I SAY, YOU CHAPS, I’VE HAD A SPIFFING IDEA

Image result for Bridge between scotland and ireland
I got the Johnnies at some office or other to draw up maps and, I tell you, that bridge beats the hell out of the Forth thing that that the tartan knickers lot built.

You remember I had the brilliant idea of a bridge between Scotland and Northern Ireland to beat the customs in the middle of the sea? I mean you can’t have a customs post on a bridge can you, in the middle of the windy sea? So, they’d have to give in on that one. Noh nah nah nah nah, EU. You didn’t see that coming!

Image result for Bridge between scotland and ireland
Here I am overseeing it and looking like Winnie to boot.

Then I had an even better idea. (They don’t call me Boris Idea Johnson for nothing, you know.) I decided to build these ungrateful jocks a tunnel. I mean you can’t have a customs post in the middle of tunnel miles underground, can you? Very unhealthy. Got the foreign Johnnies again!

Image result for tunnel between scotland and ireland
What do you mean they call me Boris No Bloody Idea Johnson?

Then it came to me in another one of my flashes of inspiration and genius.

Why not build a few more tunnels? One from Stranraer in Haggis Land, one from Larne in Paddy Land and two from our own dear green and pleasant England. And…and wait for it, this is the really clever bit… have a ROUNDABOUT under the Isle of Man?

Image
There you are chaps. Is it any wonder I succeeded as I have? Boris Visionary Johnson.

Now what do you think of that chaps?

What? We don’t own the sea? The IOM what? Government? Is that even a thing?
Image
Perhaps, I ought not to have had that last bottle of bubbles before breakfast…

24 thoughts on “I SAY, YOU CHAPS, I’VE HAD A SPIFFING IDEA”

        1. Don’t go out now, Niko.

          There will be some gentlemen who’ll pop round soon and they’ll take you to a nice place where you can relax and soon you will start to feel better.

          Liked by 4 people

    1. I though Boris might ask you to do it.

      You’d better start taking the youth pills. On the basis that it’s taken 10 years to get zero miles of HS2 built, I’d reckon that roundabout might be ok in 2120… if the Manx people agree to having a traffic jam under their country.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Could we get Princess Marple of America to open them all, especially the Manx roundabout at which opening I can guarantee Moira Anderson would be delighted to sing a fine British air. I admit that TV detective Miss Marple is no more royal than her hubby but if she would open these infrastructural masterpieces she could put it some hefty expenses, sells the photos to Hello or Majesty and claim her war hero husband’s medals and titles back for him. And Old Betty could stay on London downing the gin. Win Win, I call it.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Win win win, I say. And Moira wouldn’t have far to travel. She could probably reach it from the cellar of her house.

        Here she is rehearsing in her living room already, like the true pro she is.

        Like

        1. I do hope “Niko” isn’t the new name for “Moira Anderson”. A teensy bit passé and ever so slightly camp. One cannot imagine Moira would wish to be renamed in memory of one of Andy Warhol’s sidekicks. Simply too outré.

          Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Talking-up Scotland

NOT conflating the aberrant with the norm like BBC

The Dunglishman

The bilingual blog about all things British

STAGE LEFT

Love, theatre and ideas

Wildonline.blog

British Wildlife & Photography

scotlandisdifferent

Why Scotland should be an independent country

BrawBlether

Thoughts about Scotland & the world, from a new Scot

Divided We Fall

Bipartisan dialogue for the politically engaged

Insightful Geopolitics

Impartial Informative Always

Black Isle Media

We Provide The Facts, You Make The Decisions

The Broad Spectrum Life

Exploring Rhymes, Reasons, and Nuances of Our World

Musical Matters...

Mark Doran's Music Blog

George Blamey-Steeden

Guitarist / Songwriter

Best in Australia

This site supports Scottish Independence

thehistorytwins

A comic about history and stuff by FT

My Life as Graham

The embittered mumblings of a serial malcontent.

Pride's Purge

an irreverent look at UK politics

ScienceSwitch

Your Source For The Coolest Science Stories

dondeeflugs

The greatest WordPress.com site in all the land!

Mark All My Words

Exploring Nature + Health

netbij.com

http://netbij.com

%d bloggers like this: