1. A special honour for Mr Hancock from Antarctica’s Lord Pengwin King at Flippers.2. Poor man.3. Poor man, indeed, your majestic magnificence.4. And you thought Hancock was the bottom of the barrel?5.6.7. Struth, the WHO are foreigners. What would they know about Pandemics, compared to say, Johnson or Hancock?8. Because, bless them, they are worth it and they have large bellies to fill, whereas hungry poor kids… pffff.9. Boris went to Eton and Oxford. Why would he want advice from plebeians?10.It’s all about size with the Brits, isn’t it?11.12.13.14.15.16.17.18.19.20. Near enough is good enough…eh?21.22.23.24.25.
Thanks, tris. I didn’t get them all — especially not the American ones, but #17 was within my scope of comprehension.
Thanks to Rene Magritte, and his sense of the surreal.
andimac, I don’t know how you do it, week after week.
I am cheered. Just what a person needs of a Monday morning, even if said person does not have to get up and struggle through the madding crowd to rejoin the daily grind.
I must make myself a cup of coffee, if I can overcome my all-consuming neurasthenia.
Tsk. Now I know what has been missing from my Monday morning, Tris!
A double espresso with sugar-free hazlenut syrup will set me right up. Funnily enough, I looked in my box of coffee pod sachet thingmies yesterday in great hope and expectation, but Somebody had polished off all the extra-strong ones. Bloody Kevin.
Few people are aware that the actor Yul Brynner was an avid Liverpool fan. Even fewer know that he was averse to male perfmery such as afte-shave or eau de toillette, perhaps to stay the same as his fellow fans at the Kop. But they were well aware of this gesture of solidarity.
That’s why they still sing: “Yul never wore cologne.”
No there’s nothing on his twitter account since the beginning of May. Therefore the extra funnies btl may be curtailed soon if I don’t find any elsewhere. Are you keeping the one I emailed you in reserve, pun intended?
Very good, fair cheered me up. I’m now ready to go out and clear a path through the midges. It’s still and quiet here, too still. Cue, angst/stress music.
I had a laugh yesterday listening to mellor talk about the ex minister hancock and how he had been very good at the job but foolish about the rush of blood to his brain.
This is the ex minister who was partial to undercooked toes, if my memory serves me well.
He is interviewed on LBC radio regularly to give his considered tory impression on current affairs, always reading from the party script, probably thinking of a recall to service to improve his bank balance, he’s already paid well by us by his pensions.
Will the new health secretary still be trading in derivatives that burst the banks, number one will be the sending children into schools to catch covid and take it home to granny and grandpa, that pension bill still needs reduction.
Wondering if the flounder backed the handcock so he could be next in line for a bit of fun.
Must be the easiest investigation yet of who released the video that we’ve only seen the wee advert for the rest, only a minute, have we missed the misuse of the ministerial desk?
What was the story about Mellor? Prostitutes and wearing Chelsea strip or something…
I’m sore Mr Hancock is already planning a new financial future for himself. I’m not sure any of them wait any amount of time before getting involved now, anyway, he still has his £80,000 a year plus to live on in the mean time.
Its a funny ol’ world…of all the incompetence, deceit and corruption it was a ( consensual) bit of slap & tickle that resulted in resignation.
It does mean that no one has admitted to all that incompetence, deceit and corruption and so its as if it never happened and with the slate wiped clean and the sleeze-o-meter reset to zero the next minister can be appointed to carry on with the good work enriching another group of friends, family and donors with preferment.
Agree with you on the sleaze meer.
I’ve now heard Three tory ex-ministers say he was a real talent in the party and he’l be back after a wee spell on the back benches.
Who?
Edwina Curry, David Mellor and the new health secretary Javid.
Edwina of the eggs and major, mellor of the undercooked toes and Chelsea stripper and javid the derivatives trader who says he’s got no experience of health industry.
See the defence minister has caught the bug on his trip on the aircraft carrier with borrowed aircraft.
