A STERN letter from a reveller:
“We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video … we need to talk …”
THE difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags a tail, the other tags a whale.
THE Covid vaccine roll-out has started with health-care workers and old-timers
An account comes this way of one of the latter who went for his second dose. On his way home from the vaccination centre, he started having blurred vision. He phoned the centre from home and asked if he should see a doctor or go straight to a hospital.
“No,” they said. “Come straight back here. You left your glasses behind.”
New virus affliction makes appearance
BAD news on the virus front, I’m afraid. A new one has arrived – Nile virus, type C. It appears to target those born between 1940 and 1970.
· You send the same message twice.
· You send a blank message.
· You send a message to the wrong person.
· You send it back to the person who sent it to you.
· You forget to attach the attachment.
· You hit SEND before you’ve finished.
· You hit DELETE instead of SEND.
· You SEND when you should DELETE.
This is called the C-Nile virus.
And if you can’t admit to the above symptoms, you’ve caught the mutant strain. This is the D-Nile virus.
In church last Sunday, I heard an elderly lady in the pew behind me saying a prayer.
She was so sincere, I just felt I should share:
“Lord: This last year has been very tough. You have taken my favorite actors Sean Connery, Kirk Douglas and Diana Rigg; my favorite television host, Alex Trebek; Carl Reiner from ‘Your Show of Shows’; my favorite singer from the 50’s, Little Richard; even Charlie Daniels and Kenny Rogers my two favorite country singers; and from sports you took Gale Sayers and a longtime favorite Kobe Bryant.”
“I just thought you should know that my favorite politicians are Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. Oh, and Lord if you’re running any specials I really like that little prick Adam Schiff, too.”
Thanks to Andi, Brenda, Panda Paws, John, Erik, Graham.