SOPPY SUNDAY

1. I’ve been waiting for you. Where have you been?
2. After yesterday, I don’t want any Smart Alec talk about getting my hair cut. I’m like David Bowie.
3. They never said there would be this much snow in Scotland!
4. Hello. I was looking for Munguin… Anyone seen him?
5. Well, which is it?
6. Me and my buddy cat.
7. Sniffffff…. Oh that’s nice.
8. This is fascinating.
Investing in Botswana: Reference Guide 2013 - Investment Frontier
9. Gaborone, Botswana.
10. There’s that Andi with his camera, looking for a star of Soppy Whatsit… I think I’m perfect for it and this is my best side.
11. Fife milestone.
12. Did someone say that cute animals were in demand?… Here I am
13. This fellow was having a break in the sunshine by the Dighty, glanced in our direction and got on with his sunbathing.
14. Rusty oil platform in the Tay for repair.
15. It’s the lockdown. I can’t get a hair cut…
16. So, I said ….
17. Majestic caribou bull in front of the mount Denali, ( mount Mckinley), Alaska
18. We could sing you the Donkey Serenade.
7 Most Exciting Things To Do in Nepal
19. Walking holiday in Nepal, anyone?
20. Nothing like a head scratch. Well that’s it for today. See you next week if you’re good.

Thanks to Andi, Jim, David, Erik, John.

NIGHT VISITOR

An ode to a cat.

Sly, stealthy Trojan of the secret night,

On padded hooves you creep to stand outside my walls.

Nuzzling.

To infiltrate defenceless sheets and blankets.

And my heart.

You risk an unresisting armpit (non-repellent too!)

And stretch front paws on bicep for a pillow,

Rear stretched out below, impaling thigh.

Turn slightly, press your back against my chest,

And I, poor sucker, stretch out mine

To find, a rippling rhythmic orchestra of happiness,

Beneath stigmated palm. 

Here are the cutest cat videos to get you through quarantine – Film Daily

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I see the rain must have washed away the “for aquatic creatures” under the “designed for living” claim.

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Some laptops given out in England to support vulnerable children home-schooling during lockdown contain malware, according to a BBC report.

Teachers have said that the malware appeared to be of Russian origin. They became aware of the Gamarue.I worm while setting up the lap tops for children who have no access to internet at home.

The English Department for Education said it was aware and urgently investigating.

Who? Me? Uh….
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According to Lisa O’Carroll, Guardian Brexit correspondant, HRMC boss Jim Harra has confirmed that consumers will be hit by price hikes when they order goods from the EU online.

1. VAT

2. Customs duties if goods are not EU/Brit product under rules of origin rules.

3. Cost of courier/Royal Mail for doing the customs clearance for you. (€12)

But, lest you should get down heartened, please remember, you can now have a Passeport Bleu from the Pritster.

Brexit: Government to issue first blue passports from March 2020 : CityAM

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Jacob Rees Mogg: It’s the EU’s fault

The FACTS: No 10 has admitted an EU proposal to allow visa-free tours by musicians was rejected, apparently because of a belief it clashed with ending free movement.

Don’t they tell the MP for the 18th century anything? I suppose in fairness he’s thinking of bands of strolling players as opposed to Little Mix or Ariana Grande…

Strolling players by Francis James Barraud on artnet

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The more I hear of the royals and their odd beliefs, the more republican I become.

Apparently in 2002, his royal bloody highness, the duke of Rothsay, prince of Wales and duke of Kernow (yawn) etc., wrote to Tony Blair the then prime minister, asking him not to ban fox hunting.

Prince Charles visits the most northerly whisky distillery in mainland  Scotland | Daily Mail Online

 “There is … complete bewilderment that the Government is apparently responding to calls to ban something which is genuinely environmentally friendly, which uses no modern technology, which does not pollute the countryside, which is completely natural – in that it relies entirely on man’s ancient and, indeed, romantic relationship with dogs and horses.”

He also suggested the fight waged by animal rights activists to ban hunting was motivated by class war.

I can’t get my head around why we not only tolerate these fossils, but pay them multi-millions of taxpayers pounds to ponce around like gigantic relics of autrefois.

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How Close Are Barack Obama and Joe Biden? - The New York Times

Boris the Embarrassment criticised (“part Kenyan”) Barack Obama for removing the bust of Winston Churchill from the Oval Office. Johnson considered it a slight to Britain.

“Some said it was a symbol of the part-Kenyan President’s ancestral dislike of the British empire – of which Churchill had been such a fervent defender,” Mr Johnson wrote in the lead-up to the Brexit referendum.

Churchill is, or was, a hero of Mr Johnson. A junior aristocrat of his times, he stood for, among other things, Empire, misogyny, class barriers, racism, British superiority and, I guess all the things that people like President Obama (and now President Biden) have little time for.

Trump put Winnie back in the Oval Office, presumably because he shares Mr Churchill’s values…and was thanked by Mrs May (remember the strong and stable woman) for doing so.

Don't let's delude ourselves over the special relationship | News | The  Times

But now that President Biden has moved Churchill out again, Mr Johnson has been careful not to criticise him.

