JUST FOR A LAUGH

Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs, Florida, read an ad in the newspaper for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do and decided to apply.

 

She submitted her resumé to a Florida lemon grove but seemed far too qualified for the job. She has a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and a Master’s Degree from Michigan State University.

 

For a number of years, she had worked as a social worker, and also as a school teacher. The foreman studied her application, frowned and said, “I see you are well-educated and have an impressive resumé. However, I must ask whether you have any actual experience in picking lemons?”


“Well, as a matter of fact, I have,” she said.  “I’ve been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, and voted for Trump.”

 

She started work yesterday.

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Thanks to AndiMac, John (and Erik and Brendan), Wilson and Brenda.

 

75 thoughts on “JUST FOR A LAUGH”

  1. Excellent cartoons again, andimac. Much appreciated, Tris; the “Remove Child before Washing” particularly amused me. It is important to remember that people from other cultures have senses of humour too…

    Liked by 3 people

  2. The moving to Spain and paying the health insurance for uk freedom hit home.
    I think this is called porridge thinking, no real structure or foundation.
    I like my porridge in the winter months but as a method of thought through planning its a bit cruel.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Aye, Tris, free for the rich and powerful to treat the rest of the population as insignificant, worthless and contemptible, and make them pay with their blood, sweat and tears for the rich and powerful to become even richer and more powerful. Victorian values! Dickens, where are you now? As Scrooge said, “Are there no workhouses? Are there no prisons?” The post-WWII social contract will be fully abrogated and there will be no more public services that actually benefit ordinary people. The hoi polloi will get food poisoning, methicillin-resistance bacterial infections and BSE and from cheap chlorinated chicken and cattle fed on offal, antibiotics and hormones; the rich, however, will dine on organic, free-range fowl and prime Wagyu beef, and consume non-GM vegetables and cereals imported at great expense from Europe. Every public good will be privatized to maximize the incomes of the already obscenely wealthy… except, of course, the bits they liberate for their own personal use.

        No, I don’t want to live there either.

        Liked by 2 people

          1. Hm. I believe Hans-Adam II, Prince of Liechtenstein, Duke of Troppau and Jägerndorf and Count of Rietberg, resides in Vaduz Castle, Tris. Of course, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind moving into a camper van in the grounds if Mr. Munguin wanted his billet for himself, or possibly into another of his residences. I’m sure that Mr. Munguin and the Prince would get on like a house on fire: the Prince is the wealthiest monarch in Europe, after all (though I don’t know whether my information source considers England to be part of Europe).

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Once upon a time, I nearly quite literally dropped in on Vaduz Castle:

              Twa Twa-Heidit Earns

              Ae day efter lowsin, Ah traivelt bi train owre the border til Owstria.

              The neist day, Ah sklimmt a muckle great ben caaed for thrie titties*.

              At the tap was a syle o concreit ti staun as mairch-stane, wi the twa-heidit earn o Owstria on the ane side o it, an the like burd o Liechtenstein on the ither.

              Gin Ah’d faan aff the tap eastlins, Ah’d hae cam doun wi a dunt, an deed a republican daith.

              Gin Ah’d faan aff the tap wastlins, Ah’d hae laundit wi a stott at the fuit o a Habsburg prince.

              *Drei Schwestern, 2,053 m

              Liked by 1 person

                1. Cats are very inventive animals, always finding new ways to kill themselves.
                  Nine lives not being enough.
                  They are quite bouncy when alive, but deid anes dinna stot.

                  Liked by 2 people

              1. Brilliant, DonDon…

                If you wait a little while, you won’t need to be climbing muckle great ben and feel inclined to fall off, you will be able to partake of a very reasonable afternoon tea with Munguin (for a very reasonable price I might add). 🙂

                Liked by 1 person

            2. Munguin was thinking of letting Hans-Adam have the use of Munguin Towers. But if he’s THAT rich, he can stay at the Ritz in St Tropez.

              Munguin isn’t a charity, you know.

