I HOPE WHEN THE DRUNKEN ASHTRAY GOES BACK TO ENGLAND, HE DOESN’T WEAR A POPPY

BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT THE BRAVERY OF THE BRITISH ARMED FORCES DOESN’T COMPARE WITH OLD BONE SPURS THE GOLFER

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OK, let’s do a quick translation.

Dear Brave Donny,

I’m a washed up politician. Well, I say politician but, rather like you, I don’t really actually do any politics. But I love being up there getting adoring racist muppets cheering at me for saying outrageously stupid stuff and making impossible promises. (Have you tried the one about $350 million a week for…oh wait, you don’t do health care, do you?)

You have to agree. Lying to morons feels so good, especially when you can make money out of it.

I’ve had a great deal of experience internationally. I’ve skipped meetings in Belgium, Luxembourg, England and France to go to the pub. I have turned up on occasions to make a big speech and then to turn my back as they played the European anthem. Pretty smart, huh?

However, I am kind to old ladies and often see them across the road while pulling faces.

Nigel Farage in Plymouth on Brexit Party election campaign - live updates -  Plymouth Live

The thing is, though, I achieved my aim. I got Brexit done all by myself with my own fair nicotine stained hands. (OK, OK, except in Jackland where I was escorted from their capital by the local police who don’t seem to be nearly as friendly as our good old British bobbies).

Protest planned for Nigel Farage's Brexit Party rally in Edinburgh -  Edinburgh Live

They speak strangely there, by the way. It was almost as ghastly as being in Belgium or Luxembourg. Does anyone know what “GetTae” means?

So, I find myself, your brave magnificence, in a situation where, having achieved all that I desired, I’d now like to try something different, preferably in a totally new environment, as far away as I can reasonably get from England before the proverbial hits the proverbial, as it were.

I am willing to travel, although I prefer not to do so in Europe, but I do have a nice new German passport. I don’t want to have to speak foreign a language though. I’m sure you agree that there’s nothing worth saying that can’t be said in good old English. I’ve sometimes sat on a train in England and listened to people speaking foreign around me. I can tell you, I gave me the shivers.

I enclose a copy of my CV (sorry about the beer stains and the fag burn) and I hope that you will cast your brave and resilient eyes over it.

Yours deeply respectfully to the point of utter nausea.

Nige

xx

****************

45 thoughts on “I HOPE WHEN THE DRUNKEN ASHTRAY GOES BACK TO ENGLAND, HE DOESN’T WEAR A POPPY”

    1. Interesting article, PP.

      Few surprises except that Rishi Sunak is popular here. I can’t imagine why, except that in a bunch of utter no-hopers, he stands out as being slightly less useless.

      It would have been interesting to know what Scots thought of the Scottish Secretary (or if they even know who he was or is).

      https://itisintruthnotforglory.wordpress.com/2020/10/27/whats-he-for/

      Maybe also what they thought of DRoss seeing as he seems to think that he’s done a great job! Pfffff.

      And finally, what they think of Gove, as he is supposedly heading up a team of people who will use taxpayers’ money to fight…erm…taxpayers…and making his customary mess of it.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Although non-drinker, non-smoker Trump doesn’t share Nigel’s alcohol and tobacco habits, they surely share the things that really matter to right wing demagogues; a hatred for foreigners, particularly the dark-skinned variety, and a skill at sowing hatred and division in order to destroy the very fabric of civil political discourse and democratic government itself. Whether Nigel is, like Trumpy, a mentally deranged sociopathic narcissistic moron who’s dumb as a stone, I can’t say. As for personal checks written by a self-confessed misogynistic sexual predator to pay hush money to porn stars, not to mention personal income tax evasion; that’s surely a level of personal and public corruption that a British politician could never hope to achieve. America on the other hand……..

    As I understand it, Nigel hasn’t really enjoyed very much electoral success as a politician. In America however, corrupt self-serving con-artists like Trump have a limitless constituency of right wing red-necked morons to lavish praise on them, wear red MAGA hats, and vote in great numbers. Hard to know what “genius” in the Trump campaign…..(I would guess Trumpy himself)……thought that it’d be a great idea for Nigel to come to Arizona to campaign for him.

    Speaking of semi-educated back woods rednecks, I immediately think of Mississippi, and the last time Nigel came to America to campaign for Trumpy in the 2016 campaign. The MAGA fanatics at the rally were apparently told who Farage was and were whooping it up pretty good…….UNTIL he came to the phrase “a bunch of unelected old men in Brussels.” It comes at about 1:45 in the video, where there is a clear reduction in the crowd response, since the Trump-loving yahoos obviously didn’t know whether they were supposed to cheer or boo at the Brussels line. Then he goes into details about the Brexit campaign, and it’s clear the crowd doesn’t really know what to do. The media reliably reported confusion in the Mississippi audience about what the hell he was talking about.