Interesting statements from Marr and Philips over the weekend, Marr says he’s tested positive After his Two doses, what’s the surprise, the vaccine doesn’t stop the virus only limits how ill you get. Don’t these well educated fools get the message? The virus is alive and well in the community and busily producing new variants of itself, just like the rest of us.
Interesting radio clip last night from a WHO scientist, the latest variant has 99.7% common Rna with viruses that were worked on 35 years ago. Much like ourselves having 99% commonality with chimpanzees.
The scary thing about each new varient is that they are most contagious than the last and the vaccines are less effective against them.
I was told for a few weeks that I have 95% protection, but with the Delta varient, the one that is causing most of the new infections, I now understand that that has dropped and I’m now protected somewhere in the 60% range.
Let’s just hope that the next new varient is from a country with which Johnson doesn’t desperately (I’ll do anything) need to do a trade deal.
I see that some of Australia is going back into lockdown!
Handy Coincidence #3998
The revelation of Hancock’s love clinch with his publicly-funded appointee saves Johnson the inconvenience of having to make a decision on sacking the bumbling oaf so soon after the revelations from Cummings that Johnson thinks Hancock is “f*cking hopeless”. So, that’s handy.
Yes Tris
The same scientist said a single dose gives 50% protection against the Alpha and 80+ with a second.
Figures for the Delta are 30% and 50%.
No figures yet for the Delta+.
No wonder the flounder stopped short of release from lockdown, the vaccine manufacturers are modifying the vaccine as we speak.
Did you see the huge protest in London over the weekend, thousands without mask and no distancing, they were throwing tennis balls into Downing Street, no reported arrests.
A music get together got a visit from the polis, 50 arrests for breaking the rules, what?
Well, everyone seems to have given up on distancing and masks now.
For those of us who give a damn it makes everything much more difficult.
And at a time like this the useless government of useless idiots is even more useless. I don;t know, says a minister.
#KayBurley – What should happen if Matt Hancock hasn't declared his relationship with Gina Coladangelo?
Robert Buckland – I don't know#KayBurley – You can't just say I don't know.. taxpayers paying £15,000 so Hancock can have his mistress at the office is not acceptable? pic.twitter.com/iuZFOf8fic
As from last Saturday here in Spain we are now allowed to be outside without a mask as long as not in crowds/able to keep distance.
However the vast majority are still wearing masks here in our part of Spain anyway (Zafra, Extremadura – 12 cases atm, population approx 17,000). All ages. Still wearing masks. I am more than happy to wear for as long as it takes.
It’s quite frightening here. And it seems that no matter what happens, England is going to bow to the will of the anti-mask brigade which will make it even harder for anyone to insist on masks here.
James Dewar
@IndigoFast
·
36m
Flag of Scotland Scotland coronavirus:
New cases: 3,285
Positivity rate: 12.6% (+3.7) Warning sign
New tests: 27,226
In hospital ICU: 20 (+3)
Deaths: 0
Wonderful confidence from the new health minister, no need to go back from release on July.
Numbers of new cases, 22,000 and rising.
Now the propaganda, the Woolworth jabs, mix and match might give better protection.
We have real nutters in the government.
The big flounder is expecting a win in the Bye-Election as he was there today, much like the child with chocolate face who tells you they didn’t eat the chocolate he says he sacked handcock.
Hopefully someone doctors a picture with his face chocolate.
Hmmmm… maybe he’s auditioning for that Rand Paul thing, seeing as he’d never get on Love Island, except as someone’s great grandad… and he’s utterly ineligible for “I’m a Celebrity”, given that he isn’t, and only was briefly when he was involved in the Chelsea Strip thing.
MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 
Thanks, tris. I didn’t get them all — especially not the American ones, but #17 was within my scope of comprehension.
Thanks to Rene Magritte, and his sense of the surreal.
andimac, I don’t know how you do it, week after week.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All praise to the contributors… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very droll, Tris!
I am cheered. Just what a person needs of a Monday morning, even if said person does not have to get up and struggle through the madding crowd to rejoin the daily grind.
I must make myself a cup of coffee, if I can overcome my all-consuming neurasthenia.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Coffee, I find, is pretty much the answer to most ills, Ed.
