HURRAH, IT’S BACK TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS: YES, WE HAVE NO BANANAS, IN WHATEVER MEASURE

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No wonder Munguin looks confused.

The Rt Hon. the Noble Baron Frost, one of our betters so we are told, has decided that the use of filthy foreign measures for our fruit and vegetables… and everything else… is to cease, and we will return to the good old fashioned British way of counting things we don’t have.

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Also, water will be sold in pints, not these disgusting litre things that foreigners use. It will taste much much better, even though it will be quite rare because everyone will be buying it up in quantities unknown when there was a touch of foreign about it.

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But if what you were looking for is out of stock, put a great british smile on your face and look for alternatives. Your raging thirst may not be assuaged, but if there are no pints of water, you can always buy a ball of string, 10ft of it (that’s 120 inches and not 3.048 meters). Think of what you can do with good British string.

Ball of string Stock Photo by ©gemphoto 9149064

Remember, the Brits are clever people so the complexities of the imperial systems of measure will come easily to them, unlike dim foreign people who need there to be 100 of everything in everything.

Munguin’s handy guide to what you need to know:

Gallon = 8 pints
Quart = 2 pints
Pint = 4 gills
Pint = 20 fl oz.

That’s just a taster.

There’s distance to learn, and there’s weights, and every single thing is different. All this 100s nonsense will be a thing of the past.

Chart: Only Three Countries in the World (Officially) Still Use the Imperial  System | Statista
Soon, there will be no more of this mixing stuff.

How exciting it will be to have furlongs and poles ( not the European type)

Maybe shortly gentlemen will be wearing powdered wigs and ladies will be be in crinoline and we will go back to the good old days of 4 farthings to a penny, 12 pennies to a shilling, 20 shillings to a pound… and posh people will use guineas.

8 Fashions From the Past With No Future | The Saturday Evening Post

One note of caution though, the Noble Baron is known for coming up with plans which he and his boss consider to be over ready and absolutely fool proof, only to find them utterly ridiculous and unworkable only a few weeks later. Munguin, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Lord Frost NI protocol.

Northern Ireland Protocol blasted as 'totally disproportionate' by Arlene  Foster - The Irish News
Loyalists stage further NI protocol protests in Belfast and Newtownabbey -  BelfastTelegraph.co.uk

(Munguin thanks Derek for his Sainsbury’s nonsense photos. Methinks Lord Sainsbury is a Brexiteer.)

78 thoughts on “HURRAH, IT’S BACK TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS: YES, WE HAVE NO BANANAS, IN WHATEVER MEASURE”

  1. An imperial gallon has eight pints of 20 fluid ounces. An American gallon also has eight pints of 16 fluid ounces.
    The American gallon is used in the US , some central American countries, some Caribbean lslands as well as Liberia and some countries in North Western South America.
    The Imperial gallon is used in the UK and a few other Caribbean islands.

    It makes you proud to an Anglo Brit.
    Gwyn

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Imperial Gallons are, of course, the only PROPR gallons.

      Other Gallons are mere imposters… almost as ghastly and foreign as …. ugh… litres….

      🙂 🙂 🙂

      Like

    2. tris, as you know, I live in Germany.

      It never ceases to amaze me how many things here are measured in inches.

      TV screens, bicycle wheels, tires (or should that be tyres?).

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Really? I don’t remember anything in France being measured in inches. Maybe I didn’t notice as it wasn’t that important.

        I suppose as America uses inches, there is bound to be an internationalism about it.

        Like

        1. tris, I bet you a quarter of mint imperials (pan drops) that TV screens and computer monitors in France are measured in inches.

          And in many other places as well (everywhere, in fact).

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Very possibly, DonDon. As I said I’ve never thought about measuring the size of the screen on anything.

            Anyway, new global britain will soon spread their measurements everywhere, so Finland, get ready to buy gallons of petrol, and half pounds of cheese. (Because remember, according to Liz Truss we make more cheese than the French.)

