JUST FOR A LAUGH

jkbo
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
bre
6.
dave and gerry
7.
jphnjke
8.
andij
9.
jpke2
10.
3jke
11.
jkej
12.
brendaj
13.
jpkeandi
14.
joke
15.
fridge
16. Boris’s first call in Scotland.
bridgeb
17.
Erik joke
18.
rt5
19.
20.

Thanks to John (and Erik), Brenda, Dave (and Gerry), Andi.

 

 

43 thoughts on “JUST FOR A LAUGH”

  1. Just for the distinction of being first off the mark – and I’m already late. The sun’s been up for more than an hour here. And as Andi and I were last in on SS, might as well keep that up. Really liked your McIan-style rendering of McPfeffel. And his admiring clansman, or sept follower, more accurately.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Blast, pipped at the post again… always the bridesmaid, never the bride, or something, more likely something.

      Ditto your sentiments on Andimac’s McPfeffel, John, though when I first read “sept follower” my traitorous reading neuron said “septic”. Bad cess to the both of them anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sorry about that, Ed. Especially after the double distinction of having you declare me the ultimate winner of yesterday’s Golden Groan Award. If it’s any consolation on missing out on first off the mark today, I share your faulty reading neuron. I’m often pulled up by what looks like a particularly arresting headline or part of a sentence – that on closer inspection turns out to be quite unremarkable.

        And as my GG prize, it would be a great pleasure to welcome you to Bulgaria and membership of the KKK. Not Danny’s lot but the Kalinka Krew Kollektiva who gather at our village tavern, Kalinka’s. (Drinking is difficult with a white hood on your head.)

        But that could be a good excuse for my latest ‘scene and misheard’ KKK episode. Hearing neurons seem similarly affected to the visual.

        We’d somehow got talking about powdered potatoes (as always, KKK pub discussions are on an exalted intellectual plane). I thought this was a relatively new invention – Cadbury’s Smash, late 60s or thereabouts – but the Colonel insisted they used to be part of army rations in his long-distant youth. Steve agreed. Even in his relatively more recent army days.

        “They came with the Tampax,” said the Colonel, prompting the predictable response from me. “Tampax? For English soldiers?? What on earth did you do with them? Stick them in the your rifle barrels to keep the rain out? Add a longer piece of sting and a drop of oil and use them as pull-throughs to clean the inside of the barrels?” (Both good ideas I thought.)

        But then came the equally predictable chorus: “He said TEN-PACKS, you deaf old bugger!”

        Seems the army were issued with ration packs containing 10 items. And Tampax was not among them. Typically sexist English discrimination, I contended. Surely even then there were women in the army? Or were they issued with 11-packs?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. There’s a word for mishearing song lyrics that I can’t quite remember.

          For years I thought the line from Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds that reads “the girl with kaleidoscope eyes” was “the girl with colitis goes by”.

          I was a fairly confused teenager at the best of times.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. “. . . word for mishearing song lyrics . . . ”

            mondegreen

            I think there is another Greek name for it (there is a Greek name for everything), but I can’t remember it either.

            Liked by 2 people

            1. Mondegreen – comes from “They have slain the Earl of Moray and Lady Mondegreen”. It should be, “They have slain the Earl of Moray and laid him on the green.”

              Liked by 3 people

        2. Oh, I forgot: there’s a speech phenomenon (it’s one of the ways languages evolve) whereby speakers anticipate the next sound they’re going to make and the synchronization between lips, teeth, tongue, breath, larynx/ voice and what have you changes. One of these involves anticipating the sound that’s coming next. Native speakers are used to these phenomena and will process the signal “correctly”, by which I mean they will sort of autocorrect what they’re hearing. For example, if you deliberately say “tem men” instead of “ten men”, your native English-speaking audience will swear blind if you ask them afterwards that you said “ten men”. Thus tampax / ten-packs.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I think Pic 8 is being a bit unfair to the quiz-contestants.
    Yes, their ridiculous answers are hilarious, but I am sure that away from the cameras and lights, with time to think, they would all come up with more plausible answers, if not necessarily the right ones.

    And who on earth composed Follies?
    I know a bit about musicals and their composers, but I’d be stumped on that one.

    Oh, and as the first customer of the day at the local off-licence, I can seriously relate to Pic. 15.

    Like

    1. Okay folk might not know who composed Follies (though showing off I did – it was Stephen Sondheim) but surely they know that Beethoven wasn’t American. Mind you Sondheim is a German name so maybe it’s not that off base!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. PP, I always thought Beethoven was a Dutch name, though he lived (or was born?) in Bonn.

        Still, at least he doesn’t have chocolate balls named after him.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Gosh I never knew Beethoven was a Dutch name. Every day a school day. I love this about MNR – the wealth of info you pick up from the other commentators. I now wondering whether Sondheim is German! It sounds it…

          Liked by 1 person

    2. Yes, I don’t have a clue who wrote Follies, but I’d have guessed at Sondheim, not Beethoven.

      That said, I’ve no idea how I would managed under pressure and on air.

