WHILE WE WAIT…

… LET’S HAVE A LAUGH

1. Indeed he would, ummm, Mrs Johnson.
2. In fact, they seem to relish it.
3. Particularly dim Conservative ERG MP gives away UK’s plan for Northern Ireland.
4. Tory Central Office. A proportion of the paddle rental goes towards expensive wallpaper. Thank you for your contributions.
5. Smart idea. I wish I’d thought to say that to Munguin.
6. If ever he had been a minister, I wonder if that would have broken the ministerial code.
7. Not maybe one of his proudest moments.
8. Aren’t we just?
9. He should go down proudly in history as the politician who just can’t…and just couldn’t!
10 Baroness Don’t Call Me Baroness Because it’s Not the Kind of Image the Party Wants to Promote in Scotland … (and the BBC didn’t). I imagine that not for one second, if it were not the kind of imagine that they wanted to promote in Scotland, did she consider refusing her elevation to the aristocracy …and the £300+ a day for life? Nope, I thought not.

11. Nice of you to admit that, Tories, but a bit insulting to the Greens and to Alba, don’t you think? Are they not as important? Or do you just hate Nicola and the SNP because they keep making you look like…well, what you are.
12. Well, it’s a shocking wig. Still as he’s permanently broke, I suppose that he can only afford a cheap one. Any Tory donors fancy stomping up for a proper wig that doesn’t look like it fell out of an elderly (un) lucky bag?
13. We love it when you talk dirty.
14. It’s a puzzle that would be hard for a proper government to solve, let alone the team of witless buffoons in Westminster.
15. Munguin has suggested that we start a crowd funder so that Boris can keep himself, Carrie Antoinette, sundry girlfriends… and all Boris’s children, known and otherwise, in a standard to which people of their class might reasonably be expected to aspire.

93 thoughts on “WHILE WE WAIT…”

      1. Now let me get this straight. Social media CAN on election day legally call Boris Johnson an “unethical and corrupt, lying devious dirtbag” (which I have no doubt that he is,) but it’s ILLEGAL in Scotland and the UK to publicly divulge in the media how you personally legally voted in an election, while the voting is still going on???

        Let me just say…….GEEEEZE!!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You’re still saying GEEEEEEZE to nonsensical stuff that goes on in this place, Danny? After all these years?

          All I can say to that is…. GEEEEEZE! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Yes Tris…..your “GEEEEEZE!” is well taken. I do find it necessary to use on many occasions, but I wonder if it carries the impact it once did. 😉

            I preferred the big show when the Queen actually wore the crown, but Black Rod getting the door slammed in his or her face never gets old. I always hope that they’ll slam the door of the House chamber in the face of the president when he’s there to deliver the State of the Union address, but sadly, they never do. 😉

            Liked by 1 person

            1. That crown is bloody heavy, Danny. She looked like it was all shoe could do to get to the throne even without Cholmondeley carrying it for her. That’s pronounced Chumly. That English for you… not as bad as Featherston-Haugh which is pronounced Fanshaw.????

              GEEEEEZE

              Liked by 1 person

    1. There’s extra polling stations to minimise Covid risk from overcrowding. I didn’t have to wait long, but a longish queue had formed by the time I was leaving, at the back of 6.

      Weather was shockin’ at the time, absolutely chucking it down, which is never good for turnout.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Any posts I’ve seen elsewhere, that mention it, are along the lines of Conan’s; busy enough to notice and mention.

          I read yesterday, that voter registration is at its highest for a Scottish election; that is most certainly a good sign.

          Great link, thanks.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. Boris is an effing sociopath. No one should ever have let him within 10 miles of a lever of power.

    We Scots have to get out from under the malign influence of Johnson and those like him. I’m praying to all gods, whether they exist or not, that that’s what we do today at the ballot box.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Thanks, Tris!

        As Munguinites may recall, I had a rather extreme reaction to my first COVID jag. Well, my reaction to the second one was even worse, and knocked me out for a whole week. Thus my absence from Munguinworld…

        Do not, however, let anyone be put off having their jag just because I had a bad time with it, because my take on the matter is – if that’s what the vaccination did to me, what would the virus itself have done?