            Like

      2. Here in Spain tyres are measured in inches, I know this as we were looking at cars yesterday and discussed the wheel size choices with the salesman.
        I also think tvs are in inches too, but couldn’t swear on it. When in Carrefour next week I’ll have a look out of curiosity.
        Up early this morning as massive and extremely noisy grape picker arrived to pick the grapes next to our house, and woke us up. They like to pick the grapes in the dark. Spooks the cats and sets the dogs barking! Whoever said the countryside was peaceful hadn’t lived in Spain 🤣🤣

        Liked by 1 person

    3. I knew that the American Gallon is smaller than the Imperial Gallon, but I had no idea that the Imperial Pint had more Fluid Ounces in it than the American Pint.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Having just returned from a jolly game of hunt the groceries at Tescos, I must say my despondency instantly lifted on hearing this wonderful news.

    I can only hope that they also do away with these cumbersome millimetres and get us back to good old inches even though I converted to metric in my head years ago and use it 63/64ths of the time.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. LOL.

      It’s going to be so much more interesting to not be able to buy a pound of apples instead of the dreary old not being able to buy a half kilo of apples.

      All this AND blue passports. With this Brexit you are spoiling us…

      Mind you, with that £350m, or didn’t it become £600 m a week, for the health services, you’d have though we could have found some ambulances.

      Still, I’m sure Rishi is just holding it back till Xmas, seeing as there won’t be any turkeys.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. We’re going to sell things in pounds and ounces, yards, feet and furlongs, pints and quarts… just as soon as we have anything to sell that isn’t sewerage… or that any of the plebs can actually afford to buy.

        Like

  3. They tried to turn me metric
    but I didn’t budge an inch:
    beset by metre and kilo,
    I do not even flinch.
    Let foreigners keep their hectares –
    I can only smile.
    If they had to use our system,
    they would run a bloody mile!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. The American Gallon is smaller than the Imperial gallon.
    The American inch is smaller than the Imperial inch.
    Yes lets have chains and furlongs.
    Pickle and a perch.
    Interesting fact is that an American Quart is the same volume as a Litre.
    I’ll go and lie down now.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Well, personally, I’m looking forward to kids being asked to do sums like :-
    Divide £3 -17-10 by 4 , because I remember the torture, well!!
    I will gloat over my childrens’ and grandchildrens’ discomfiture !! Bring it on…..

    ps I think the answer is nineteen shillings and five and a half pence?

    Like

  6. It may interest you that, in their first days in their new positions, both Dominic Raab and Liz Truss have claimed Chevening, the country resident with 115 rooms, lake, tennis court, parterre, maze and extensive woodlands.

    At a time when there is so much that needs dealing with, it’s good to know the cabinet members have their priorities right.

    Chevening traditionally goes to foreign secretary, but Nick Clegg shared it with William Hague when he was DPM.

    After all, deputy prime ministers must have a country estate, what what…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think he avoided the harder part of the course when you get, florins, half crowns and crowns. IIRC there are two half crowns in a crown – well that is at least logical, and a crown is worth five bob and 20 bob equal a pound. Or four crowns equal a pound.

      I imagine it will be of enormous benefit to street traders around Carnaby Street. ” No, mate, you owe me a pound. That’s four crowns and two ten bob notes. Honest guv.”

      Liked by 1 person

        1. The florin – the two-bob bit – was introduced in the 1890s as a first step towards decimalization.

          It was of course one tenth of a pound.

          Decimalization was a long time in the planning.

          Liked by 2 people

          1. Well, it takes the Brits a long time to do anything.

            In France they are celebrating 40 years of high speed trains and in England they are trying, after 10 plus years, to work out the route for a 100 miles or so of high speed track which won’t even be high speed after it’s gone round all the corners to miss rich people’s lands.

            Slow but sure (ish) In 100 years time they’ll get it built.

            Liked by 3 people

    1. I always liked the Wren on the farthing. I seem to remember getting sent out for ‘messages’ with perhaps a couple of sixpences and a thruppence. And giving back the correct change was ‘important’! Probably to the last farthing!

      But that is just nostalgia speak.

      —————–

      I’ll be remembering next being offered to buy a Jaguar XK 150 ( or 140, I forget which) for £250 and not being able to afford it.

