JUST FOR A LAUGH

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14.

THE plane flies into turbulence. It’s bucking like a boat in a storm. To take the passengers’ minds off it, a stewardess starts wheeling the drinks trolley down the aisle.

“Would you like a drink?” she asks a fellow.

“Yes please.”

“What’ll you have?”

“Whatever it is the pilot’s having.”

15.

A SMALL boy goes camping in the woods with his dad for the first time. After they’ve set up camp he asks his dad where he can go to the toilet.


“That’s the beauty of camping in the woods. You can go to the toilet wherever you want.”


After five minutes or so, the youngster wanders back to the campfire.


“So, where did you go to the toilet then, son?”


“In your tent.

16.

17.
18.

A FELLOW goes up to the bar in an officers’ club. “I’d like something tall, icy and full of gin.”

Retired colonel further down the bar: “Sah! You’re talking about the woman I love!”

19.

20.

Thanks to John, Erik, Graham, Brenda and Andi.

50 thoughts on “JUST FOR A LAUGH”

  1. Another good selection tris, and thanks to andimac. Much appreciated. Even if not always understood.

    Pic 3: Nice take-off of The Shining. Dominic Cummings as Whacko Jacko.
    Pic 4: Longbows lost their relevance to Scots armies before Flodden (1513).
    Pic 6: Whoever wrote that was on the ball. God help us.
    Pic 8: The best thing about golf is that it offers so much scope for humour. Am I wrong?
    Pic 9: The lifespan of beerdrinkers? Not a subject I want to think about.
    Pic 11: Those New Ladybird books are fantastic.

    Liked by 4 people

        1. Danny, I know a story which is so obscene, I will not recount it in full.
          It would cause even eddjasfreeman to blush, not to mention great offence to Munguin, our host.
          The story involves President Johnson, his wife, and MLK.
          The punchline is: “Lyndon, stop behaving like a damned n!99er and get into bed!”

          Liked by 2 people

          1. DonDon……I’ve heard that story……LOL.

            I suppose that in Scotland and elsewhere in the UK “Ladybird” doesn’t immediately conjure up thoughts of Lady Bird Johnson. Even less known outside the USA might be that not only was Lyndon Baines Johnson and his wife both “LBJ”, so were his two daughters Linda Bird Johnson, and Luci Baines Johnson.

            Lady Bird’s actual birth name was Claudia Alta Taylor. Then she married Lyndon and the rest is LBJ history. 😉

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Danny, Ladybird Books were a phenomenon we all grew up with in the 60s and 70s.
              A sub-branch of Penguin Books, they were aimed at children and supposed to be “educational”.
              Quite recently, they reappeared in a satirical form, aimed at adults.
              It’s all rather strange . . .

              Liked by 2 people

                1. Coccinelle in French, Danny

                  Ban-laoigh in Gaelic.

                  I’m not sure why you guys would call them ladybugs though… they are really welcome visitors here because they eat bugs that eat plants.

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. Tris…….Ladybugs have a good reputation here in the States too, even though they are called “bugs.” When we were in San Francisco, we drove across the Golden Gate Bridge into the hills of Marin County (the sixth wealthiest county in per capita income in all of the USA) to Muir Woods. Muir Woods is a big stand of Coast Redwoods……not as big around as the Giant Sequoias, but even taller on average. You walk on wood-fenced trails among the big trees. Suddenly, we were aware that the surfaces all around us appeared to be moving. We were in the midst of a giant swarm of ladybugs that stretched as far as we could see. BILLIONS of them it seemed. Turns out that California ladybugs like to spend winter in the San Francisco Bay Area hills. The trees are an amazing sight! But so is a few hundred thousand ladybugs all around you.

                    Liked by 2 people

                1. There were three titles that really appealed to me, though I never bought them:

                  Preparing for Civil Unrest
                  Stockpiling Food
                  Panic Buying

                  All in the Brexit series, of course.

                  Liked by 2 people

                    1. LOL……That might sell big in the States, although people wouldn’t properly appreciate the Ladybird parody. 😉
                      I’ve never seen one of the books.

                      Liked by 1 person

            2. Dear heavens. Why would anyone change a perfectly good name for a daft one? OK, her initials were “CAT” but they would naturally have become “CAJ”. I get the LBJ thing, but why?

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Tris……It’s not like old Lyndon wasn’t fond of his own initials or anything….LOL.
                I hadn’t thought about the fact that she started out as CAT. 😉

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Seems like vanity to me… but, hey, I never got to be president of Scotland… oh wait, there’s a reason for that!!!

                  I’m assuming they were from the south?

                  Liked by 1 person

            1. Munguin is spending the morning working on his autobiography and enjoying a glass of something sparkling. He probably hasn’t seen it, so don’t worry. 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

  2. #12….Only 89 senators showed up for the vote on creating a bipartisan commission to document the facts about Trump’s January 6 insurrection to overturn the election. The vote was 54 FOR the commission, and 35 AGAINST…….and by the filibuster rules of the US Senate, AGAINST won. American democracy at its finest!

    https://www.npr.org/2021/05/28/1000524897/senate-republicans-block-plan-for-independent-commission-on-jan-6-capitol-riot

    The Republicans are insisting it was just a bunch of peaceful tourists who stormed the US Capitol.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I must remember that when I visit Washington.

      As a peaceful tourist I can get in to Nancy Pelosi’s office and read her mail.

