JUST FOR A LAUGH

These jokes/cartoons are not intended to be offensive. Be aware that there is some swearing in a few of them.

1.

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumor or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said: “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?”

“Wait a moment.” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

‘Triple filter?” asked the acquaintance.

“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about Diogenes, let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said. “Actually I just heard about it.”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?”

“No, on the contrary.”

“So,” Socrates continued. “You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates. “If what you want to tell me is neither True, nor Good, nor even useful, why tell it to me, or anyone at all?” 

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was erm, “enjoying relations” with Socrates’ wife.

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BEFORE the internet what did our parents do when they were bored? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.

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7. It probably won’t surprise you to know that the government allegedly adjusted (rewrote) the findings of the inquiry about racism in the UK.
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Some of Edinburgh’s politically incorrect humour:

·      To a group of female Labour MPs at Buckingham Palace: “Ah, so this is feminist corner then.”

·      To Welsh singer Tom Jones. “What do you gargle with? Pebbles?”

·       To Cayman Islanders: “Aren’t most of you descended from pirates?”

·      To Australian comedian Adam Hills, who had a prosthetic foot: “You could smuggle a bottle of gin out of the country in that artificial foot.”

·      To a disabled man on a mobility scooter: “How many people have you knocked over this morning on that thing?”

·      On the horsiness of his daughter, Princess Anne: “If it doesn’t fart or eat hay, she isn’t interested.”

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WHAT do you call a cat that chases outlaws?

A posse cat.

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I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound – if I can remember any of the damn things. – Dorothy Parker

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Thanks to John, Brenda, Lexie, Erik, Graham and T.

21 thoughts on “JUST FOR A LAUGH”

  1. #20 : Clearly you saved the best for last … made me LOL 🙂

    #17 : How to address such blatant sexual inequality ???

    #8 : TBH I’ve felt that way exactly … all too close to home … oh dear me!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It wouldn’t be JFAL without Jimmy Ferguson, our adopted twitter wit!

    “I’ve been hitting the bottle really hard recently.
    Still that ketchup is hard to get out.”

    “The inventor of the jigsaw puzzle has died.
    May he rest in pieces”

    “My mate Tony asked me not to spell his name backwards.
    I said “Y not?”

    The man is a genius. A true genius.

    Liked by 2 people

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