JUST FOR A LAUGH

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David M. Herszenhorn@herszenhorn
·Message just now from handler about Boris Johnson’s closing G7 news conference as summit host:

“Unfortunately the UK does not accept journalists from foreign outlets”

Global Britain. Right.

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Adam S. Business Owner, Vintner, #BDS,#FBPE@Adam_SH69

Please spare a thought for proud brexiter Mike. Owner of a seafood restaurant overlooking River Dart in Devon. He called LBC upset that his European staff have gone & left him with a staff shortage. “I’m waiting tables at my age. The wife is behind the bar polishing glasses”.

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18. Has he become Mrs Thatcher?

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19. Maybe you should have tried it in easier English and restricted it to no more than half a page in large letters.

James Felton@JimMFelton

If it came home she would deport it

Priti Patel@pritipatel · 5h

COME ON ENGLAND Flag of England

20. I wonder will she do that for Wales and Scotland, or does she not think they exist?

Thanks to Brenda and AndiMac

15 thoughts on “JUST FOR A LAUGH”

    1. French has several verb tenses and moods which are no damn use at all in speech, but are used (rarely!) in literature. Example: “Que j’eusse su!” – which I would translate as “Would that I had known!” – because English too has some weird and wonderful possibilities in it, e.g., “Had I but known!”

      You can hear Americans mess with conditional and other verb forms quite a lot, bearing in mind, of course, that there are more native-English-speaking Americans knocking about than there are people speaking some form of BritEng – so, democratically speaking, they’re right and we’re wrong.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Ah the imperfect tense in the subjunctive mood. I doubt anyone used that much now, As they don’t in English. But they do use the subjunctive at least in the more common expressions…. Il faut qu’on “fasse” quelque chose. and not “fait”. “je doute qu’il vienne” and not “vient”.

        I’ve got a French friend who says that her great granny still uses, in speech, the “past historic” never having got to grips with the “passé composé” of today.

        But yeah, you’re right, as a rule never heard.

        I read a few Harry Potter books recently and they used the “historic”, which is good because at least they are keeping the language alive with a mainly younger (except for me) readership.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. My comment on No 18.
    Is it fair to pay people 70% of their last year’s pay and not pay people who are unemployed 70% of Their last pay.
    They get UC and have to wait a month to get their first payment.
    This last year have put paid to the No Money fable, it appears there’s plenty.
    The G7 meeting had an agenda item to discuss global warming, we get huge amounts of aircraft and large vehicles, shipped in staff and security all at huge costs in energy use.
    Couldn’t they just do it by a Zoo meeting, oh it’s Zoom.
    Just looked at the Telegraph front page, seems like the flounder’s told them what’s in this evening’s public service announcement, will dross tell him that he needs to tell parliament First?, no didn’t think so.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Boris, quite rightly, found the magic money forest that Mrs May said didn’t have one single tree in it.

      And yet, for all that, nurses still aren’t getting a pay rise (the source of the original comment from Mrs May).

      With inflation (heaven knows what it is really at) they are effectively earning less than they did before.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Caught a few minutes on MSNBC (amid the usual teejus guff about Biden having tea with the Queen of England (sic)) of Bawris quacking on at the G7 summit about Shared Values with America, such as the Rule of Law and Truth and Democracy – plus more twaddle about building back better for a green economy and millions of well-paid jobs (his regime having done its damnedest to hamstring the Scottish renewables industry), all parroting Joe Biden – not an original thought among any of it, and yet even now people give him the benefit of the doubt and believe he means it, even after proven instance after proven instance of his contempt for the aforesaid rule of law, truth and democracy.

    The truth is he doesn’t give a damn about any of that, really he doesn’t; for him, the rule of law, truth and democracy are all inconveniences and obstacles in the way of his getting what he wants by hook or by crook – usually by crook, as it turns out. It’s all disingenuous PR and window-dressing, with an unhealthy admixture of barefaced lies. He’s just a scunnersome wee bawbag with jumped-up ideas of his and England’s place in the great scheme of things. It’s not even the real England he means, it’s his England, the England of the pampered, overentitled and obnoxious Englishpersons who get up the noses of everyone they meet who isn’t just like them, not the England of the many ordinary folk the rest of us know and love.

    Underneath the carefully tousled mop and the poshly enunciated tosh and the incoherent gobbledegook, he’s just a scunnersome, repellant wee man who isn’t up to the job, even if he were motivated to be arsed to even try doing it, which he’s not. Johnson is a bone-idle, scunnersome wee man who enjoys the perks of office and hanging out with the world’s powerful and famous, not realizing that among those of us with eyes to see he’s just a joke of a tinpot, jingoistic idiot, an irritant and an annoyance, not an ally or an asset, a catastrophic failure of a Prime Minister who shirks and has always shirked doing any real work and taking any responsibility for his sins of omission and comission – and has the blood of thousands and thousands of people on his hands who would be alive today if the UK as a whole had been governed by reasonable and responsible, sane and compassionate people.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Aye, well, I can’t add anything to that…

      I wonder if he knows that or if he actually thinks he’s good.

      I wonder if deep down he thinks… Oh lordy, I haven’t half f’d up on this.

      Nah, I’m joking. Of course he doesn’t.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Why do we have politicians in charge?
      Having the choice between the flounder and awell practiced surgeon for your brain surgery, we chose a self serving nutter.
      On a lighter note.
      A customer came in with a complaint about the new car.
      It works great during the day but when the Night mode is selected the engine starts up ok but the car doesn’t move.
      A quick look at the mode selector.
      P R N D
      Park
      Reverse
      Night
      Day
      All makes sense when the car was delivered on a trailer after being ordered on-line.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. How can the members of the human race in the UK let someone ONE gene away from a chimpanzee decide how we are to protect ourselves from a virus?
    That’s no disrespect to our fellow inhabitants of the planet, chimpanzees, monkeys and flora.
    The nearest cousin to the Whales are Pigs genetically, we are all related.
    Who would have known that the big flounder was going to delay the easing of the lockdown, Oh aye, the telegraph knew yesterday so they could print it on their front page.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I see Lindsay Hoyle has managed to grow a pair. Either that or he found out he doesn’t have to stay in Johnson’s good books to get a seat in the Lords.

      He fair went off on one today about the PM disrespecting the Commons. Maybe he’ll start asking him to answer questions he’s asked?

      Like

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