It seems that even he understands that when you are a prime minister desperately trying to get noticed by a new American president who gives the impression of being much more interested in Canada and the EU than in Little Britain, it’s probably not a great idea to criticise what HE has in HIS office.

I wonder what decoration Johnson has in his office?

Brexit deal: 'Madman' Boris Johnson gets his Hollywood ending | News | The  Sunday Times

BIG DAY, AMERICA

Trump Is Leaving Office With a Bunch of Legal Problems — And We're Not Just  Talking About Impeachment | FiveThirtyEight
Bye then…

So, Donny’s gone, after making a speech highlighting his achievements and, at long last, wishing the new president good luck, without, child that he is, mentioning his name.

He said that he thought the new administration should do well, because it had “a foundation” to do really well. Yep, apart from an horrific health crisis and a small matter of sedition. Only a few weeks ago he, his family and his lawyer incited violence and insurrection at the state capital for which he has once again been impeached.

Perhaps the scariest thing he said, though, was something that Arnold Terminator Schwarzenegger, a rival tv presenter and Republican politician nearly said in his film star days (but Trump used the royal “we”).

“We’ll be back” Trump said, adding “in some form”… whatever that means. Maybe he’s reckoning on coming back as a mushroom… or more likely an orange or mango.

Donald Trump leaves the White House after four years as president | US News  | Sky News
Seems he forgot his kids…

MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS

Remember when Jeremy Clarkson punched a BBC producer in the face because he couldn’t get steak for his dinner?

Well, now it appears that he is sick of hearing about the inadequacy of the English meals provided for kids whose parents are would normally qualify for free school meals.

Free school meals: How you can help children in need | The Independent

<Clarkson said that a woman requesting to be given supermarket vouchers instead of the food boxes was “presumably [doing it] so that she could exchange it at the supermarket for fags and scratch cards”>.

Or maybe, Mr Clarkson, given that the government, that is the taxpayer, is paying a private company £30 per child for these packages, which are supposed to last for 10 days, they would actually like £30 worth of food, the woman just th0ught the kids should get a bit more out of it.

I mean, half a tomato and half a pepper and a tiny piece of carrot… Is this global Britain leading the world? I know we should all be fighting obesity, but starving people to death is probably at the extreme end of the solutions available.

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Well, you might know with the Brits, it has to do with “commercial confidentiality”. Never mind openness; never mind people’s health, let’s make sure no one finds out anything that is commercially confidential. I wonder what the Brits are trying to hide.

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Two US National Guards have been pulled from Inauguration duty tomorrow, because of links to the Far Right

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Why is this not a scandal? Why are people not calling for Johnson to go? Why are the Scottish Tories whining about what a terrible job Nicola Sturgeon is doing, while their own English government is making such a pig’s ear of this pandemic?

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Douglas Ross MP

If it means stopping the SNP and their push for indyref2, I would be part of a unionist coalition. The last Scottish Labour leader wouldn’t work with us. Will you @AnasSarwar @MonicaLennon7?

Monica Lennon

That’s very flattering Douglas but it’s a red card from me. See you on the campaign trail where we’ll be fighting for radical social and economic change, not a political agenda that looks after the wealthy few.

Oh, dear, Dougie no mates. Richard Leonard wouldn’t touch you with a tarry pole and now candidate, Monica Lennon takes the same view.

I wonder what millionaire, Anas Sarwar will have to say to that.

After this, I suspect that even his answer will be a polite but firm Nah!

UPDATE

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Nah, Dougie, mate. It wasn’t working with unionists. It was working with Tories. There’s a difference.

Both candidates know that your party is toxic. The UK election after they joined with you in UKOK and Better Together, they lost 97% of their seats. They’ve never recovered. And if that’s not enough, look at what happened to the Liberal Democrats after their coalition with your party in London. I suppose you could try Willie Rennie, although as 5th largest party out of five, I’m not sure that even if he agreed, it would do you much good. Especially as his English boss just ruled out re-joining the EU.

Afterprints Danger Hazardous Toxic Waste Skull Bones Symbol Metal Aluminum  Sign 12x12: Amazon.co.uk: Garden & Outdoors
Scottish Labour to ditch Better Together alliance with Tories in IndyRef2 -  Daily Record

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Caption?

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I noted that Parler, the hard right social media platform, so favoured by Trump and his supporters, shut down recently because none of the app providers wanted their companies to be associated with it, had among its contributors, the ever lovely Tories James Cleverly, Nadine Dories and the Brexit Burger, Michael (Sniffy) Gove. Steve Baker and Ben Bradley also joined up along with other less known names from the Cons.

Mad Nad.

I’ve often wondered why the broadcasters here pronounce the name similarly to “parlour”, when the obvious way to me, would be “parlay”…as it presumably means “to speak”. Anyone?

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Ain’t he pretty, all dressed up in his party frock?

The SNP has been accused of being out of touch because they have launched an independence task force at a time when well over 50% of the population wants independence. Meanwhile the Noble and Aristocratic Lord McConnell says from his vantage point on a comfortable red bench, that the bulk of us don’t want a referendum at the moment. He probably thinks we should wait till 2055, like his friend, De Pfeffel Johnson. It’s the rarefied air that the upper classes breathe that does it, methinks.