      Maybe I could wear a weird costume too?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Tris…..Yes, when I’ve been there, I didn’t ransack Nancy’s office. Different rules now I guess. 😉
        The guy in the horned helmet made quite a hit. He may be in jail now though…..I’ve lost track.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Yes Tris…..Polite well-mannered tourists from the Midwest have always been at something of a disadvantage in the big eastern cities. The loud pushy big city Easterners will walk all over you. 😉 People in New York and New “Joisey” (across the Hudson) are the stereotypes of course, but the other big cities too. I acclimate OK by just being loud and demanding, and not saying please or thank you too much. The Trump insurrectionists took this to a whole new level of course….LOL.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. This has caused me to think about the fact that I was just a kid when our family took a driving trip to Washington, New York, Philadelphia and the East. It was a few years before the 911 attack, and I was old enough to know the school room history and had studied some travel brochures. So I still remember a lot about Washington as it was before the security lockdowns after 911. Pennsylvania avenue in front of the White House is closed to traffic now, (in a way I suppose, similar to Downing Street in front of Number 10,) but I remember the thrill of being in the car going down the street and seeing the White House go by the window, between the US Treasury Building and the Old Executive Office Building. You could show up at the East Wing Entrance without a reservation and get a tour of the White House (during its public hours.) Now you need a reservation. Up on Capitol Hill, you walked right up the historic steps to the big Rotunda doors and only went through some unobtrusive metal detectors to enter the Rotunda. You could then join a tour, or you could explore the old building on your own. Only the entry to the visitors galleries of the current House and Senate Chambers (at the far ends of the two wings of the building) required special layers of security. But like other visitors we had the “old” historic building to ourselves back then, including the old House and Senate chambers.

            Today, you can only enter the Capitol through an underground visitors entrance that’s at least a block or more from the building, and walk through an underground tunnel through what seems like layers and layers of security. It seems a shame if you remember the time when you could climb the big steps and suddenly be in the great Rotunda.

            By ourselves, we went down two levels below the Rotunda……where the marble walls of the Rotunda and Crypt, give way to white washed stones of the old 1790’s foundation. There we saw the black draped catafalque on which Abraham Lincoln’s and John F. Kennedy’s bodies lay in state in the Rotunda. It was tucked away behind some old stairs in the second basement level. We were all alone down there.

            I was a bookish kid, and appreciated the old House Chamber (now called Statuary Hall), where Abraham Lincoln served in Congress in 1847-1849 and where John Quincy Adams suffered a stroke and died in 1848 (the place along the wall where he died on a couch is marked……with a couch still there.) And then, over on the Senate side just off the Rotunda, we spent time in the Old Senate Chamber, where the pre-Civil War Senate giants….like Daniel Webster and Henry Clay……debated compromises to try to avoid Civil War. The Missouri Compromise was debated and passed there in 1820……the compromise that took Missouri (a slave state) into the Union, along with Maine (a free state) to maintain the delicate balance. And decades later that room was where the Kansas-Nebraska act was debated and passed in 1854, which effectively cancelled the Missouri compromise and led to Civil War. Today the old Senate Chamber offers only limited public access……only by tours which are rushed through. The Senate still uses the old chamber for ceremonial occasions.

            And then, off the Rotunda on the West Front of the building, the magnificent West Terrace……with its vast steps flowing down the western slope of Capitol Hill……is entirely closed to the public (and has been ever since shortly after 911.) The view from the West Terrace was one of the most awesome views in America…….looking west down the Mall directly to the Washington Monument, and then down the reflecting pool to the Lincoln Memorial on the river, and then across the Potomac to Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia. This is the view a newly inaugurated president sees as he delivers his inaugural address…..symbolically, to the entire nation that lies to the west across the Potomac. The West Terrace is entirely closed to the public now except for inauguration day, and is remembered most recently in the public mind by the pictures of the Trump insurrectionists, scaling the walls of the terrace, and smashing the locked doors and windows of the West Front.

            The Washington Post said that closing off the West Terrace after 911 was like closing the rim of the Grand Canyon. The Trump insurrectionists have assured that the West Terrace will never reopen, and that tourist access to the Capitol will become even tighter and more restrictive. There’s much debate now on where new fences around (previously unfenced) Capitol Hill will be located. A great shame! I’m glad that I still remember something about the way Washington and the Capitol and White House was before 911, not to mention what it will become now.

            Washington nostalgia over! 😉

            https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/2002/01/26/out-of-step-with-democracy/70f80bfa-6ba9-47e4-b53c-fbd458bfb060/

            Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes eurobrat, a comment from the senator who says he didn’t feel the least threatened from the law abiding Trump crowd, but it would have been different if they had been Black Lives Matter protesters.

        Liked by 2 people

      1. “whats the FC?”

        Je ne comprends pas la question.

        Anyway the parrot is back -I think this is “don’t fear the reaper” by blue Oyster Cult.

        Like

  3. Some of you, well Danny really, will be at least superficially aware of the Wave-Particle Duality of Light Quantum theory. This is only one of the duality principles in nature. Here is another, the Brian Cox duality 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I suspect one of them could explain it in detail.

      One of them is a Dundonian, whom I briefly met at the unveiling of some traditional lamp posts in Broughty Ferry. He seemed like a nice man… and he’s one of us!

      Liked by 3 people

    2. PP…….Very nice picture of the two Brian Coxes! I wonder where they met. I think I first saw Brian Cox from Dundee when he played Mr. Moon, Daphne’s father in Frasier. Millicent Martin played Mrs. Moon.

      Liked by 1 person

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