JUST FOR A LAUGH

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The managing director of a major paint company was found at the summit of Ben Nevis. Found by the mountain rescue and reported to be blue with the cold.
Recommended that another couple of coats would have helped.

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The High court in Belfast in the 50’s.
Woman found guilty of murdering her husband.
Judge dons the black cap and starts on the sentence.
Takes off the cap and says, ‘I’m going to be lenient due to the fact you’re a widow’.

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12. Lest you should suddenly imagine yourselves on the Isle of Man or, Falkland Islands. Never forget that they are BRITISH pounds sterling.

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15. Don’t worry, DRoss, De Pfeffel isn’t the only one who forgets your name. Pretty much no one in Scotland has heard of you.

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It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress. – Mark Twain.

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NOW just imagine if the person who named walkie-talkies had named various other things:

·      Stamps – lickie-stickies.

·      Defibrillator – heartie startie

·      Bumble bees – fuzzie-buzzies.

·      Pregnancy test – maybie-babie.

·      Bra – breastie-nestie.

·      Fork – stabbie-grabbie.

·      Socks –feetie-heaties.

·      Hippo – floatie-bloatie.

·      Nightmare – Screamie-dreamie.

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·      Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

·      A man’s home is his castle in a manor of speaking.

·      Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

·      Shotgun wedding – a case of wife or death.

·      A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

·      Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

·      Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

·      Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

·      When two egotists meet it’s an i for an i.

·      She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

·      A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

·      If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

·      A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

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Thanks to: Brenda, Andi, T, Dave, Derek, John, Graham, Erik.