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WHY did Shakespeare write only in ink?
Pencils confused him – 2B or not 2B.
The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it. – Doris Day
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“Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.”
“Name me three Qatar players.”
“Easy. Eric Clapton, George Harrison and Jimmi Hendrix.”
A limerick now by Thomas Thornely in which he reflects on the unthinkable cash motive behind art:
A Painter encumbered with cash
Said: ‘It’s time to be making a splash.
I can paint, if I care,
Things to startle and scare,
Though I’m fully aware they are trash.’
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13. What’s a salary? Something that comes like a tortoise and runs off like a rabbit.
14. Duh.
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Don’t marry for money – a bank loan is cheaper.
Why was Cinderella dropped from the women’s rugby team? She kept running away from the ball.
Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand. – Putt’s Law
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THIS contortionist went bankrupt. He couldn’t make ends meet.
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Munguin’s sincere thanks to: AndiMac, Brenda, Brendan, Erik, John and Graham.
MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Thought you might think this was good for a laugh….😂😂😂😂😂
Trumps running mate as VP is John Fitzgerald Kennedy Jnr.
As I said its for 2023, not 2024. 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
Oh but he died in a plane crash….nope. Faked his own death.
Are your heads exploding yet? 🤯
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Oh hahahaha, some really funny ones. And of course I’m delighted with the return of Ginger and Tiddles and it looks like I just missed them since I “was here”:-)
I wonder if Quatar has lots of cats?
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🙂
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One fewer since Luftwaffe Rob brought his 17-year0ld Genie to Srem when he was grounded from cockpir duty by Qatar Airways after a mini stroke. She’s now back in the Gulf again – Ras al Khaimah in the UAE, woth Rob having started a new job in Dubai as a flight-simulator training manager. That’s quite a few airmiles to her credit.
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High flyer of a cat, huh?
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If you want a good laugh Rishi Sunak issued a tweet supporting Ukraine which said –
“We believe in freedom”!*
*Except for viewers in Scotland. Or indeed Wales…
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LOL.
We believe in whatever gets us elected.
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Good selection this week. The old woman tale is quite amusing.
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Yeah, crafty old man, huh?
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The rich synic one with the nurses pay deal is so on the lack of money.
The mantra is now, ‘again’, there’s no money left but the media fail to report. Maybe it isn’t a labour minister saying it.
Amazon report that they will have to pay an extra £29m in business rates next year, they’ve been given the bank account details of baroness moan, she needs it to top up the trust fund.
Think about it, why bother them when £29m isn’t worth the bother recovering.
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It’s a dreadful admission though, from a country that prides itself in punching above its weight, being world beating and basically better than everyone else..
He’s actually saying that Britain is broke.
I can’t help thinking that this is a prelude to the privatisation of the NHS.
And I read that the Times Report says that the government in thinking of charging people to visit their GPs, and the sum of £50 per visit has been quoted!
On top of all the other misery that their mismanagement has caused, imagine having a sick kid and not being able to afford to take it to the doctor.
High time that royals paid tax on their massive inheritance.
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https://t.co/DeVtMvHnX2
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Thanks for the laughs Tris, always very welcome in this mad humans lost the plot world. Trickle down effect must be one of the biggest cons of the centuries, and there are lots of cons, scamming the people.
Have a good Monday all, I wonder what delights this week will bring in broken broke Britain.
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Hope you’re feeling a bit better, Hetty.
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Thanks Tris, feeling better, recovery seems slow however. Not sure I can bear getting on a bus to go visit my old friend in the care home right now but when I do I’ll be wearing two masks. Have a good weekend. 🙂
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Take it easy, Hetty. It can take it out of you. Take your time to get better. Just a little exercise every day and lots of rest.
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From the Times of London’s front page.
That too wee, too poor and too stupid country’s leader will destroy the WORLD with her gender change legislation.
Letting asylum seekers with diptheria to move out of Manston without treatment doesn’t make a headline.
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Nah… the NHS has nothing better to do with itself, so some diphtheria cases will fill in the time that staff sit around doing nothing…
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Thanks for the correct spelling of Diphtheria.
Seems we are saved.
After 4 weeks of the rich cynic we have another pm.
Somebody by the name of sunak is launching his new premiership to quiet down the tory rebellions on energy, asylum seekers and unions trying to cause maximum disruption.
I’m thinking that oor Nicola is the media target, spending taxpaper cash illegally.
Now problem for lies to parliament for the mad nad.
Where did the £37 billion go?
The great Japan deal negotiated by lizzie appears to reduced trade.
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Goodness me. Truss has made a mess of it… what a surprise.
Sunak is so weak. At the mere hint of rebellion, he folds his tent.
What a leader!
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Don’t know about the cats, but I know there are 10 guitars
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I’d forgotten about him.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engelbert_Humperdinck_(singer)
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Yesterday I heard an interview on BBC radio with someone (didn’t know who at first) discussing Keir Starmer’s chances of winning the next election and what he and Labour should do to convince the UK electorate to vote for them. (Good question, you might say given no one knows.) Anyhow, the interviewer moved on to the House of Lords question. Would Starmer really abolish it? It was then that the interviewer pointedly added, ‘LORD Mandelson’, so that was who the other person was. Guess what? He laughed and hummed and hawed and waffled about. There’s your Labour answer from an actual Labour peer.