        As it is, I am still alive and kicking, however feebly.

        Thanks to everyone for their concern! It makes the cockles of my heart go all warm and smushy.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Very true, Ed.

          If the vaccine did that to you, however unpleasant it was, it is probably a lot less unpleasant than the virus!

          You get kicking again, however feebly!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Pic 5 reminds me of my Grandfather, who had a twisted sense of humour. There was an advertising slogan “Nothing Acts Faster Than Anadin”. He was a Pharmacist himself but after retirement he delighted in going into Chemist shops and, pointing to the advertising notices, asking “Is it true that Nothing Acts Faster than Anadin?” The bemused assistant would inevitably reply that it was true. Whereupon my grandfather would say, “Well, give me a packet of Nothing, then.” I never heard how the conversation went after that.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I guess he was probably well oiled and his audience would have found it hugely amusing. He’s a performer first and last, a bit like Trump. And like Trump, he’s too lazy to rehearse, so it all sounds muddled and disorganised.

      If he got a laugh at the first comment, he’d just go on getting worse and worse, ruder and ruder.

      I suspect he does most things under the influence.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Tris, your suggestion that we do a crowd funder to keep Bojo, Carrie, various sprogs et al struck a chord with me. I remember when I was a kid, a guy used to come round every Friday to collect bins we’d filled with tattie peelings, cabbie stalks, etc. as swill for his pigs 🐷

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Now there’s a thought, Andi.

      OK, everyone, keep yer tattie peelings and auld veggies for Boris so that he might be able to afford to live like he thinks a prime minister should…

      Andi will be round to collect them Friday night… 🙂

      Like

    1. I liked this reply:

      Larry the Cat
      @Number10cat
      #dogsatpollingstations makes me laugh every time: a parade of dumb mutts tied to a lamppost, sitting on a cold pavement while I’m chilling at home like the complete boss that I am.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I saw that.

      Here’s some advice for her and her EDL mate. Don’t mess with Nicola, Jayda. She’s so far out of your league, you’re really on different planets.

      She’s a clever politician and you’re a part time stupid ex-con who takes turns with Mr Golding at leading your fascist party when the other one is in jail.

      Liked by 4 people

    2. I suspect that that will not have done her any harm today.

      Even if some people don’t like Nicola, y9u can bet most of them will dislike Fransen a deal more.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Seeing comment on Scottish elections is banned, or at least severely curtailed, I thought I’d give you a diversion with the story of Bulgaria’s general election. That was almost exactly a month ago and we still haven’t got a government!
    That’s what happens when proportional representation reaches an impasse. No party polled enough votes to form a government on its own, and they all hate each other too much join together and form a coalition. The most likely outcome now is a re-run in July.

    But this one has been fun, and the country has somehow managed to keep functioning while in political leadership limbo. Is there a lesson there? Would anyone really notice if Westminster shut down for a month? It does anyway over long recesses and I don’t think cries of anguish are heard across your land.

    The fun in Bulgaria was partly the big setback to the ruling GERB party that has been in power for 12 years. The name is an acronym in Bulgarian for Citizens for European Development of Bulgaria, but is also a direction translation of ‘coat of arms’. This time round GERB’s vote dropped from about one-third to only a quarter, and although polling the highest of the 38 (!) contesting parties, could not muster any support to form a coalition.

    The mandate thus passed to the runners-up, a new protest party called ‘There Is Such a People’ led by TV presenter and cabaret artist Slavi Trifonov, that took 19% of the vote.

    Trifonov declined to even try to to put together a coalition, so the baton went to the third-placed Bulgarian Socialist Party with the same predictable outcome – and now the inesitable likelihood of an election all over again.

    You could also have voted for anti-corruption and anti-government parties – the conservative-liberal-green coalition Democratic Bulgaria that took over 10% of the poll, and the splendidly named anti-graft alliance ‘Rise Up! Mafia Out!’ which garnered 5%.