LikeLike
Tsk. Now I know what has been missing from my Monday morning, Tris!
A double espresso with sugar-free hazlenut syrup will set me right up. Funnily enough, I looked in my box of coffee pod sachet thingmies yesterday in great hope and expectation, but Somebody had polished off all the extra-strong ones. Bloody Kevin.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I bet he’s hiding under the bed, Ed.
LikeLike
Seen elsewhere
“My husband has been missing for over a year and the police have told me to expect the worst…
So I’ve got his clothes back from the charity shop.”
“Despite the numerous failings at NHS England, it appears Matt Hancock wasn’t lying when he said he was hard at work…”
LikeLiked by 4 people
LOL LOL.
Still no sign of Jimmy, PP?
LikeLike
In Jimmy’s absence, here’s a small compensation…
Few people are aware that the actor Yul Brynner was an avid Liverpool fan. Even fewer know that he was averse to male perfmery such as afte-shave or eau de toillette, perhaps to stay the same as his fellow fans at the Kop. But they were well aware of this gesture of solidarity.
That’s why they still sing: “Yul never wore cologne.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
ARGH!
LikeLiked by 1 person
No there’s nothing on his twitter account since the beginning of May. Therefore the extra funnies btl may be curtailed soon if I don’t find any elsewhere. Are you keeping the one I emailed you in reserve, pun intended?
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL Yes
LikeLike
But actually, I think I’ll put it up here now:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E4ekH-GWUAQhFsp?format=jpg&name=900×900
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very good, fair cheered me up. I’m now ready to go out and clear a path through the midges. It’s still and quiet here, too still. Cue, angst/stress music.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You could take up pipe smoking. I hear they really dislike pipe smoke.
LikeLike
I had a laugh yesterday listening to mellor talk about the ex minister hancock and how he had been very good at the job but foolish about the rush of blood to his brain.
This is the ex minister who was partial to undercooked toes, if my memory serves me well.
He is interviewed on LBC radio regularly to give his considered tory impression on current affairs, always reading from the party script, probably thinking of a recall to service to improve his bank balance, he’s already paid well by us by his pensions.
Will the new health secretary still be trading in derivatives that burst the banks, number one will be the sending children into schools to catch covid and take it home to granny and grandpa, that pension bill still needs reduction.
Wondering if the flounder backed the handcock so he could be next in line for a bit of fun.
Must be the easiest investigation yet of who released the video that we’ve only seen the wee advert for the rest, only a minute, have we missed the misuse of the ministerial desk?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ewwww, gross thought.
What was the story about Mellor? Prostitutes and wearing Chelsea strip or something…
I’m sore Mr Hancock is already planning a new financial future for himself. I’m not sure any of them wait any amount of time before getting involved now, anyway, he still has his £80,000 a year plus to live on in the mean time.
LikeLike
Its a funny ol’ world…of all the incompetence, deceit and corruption it was a ( consensual) bit of slap & tickle that resulted in resignation.
It does mean that no one has admitted to all that incompetence, deceit and corruption and so its as if it never happened and with the slate wiped clean and the sleeze-o-meter reset to zero the next minister can be appointed to carry on with the good work enriching another group of friends, family and donors with preferment.
LikeLiked by 3 people
All we are hearing from the Tories is how he was a brilliant health secretary.
Amazing then, just what an horrific death toll he managed to oversee.
Still, a lot of his friends got very much richer under his stewardship and I’m sure that they will look after him.
I mean seriously, where did £37,000,000,000 go on their track and trace?
LikeLiked by 3 people
Agree with you on the sleaze meer.
I’ve now heard Three tory ex-ministers say he was a real talent in the party and he’l be back after a wee spell on the back benches.
Who?
Edwina Curry, David Mellor and the new health secretary Javid.
Edwina of the eggs and major, mellor of the undercooked toes and Chelsea stripper and javid the derivatives trader who says he’s got no experience of health industry.
See the defence minister has caught the bug on his trip on the aircraft carrier with borrowed aircraft.