              Like

  3. Usually with Britnats,they are accused of cherry picking but in the case of this particular idiot,more likely to be orange picking.
    BoJo’s dad off to Greece,via Bulgaria and probably travelling on his shiny new French passport.
    The Britnats seem to like Europe but are not prepared to contribute to it’s continuing success.
    Maybe we could use them to do tattie picking here in Scotland now that they have cut us off from our supply of European workers?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Thanks Andi! Great Fourth of July cartoon!
    I thought sure I would be able to find a quibble, but I couldn’t. The flag does indeed have 50 stars! Nicely done! 😉

    Uncle Sam, Trumpy, and the American landscape well done too!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. LOL Tris……Excellent idea! 😉

        I just wish they’d finish the sculpture they have. It looks so terribly unbalanced.

        Gutzon Borglum died in 1941, money ran out, World War II was raging in Europe, and clearly, war was coming for America……..so they just declared it finished!

        It was meant to be waist high statues of the presidents. Borglum got George Washington carved down to his lapels, while Lincoln’s face is barely out of the rock.

        As it was conceived:

        Liked by 2 people

          1. LOL……yes, that library thing might be tricky for him. 😉 The New York City liberals will never let it be built there.

            I’m surprised he didn’t think about finishing Mount Rushmore. After all, at his Rushmore speech, unhinged even by Trumpian standards as he banged on about “new far-left fascism” to rile up his troops, he vowed to build a “National Garden of American Heroes” that will include statues of “historically significant Americans.”

            The man DOES love his statues (or is at least sure that his crazy right wing followers do)……and DOES so want to honor the traitors of the Confederate States of America, a right wing Supreme Court Justice, and the Bible-thumping evangelist Billy Graham……to name a few. Or so he says. 😦
            No lefties allowed in Trump’s “Garden” surely.

            https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2020/07/statues-trump-include-national-garden-american-heroes.html

            BTW, even Ronald Reagan had trouble finding a place in California to take his library. It was initially planned for the Stanford University campus, but that caused a row at Stanford, in ultra-liberal northern California. So it ended up being built down in much more conservative Southern California in Simi Valley, near L.A.

            Liked by 1 person

              1. Tris…….I’m sure that he doesn’t own any. He’ll have no books for his library. 🙂

                I only heard clips of the speech too. I can’t stand to listen to him for any extended period.

                A Fourth of July speech by a president should be “Presidential”….full of patriotism and history (the good parts of history), with good wishes for all Americans. Instead, he turned it into a political rally…..and a nasty one at that! Full of hate for his enemies, using rhetoric intended to divide and inflame. It was a speech more suitable for a typical (nasty) Republican party convention, not for the Fourth of July at Rushmore.

                The whole thing was made worse by its implications for the pandemic of course. The Trump loving right wing Republican governor of South Dakota made a point of saying that social distancing would not be observed, and anyone who was concerned about that should stay home.

                https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/were-no-1-in-a-pandemic-thats-no-cause-for-celebration/2020/07/02/66a20440-bc96-11ea-80b9-40ece9a701dc_story.html

                Liked by 1 person

                1. From all I heard it was indeed, a disgrace, lacking in dignity and gravitas, like the guy who delivered it.

                  As for the arse of a governor of South Dakota… has he heard whats happening in Florida?

                  I see, too that they have had to reintroduce lockdown in New South Wales and Victoria.

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. Tris……The big states, even the red ones, here (like Texas and Florida) are having to scale back some their reopening plans due to the huge new outbreaks.

                    Kristi Noem, the governor of South Dakota, caught a lot of political heat and gained national (and even worldwide) attention when she refused to order a lockdown of South Dakota when an outbreak of Covid occurred at a meat processing plant in the largest city of the state, Sioux Falls. She got by with it because not a lot of people live in South Dakota, and it was largely confined to Sioux Falls. The only other city of any real size (more than 50,000) in the state is Rapid City (Black Hills – Mount Rushmore area,) over on the opposite side of the state from Sioux Falls.

                    There was an article in the Guardian at the time.

