Random Clusters in Birmingham

Image result for boris johnson walks through a field
Sorry about the shock to the system. We hope you weren’t about to eat. The sight of Boris in his under garments isn’t advised either before or after a heavy meal..or indeed at any other time.

So Boris spoke, after running through a cornfield like the naughty wee soul that he is…

Basically, he said he thought everyone should get behind Theresa May and push her off… No, sorry, got carried away there. Munguin made me say it, honest.

He said they should get behind her, but he also said that she had to ditch “Chequers” (the agreement, not the house), which she has already said is the only possible way forward.

So, if I understand right, he’s saying that they should get behind her if she adopts HIS policies.

OK, fine.

Is it just me, or is she starting to look like Mr Burns?

It has all made Mrs May “cross”.

I am wondering how concerned Mr Johnson is about the prime ministerial crossness. Making people cross is his business, after all, so I’m suspecting ‘not a lot’ is probably the answer to that. Still, even if he is, he has a new protector in the form of his new wingman, Ross Thomson. Obviously more interested in preferment in a Boris government than bothering about his constituents.

Adding to Tessy woes, the Irish Border problem is never far from the surface.

Queen Arlene of Orange has laid it on the line to the PM.

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If May agrees to any kind of border in the Irish Sea, then the support deal is off (‘what billion you paid as a bribe?’, she was heard to say). There must be no difference between Great Britain and Northern Ireland, well, obviously except in matters like abortion or gay marriage, or any other loonie stuff.

She also indicated that the Good Friday Agreement wasn’t sacrosanct… which I think she will find is a quite a large lie… and she may end up going to hell.

So battered from all sides, Mrs May has agreed to another interview but only with the BBC. No other channels are getting to speak to her. Mr Snow is not a happy man. And it is beginning to look like the BBC is the state broadcast in every sense. Still, if you want an increase in the telly tax…

Feel free to update me if I missed any of the disasters that befell them today…

Can’t wait for tomorrow. I bet all the minions are going around with superglue nailing letters to the wall.

What’s the theme this year? OPPORTUNISTS?