    Jackson, Mississippi…..25 August 2016:

    Looks like Nigel played to some small audiences in Arizona before Trumpy showed up for Wednesday’s MAGA rally in Tucson:

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Conan…..Yes, it’s surprising that Trumpy could spout the gibberish he does without being substance-abuse compromised in some way; but then when you slow it down to half speed, he does become “drunk Trump.”

        I would have supposed that he was probably lying about never having had a drink, but coincidentally this morning, a piece ran in the New York Times about Trump and Biden both being teetotalers. Mike Pence is a Bible-thumper who never drinks either, so that leaves Kamala Harris the only one of the four running for the White House who boozes it up.

        No wonder nothing gets done in Washington anymore. Backroom deals over bourbon and branch water was once what made the place operate.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh dear.

    Criticises President Obama for his interference (something I agree with him about) and then he interferes in the US election. OK, President Obama might be considered a little more important than Nigel Farage in the great scheme of things, but the principle is the same.

    I’m mystified about the “old men” in Brussels.

    At the time the top people in Brussels were not particularly old, and certainly younger than Trump.

    I’m also interested in what way he thinks that Britain is a functioning democracy in anything other than that’s how it chooses to describe itself.

    Thanks for posting the videos, Danny.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Tris…..I’d say that Nigel’s Brexit/Brussels message fell pretty flat in Mississippi in 2016. This time he stuck with flattery…..[Trump is] “the single most resilient and bravest person I have ever met in my life.” I think I also heard him say something on the video about attending a public event at “sort of a tavern way out in the desert.” The man can find a pub, even in the Sonoran Desert of Arizona. πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 2 people

  3. “I’m also interested in what way he thinks that Britain is a functioning democracy in anything other than that’s how it chooses to describe itself.”

    Point.

    In a three dart count down, one hundred and eighty!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What intrigues me is how Farage came to be such a great pal of Trump. The Brexit party is a fringe party of no electoral significance. Farage only got into the European Parliament because the BBC gave him publicity and the majority of people didn’t bother with European elections.

    How does Trump even know who he is? Or is he on the payroll?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. No idea.

      Trump must have been told about Brexit and thought that the UKIP party was behind it… which in a roundabout way, it was, in that if UKIP hadn’t been looking likely to take Tory MPs away from his party,Cameron wouldn’t have held a referendum.

      Farage probably said nice things about him and we know how he loves flattery.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Tris…..Steve Bannon was involved as I would have imagined. No doubt Bannon admired Farage for his far right nationalism. Check out”The New Yorker” link I just posted in reply to Dave. I remember the chaos of those early days after the 2016 election, when Trump was taking congratulatory calls from foreign leaders without them being routed through the State Department and answered according to international protocol. It was during this confusion, that Farage showed up at Trump’s apartment.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Dave…..Far-right for sure if not farther right than that. πŸ˜‰ Steve Bannon, one of Trump’s senior White House advisors (until Trump fired him,) was part of the Farage connection. When he ran Breitbart News before his White House service, it became associated with the “alt-right” (alternative right) movement…..usually considered to represent some flavor of white nationalism. Today, Bannon is facing trial. Wiki: “In August 2020, Bannon was arrested and he and three others were charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and money laundering in connection to the We Build The Wall campaign. He has pleaded not guilty and will stand trial in 2021.”

            So Farage is probably steering clear of Steve Bannon these days, but obviously he’s still friends with Trumpy. πŸ˜‰

            Liked by 1 person

    2. Dave…..A story published in “The New Yorker” after the 2016 election relates Farage’s description of how he managed to become the first foreign politician to meet with Trump, just four days after his election.

      Outside the golden door of Trump’s Fifth Avenue apartment…..November 12, 2016:

      The New Yorker…….”Nigel Farage on the Story Behind His Friendship with Trump” :

      https://www.newyorker.com/culture/persons-of-interest/nigel-farage-on-the-story-behind-his-friendship-with-trump

      Like

              1. Well, it may surprise you to know that neither Munguin nor I have ever used the facilities in one of her many palaces, so I remain ignorant of that.

                Maybe as they are royal they do not require bathrooms?

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Dave……I’ve noticed that gold piano in her Christmas messages. From what I’ve heard, a gold piano would have been beneath Liberace, however suitable that might be for mere royalty. πŸ˜‰ I think I read that a piano Liberace used in his Las Vegas act was covered with a finish of crystals and diamond chips. Probably caught the light wonderfully…..LOL.

                  Liked by 1 person

  5. In the Politico article at one point it says “The poll found that the most persuasive argument for staying in the U.K. among swing voters, which 69 percent agreed with, was β€œan independent Scotland is a step into the unknown”
    Surely now more is known about how an independent Scotland would be than a Scotland as part of the UK but out of the EU would be? No one in the UK government seems to have ANY idea on what Brexit means!

    Liked by 2 people

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