1. Deliciously, irreverently funny and will no doubt induce apoplexy in certain quarters.

    However he wasn’t a Battenberg, although his mother was. He was a Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg, Glücksburg for short.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Incidentally, it shouldn’t induce any kind of apoplexy.

      We haven’t said anything rude about him… and lord knows we could have. 🙂


      1. That won’t prevent outrage being expressed though.

        Signed up to WordPress, didn’t like it, deleted the account, but my regular email address has effectively been hijacked; we are not amused.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. O/T, but as this is sort of a JFaL extra, I just spotted this under the Grauniad’s latest ‘toon:

    “This little Tory abuses free markets,
    This little Tory has a stately home,
    This little Tory likes the pork barrel,
    This little Tory went to Eton,
    And this little Tory went,
    wee wee wee on the Treaty of Rome.” – MarvinH262

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Great stuff, Andi! Can only agree with Tris that there’s no cause at all for apoplexy, while maintaining the tradition of the great bard of Dundee, although unlike the duke he lived most of his time in Edinburgh, although he never got a title or anything else from Queen Victoria, much to his lasting sorrow.

    Jeez, only have to think of William Topaz and I lapse into his style.

    Just one wee point for correction, before pedantic detractors climb in with glee to point out once again the inaccuracies of supporters of the SNP…

    Grouse are not shot in July and can be drunk quite safely till the season starts on August 12. Andi, I hope you’ll accept my attempt at revision while following your style:

    At home, the grouse from raptors’ claws he’d keep in health
    So toffs could slaughter them in thousands on the Glorious Twelfth

    And while we’re into Latin, we should also remember poor Gloria, whose memoriam is shared with Chookie Embra, although hers remind us that she always puked in the bus when going back to school at the start of every week… Sic Transit Gloria Mundi.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. John, your graceful revision is most gladly and humbly received. What can I say? –

      I should have written August, not July,
      but my laureate’s quill was errant and I know not why.
      Instead, mayhap, of musing on the doomèd grouse’s fate,
      my wandering thoughts fixed on another date.
      Why that is so is mystery to me, I must declare,
      though scent of orange blossom, as I wrote, perfumed the air.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. There was an old prince called Mountbatten,
        Who sponged off the poor as does happen.
        He popped off his clogs,
        Left his wife to the dogs,
        As the vultures flew in from Manhattan.

        Liked by 3 people

  4. My tribute to McGonagall, written on the 38 bus trying to get home about ten years ago.

    Beautiful Road Bridge over the briny Forth

    That lets you visit the village of Queensferry, North

    And hosts a bus service that takes you straight to Deep Sea World

    I am here to tell you of a terrible tale which unfurled

    When the bus tried to leave Edinburgh, where the cold wind swirled

    The passenger’s hearts were light and felt no sorrow

    But TIE in it’s wrath had ploughed a furrow

    From Haymarket to Shandwick Place was a hole in the ground

    Right along Princes Street and away past the Mound

    (Hang on this is not in my plans; I’m writing doggerel, which almost scans

    But heh, I’m only looking for an excuse; to start off McGonagall and end up Suess)

    But back to the bus, the passengers happy

    Not yet knowing how long they would wait for a lavvie.

    So the bus crawled on with all of it’s might

    Keeping ladies with Zimmerframes, just within sight

    At Haymarket; the passengers, bladders in pain

    Got off the bus and on to the train…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What talent we have in Munguin’s Republic.

      Poets, artists, photographers, linguists, even some proper journalists.

      Munguin is a lucky animal…


        1. Much nicer flag if you like flags.
          Can we see the one for Northern Ireland?

          Seeing reports of the handcock’s sister getting NHS contracts and the handcock having shares in her company, nothing funny there then, everyone has shares in sibling’s companies.

          Liked by 3 people

  5. I’ll have to try and find an old Landrover to convert into a hearse just like phil the greek.
    A lengthened Landrover was built to carry his coffin tomorrow.
    Must be great to be given the money for a one off trip vehicle.
    Wonder who paid.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Why are they not just using a hearse?

      Is that not more dignified than a landrover?

      Munguin says that when I go, he’ll have the staff put me in a black bag and dump me in the bin.

      He’s reckoning that that will save him a good bit of money.


      1. I was reading that not only is the coffin made of oak, it’s lead lined. I’m guessing that the “design” included some beefed up suspension.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Munguin says thanks for the tip (if you’ll pardon the expression). He says I wasn’t much cop the first time around but ….recycled….sheeeeeesh.


      1. I saw a pic of the long-wheelbase Landrover somewhere, probably on the Guardian’s website.

        It is MOD green.

        I don’t know why they’re not using a gun-carriage, which is traditional.

        And his favourite horse, with his riding boots pointing backwards in the stirrups.

        Liked by 1 person

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