So 57% want independence, but they don’t want a referendum, you Nobleness… Is that what you’re saying?
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Ummmmmmmmmm… But Boris has launched one for the 43% so they don’t feel left out and to show how much he loves them he’s put Michael Gove and some bloke who lost his seat at the last election, in charge. Isn’t he just lovely!

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Where would we be were it not for the wisdom and kindness of our betters… The Noble Lord Sumption, for example?

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Priti Patel: A timeline of how the scandal developed from a family  'holiday' to a near-certain sacking | The Independent | The Independent
I was looking for a picture of the Home Secretary, but this bag lady will have to do.

Has anyone worked out how the Home Office, under Ms Patel, managed to lose so many important criminal records? I thought they did daily backups of information of such import.

I saw this tweet which might be the answer…

Hazie @DavidHazie

I work in the scientific research & everything is backed up, you can only ever lose a days data at the most. Considering how important info on criminals is, you’d imagine the Home Office would at least do the same or has it been outsourced & that’s the real problem?

Whatever… it does seem really inefficient even for for global Little Britain and its notoriously chaotic Home Office!

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If this is correct and if millionaire donors are the people who decide the leadership of the party, then it’s not much of a surprise that Richard Leonard was sacked. I guess his coat was on a shoogly peg when Sir Keir took over the England and British branch. They have very little in common. I wonder though, what Sir Keir has in common with ordinary Labour members in Scotland. Mr Sarwar, on the other hand…

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Thanks, Brenda, for drawing my attention to this poetic masterpiece.

SOPPY SUNDAY

1. Hello everybody. Munguin’s sent me to welcome you to Soppy Sunday. Now I’m off to play. You have fun. Shout if you want anything.
2. Another smiley face. Loads of happy animals today…
3. Brrrrrrrr….
4. Even the roads look like spaghetti in Italy.
5. Did someone say “breakfast”?
6. Angus countryside must be among the nicest in the country.
7. Lions need a lot of sleep. And it’s not called beauty sleep for nothing. How else would we get so handsome?
8. I’m watching you…
How Thimphu became the capital of Bhutan | The story of Thimphu city
9. Thimphu, Bhutan.
10. That Andi bloke been out again with his camera. I’m wondering what he pays for sittings. Loads of grubs, I hope.
11. Who’s driving?
12. Munguin in his office doing a quality check on last week’s Soppy Sunday and negotiating a fee with that squirrel. How many nuts?
13. Who could ask for more.
14. You haven’t been flossing like we agreed at your last appointment, have you?
Manatees: Fact or Fiction Quiz | Britannica
15. I’m not really sad… that’s just how manatees’ faces are.
16. All dressed up in best finery for a night on the town.
17. The Blue Mosque, Mazar-i- Sharif, Afghanistan.
18. Winter in Finland.
Abortion in sheep - consider vaccination now to prevent losses | Agri-Food  and Biosciences Institute
19. This is our field. You need the password to get in.
20. This is one of our teachers. She’s a rather strange looking Orangutan, but she’s nice enough anyway. Oh, look… time up. You’ll have to go now. See you next week.

Thanks to Dave A, Dave S and Andimac.

ALL A BIT FISHY

One of my big problems with the bunch of incompetent muppets who comprise the current BritNat government is that they don’t take anything seriously.

The Tories seem to have lost most of their grown ups over the last few years and have replaced people like Anna Soubry, Dominic Grieve and Ken Clarke with a mixture of dimwits, even dimmerwits and utter jokers.

Victoria Prentis MP writes about Boris Johnson for the Banbury Guardian |  North Oxfordshire Conservatives

For example, the woman who had a measure of responsibility for fishing and the EU (ie the English fisheries minister Victoria Prentis) was organising a nativity trail on Christmas Eve when the Brexit deal was agreed. Obviously, this meant that she didn’t have time to read it, because clearly Christmas had to come first (and presumably there was no one else bright enough around in Oxford to organise a nativity trail???) .

To be honest I’m pretty certain it would have made no difference at all if she had read it. Almost undoubtedly she wouldn’t have understood it, or what it meant for the fishermen, with whom I suspect she has precious little contact in her constituency in Oxford.

It also came to light that Ms Prentis’s solution to the problems with exporting fish to the EU is that we should eat it ourselves.

Well, maybe we’ll have to, but being fed the vast numbers of Mackerel that are landed by British boats may stick in the throat of even the most Blitz Spirit-enthused Brit. Mackerel past, Mackerel pie, Mackerel stew, Mackerel Goulash…?

Obviously, people like Jacob Rees Mogg wouldn’t consider anything as coarse as Mackerel for a meal, but I’m sure he’ll force feed it to his servants.

With half the fleet tied up and fishing boats losing income, I imagine that the fish are somewhat relieved. And Mr Rees Mogg, who is paid to work in parliament…on a sizable hourly rate… is telling the so-called Mother of Parliaments just how happy being British (and presumably NOT being caught) is making them.

Seriously, this is the British government!

Can someone please get me out of here?