WELL, YOU WON’T HAVE MISSED THIS…

…  because the BBC and STV have apparently been over it like a rash. And doubtless, the tabloids will be giving 7+ pages each tomorrow.

Thousands and thousands of people, it appears, turned out to meet the royal couple (only they aren’t a royal couple yet and it was hundreds and hundreds … or sort of).

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In truth, there wasn’t a huge turnout, as these photographs show.

I’ve seen a couple of quotes in reports. One was from a couple of elderly ladies who had travelled from Newcastle in England, because this was a treat and they didn’t get much in the way of royal visits there. (To each her own.)  The other was a grad student from Monterey in Mexico.

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But, of course, I’m sure there were many Scots there, and if I hadn’t lost the will to live,  and persevered with reading, I’m sure I would have seen some quotes from them in the text, doubtless frothing over their royalnesses, and the tartan coat Princess Harry to be somewhat patronisingly wore. But I can’t help thinking that the press rather overdid the estimates of the number of admirers, just as they tend to underestimate the numbers that turn up at an independence rally or indeed the rally in London about NHS England, which, I’m told, went largely ignored.

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Someone on Twitter commented that the numbers at the castle weren’t terribly much more than you would expect for tourists at this time of the year.

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The royals are extremely rich. Some recent estimates of the family’s fortune have been as high as £40 billion, and although I’m sure they are guesswork, it still seems to me that they can afford the wedding without getting a payday loan from Wonga. So maybe the wedding money would be better spent on the NHS or trying to find homes for the homeless.

After all, we don’t pay for any other Tom, Dick or Harry to get wed, why would we pay for this one? I don’t think that any members of it should have their weddings paid for by us but certainly not as far down as 5th in line.

You may or may not wish to sign the petition here. It won’t, of course, make any difference at all. Theresa will still throw as much money at it as is required. It’s going to be a distraction from Brexit reality for the masses and   heaven knows she needs that. However, it’s the gesture that counts.

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The Daily Star is reporting that Barack and Michelle Obama have been invited to the wedding.  But given that the Daily Star prints even more ridiculous garbage than the Express and the Mail and that wrapping your fish supper in it is an insult to the poor dead fish and the potatoes which were dug out of the ground,  I’d take that with a pinch of salt (and vinegar?).

It would be interesting if he did though. Can you imagine Trumpy’s orange face going red as he stropped? It would be worth contributing a couple of quid for the wedding just to see that!

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ALL FOR HARRY’S WEDDING

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The Tory leader of Windsor council, Mr Simon Dudley (presumably hoping that Mr will now be a short-term title) has written to his local Police and Crime Commissioner, Anthony Stansfeld, asking that he take action to clear beggars off the streets of Windsor  before the planned wedding of Harry Windsor and Miss Marple in May.

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Well, that’s not entirely true. The facts seem to be that Mr Dudley tweeted a good deal about it while he was on a skiing holiday in Wyoming over Christmas, and then wrote a letter (dated January 2) to Mr Stansfeld, which he leaked to the press. Unfortunately, possibly due to the dire straits of the privatised postal service in Britain, the letter has yet to arrive. (However, Mr Stansfeld was able to read all about it in the press, so that’s OK.)

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Clearly Sir Simon, sorry, my mistake, MR Dudley, [don’t be so previous, Tris, signed Munguin] wants to make sure that when the eyes and ears of international media descend upon his little corner of the green and pleasant land in May, the streets will be the way one expects of a town that boasts Windsor Castle, one of the royal family’s many publicly owned residences (tour £53 a pop. family ticket), Eton college, where princes (and others who can afford the fees of £34,000+ a year) go to school, and Ascot Racecourse, (dress code NOT optional).

Eton schoolboys in traditional tails at Eton College, England, UK

Mr Dudley (got it right this time) contends that many of the beggars who populate his patch are homeless for the fun of it, and the caring Conservative council has offered them all suitable accommodation, which they have refused because they prefer to be sleeping on the cold hard streets in winter weather. (Ungrateful beggars!) [Enough! signed Munguin.]

So, where to put all these down and outs while their majesties and highnesses and lords and ladies and other dignitaries are partying and spending untold millions which they managed to get from us, not to mention all OUR money paying for security for all their posh friends?

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Well, I have a suggestion. I’ve heard that there is a nearby state-owned house with over 1000 rooms and only one family living there.

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As an afterthought, this notion of royals marrying divorcees has caused some anguish in the past. According to the teachings of the Church of England, it is not possible to marry a divorced person who has a spouse living. Presumably because vows made before god that are “till death us do part” are supposed to mean just that.

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So back in the 1930s when Edward wanted to marry Mrs Simpson, a twice-divorced person, he was obliged to abdicate and go to France where he could be married.

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When Anne remarried, Mr Philips still being alive) she fled to Scotland to use the Church of Scotland to get hitched to her current husband.

When Charles wanted to marry the divorcee Mrs Parker-Bowles in 2005, he was obliged to do so in a registry office (registrars), although he did get the Archbishop of Canterbury to bless the wedding, which kinda defeated the point.

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Now Harry will marry his divorcee in a chapel in Windsor Castle.

Has the Church of England decided that it was wrong to deny marriage to so many people over the years?  If so, will it apologise to them? If not, is there a special dispensation for royals now?

Just asking.

FRIDAY FOTOS

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Apologies for the lack of work this week.