      You lose some and then you really lose some.

      (There were other issues, admittedly.)

      ——————

      It’s what that damn Imperial system camouflages, especially ‘possible profit’ against ‘potential loss’. And a lot of potential answers from distinctly different divisors, for instance 1/ 960, 1/480, 1/240, 1/80, 1/40, there are probably others.

      I am not saying that the decimal system is any better at a functional level, but at least the units are aligned.

      Buyer beware.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. if it is being brought in by the Johnson government I imagine that there are two aspects to it.

        Firstly it will make theirr Brexit fanatic voters very very happy. Never mind that everything is falling down, they can buy a pound of apples…well, if they can find any.

        And secondly, there is going to be a wonder profit for some people as they put prices up and confuse the idiots.

        I’d like any coin if it had a wren on it.

        We saw some in the hedges in a tiny village outside Dundee. They are absolutely lovely wee things.

        So bring back farthings, I say.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Nostalgia they say isn’t what it used to be!
          A few months ago I was have a “good ol’ days” natter wi ma mither and she started banging on about HALF Farthings!
          I must have rolled my eyes somewhat because the next thing I knew she was up and off, left the room only to come back minutes later clutching…you guessed it…a half farthing!

          Liked by 3 people

          1. I raise my hat to your mum.

            Was a half farthing known as anything as sensible as a half farthing. And where do we go, in a downward direction, from there?

            I could imagine the entitety of primary education requiring to be devoted to this nonsense!

            Liked by 2 people

        2. I saw an add from Spink and Son (London rare coin dealer) offering the first farthings. The first (and only) English coins in Anglo-Saxon times were small silver pennies (1/240 of one pound sterling,) and if you wanted something smaller, you cut it up.

          Two ha’pennies and two feorthings (or fourthlings)……the first farthings:

          Liked by 3 people

  7. Saw a report mid week that pennies were being minted again.
    Don’t know why as in Australia the smallest coin is the five cent, the cost of minting the cent was more than it’s face value.
    I remember going to a local plumber to buy blanking plugs when I took out a washing machine and wanted to seal the outlet.
    He told me he had them but they were 10p each, have you any pennies in your pocket?, they’re the correct diameter and that’s what is used.
    Inflation got rid of the half farthing, the farthing and will do for the penny.

    Energy prices will be so high that we will need a mortgage to heat ourselves if there’s a cold winter.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. A plane crash in Canada resulted in multiple deaths because of confusion over gallons and litres being used to fill up their tanks.
    Everything England’s Tories are doing will result in the needles deaths of many people.
    But,what the hey,Rule Britannia,Tories rule the waves.
    Their present program of “reform” may appeal to the brain dead and those who seek to profit from that but to people who can see what they are really up to,it is absolutely paramount that we separate ourselves from their insanity.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I can’t help thinking its a sop to the hard of thinking…

      You know… there’s a shortage of food, and medicine and blood sample bottles, but look, pint glasses with a crown on them, and blue passports even if they don’t look like the old passports that you used to have… THEY ARE BLUE, morons. Rejoice at that news.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I had a really entertaining chat with a Danish woman who was on the customs post for the ferry from Denmark to Germany. She said, “At least you’ll have your blue passports now.” and I replied to the effect that they weren’t the shade of blue that I was after. The tone of the conversation totally changed.

        Liked by 3 people

  9. But when you think it’s cold during the winter the flounder will be able to say he’s doubled the temperature, degrees F are always bigger after minus 40.
    The ppe people will be ordering Bermuda shorts and sun tan lotion to fill the supermarket shelves.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. There’s sort of a stealth metrication going on in America. Due to packaging for world trade, things are often sold in standard metric sizes, labeled with the oddball (uneven) American unit equivalents also shown. (One or the other may be shown in parenthesis.)

    A popular size of bottled soda used to be sold in pints (16 fl oz.) Now Pepsi-Cola is labelled as:

    16.9 Fl Oz
    (1.05 Pint)
    (500 ml)

    So the standard size is 500 ml, which is sometimes shown on top with 16.9 Fl Oz sometimes shown below it in parenthesis.