                    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/apr/21/south-dakota-covid-19-coronavirus-freedom

                    I suppose in one way she’s no worse than the average Republican governor spouting Chamber of Commerce business boosterism, but it really is annoying to watch her constantly kissing Donald Trump’s backside. She kept the state open while Trump was attacking Democratic governors for locking down their states. It was mostly about keeping Trumpy happy.

                    She’s on FOX News a lot of course. With FOX’s odious Sean Hannity:

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. LOL……Yes Tris, I think you have her plan for unity and healing all figured out.

                      Is she as stupid as she sounds? Well, she served four terms in the House as South Dakota’s one and only Congressperson. So she met the primary Congressional requirement. 😉

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. Maybe that’s what that Louie Gohmert is on: magic mushrooms. He’s both unbelievably stupid and raving mad, to the point where a concerned family would stage an Intervention…

                      Liked by 2 people

                    3. Ed…..Yes, Louie Gohmert is certifiable…LOL. On the other hand, I’ve always thought that he just might be the intellectual linchpin of the Texas delegation. 😉

                      At least Louie is always good for a laugh. On the other hand, Steven King, from the 4th Congressional District of Iowa, was downright nasty in his opposition to all immigration and multiculturalism. Finally, he went too far even for the Republican Party when he publicly declared support for white nationalism and white supremacy. The GOP leadership stripped him of all his committee assignments and withdrew the support of the National Republican Congressional Committee. He was defeated in the GOP primary and won’t be with us in the new congress. 😉

                      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louie_Gohmert

                      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_King

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. TBH, I cannot help but laugh at a bloke who thinks it is reasonable to be a white supremacist nationalist in a country whose native population is brown.

                      The other day, a neighbour was telling me about his granddaughter living in Australia who was bemoaning the fact that so many of her neighbours were immigrants.

                      She who was born and brought up in Scotland… Needless to say I was going to be polite and say nothing, but Munguin goaded me into pointing out the utter ridiculousness of her view.

                      I expect he’s not speaking to me now… thank heavens.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    5. Ed…..Yes, Steve King is a nasty piece of work. For a long time, the GOP leadership looked the other way, since he was popular in a safe Iowa congressional district.

                      Of course, all the southern segregationists in the old days were nasty people, (Democrats back then,) so it was understood how they would vote, and the Democratic congressional leadership was OK with it since their presence helped keep the Democrats in control of Congress. And of course the old Democratic “solid south” gave the Democrats the southern electoral votes in presidential elections. (That’s why FDR didn’t do anything about the southern race problem.)

                      Today the “solid south” is solid Republican, but the racism can’t be as obvious and open as it was back then. So Steve King became an embarrassment to the Republicans and they got rid of him.

                      Liked by 2 people

                    6. Thus, after LBJ signed the Civil Rights Act in 1964, (as Bill Moyers reported) he said “I think we just delivered the South to the Republican party for a long time to come”.

                      Liked by 2 people

                    7. Tris…….I love the Australia immigrant story! 😉

                      Yes, Americans can be very forgetful about the brown skinned people who were here first. The Civil War era Fourteenth Amendment to the US constitution defines birthright citizenship in a way that applied to the former slaves, but the courts subsequently held that it did not apply to Native Americans. So an “Indian” was not a United States citizen by birth in his own land until the passage of the Indian Citizenship Act of 1924.

                      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_Citizenship_Act

                      Liked by 1 person

                    8. I thought you might like this…

                      I think I can understand why he would pay someone to do his SATS, like his niece says.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    9. Danny, I didn’t know that, about Native Americans not being citizens in their own land until 1924.

                      Australia – in Australia, I read that Native Australians were considered part of the local fauna right up until the 1960s. White supremacy remains alive and well today in parts of Australia.

                      It seems to be a feature of people who develop the quaint notion that they and their group are superior to others: they take other people’s land, commit genocide against them, and despise them for ever after.

