IT’S NOT GETTING ANY BETTER

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So the day got off badly for Labour with their deputy leader, Tom Watson, resigning. Despite the pleasant exchange of letters between Jeremy Corbyn and him, there was definitely an undertone. It was an odd time for Watson to choose to resign, right at the beginning of the campaign.

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Then things went downhill, fast. Ian Austin, an ex-Labour minister, urged people to vote Tory. Then his ex-colleague John Woodcock joined in, saying that Corbyn must never be allowed to get his hands on power. Good day’s work. (NB It is fair to say that Ian Austin left the Labour Party some months ago to become an Independent and, since leaving Labour, the Tory Party have appointed him as an Envoy to Israel.

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In Scotland, Labour sacked their candidate for Edinburgh South West, Frances Carmel, Hoole. Her sacking appears to be related to a Twitter comment (which I have not seen and which is no longer extant, but it involved spraying bleach, for heaven’s sake) about the SNP’s Joanna Cherry, QC.

Hoole apologised and put up this tweet:

I’ve removed the meme, I didn’t think when I posted it. I apologise to her. I’m lucky to have never had threats like her and didn’t consider it properly. I’ve removed threads so people don’t have to read the transphobic hate attached. 

It doesn’t sound overly apologetic to me, and she has been complaining about the backlash. Just how uncivilised has politics become?

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Meanwhile, elsewhere in Scotland, Johnson turned up at the back door and gave an absolute pledge that he would never allow a second referendum in Scotland. You remember he’s awfully good at giving absolute pledges. Do or die, come what may, no ifs and no buts, die in a ditch, blah, blah, blah

So let’s get prepared.

Incidentally, I’m not certain he met any ordinary members of the public. Tory leaders tend to come to Scotland and be welcomed in large unionist companies where the plebians are told to treat them with the utmost respect… or else.

Paul Brand, of ITV told us that he’d been “whiskey tasting”.

Oh well!

He’s gone off to Northern Ireland now, taking the odour of death in a ditch with him.

As Nicola said in parliament today… Haste ye back!

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Gavin Williamson, the idiot’s idiot.

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Absolutely loved this

Sarah Ludford 

Jeremy Hunt on #Peston excuses Johnson’s inflammatory language because ‘that’s Boris’. Why on earth should this charlatan get a free pass just because he’s a spoiled brat?

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MORE PANTO FROM THE TORIES, STARRING MATT HANCOCK AS THE FAIRY GODMOTHER (9 BILLION MORE POLICE) AND DITCHY AS GOLDIELOCKS THE PORRIDGE STEALER

What does Boris mean by this?

Of the four NHS services in the UK, the Scottish one performs best. So what is he saying?

Is he suggesting that the SNHS, devolved by referendum in the 1990s should be taken back into UK hands and run by the Scotland Office and the largely English House of Commons?

Well, it’s not beyond the bounds of possibility. After all, we recently pointed out several other responsibilities that have been repatriated quietly by London despite a referendum which was (to Blair’s credit) very clear about what was devolved and what was not.

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Many of these items may be important in the trade talks to come, at least some with bigger and more powerful economies such as India, Japan and the USA.

So too will be the supply of drugs from US Pharmaceuticals (at vastly inflated costs compared with current pricing), about which US officials have been having a series of meetings with UK authorities recently, despite no one bothering to tell the Secretary of State for the English Health Service…well, that’s what he says anyway. Well, when I say “he says”, I really mean “he splutters incoherently which trotting out trite sound bites”

From all that I read, the health service in England is in a parlous state. They are short of ten thousand doctors and over forty thousand nurses. A friend of mine waited three months for a GP appointment in London. There is almost no mental health care and hospital beds are blocked, sometimes for a year or more, by elderly people too ill to go home alone, but too well to be in hospital.

Years of leaving things in the hands of Jeremy Hunt has not been kind to the service, and of course many nurses and doctors (not to mention radiologists, physios and care workers from elsewhere in Europe have left for pastures new, thanks to their madcap Brexit. (Hunt said at the Tory Party Conference in 2016 that as soon as he had trained up suitable staff he would be able to get rid of foreign doctors and nurses… and clearly, some of these foreign staff thought they should pre-empt that sacking for not being English, and do the repatriation at their own speed!)