    Traditionally, booze (distilled spirits) were sold in America in Fifths and Quarts. Today, the bottles look the same, but if you read the labels, you’re actually buying 750ml or l Liter.

    Wiki explains that 750ml is sometimes called a “metric fifth”:

    “A fifth is a unit of volume formerly used for wine and distilled beverages in the United States, equal to one fifth of a US liquid gallon,or 25 3⁄5 US fluid ounces (757 ml); it has been superseded by the metric bottle size of 750 ml, sometimes called a metric fifth, which is the standard capacity of wine bottles worldwide and is approximately 1% smaller.”

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Tris…….I can see the problem…..LOL.
        Apparently, there was a considerable preliminary movement toward metrication in the USA back in the 1970’s and 80’s. It never really caught on with people, so the commercial interests just started using metric sizes that are ALMOST the same as American measure equivalents, and then simply changing the labels that no one reads. We mostly went metric….at least for commercial packaging…… and just didn’t say anything about it.

        But there is no even number metric equivalent for the statute mile. So kilometres never caught on for distance, and we still have the 5,280 ft statute mile. (Litres in place of gallons at the gas (petrol) pump were never even tried. Again, litres and gallons are too far apart for people not to notice.)

        A friend of mine said that back in the 1970’s, he saw a road sign in California (where else?) showing distances in kilometres and speed limit in km/hr. But that REALLY didn’t catch on beyond (briefly) the borders of California.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Trust California to be different…even then.

          Geoffrey Howe was charged with decimalisation in the UK. (He was a big cheese in Thatcher’s government although I think in the end she sacked him).

          He did a half hearted job of it. Somethings were changed… some were not, so, for example, we still have miles on our road signs, and people talk about how many miles to the gallon they get in their cars, but we actually sell petrol in litres. (Maybe because if people stopped and though about how much petrol costs per gallon they’d have a fit.)

          Children learn metric at school (which saves a massive amount of time), but largely what we buy is in imperial.

          Milk is actually sold in 500ml, litres and 2 litre plastic jugs, but people still talk about buying a pint of milk.

          The famous English “pint of beer” was never messed with, but the Daily Express was ecstatic the other day when pint glasses (which have been in existence all the time) got a crown on them instead of a European mark.

          No one really knows what is what here.

          Howe admitted many years after, from the House of Lords, that he had made a mess of it and he should have pressed forward with proper changes.

          I imagine the reason he didn’t was that Tory voters are largely (although not exclusively) elderly. Many resist any kind of change… and the change of money at the beginning of the 70s had been a BIG thing for them.

          Liked by 3 people

          1. American weights and measures are a hybrid hodge podge. Grocery store shelves have lots of metric labels, and science and engineering are metric. But kitchen recipes for example are “US Customary Units” (from 1832), which generally followed “English units” that were in use in the British Empire in colonial times. But then later the UK adopted the Imperial System which further added to the confusion.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. No, Tris. Thatcher didn’t sack Geoffrey Howe. He resigned and his resignation speech in the Commons is widely regarded as sparking Thatcher’s downfall.

            Liked by 1 person

    1. The weirdest hybrid that I ever encountered was – when I was mechanic-ing for a Harley dealer – a brake banjo bolt that had a unified fine thread but also a 10mm multi-point head.

      Liked by 3 people

        1. Tris…..I had a great uncle who was stationed in North Africa in World War II. All during the war, an effort was made to ship familiar food and drink items to the troops from home. Hershey shipped tons of chocolate bars, and Coca-Cola sent lots of Coke to drink. Thing is, the Coca-Cola Company only makes Coke syrup, which is then purchased by bottlers who mix it with carbonated water when they bottle it for sale. My uncle said that Coke syrup mixed with plain water is pretty bad, especially when the water is warm from the desert heat.

          Liked by 2 people

          1. Yes, I bet it was, Danny.

            I’m not a Coke fan, but flat coke (that’s been left in a glass or with the bottle lid off/can open) is disgusting… if you add lukewarm to that, it must make you want to throw-up!

            Liked by 1 person

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