                      Liked by 2 people

                    10. You actually couldn’t make that crap up.

                      I always think it’s hilarious that some people can’t wait to get out into the sun and get their skin to go brown and… then look down their red and peeling noses at people who don’t have to sit in the sun all day to get that look.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    11. Ed……..Yes, as Lyndon Johnson anticipated, it didn’t take long after the Civil Rights Act of 1964 for the old traditional post-Civil War Reconstruction Democratic “solid south” to become the Republican solid south. You’re probably familiar with Richard Nixon’s “Southern Strategy”, which is the historical racist root of the modern Republican party.

                      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_strategy

                      I liked you comment: “It seems to be a feature of people who develop the quaint notion that they and their group are superior to others: they take other people’s land, commit genocide against them, and despise them for ever after.”

                      Interesting that when you Google “United States Citizenship”, you find virtually no constitutional wording on the subject before the Fourteenth Amendment of 1868. While the original constitution uses the “word” citizenship, and seems to imply that it might have something to do with native birth, it doesn’t actually define it. For example in Article II, Section 1, Clause 5, it sets forth the eligibility requirements for serving as president of the United States:

                      “No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President…..”

                      So the framers had an idea of a “natural born citizen,” but do not actually define it…..except to say that Congress may determine a procedure for naturalization. (The constitution’s preamble begins “We the People of the United States”, where it might well have said “We the Citizens,” and the Bill of Rights generally refers to “the People.”) So it was not until after the Civil War, when it was necessary to deal with the citizenship of the newly freed slaves……and overturn the 1857 Dred Scott Decision of the Supreme Court……that citizenship was actually defined in constitutional terms. (There was also in the early days and later the issue of citizenship in the sovereign states, and how that related to citizenship in the United States.)

                      But even after the passage of Amendment XIV, judicial case law and legislative statute excluded native Americans from natural born citizenship until 1924.

                      The first few paragraphs of an article titled “Citizenship In the American Constitution” by Alexander Bickel gives an interesting overview of what the Founders had in mind when they wrote the federal constitution in 1787. It’s on the Yale Law School website and published in Arizona Law Review.

                      https://digitalcommons.law.yale.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=4973&context=fss_papers#:~:text=The%20original%20Constitution%2C%20prior%20to,a%20uniform%20rule%20of%20naturalization.

                      https://digitalcommons.law.yale.edu/fss_papers/3957/

                      And a few words on the Library of Congress website:

                      https://www.loc.gov/law/help/citizenship/fourteenth_amendment_citizenship.php#:~:text=Citizenship%20is%20defined%20in%20the,the%20State%20wherein%20they%20reside.

                      Liked by 2 people

                    12. Tris…….Very well said! Looking down their red and peeling noses……LOL. Having a white skin certainly bestows privileges, but people apparently don’t seem to like it very much as they bake in the sun. 😉

                      Thanks for that Twitter link. Next month is traditional school reopening time, and Trump is on a tear about getting them reopened, so that on election day in November, people will not have the kids still around the house……reminding them of Covid and Trump’s utter and tragic incompetence in handling the pandemic.

                      Looks like Trump is not going to be able to get the new book suppressed. Passages are already being read on the air. Now we know how he got into an Ivy League school. We even know who took the SAT for him.

                      BTW…..some of the most devastating TV ads this election season have been produced by the “The Lincoln Project,” a very prominent group of anti-Trump Republicans who have endorsed Biden.

                      I don’t know if the videos will open in Scotland, but the video updates are all on the website.

                      https://lincolnproject.us/

                      Mourning In America:

                      Truth:

                      Names: (The Senators who are in reelection trouble.)

                      Liked by 1 person

                    13. Wow… That’s from Republicans?

                      Spectacular.

                      It looks to me more and more likely that he’s had it.

                      It’s hard to imagine that he’s going to insist on opening schools without the precautions that the medical people are insisting on.

                      Can he actually overrule state governors on that?

                      Oh well, we’d better get ready for President Biden, I guess, because he’s not going to learn from any of this.

                      Question: Is it not a crime in New York to pay someone else to sit an exam for you?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    14. PS Ed…….Of more immediate interest than constitutional wording about American citizenship might be some of the TV ads that have shown up now that the presidential campaign is heating up a little.