So I suspect that forcing the English Health Service on us will go down like a stone. Add to that the increased cost of the drugs and it becomes even more unappealing.

The only alternative interpretation I can take from the statement that Ditchy made there, is that he hopes that under the tender care of Jackass Carlot, the Tories in Scotland will become the government and  take the SNHS under their wings, so they can make the same sort of job of it as Hunt and Hancock have done in England.

Heaven help us.

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Just for a laugh, I see they have sent Hancock, who isn’t perhaps their stupidest minister, but not far from it, out to the studios today and here he is answering questions about police in England (also in a parlous situation thanks to the Tories’ cuts).

I know that their ministers are by and large 4th rate, but there just has to be someone a bit more competent than this berk, surely???

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LOONIES, THE LOT OF THEM

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A magic money tree that doesn’t have Arlene’s name on it?

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I have a feeling that this is the kind of behaviour that will only engender bad feeling with the EU. And that’s probably not what we are aiming at if we need the best possible deal.

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EDIT.

Someone just pointed out that this is not the first time someone has done this.

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Nazis in 1926 at the Reichstag.

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JEREMY: I SUPPORT EVERY TEAM

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Jeremy Hunt is afraid that if he says he supports one team above another, he might lose a vote or two.

So, as long as they play by the rules, of course.

He must be a mixture of elated and disappointed every week.

I think either Bojo of Hunt will be a disaster. Boris is a clown and with him as PM we shall be subjected to daily embarrassments of Trump-style errors of judgement.

But Hunt… What can you say? 

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Up till now, he has had almost nothing to do with Scotland. As Culture Secretary his remit was largely English and as English Health Secretary, he, very, fortunately, had no influence on our health service. But if he becomes prime minister… 

Oh dear, the thought is too much to bear.

I actually find myself actually physically repelled by him.

Which of the two would Munguinites prefer?

 

And now there are two…

“Any suggestions about how I tell the wife that she’s not going to be Prime Ministress?”

ruth boris

As predicted after we heard that the Rt Hon Colonel had transferred her favours to Gove,  Hunt will be the other contestant in the finals of the amateur league tiddlywinks competition currently happening in London.

Gove got 75 MPs – just two votes short of Hunt’s 77.

Mr Johnson, considered the favourite in the race, was backed by 160 Conservative MPs, so more than half.

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So presumably our Ruth will offer her vote to Jeremy. Which means of course that Boris will be tiddlywink champion for the next 6 months. But fear ye not, Ruthie will simply change allegiance as she thinks fit in order to best serve her ambitions.

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“You turn to the right, Boris and I’ll just wait here till that bus runs you over.  By the way, anyone know where my wife comes from?”

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SO, HOW ARE THE POTENTIAL “LEADERS” (SNIGGER) GETTING ON AS WE APPROACH THE SECOND CONTEST?

Maybe if you were the prime minister, Mikey, you could get a better camera, and just a wee word of advice…maybe don’t do the taping in a sauna next time.

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Boris, it seems, dislikes Scots as much as Scots regard him with suspicion. Although using Gordon “North British” Brown as an example was an unfortunate choice.

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And Rory the Tory has promised to set up a Department for the Union, with its secretary of state being his deputy, the First Secretary, no less!

Apparently, it will deal with all the “regions” and have a multi-billion pound budget… and, of course, it will bring us all together again after Brexit.

Oh, you have to laugh, but then Munguin has more of a chance of becoming prime minister than he does so I reckon we can dismiss that idea.

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Le Royaume-Uni est déjà effacé, quel que soit le futur Premier ministre

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hunt

Hmmm. There might have been a more tactful way to put this. I mean it does sound, at first read, like an instruction. Do it and do it now!

With the lowest pension in the developed world, pensioners choosing between heating and eating and being about to be hit with a bill of £155 a year in a tv tax, your lot are hardly showing willing, and given that, until recently it was your area of responsibility in England, I have VERY little confidence in your ability to manage it.

As usual, Britain completely neglected to plan for the future. In this case for a surge in people ageing… It’s almost as if they hadn’t had 70+ years’ notice that that was going to happen.