I like the cartoon with the stag because today in the hills I saw a number of foreign registered vehicles all geared up to kill animals. Two of the occupants were wandering on the public highway with rifles and I had to drive right by them. That’s not the first time in recent years! This is not the wild west and they should be told to keep well away from public thoroughfares. The landowners have a duty of care to the rest of us and non residents should be told in no uncertain terms or threatened with police action. I was once approached by a local gamekeeper and advised not to walk on the public road with my dog as there were men on the hills and although they do try to keep them well away from the public, there’s always the danger of a stray bullet from an over zealous idiot. Charming. I certainly would not venture on to the hills just now, but the road is ours! I hate the whole business of animal killing being called ‘sport’. What sort of mentality is that?
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I loathe it too, and anyone who does it.
I make no excuses for being delighted when a huntsman falls off his horse, or someone out shooting game in Africa is attacked by other game… whit’s guid tae gie…
Like you, I think that if people are going to do that in Scotland it must be a long way from where other decent people might be.
Stray bullets hitting dogs is a frightening prospect … and they could equally hit people.
It’s not unknown for them to hit other shooters… not a loss… but it could equally be some innocent out in their car, or out for a walk.
And these people often have hip flasks to keep them warm while they go on their murderous spree. Drunk in charge of a gun.
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killing birds and animals for recreation is abhorrent to me, I follow this group who work hard for our wildlife.
https://wildjustice.org.uk/
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Just joined, Alex. Thanks for the tip.
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Isn’t it heart warming that the network will NOT trigger power cuts tomorrow evening.
Looking like it could happen tonight as it’s clear skies and No wind here, grid load high, lots of cat litter and coal being burnt and 2 nuclear stations off load.The open cycle gas turbines in use all day.
Thankfully the governor general, soon to be baron jack, says that he won’t let Nicola use the next general election as a referendum, aye right.
Was thinking that Wales and Scotland should have a vote to eject englandland from the union two votes to one, The North of Ireland doesn’t get a vote as sammy wilson says no to votes he can’t win.
Another version of democracy, see Quebec says the Supreme Court was wrong about the Quebec position as it is part of a federation.
Reports it as a unionist stitchup.
If reed is the best we have he’s in the wrong job.
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What a bloody mess in World Beating Britain.
It’s odd that his Nobleness won’t let Nicola use the general election as an indicator of Scottish sentiment over the union. After all his lightweight boss,the branch overseer used the last one in that way.
“A vote for the SNP is a vote for a referendum”
Funny how THEY can use it that way, but we can’t. Although, obviously, now that Union Jack Boots is an aristocrat, there’s probably nothing he can’t do.
Better not upset Sammy.
He always looks to me as if he’s on the verge of a heart attack
https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/59834c80e87e245478210c91b446f8cece2cc126/0_38_4000_2400/master/4000.jpg?width=1200&height=1200&quality=85&auto=format&fit=crop&s=57186ea950d1f71d8d776fdfec1c71d4
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More from the times of London
‘I interviewed baroness moan’, she’s an angel compared to the other residents of the house of lords.
The health secretary is offering the nurses free tea, coffee and parking to agree to a pay deal lower than inflation.
Bet he charges for the boiling of the water and only gives a free hours parking.
The civil servants in Scotland are to be reminded they work for westmonster and not the Scots that pay their wages.
The rabb has been at the private jet hire, at our cost.
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I think the interviewer went on to say that Moan was a ridiculous woman with air for brains (or words to that effect). The version I was was too small to read properly!
Is that the English health secretary, whose name escapes me, that’s offering that?
You’d have thought that: a) after the pandemic that had all these people clapping nurses on their doorsteps, and b) given that Britain is a world-beating country, they could have afforded to give them a cost of living rise. But no. I’m beginning to doubt them when they tell us that Britain is world-beating.
I’m also beginning to wonder if we indeed have the greatest devolution in the world ever…
I see they are threatening to sue Nicola Sturgeon for the money she has already spent on referendum preparation.
Go on, lads, you get stuck into that. And see what happens.
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*What was it about this weeping tower of crystal-encrusted Glaswegian cray that made David Cameron think in 2015, oooh, let’s put it in the House of Lords?*
I’d suggest it might be some of the photographs she had on the net of her in her under garments…
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Freash blood required, anything will do.
Seems the rich cynic has a few rebel groups in awkward mode.
Housing
On shore wind
Foreign aid
Brexit
Asylum costs.
Even the nutters complaining about the great medical attention the Manston residents are getting. Housed in tents withminimal heating.
Looked at the grid tonight, our European Friends selling electricity to keep it on.
Just realised that the Tuesday announcement is about the football.
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It’s all falling apart. Can anyone see them lasting another 2 years?
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Starmer gets awarded the uk politician of the year, well well.
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So that’s Scotland for Anas and Britain for Sir Keir.
They must be thinking that things are looking up.
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Isn’t being awarded Politician of the Year just like being nominated Self-serving F***wit of the Year? Mind you, there are other accolades, such as Prime Minister of the Month.
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Yes, it’s pretty much the same thing.
And regardless of performance, it does the rounds.
They tell me that one day maybe even Alex Hamilton Goal will get it.
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Just what we needed, a chortle or two.
Another very topical cartoon from Andi
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