                      The “Lincoln Project” ads are some of the most effective I’ve seen. If they will open in Scotland, I posted a few in a reply to Tris. They are posted on the Lincoln Project website and can be searched on YouTube as “Lincoln Project.”

                      https://lincolnproject.us/

                      https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/trump-lincoln-project-video-loyalty-campaign-2020-a9606021.html

                      Whispers: (Lincoln Project ad that plays on his obsession about loyalty in subordinates.)

                      “Mourning in America”, so enraged Mr Trump that he tweeted furiously about the project’s team of “losers” throughout the next day, guaranteeing the ad a slot in the news cycle and helping the group raise some $1.4m.”

                      Liked by 1 person

                    15. Tris……Well, we can hope that old man Biden will have learned something from all this……LOL.

                      Anyway, if there was any doubt that Republicans are meaner than Democrats, we only have to look at the Lincoln Project ads. 😉 I’m going to watch their website for future videos, since not a lot of presidential TV ads run in Missouri, because there’s never a real contest for president here. Missouri always goes Republican.

                      One of the Republican founders of the Lincoln Project (as listed here in Wiki) is George Conway, husband of the odious Kellyann Conway, one of Trump’s top counselors in the West Wing. What a marriage they must have. 🙂
                      BTW, Steve Schmidt was John McCain’s campaign manager (or some such high title) in the 2008 run against Obama.

                      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lincoln_Project

                      Kellyanne Conway is a real piece of work. She invented the concept of “alternate facts” on the subject of Trump’s inauguration crowd. No wonder her husband George leads up the Lincoln project…..LOL.

                      The public education systems are state controlled. Trump has absolutely no control over when schools open in the states, although he can bluff and bluster the state governors, especially the Republican governors, about cutting off federal aid to school lunch programs for example. But he has no real control over that either, because that’s a matter of law involving funds appropriated by Congress. Trump is all bluster and BS, but it probably plays well with the right wing crazies.

                      Depending on state laws, even the governors may or may not have very much direct control of the dates school opens or how the instruction is done. School districts are very strongly locally controlled at the municipal or school district level.

                      Not sure about whether it’s illegal in New York to hire someone to sit an exam for you. Maybe we’ll find out. 😉

                      Liked by 1 person

                    16. Jeez, Danny. I remember the Kellyanne Conway and the alternative facts thing. I’m sure Seth did a take down of it.

                      He said it was the biggest inauguration crowd ever in the world. It was possibly the smallest. And that wasn’t a lie; it was an alternative fact. A bit like if I said I was the King of Norway and the King of Norway said I wasn’t, which I’m clearly not, except in alternative facts ville.

                      LOL As you say, it must be fun in their house. Conway seems to me to be the only member of staff (apart from the weird one who tried hair attachments… Steven Miller?) to still be with Trump. Everyone else has gone bye bye.

                      Yes, I suspected that schools wouldn’t be a presidential responsibility and that demands for their reopening were him talking through some orifice or other.

                      I saw that in England, their secretary of state for Education said that he would prosecute parents if they didn’t send their children to school when they open.

                      Good luck with that, you walloper, I thought.

                      That’s Gavin Williamson who was sacked by May for disclosing defence secrets when he was defence secretary for the UK.

                      The blond bombcrater surrounds himself with criminals and liars.

                      It will be interesting to find out what New York makes of that exam thing.

                      I’m suspecting that it’s fraud.

                      Imagine you had someone sit you medical finals…?

                      Liked by 1 person

                    17. PS: I couldn’t sit through her jabberings. I got half way through and thought…. Nope, life’s too short.

                      With a voice like that, even if you were on the same side, it would be a nightmare to live with her. I dunno what her husband is like, right enough. Maybe he’s just as revolting!

                      Liked by 1 person

                    18. Tris…..I suspect that George Conway is just as annoying when he wants to be as Kellyanne is. He’s a big shot Washington lawyer and a right wing Republican who was considered for a post in the Trump Justice Department, before he split with Trump. She’s a lawyer too, but has made her career as a pollster and political operative. She served as Trump’s campaign manager for a time, and with Stephen Miller, is probably among the longest serving members of the staff. I can’t think of any other major staffer except Conway and Miller who hasn’t been fired before now.

