IF IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR CARRIE NUT NUTS, IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR MUNGUIN.
Munguin was interested to read this morning, that Bojo is trying to set up a charity to fund “improvements” to the Downing Street flat that he shares with his fiancée and one of his innumerable children.
The said fiancée is overseeing the renovations and… just guessing here…appears to have spent rather more than was available in the budget.
Hence the need to have a charity to pay for the work.
So Munguin craftily thought that should he make a substantial contribution to this charity, Carrie Nut Nuts would probably give him a Lordhood, and £350 a day plus expenses, and then he could set up his own charity to recoup the money… and possibly pay for some much needed decorations inside the Towers. (Gold gets shabby after a while.)
Anyone who wishes to contribute should send donations (in excess of £5,000…in cash only) direct to Munguin at Munguin Towers, Dundee.
He thanks you all in advance and points out that there may be a lack of posts in the next few days as Tris will spend the bulk of his time counting the notes and then transporting them to Munguin’s private banks, situated in Vaduz, Zurich (prepare the guest wing, Terry) and the British Virgin Islands.
On another matter, we have noted here on occasion, the proliferation of inappropriate, ugly and frankly offensive Butchers’ Aprons around the place. No English government minister appears without a flurry of them. (Maybe they should set up a charity to fund the purchase of ever greater quantities?)
When you walk into Tesco or Morrisons these days, it like you entered a flag factory. Union Jacks are everywhere, even on products which do not originate in the UK!! Zanahorias BRITÁNICAS, cultivadas en España, anyone?
I know the Brits were at one point threatening war with Spain over Gibraltar (Michael Howard wanted to send a gun boat… eh?), but I was under the impression that that had been sorted… without the Brits taking over and claiming Spanish carrots as their own. (And, as a side note, the Gibraltarians will effectively not be leaving the EU).
Today, however, Munguin was shocked to discover that one of his favourite treats, and one he occasionally allows Tris to indulge in if there is a left over in the box, has been claimed by the Brits.
Yes! Down with the ghastly French Fancies of yesteryear. Stand forward the infinitely superior GREAT British Fancy, the development of which has seen no expense spared. Well, has seen no expense, actually.
The Brits have taken back control of, well everything, including mass-produced bakery items at which, to be honest, most French people would “montent le nez”.
It’s a bit of a pity that the paper cake holders’ décor is more reminiscent of the “bleu, blanc, rouge” du drapeau français, que le red white and blue of her majesty’s fleg!