In the strange world of today, blessed as we are with a lying, delusional moron as president of the United States of America and a Britain ripping itself out of the European Union, the largest richest trading block in the world, and going who knows where,  under the “direction” of a disparate bunch of idiots who seem to have no idea what they are doing… and in any case are all doing whatever it is differently, it has become increasingly difficult to take seriously any of the what now passes for news.

In fact, I read earlier today that Private Eye is no longer as funny as it once was. Presumably this is because it’s impossible to put a ‘funnier’ spin on the already hilariously ridiculous news.


Today, we heard that David Davis thinks that, while MPs will get the chance to debate the terms of Brexit deal (or one of the different kinds of no deal that he imagines to be possible), it might actually have to happen after the deed is done and dusted. By which time, of course, it will be impossible to make changes and any vote would be as much of a waste of time as the one which they had on Universal Credit. Bravo, David.

Then we find out that Harry Windsor has been on a charm offensive to Denmark. The government, being lumbered with Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary, has decided to use the Windsors to do his job. Well, I suppose they have to do something for all that money.


Additionally, Willie and Kate and Charles and Cammy have been sent off at various times recently, to visit various parts of Europe. This is apparently designed to make the Europeans feel kindly disposed to the English or Brits or whatever. Note that H\rry arrived in a private jet, so heaven knows what the cost of this jolly is.


Still, it has to be better than sending grandpa!


I’ve just read too, that the only semi-sentient Defence Secretary SIR Hic Fallon has told the Defence Committee: “I have to repeat, sadly, to this committee that criticism of Saudi Arabia in this parliament is not helpful”.

Fallon claimed that criticism of Saudi Arabia in Parliament was the reason that a large order for Eurofighter Typhoon Jets to the barbaric kingdom was being held up.


Well, we’re bloody sorry.  Who are we to be spoiling Britains chance to sell these people more weaponry to kill Yemen kids, or indeed to arm whatever other rebels they arm? (Ask Boris.) Stop being nasty about the royal Saudi thugs.

It will come as no surprise that the waste of space that inhabits the cabinet chair marked “Secretary of State against Scotland and for Making May’s Tea” was unable to tell us what new powers would be coming to Scotland… just as he was unable to explain why, as powers keep being given back to Scotland, it has been necessary for him to boost his staff from 5 to over 70.


His only function is to represent Scotland’s interests in London. He has now 15 times the staff numbers available to him to do this. And yet, having promised a raft of new powers, he is unable to name one of them. NOT ONE. What on earth use is he, or indeed is his Noble Friend the Under Secretary so recently and with indecent haste raised to the aristocracy when he lost an election? (You Jocks didn’t vote for him, but we’ll make him your overlord anyway! Sod this democracy lark!)


And all that is before I’ve even had a chance to find out what kind of tomfoolery the orange baboon has been up to today.



Firstly it’s ridiculously unimportant in the great scheme of things, but as far as I can see, the word “EASTER” is still pretty prominent (as in the largest point size) here, at least in Scotland. And I only went to ADSA Opticians!

Secondly, I’m not entirely sure that the national Trust should be obliged to do any work promoting Christain festivals. David Cameron insisted that “we are a Christain nation”, but we’re not really, and neither should we be. People, not nations, should hold religious beliefs because, above all, beliefs are very individual things. As I’ve said so many times on this blog, I respect everyone’s right to their religious beliefs but I don’t expect them to be rammed down my throat.

Thirdly, I never cease to be amazed at the inordinate fuss that the state church, and when it thinks it’s useful to them, politicians, make of any diminution or watering down of Christian influence in our daily lives.

We mustn’t, in any way, stop Christmas being called Christmas, for example (even although it’s been referred to as the “holidays” for a long time in our big brother and mentor country, the USA). Happy Holidays.


No one seems to mind that we attach to Christmas, the supposed birth of Christ (which probably took place in October), the singularly biggest-ever festival of greed and waste known to man…well, with the possible exception of the Saxe Coburgs. We spend the best part of three months extolling our populace to spend, spend, spend. Borrow if you have to, to buy rubbish that they don’t want for people you don’t like, so that they can dump it on the next bin day. It doesn’t matter, as long as you make large amounts of money for organisations that are probably on the tax fiddle. From my memories of Bible Study at school, that was never what it was about. Oh Bah, Humbug, I hear you say.

And as for Easter, well,  should we attach Christianity to the fact that for the last month we’ve had aisles in supermarkets fair brimming with all manner of Easter Eggs? What are these Easter eggs again? Oh yeah,  fairly small (and gettings smaller) thin, pieces of chocolate in a cardboard box, with a small bar of chocolate or little toy inside them, selling for about twice what that weight of confection would normally sell for. Like Christmas Crackers…a rip off.

No complaints from the Church about that? Christmas festival a rip off…scilence. But don’t, whatever you do, forget to put Easter in your Egg competition, or the wrath of the highest bornof the land will descend upon ye.


And so, the prime minister, a vicar’s daughter and a member of the National Trust… on a visit to a Middle Eastern dictatorship where you can be flogged or sentenced to death for converting to Christianity, or for being gay, or for criticising the king… and a list of other trivial “offenses… with the main purpose of selling arms, goes off on a rant about how ridiculous it is that Easter has been left out of the “egg hunt” (when it hasn’t).

To coin a word… JEEEEEEEZ!

Still, it takes people’s minds off the chaos that is Brexit.



The following list of MPs voted against a Labour motion calling for a ban on the selling or arms to the despotic and barbaric Kingdom of Saudi Arabia; a country where the king is a friend of the Windsors.

Apparently, the foreign secretary said that if the UK didn’t sell arms to them then someone else would, which, although it is undoubtedly true, just about sums up his attitude to morality.

How much better for these kids to be killed and maimed by Great British bombs than by some inferior foreign muck.