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And, does that include standing up before running away with all the EU money which was intended for Scottish farmers, and depositing it in the bank accounts of English Farmers?

Still, that probably IS working for Scotland in your book.

Pinneys, eh?

And why do all you people keep on talking about “our” United Kingdom?  It’s about as united as an undone jigsaw that’s lost 50% of its pieces.  Has some focus group told you that if you repeat it over and over, this unity will eventually percolate into our thick “ordinary people” heads?

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Because, a bit like standing with your legs open to make you look powerful, it doesn’t work. (Actually, that makes you look like you wet your pants!)

Seriously, it either gets on our nerves or makes us laugh like drains.

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Obviously, this one renders us silly with laughter.

In the aftermath of Brexit, the country is divided as never before… and I can’t see that using the phrase “our united kingdom” (or the other one we hear ad nauseam, “our precious union”) is going to change any of that.

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The Tories are divided; Labour is divided; young and old are divided; the countries of the union are divided. Almost everything about this godforsaken place is divided, and you using stupid phrases at every turn only makes it worse.

Give it up.

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LOL. Good old Ken Clarke…

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RANDOM THOUGHTS

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I’ve said it before and I’ll keep on saying it. The only time the British government gives a thought to old soldiers is when they can make some sort of a spectacle out of it, preferably with the royal family to give it some supposed gravitas. The rest of the time the message from them is, “get stuffed”.

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Nicola Sturgeon denied Foreign Office support during Brussels trip

Jeremy H*unt, now the second favourite (behind BoJo) to follow Mayhem at the head of the London government, has played once again to his audience of elderly English Tory Party members by refusing Nicola Sturgeon Foreign Office support on her visit today to Brussels.

“I say old chap, that will show those damned Jockanese a thing or two, what what!” you can imagine “Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells” saying to his dear lady wife. ( I’ve no idea why these people refer to their spouses as “lady wives”. I don’t imagine any of them have gentlemen wives… much too late 20th century!) 

Trade with other countries is part of the remit of the First Minister, as is looking after the interests of Scotland everywhere in the world. We tried to point this out to the unionists when Nicola was slammed by the Scottish Branch Office Tories earlier this year for flying to the USA and Canada.

It also falls into the remit of the Scotland Secretary of the Westminster administration, but, seriously, can you imagine Fluffy jetting off to Europe to fight Scotland’s corner. 

Right then! Nor me.

Nicola is doing her day job by talking to the EU.

Somewhat amazingly, having been granted a third extension to Article 50, the Tory party, on the other hand, has decided to waste most of the time having an internal war, summer holidays and possibly a general election.

I expect they learned that kind of thing in the dorms at Eton. Pillow fights at midnight!

But tick tock… and nothing is happening, except that a pile of rather posh men, one posh woman… and Esther are knocking bits off each other.

Meanwhile, Nicola is getting on with the day job. And she is being refused FO backup.

This, I imagine, will not faze Nicola one little bit. She’s a pretty bright spark herself and she will have her own advisors including Mike Russell, her Brexit secretary who, unlike the succession of Tory Brexit ministers, actually seems to have a grasp of the remit.

Anyway, who’d want foreign office advice, when the best they could offer their own foreign secretary on a visit to Slovenia was a speech where he talked about Slovakia.

Incompetent muppets.

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Oh yeah, does anyone know who the hell Mark Harper is?

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AND THEY’RE OFF…

YOU CAN SMELL THEM FROM HERE

Munguin takes an irreverent look at the utter farce that is the Tory Party Leadership Race. 

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One of them is Dom and the other one was a talented man.

According to Craig Murray, it was Dominic Raab’s team that sneaked out news about the bin-raking House Elf and his cocaine sniffing ways. As he says: “Incredible that this process is choosing the UK’s next Prime Minister. It’s like watching rats fighting in a sewer – only the Tory battle stinks much worse”.

Indeed it does, Craig.

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Rory, seriously… don’t, just don’t.

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Jeremy Hunt launching his campaign for the Tory leadership on Monday morning

Journalist: So, Mr Hunt, have you ever broken the law?

Hunt (grinning inanely): I wracking my brains, but, no, I think not.