And I know it’s been an exciting week, what with Derek’s budget proposals, Ruth’s admission that she’d not be averse to a London parliamentary seat (the worst kept secret in the world), the Mayhembot being beaten in parliament on taking back to control to their parliament (instead of a cabal of right wing nut jobs), Kezia being sent to the Scottish equivilent of Coventry, and the high nesses Willie and Charlie joining the Maypole at a service for the survivors and victims of the greed and incompetence of Kensington Council, many of whom still have no permanent home.

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Charles and Willie, of course, will remember when their mother’s/granny’s place at Windsor went up in flames and they had to throw Rembrandts and Van der Neers out the window. A dreadful year. An annus horribilis, in fact!

Doubtless, the royals were thinking to themselves how awful it was for these people to lose their priceless works of art (I mean your average Botticelli doesn’t look its best after being flung from the 20th floor of a multi), but then consoled themselves in the sure and certain knowledge that those who were left alive would have, as mama/grandmama had, decanted to one of their other houses, filled with equally desirably artworks

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Then there was the slap in the face that Trumpy got when despite his presidential endorsement, Roy Moore and his horse were not elected to the US Senate, and the South’s South, the reddest state in the union, elected a Democrat senator, leaving Trump’s majority on the shoggliest of nails.

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Finally, of course, there was that magical and heartwarming news that Harry the Hunter and his bird are to be wed, largely at our expense, on May the something or other. Joy unbounded. (Note to May: Brilliant day to bury any disastrous news.)

Anyway, there should have been articles on most if not all of those matters, and there was not. Munguin is not a happy chappy, and Tris is now sharing the cellars with Mick the Mouse. Nice bit of cheese for supper though!

Anyway… here’s some auld pics to puzzle over. Hope that makes it up to you! Munguin says you can all have 10 per cent of your subscriptions back….

What more could you ask?

Wait a minute…

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DMrxpfNWAAAPYzFn suachiehall street

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RANDOM ROYAL THOUGHTS

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As most of you will have gathered, neither Munguin nor I give a twopenny damn about royals and indeed some English bloke marrying an American woman is a yawn to us. Frankly, I don’t much care when a member of my family gets married, never mind one of their family? But it has headlined in the news so much over the last few days, and it must have been a godsend to the Maybot, whose circuitry must be close to blowing a proverbial gasket, that Munguin wanted me to mention it here.

So, just after Kensington Palace announced the betrothal, the Brit government announced quietly that most benefits wouldn’t be raised yet again this year. With inflation at 3% and expected to rise, that is an out and out scandal.

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It seems that Meghan is a Tory.

Quick lunch break and watched David Cameron’s parting speech. What a class act 👏🏼👏🏼

Not really a class act if you have to live here as an ordinary person, Meghan (not like a duchess, as you will, obviously). He called an unnecessary referendum in an effort to save his backside from a possible rise in UKIP voters. He made a mess of tryying to renegotiate Britain’s relationship with the EU. He mishandled the referendum campaign and allowed people like Gove, Johnson and IDS, Patel and others to tell the most egregious lies about, amongst other things, NHS funding and immigration.

He refused to allow the civil service to do any preparatory work for the eventuality of a Leave vote, because, quite simply, he believed that people like him never lose anything, so that when Brexit hit us, the government was utterly unprepared.

Having promised that he would stick around and continue as prime minister if he lost, he announced early the very next day that he was standing down, but he would remain an MP. Then he quit as an MP.

He’s left the most unholy mess. Whether you are a remainer or a leaver, it is impossible not to see that the whole thing is being unbelievable badly managed by an incompetent prime minister and a set of nut job cabinet ministers at war with one another and who seem incapable of getting a single thing right.

Class act is not a description I recognise.

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Staying on the subject of Harry’s wedding, I read in the Telegraph that they are to be married in St George’s Chapel in Windsor. I also heard that Meghan is a divorcee. Colour me perplexed.

Edward VIII had to abdicate to marry his American divorcee.

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Anne got round the Church of England’s ban on marriage of divorced people who have a spouse living, by coming to Scotland where the Church of Scotland has no such ban. Charles got round marrying Mrs Parker-Bowles while Mr Parker Bowles was still alive, by getting married in a registrants’ office (although he sneakily got the archbishop of Canterbury to bless the wedding, making a bit of a fool of the rules, after all, it is about the fact that marriage is till death do you part).

I was wondering when the Church of England changed their views on marrying divorcees. Anyone know?

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Another royal who suffered at the hands of the English Church and the seemingly sometimes flexible unwritten constitution was Michael. He wanted to marry Princess Pushy an Austrian noblewoman, but because she was a Catholic, he had to give up his place in the succession, because it was unthinkable that a Catholic could ever get anywhere near the throne.

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I rather liked this picture of our Arlene meeting Captain Birdseye (alias Michael of Kent). I’m not quite sure what she’s doing, but it’s an embarrassing time to get caught short!

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Of course, the Daily Express couldn’t let the announcement pass without Diana popping into the office, presumably through a medium, and giving them her views on the thing.

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Anyway, as I would with any couple, I wish them the best. They will have it, of course. Many homes, paid for by us. First class transport, paid for by us. The best in clothes, paid for by us. Fabulous holidays, paid for by us. Servants, paid for by us. And presumably we’ll be paying for the blue blood transfusion as she becomes a duchess.

I was happy to hear that the royals have agreed to pay, out of their £60 billion fortune, some of the cost of the wedding. However, I suspect that the gigantic cost of security will be yet again borne by… you and me.

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