaker of the House) were clearly in great physical danger from the Trump mob.
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My favourites were the old man talking to the dog about the daftness of the old woman talking to the cat and the Monopoly one. I’ve not heard Liz Truss, for which I remain grateful, but I could well believe Teasock. Really HOW hard can it be, or could she not just use his name!
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Things don’t have to be terribly hard to defeat Truss.
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I’m sure truss said ‘Two Shirts’.
Love the car one, buy the petrol and we’ll throw in a car.
I remember at an auction a similat quote.
‘Gentlemen, There’s a car with this MOT certificate’
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No, Dave, it was definitely “teasock” 🫖🧦
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Off to get the ears done then.
Just for a laugh was looking at last week’s output from the tory msp’s that Nicola’s not doing her job and needs to intervene in the railstrike.
This morning their leader’s man in westmonster says ‘It’s not a minister’s job to intervene.
Hung out to dry, again.
The put down at FMQT should be good.
As to truss she probably needs hep with Loch.
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She needs help with dressing!
They aren’t really joined up, are they, the Tories.
The motto seems to be …”Just saying anything, then deny it. It’s worked for Boris all these years.”
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Most definitely.
I’ve always loved the American expression “dumb as a stump”, but applied to Truss, I can’t help feeling that Stumps might be somewhat insulted.
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LOL. Good one.
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Something I came across today.
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Brilliant.
I hear that the Home Satan, I mean secretary, wants to fit up refugees with electronic tags.
I wonder she never though about using yellow stars.
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Tris, Just for a laugh the BoE is withdrawing the mortgage affordability test for borrowers in August.
That went well the last time.
Have a look at the publishing then withdrawal of an article making princess nutnuts an advisor in the foreign office, when she was the mistress of the foreign secretary.
The Times has just destroyed their reputation as the voice of the nation, it’s just the voice of the established government, IF Tory.
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To add to all the other woes, a housing market boom… then bust… and having to bail out banks again. Brilliant.
And yes, clearly someone in the Times was told that if they wanted any help in the future, Carrie Antoinette and the top job in the FCO should definitely be spiked.
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Has there been a cummings?
Reading that the free presciption age in englandland is to rise to match the retirement age instead of 60 as at present.
A new case for airmiles to answer has been raised in the courts, another £12 m illion donation from us, perhaps.
This morning on GMB , clark was asked if he was using the briefing on the miners strike of the 70’s as their tactics for the summer of Discontent.
Richard Murphy’s blog on the number of businesses asking for help to survive, seems they were handing out dividends to shareholders or buying in their shares with borrowed money.
Are we sure the buffoon isn’t a Russian sleeper?.
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Not at all sure.
What’s handsy andy been up to this time… nah, wait, I probably don’t want to know just before I eat.
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A few days past the post date but very much appreciated and enjoyed.
Andi’s Shamrock Blend and Ben Habib’s Rwanda solution, desperate for a gig and relevance he had tagged Patel, GB news and TalkTV in 😂
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🙂 🙂
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