    There was no shortage of other options – from just Revival to Alternative for Bulgarian Revival to Revival of the Fatherland. And if revival’s not your thing, you could have put your X against The Law, or Prosperity-Unity-Creativity, Together for Change, or Protesting Citizens, to name just a few of the eight coalition groups on the ballot alongside the 30 parties.

    And you thought the arrival of Alba made matters complicated in Scotland?? Maybe I should join forces with Slavi Trifanov and export ‘There Is Such a People’ as another indy force. The name would go down well, just the same as it did here. And 19% more for indy wouldn’t go amiss.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL… sounds like fun. I’d go with Slavi, if only because my dear friend, Stanislav gets called that by a few of his best mates.

      “Rise Up, Tories, I mean Mafia, Out” sounds good to me too.

      The Tories might also be renamed “There is such a people”… but you’d have to add “no honestly” because, let’s face it, they do take some believing.

      Like

  5. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/may/06/new-concerns-indian-covid-variant-clusters-found-across-england-ongoing-risk-high

    I wonder why they didn’t want it released until after the elections?

    From the article:

    Every week PHE (Public Health England) releases new data revealing the latest case numbers of variants that are either under investigation or deemed of concern.

    But in an email containing details of the situation, a staff member at the Department of Health and Social Care wrote: “Data publication [is] to be delayed 24 hours from Thursday to Friday given it is local elections tomorrow.”

    PHE said the delay was due to “a processing issue”.

    Given that there are areas in Scotland on that map, what does our public health authority have to say?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. More diversion while we wait…

    We’ve seen the name Ipsos Mori often enough, especially with all the recent polls, but the meaning of the name only crossed my mind a couple of days ago. ‘The dead themselves’, ‘The very dead’? Tory voters notwithstanding, it struck me as a peculiar choice for a research outfit. Why?

    Nothing so dramatic it seems. The name is only accidental Latin and derives from the merger of two companies 15 years ago: Ipsos – from ‘ipso facto’ which hardly needs explanation, and MORI – Market and Opinion Research International. All mundane and boring. Still, I’d have thought it might have occurred to someone that the name was open to misconstruction. Unless they lacked anyone with a smattering of Latin?

    They weren’t to know then, but in the current way of things, and conspiracy connections everywhere, my own brief checking of the name came across lots of social media comment on Ipsos Mori being directly linked to covid deaths! This involves mistranslating the name as ‘They died’ and supposedly revealing its sinister motives during the pandemic.

    The company has even had to refute all this idiocy in a public statement. QAnon-sense is bad enough, but who benefits from peddling bullshit like this? Private Eye’s ‘From the Message Boards’ feature is a hilarious spoof of social media lunacy, but as so often the case, real-life lunacy trumps the satirist.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear heavens, what a story.

      I find it incredible that no one noticed at least the word “mori”. If not from a study of Latin, at least from Winfred Owen’s poem “Dulci et decorum est pro partia mori”.

      Incredible that they would have used it.

      Like

      1. Another one I wrote earlier:

        Memento Mori

        A bob o flouers ablow the brig
        owre the Lampertheim by-pass,
        whaur some puir chiel tint his life.

        A rude o wuid neist a gless-container
        on the Heidelberger-Strasse, ti shaw
        whaur a biker rade his Harley owre fest.

        A wraith an a caunle bi the side o the Landstrasse,
        whaur a young lass frae Hemsbach
        bairged intil a grumphie.

        In the midst o Life, Daith.

        Gordon Donaldson

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Once upon a time there was an undertaker in Edinburgh by the name of Hope. Whenever I passed I used to think it a great advertising slogan would be ‘Where there’s death there’s Hope’!

          Liked by 1 person

  7. Tories have won the Hartlepool by election.

    Imagine looking at the last 2 years and thinking Yes we need more of that! Still at least they can no longer say Scotland shouldn’t be independent because we should have solidarity with the North of England. They have made their bed, let’s leave them to lie in it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, I assume that the revival of Tories in the North of England will not be remirrored in our country.

      On that basis, the divide becomes greater and the reason for a referendum more pressing.

