MAKES YOU PROUD TO BE BRITISH (SHUDDER)

I’m indebted to Grafter, who sent this documentary as part of the last post.

I knew the City was corrupt and that Britain was a sham of a decent Western democracy. I just don’t think I knew by how much.

I’m reminded of the time that Cameron, hosting a conference on corruption (being something of an expert, I have no doubt given the revelations in the Panama Papers), said something to the Queen (also mentioned in those papers), the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Speaker about Nigeria and Afghanistan being the most corrupt nations in the world.

If I remember rightly the Archbishop did pull him up about the fact that he was out of date (what else would you expect from an airhead like Cameron?) and that the current president was anti-corruption.

Image result for cameron accuses nigeria of being corrupt

And the Nigerian president replied that he didn’t want an apology. but he would appreciate it if perhaps all the money being stolen from his country by corruption and invested in London might be intercepted and returned by the  British authorities.

Of course, as Britain is also a fabulously corrupt country, Cameron had no reply and I shouldn’t think for a moment that that ever happened.

From the office of the prime minister of the UNITED kingdom of England and its lesser possessions and territories

eaaaaa

Dear Nikolas,

We were very tolerant towards your lesser self in the early stages of our taking over the top job at the centre of the Empire at No 10 Downing Street, London ENGLAND. We think we may even have done you the honour of visiting you in your bedsit at Bute Cottage in Aberburgh, although, of course, we do not recall.

However, following our tremendous and spectacular General Election victory,  and now that we have grown in stature in our position as triumphant leader of OUR United Kingdom and become close to world statesmen such as Mr Netenyahu and Mr Erdogan, not to mention HRH Excellency Trump and His Majesty King Salman, we feel that further discussion with a junior minister of a mere district would be inappropriate. Besides which, as I am now busily (and successfully) engaged in a red, white and blue Brexit, which means Brexit (including for your district) so that Britain can take back control of everything from the foreigners who are out to get us British people, I’m simply too busy to be bothered with inferiors.

It has been decided, therefore, that if you have anything that you wish to discuss with your superiors here at Empire Central, in our great capital city of London, you should address those matters with the Rt Hon David Mud… Mund… well, you know who I mean, and of course, if you can find her (she seems to have gone walkabout since Ms Arlene and I struck up a friendship) the Rt Hon and Gallant Lady, Colonel Davidson. Alternatively, you may try to approach the Noble Lord Duncan in his Baronial Castle, although I understand that he doesn’t much like commoners. A curtsey is appropriate.

You will not, any longer, be allowed to address yourself directly to us personally, and we intend to instruct the queen that she is no longer to grant you an audience, but must hold herself always in readiness for any occasion on which we wish to have a photo-opportunity with her, or get her to open our parliament.

Do not let any of that make you feel any less important than you already are.

Rule Britannia. God save the Queen and Theresa May

a££

Her Britannic Empr ,  sorry, Prime Ministerialness

Signed per pro

in her absence.

(Note to Cabinet Secretary: Send same sort of thing to that Welsh blokey, and the people in IOM, Channel Islands, and Gibraltar, Falklands and the rest of my empire. DO NOT ON ANY ACCOUNT SEND TO BELFAST on pain of death.)