                      George and Kellyanne appear to be quite the political power couple on the Washington social scene.

                      https://i.insider.com/5c927b0a401d58448b40eef2?width=1136&format=jpeg

                      The Lincoln Project is somewhat controversial among the political pros, since there’s some question about whether or not the TV spots are actually effective as campaign ads. There’s also concern about motives. It’s suggested that the motive may mostly be personal animosity toward Trump among a group of right wing Republicans who are pissed off that he came along and spoiled their party.

                      https://www.thenation.com/article/politics/lincoln-project-trump-militarism/

                      Gavin Williamson sounds like as much of a BS artist as Trump. Maybe worse; since even Trump hasn’t been crazy enough to declare that he’s going to arrest parents who won’t send their children to reopened schools…..LOL.

                      Yes, Trumpy lost big at the Supreme Court today, which ruled that the president is NOT above the law, and must comply with correctly drawn subpoenas about his taxes, etc. The two vacancies he filled on the court with Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh voted AGAINST him in the 7-2 ruling. He’s been Tweeting outraged Twitters of protest…..LOL.

                      https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-rages-at-supreme-court-over-tax-records-case-claims-political-prosecution/ar-BB16xndb?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=hmlogout

                      https://www.businessinsider.com/kavanaugh-gorsuch-rule-against-trump-in-supreme-court-tax-case-2020-7

                      Liked by 1 person

                    19. LOL. There’s gratitude.

                      I see he thinks that the courts should give “deference”? In other words treat him like they wouldn’t treat a normal citizen.

                      Of course it is true that in the UK the Queen is above the law. That may be true of other countries that she is head of state. This is becasue the law is enacted in her name.

                      Cases are “The Crown v Smith”. She is the Crown.

                      So you can’t have “The Crown v The Crown”.

                      The rest of her family are not above the law. Princess Anne has been done for speeding.

                      And Airmiles may find himself in a situation where the Crown is v the Crown’s favourite child.

                      Liked by 1 person

      1. The top part is interesting too. It shows how the press has ramped up what happened at the borders.

        There are two sides to every story. I don’t know what actually happened. A sensible government would put in place restrictions on travel, as has happened elsewhere in the world.

        As for the second story, I saw that last night.

        We were forewarned it was going to happen… the building of the massive new Scotland Office in Edinburgh and the taking on of new staff. It was pound to happen after Brexit. The UK now needs to control so much in our lives that it will trade-off in deals. Wales and Scotland will have to be a part of that. Northern Ireland has escaped the worst of it by de facto remaining a member of the EU at the same time as not remaining a member of the EU

        I just hope that the takeover will spur the government here to take some action. I’d have thought that what was granted in a referendum, could not be arbitrarily taken away because that’s what Mr Cummings wants. But, Mr Cummings seems to be a law unto himself.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Not for a laugh,
    The doris has just put the blame on care home owners for the high death rate from covid.
    Looking forward to hearing carlos jackass do a u-turn now that his boss has allocated blame.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Could someone help me with the exact expression, and the author?

    My garbled version is something like, “the way we treat immigrants is the way the government would like to treat all of us.” Canaries in coal mines or summat.

    I am pretty sick of the idea that the private sector should have any locus whatsoever in asylum provision.

    My query to you good folk is because of this:

    https://www.thenational.scot/news/18565158.asylum-seekers-claim-prevented-talking-media/

    I am finding it a bit hard to credit that GCC lost a bid to provide asylum accommodation in Glasgow in favour of Mears. Just out of curiosity, had anyone heard of Mears before this whole COVID 19 explosion? I certainly hadn’t.

    Bit off topic, I know. But I think it might be important.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Valid question, Douglas.

      I suggest that the answer is in any one of a collection of two words:

      Home and Office
      Priti and Patel
      Tory and Party
      Dominic and Cummings
      Big and Donors
      and
      Utter and Bastards.

      Liked by 2 people

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