      Like

    2. Ah, Hartlepool. You’ll maybe recall that during the Napoleonic Wars, the people of Hartlepool hanged a shipwrecked monkey, believing it to be a French spy – hence their nickname ‘monkey hangers’. Seems like over 200 years later they still have difficulty grasping reality🐒

      Liked by 1 person

      1. A similar story is told of Boddam, and Wikipedia claims it is the original of the Hartlepool version.

        The tale in Boddam was that there was a shipwreck but the villagers could not claim salvage rights unless all aboard had perished. So the surviving monkey was hanged. Job done!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. No 13 . I think Boris speaks the truth. We are a totally defenceless country. The holy loch is an nuclear waste sewer and no one batts an eyelid.And there are other horrors in Scotlandwww2 ammunition dumps in lochs etc etc.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All so they can say they punch above their weight in the world.

      Pompous self-important ********s.

      So hilarious given that they would need Mr Biden’s permission to use any of their WMDs

      Like

  9. And Nicola needs to beef up her security, the person harassing her was far to close,. I doubt anyone could have stopped an assault

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure they must have been someone in her entourage who could deal with the couple who accosted her.

      That said, I think every politician is in the same situation.

      Like

  10. Headline from the proper media.

    Don’t Care party win Hartlepool by-election with a landslide.

    The turn out was Forty Two Percent.

    Think about it, 58% 0f the voting population didn’t cast a vote for any party.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Interesting. I don’t know what the average turn out for by-elections is, but presumably they were having council elections there too… so maybe that wouldn’t mean much.

      Like

  11. I think the turn outs for local and by-elections never get near 50%.

    Maybe we should have a new party on the ballot papers.
    I propose the Don’t Give a F…… Party.
    Vote DGaF.
    Maybe the labour party need to have some visionary leader with a policy of Free Englandland or Independence for englandland.
    A kind of ENP that isn’t Tory lite in competition with the full fat english nationalism of the big flounder.
    Whilst we await our results I sit and ponder if we are being outvoted by onionist incomers like Wales.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This waiting is a nightmare.

      People are starting to ask (on Twitter anyway) of Starmer should go.

      Will be interesting to see if that develops into anything. It’s a matter of relative indifference to me.

      In the meantime, does anyone know where this is?
      https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E0yH0GFWQAIT-TX?format=jpg&name=small

      Tony Mc on Twitter is asking:

      1960 Scotsman pic of what they say is Parkhead, #Glasgow. Can’t recognise it myself but struggling to think where it could be. Anyone?

      Like

        1. Clydebank and Milngavie (Scottish Parliament):

          SNP: 47.6% (-1.6)
          LAB: 33.5% (+9.8)
          CON: 11.1% (-7.3)
          LDEM: 8.0% (-1.0)

          SNP HOLD.

          Like

  12. Fantastic result for
    @JoeFitzSNP
    here in Dundee West for
    @thesnp
    with 61.4% of the vote with a thumping majority of nearly 13000. Time for recover, time for #Scotlands March forward to #independence #indyref2

    Congratulations, Joe.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Watching over at independence live on YouTube bit slow to show results but some good speakers on…good luck bonnie Scotland. (My dad loved Scotland, always called it bonnie, took us on day trips to Edinburgh when pennies allowed).

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Lesley is a great speaker.
    Pity she’s not in our parliament.
    Wee willie rennie gets 22,000 votes, tactical voting perhaps.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that happened last time too. The Tory vote went down and the Liberal Dems’ vote went up.

      A keep the SNP vote out.

      Maybe he’s a good constituency MSP

      Like

      1. That’s a close run contest in Glasgow Southside.
        Nicola will need to watch the new FM job’s in Hollyrood, oh that’s the next time

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Liberal vote up 11%, Tory vote down 11%.

      The Britnats have cottoned on to tactical voting.

      Similar story elsewhere, like Dumbarton.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep, I’ve noticed the correlation between the pluses and minuses, often noting a small increase in the SNP vote at the same time.

        We see you guys, but hey… it’s OK.

        Tactical voting is ok. Even if you are doing it to thwart the wishes of the Scottish people (clearly not nearly as important as the wishes of the British people that Mrs May and Mr Johnson never stop talking about).