      Munguin agrees on 15. Obviously, he doesn’t use an off licence. He sends his factotum to the Towers’ extensive caves. But it’s the same thing really.

      Like

  3. The ‘Just Fancy That’ one is a real conversation starter.
    So, I like a lot of people were under the impression from the EBC that the Russian, USSR, people were so poor that they had to queue up for all the basics of life.
    Now we have the situation where cameron and clegg opened the door to Russians with a bank balance of £10 million.
    Not only are there millionaires in the category but Billionaires, who are so wealthy that they’ve become tory party supporters, who would have thought it.
    From the lands of the people own everything to the removal of the resources by friends and relatives of Yeltsin.
    Yes money certainly talks, and loudly.
    Saw the other dom on Sky tv news at the weekend, boy was he seating under the Spain issue, the idea that they should only restrict the movement of people from local areas in Spain and not the WHOLE country. Strange that oor Nicola was getting pelters in the media for even thinking of the same at Gretna.
    Some government that has 2 ministers on holiday in Spain as of now, sounds like a panic move we all have to fall in line with as the subject is not devolved, only the health part is.
    The super news is that the onionist nationalists have found their Messiah, george galloway.
    No laughing at the back. The only man I know of who supports freedom for peoples around the world but his own Nation must remain a colony

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s hard to believe that anyone could take him seriously for anything.

      He has, to my knowledge served two separate constituencies in England, both of which made it very clear that he had been a totally useless MP.

      The guy is a laughing stock.

      More power to his elbow though.

      Like

  4. Pic 10 was me on Saturday except that I was walking from the house to the shop. I was just as grumpy with myself as that bird appears to be, though.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My sister/sons/daughter, have been supplying the hard stuff to me the past few months. On my second day of release I reached the bottom of the hill I live on before I realised my mask was in my jacket pocket. My other jackets pocket… cue vulture. My first pint of Stewart’s 80/- was worth it though. So was the second.
    Apologies to Tris for not posting more often, my brother in laws’ last few weeks on this earth have meant many posts abandoned due to angst and running, hobbling rather, to the house phone.
    Stay safe everyone.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Really sorry to hear your news, Conan.

      We did comment about your absence, but we know that life sometimes overtakes us and, although Munguin may have difficulty understanding this, there are at times things which are more important than his Republic.

      I’m glad you’ve been able to get some 80/- though.

      How does it taste through a mask?

      Like

  6. I must admit it took me a while to remember the name of the bespeckled one.
    Perhaps it is just old age creeping up on me and also,of course,haven’t seen anything of him for a very long time.
    Anyway the unionists keep digging up these relics from the past.
    Reminds me of an old Jethro Tull song,Living in the Past.
    We need to move on and so should he.
    Dylan’s song,The Times They are a Changin’ (and that appears to be Rupert Murdoch’s as well) is more apt and so should he if he really has Scottish interests at heart (ha ha).

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Just for a laugh,
    the handcock is going to have tested all returners from Spain, symptomatic or not.
    They’re in panic mode.
    Portugal is on the list of ‘not welcome’ but has a lower rate than France.
    How to make friends in Europe.
    This pandemic is clearly not over yet and the doris is now saying it will be all over by next ‘SUMMER’, after saying back to normal for xmas.
    Can we believe the stats from anyone?
    Why is Scotland not doing the same as the bowel cancer in over 50’s for the population, testing for antibodies, didn’t I read that they were detecting the virus in sewage.
    Just another laugh, king billy in waiting is a SNOB, says his young brother, now there’s a thing you wouldn’t expect from a future king.
    Decided to watch a netflix programme on Victoria and her 9 children, sounds much like now, the main thing that put me off continuing was the participants declaring that victoria was hard done by and didn’t get the support required by a ‘SINGLE MOTHER’, dozens of servants on hand.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes and his young brother.
        Interesting report that victoria had her male children physically chastised by the servants.
        In the programme the youngest son reportedly complained that Archie? Brown hit him with a spoon as his tutor.
        Albert, Edward, was routinely beaten for not being able to study, now thought to have a place on the spectrum. Became king none the less after victoria held on into the new century.
        Victoria’s husband Albert was a full cousin.
        Gave up as the programmes suggested it was Alice that was the go between with government, read elsewhere that victoria had a hand in the commander choice for the Zulu war.
        A strange family that kept uiet to keep their money and influence during the European changes. Remember there was no real Germany, it was still a number of individual estates.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, the poor old soul living on poverty in all these manions, castles and palaces. What is a poor widowed woman with 9 children to do.

      Fancy William being a snob. I rather suspect that in fac it is Kate Middleclass that is the snob. But he’s just a puppet on her strings.

      I just wish the whole lot of them would take early retirement, or go and live somewhere else.

      I’m sick of hearing about them.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. The Beethoven answer reminds me of a reply from a music critic who was asked by someone not really into classical music;

    “Is Beethoven still composing?”

    “No madam, decomposing.”

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Very good, particularly like Tory Story with small print, “candour and competence may vary, choking hazard.”
    A much needed morale boost.

    Liked by 1 person

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