Five hours later…

Hunt’s Spokesman:  Erm, see that thing earlier about breaking the law. Well, Jeremy was right, apart from last year when he breached anti-money laundering laws brought in while he was in the cabinet…

Oh well, his crime-free past was good while it lasted! Maybe he was on something when he forgot to declare all that stuff.

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Rank (and I do mean rank) outsider in the race, the terminally silly Esther McVey, was dealt a bit of a blow this morning.

And Victoria Derbyshire does a James Naughtie with Hunt’s name…

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And Boris has proved that he knows his target audience: the well-off elderly “Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells” types who are paid-up members of the Tory Party. To buy their votes, he’s promising a massive £10 billion a year tax cut to the better off, to be paid for by the Brexit Bonus (huh?) and an increase in National Insurance contributions on the less well off. Well, we can’t all be winners!

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And I’ve saved the best till last. The idiots’ idiot.

He seems to forget that for a little while at least (well, no one lasted long in that government), Dom was the Brexit secretary, responsible for getting himself and his “country” humiliated by the EU.

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WELL, YOU CAN’T EVER SAY THAT THEY AREN’T ENTERTAINING

I listened to the news at 5 pm, and it seems that, for Mrs May, the ba’s on the slates and the game’s a bogey, etc, etc.

She, at that time, had locked herself in the cellar in Downing Street with, according to some correspondent on the BBC, the sofa against the door. “I Vant to be alone”.

She had refused interviews to both the Home Secretary and the Foreign Secretary.

Paul Brand
@PaulBrandITV
BREAKING: David Mundell has asked for an urgent meeting with the PM this afternoon following her statement to MPs. He is not acting in coordination with other cabinet ministers but the expectation is that this is going to be a conversation about her future.
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Wind forward three hours and I glanced at Twitter to see that David Mundell is furious with her (Oh Nooooo!!!!) and has demanded an audience. I was thinking that, whatever you think about Hunt and Javid, at least they hold reasonable senior and important positions in the Cabinet… the so-called great offices of state. So, unless Mrs May is in need of a refreshing cup of tea, or indeed she has run out of digestives, I’m thinking that it is highly unlikely that wee Fluffy has a hope in hell.

What, you may ask, is the wee soul angry about…?

Robert Peston
@Peston
I am told the reason 

is furious with the PM and has asked to see her is that her apparent openness to another Brexit referendum is seen by him as a betrayal, because it would open the door to and legitimise another referendum on Scottish independence.

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So, no matter how many votes the MPs can have on her wretched agreement only a few weeks apart and often with only two or three words being changed, there is NO WAY Scotland is getting to have a referendum 6 years after the first one, no matter how drastically the circumstances and voting population have changed.

But, my money is on Peston being wrong.

Probably Fluffs just wants to know if the Maybot has any idea about how many sugars Boris takes in coffee.

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OK, Munguinites! Who’s the next prime minister?

Random Thoughts

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And the unionists (in particular Alex Cole-Hamthingy) are in a fankle about there being some snagging work on our bridge? Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if secretly they are hoping that it falls down so they can blame the ensuing mess on the SNP. Poor excuses for opposition.

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Well, Lavery, I’d not use rat poison to get rid of us, if I were you. If we poison all the rats what you Britnats eat post Brexit?
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Sounds like the Brits on Europe.

Good Lord, Jeremy Hunt, May’s Foreign Secretary, has been talking about our “shared values” with Saudi Arabia, a mediaeval dictatorship that stones people to death for minor infractions of their legal code, which is entirely based on their rather weird interpretation of the Qur’an.

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I know he was stupid and unsuitable for the job, but for heaven’s sake.

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!!!telt
Telt!

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And he’s a bloody Cabinet Minister. He’s the Brexit Secretary that doesn’t have responsibility for Brexit, presumably because he’s too thick.

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Edward the arse

I see the Saxe Coburgs are in the news today wasting another few million of our money on a personal affair (some minor princess who’s never done a hand’s turn for the country in her puff is hardly a state occasion)

So, just to reassure them that we are thinking of them, here’s a picture of the supremely useless tosser, Edward, beating a dog. Presumably because it’s about the level of his capabilities.

We should remember when we are spending so much money on their family weddings, just how enduring most of them are… Margaret, Charlie, Andy, Anne…  then maybe we could get the dosh paid back when they split up?

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