        Just remember though, to get a referendum it need PARLIAMENT to vote for it. Not the SNP or the First Minister.

        And tomorrow or the next day we shall see some Greens and probably an Alba or two who will also vote for a referendum.

        Nice try though. God loves a trier as my granny used to say.

        Like

  15. As we wait for the final tallies…

    Here’s what The National has to say about Greenock & Inverclyde:

    “SNP’s Stuart McMillan wins

    SNP: 54.2% (+0.5)
    LAB: 31.7% (+4)
    CON: 9.1% (-5)
    LIBDEMS: 2.8% (-1.6)”

    Yay! SNP have an increased vote share on a higher turnout than last time, whereas it looks like some of the ultrayoons supporting the other unionist parties – actually, loads of them – have put their votes behind Labour as the pro-dependence candidate most likely to win.

    Ah, but over on the BBC website, it’s a different story:

    “SNP hold Greenock and Inverclyde

    The SNP’s Stuart McMillan has won the Greenock and Inverclyde seat with a slightly reduced majority of 8,174.

    Mr McMillan got 54.2% of the vote.

    Labour were second after a swing from the SNP of 1.7%.

    Turnout increased to 63.4%.”

    Gosh… a swing from the SNP! A reduced majority! Fancy that!

    Could it be, people, that someone is telling porkies in their election coverage? Say it ain’t so, Joe, say it ain’t so!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ummm… I wish I could, Ed… but I can’t

      I see that Jackson Carlaw has said that if the SNP (note the SNP) don’t get a majority then they won’t be able to request a referendum.

      I had no idea that the SNP was more powerful than the parliament.

      Well, there’s a thing.

      Like

      1. Funny old world, i’ntit, Tris … all those years of David Cameron in coalition with the Lib Dems, completely unable to pass any laws and not having any legitimacy to pass any legislation whatsoever according to Jackson Carlot, then Teresa May not being able to govern because she couldn’t command a majority without Arlene and her merry band of dinosaur-deniers – or is my memory going? Reality is just so uncomfortably fluid these days, I find, with funny peculiar people treating facts as if they were chiels that can be caused to ding as loudly and as often as desired.

        Oh well, I shan’t continue to bother my pretty little head about it, as Mr. Carlot’s infeffable mental processes are clearly well beyond my modest intellectual grasp.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I think almost all of us feel somewhat diminished by the intellectual capacities of Mr Carlaw, Ed.

          Why, Munguin said to me only the other day, that he, himself, felt somewhat belittled in proximity to the great Carlaw brain.

          Like

  16. The obvious scale of tactical voting yesterday suggests that Yoon voters have abandoned almost all positive principles or motivation and are dominated by their obsession with stopping the SNP.
    It will be interesting to see how this works out on the list, where tactical voting appears to make little sense for Yoons unless they can somehow agree on a party to vote for – without any electoral history comparable to that of a constituency and where “beating the SNP ” no longer serves as a helpful target in itself.
    But the electoral/ demographic tide is turning so their only hope is to serve as a bunch of Canutes in the hope that Westminster can save them by abolishing Holyrood or some other device which reduces Scotland to a clearly colonial status.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The Telegraph says that there will be no referendum, because the SNP didn’t win a majority. I’m not sure how they know that, mind you.

      Presumably they got if from Mr Johnson, although by late Friday afternoon, he probably slurred rather than said it.

      Like

  17. So the final result is down to the @Fudge@ system we have.
    See the list votes tomorrow just as designed by the onionists, never a majority parliament.
    Looking at the results we have red, yellow and blue onionists who profess to have their own agenda voting for their friendly enemies.
    Only positive is that the turn out seems to be much better that Hartlepool’s 42% which gives the flounder funny bragging rites when more of the voters didn’t bother to vote for any of the parties.
    Even ABC and Sky Australia misreporting the reality to a country that has compulsory voting and has a party called ‘None Of The Above’

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Tomorrow will be interesting. Nice to see that her ladyship’s commoner seat, now she no longer needs it and has gone on to better things, has been taken by the SNP

      Like

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