Interesting statements from Marr and Philips over the weekend, Marr says he’s tested positive After his Two doses, what’s the surprise, the vaccine doesn’t stop the virus only limits how ill you get. Don’t these well educated fools get the message? The virus is alive and well in the community and busily producing new variants of itself, just like the rest of us.
Interesting radio clip last night from a WHO scientist, the latest variant has 99.7% common Rna with viruses that were worked on 35 years ago. Much like ourselves having 99% commonality with chimpanzees.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The scary thing about each new varient is that they are most contagious than the last and the vaccines are less effective against them.
I was told for a few weeks that I have 95% protection, but with the Delta varient, the one that is causing most of the new infections, I now understand that that has dropped and I’m now protected somewhere in the 60% range.
Let’s just hope that the next new varient is from a country with which Johnson doesn’t desperately (I’ll do anything) need to do a trade deal.
I see that some of Australia is going back into lockdown!
LikeLike
Handy Coincidence #3998
The revelation of Hancock’s love clinch with his publicly-funded appointee saves Johnson the inconvenience of having to make a decision on sacking the bumbling oaf so soon after the revelations from Cummings that Johnson thinks Hancock is “f*cking hopeless”. So, that’s handy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, yes. So it is.
LikeLike
Yes Tris
The same scientist said a single dose gives 50% protection against the Alpha and 80+ with a second.
Figures for the Delta are 30% and 50%.
No figures yet for the Delta+.
No wonder the flounder stopped short of release from lockdown, the vaccine manufacturers are modifying the vaccine as we speak.
Did you see the huge protest in London over the weekend, thousands without mask and no distancing, they were throwing tennis balls into Downing Street, no reported arrests.
A music get together got a visit from the polis, 50 arrests for breaking the rules, what?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I see that the new English heath secretary has said that there will be opening up as of July 18 and NO GOING BACK.
Oh well…
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E49uX9bWYAYUxHR?format=png&name=4096×4096
LikeLike
Well, everyone seems to have given up on distancing and masks now.
For those of us who give a damn it makes everything much more difficult.
And at a time like this the useless government of useless idiots is even more useless. I don;t know, says a minister.
LikeLike
As from last Saturday here in Spain we are now allowed to be outside without a mask as long as not in crowds/able to keep distance.
However the vast majority are still wearing masks here in our part of Spain anyway (Zafra, Extremadura – 12 cases atm, population approx 17,000). All ages. Still wearing masks. I am more than happy to wear for as long as it takes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s quite frightening here. And it seems that no matter what happens, England is going to bow to the will of the anti-mask brigade which will make it even harder for anyone to insist on masks here.
I may start ordering my food on line.
LikeLike
James Dewar
@IndigoFast
·
36m
Flag of Scotland Scotland coronavirus:
New cases: 3,285
Positivity rate: 12.6% (+3.7) Warning sign
New tests: 27,226
In hospital ICU: 20 (+3)
Deaths: 0
LikeLike
I like the Michael Flynn mixup.
Also Andi’s crest, with description. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful confidence from the new health minister, no need to go back from release on July.
Numbers of new cases, 22,000 and rising.
Now the propaganda, the Woolworth jabs, mix and match might give better protection.
We have real nutters in the government.
The big flounder is expecting a win in the Bye-Election as he was there today, much like the child with chocolate face who tells you they didn’t eat the chocolate he says he sacked handcock.
Hopefully someone doctors a picture with his face chocolate.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Goodness. How things change. Only the other day he said the he accepted Mr Hancock’s apology.
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https://inews.co.uk/opinion/matt-hancock-resigned-sacked-boris-johnson-1073651?ito=social_itw_theipaper&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1624792825
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David Mellor looks like a cartoon drag queen!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmmmm… maybe he’s auditioning for that Rand Paul thing, seeing as he’d never get on Love Island, except as someone’s great grandad… and he’s utterly ineligible for “I’m a Celebrity”, given that he isn’t, and only was briefly when he was involved in the Chelsea Strip thing.
LikeLike