DON’T SWEAT IT, MATE, JUST TAKE AN EARLY BATH…

Image result for prince andrew pictures

Despite being warned most strongly by his PR staff (whom we pay) that taking part in a television interview on the Epstein affair would be seriously inadvisable. HRF, the Duke of Airmiles, decided that he knew best and went ahead with it anyway.

So his PR manager resigned… doubtless certain in the knowledge that if it all went horribly wrong, which he was sure it would, he, and not Fatso, would get the blame, the tubby one not being renowned for his humility.

So off went Porky Yorkie to the tv studio, or to be more correct, there not being a suitable helicopter available to transport him… the tv studio came to him!

Image result for prince andrew pictures

And boy, did he ever make a mess of it? Despite it being a deeply respectful interview taking place in one of the royals many homes, he managed to cock it up, well and truly, whilst educating and amusing us in equal measure.

We learned that he seemed to be blessed with no real memory at all (given that he can’t remember the 17-year old who was allegedly trafficked for him), but at the same time, he is blessed with total recall (as he remembers absolutely where he was 20 years ago on that particular evening when the girl was supposedly with him, and that it was at Pizza Express in Woking…a rather odd place for a prince of the blood royal to be. He remembered because it was one of the lazy princess’s birthdays and his wife was away,  and they always made sure that one of them was there… [sweet], so he was definitely buying her tea a fast food place).

Prince Andrew

Of course, he and Mr Epstein didn’t really know each other that well. He vaguely knew Epstein’s girlfriend (dodgy admission to make given the crime for which Epstein was in prison for the second time), and he and the billionaire got to know each other through her.

They maybe saw each other casually a few times a year, according to the duck.

However, despite this most casual of relationships, when Epstein came out of prison after his first incarceration, Tubs felt he had to fly over to the USA, to tell the man that he couldn’t see him ever again… (do royals not use email?) and he also felt honour bound to stay for four nights at one of the paedophile’s  mansions and be the guest of honour at a party Eppy was throwing.

He explained that though. Turns out it was because he was just too honourable for his shirt…or something.

Image result for pizza express woking

We also learned that for sometime after the Falklands conflict in the early 80s, he was unable to sweat, so it couldn’t have been him that was getting off with the 17-year-old, because she had said that the person impersonating him that evening (while he was having a pizza with one of those blood princesses), was glowing like a pig. Must have been the chilli peppers on the pizza, methinks.

Yeah… if I’d been him I think I might have listened to my PR person. The matter, which had been one of little interest to a tiny number of people prior to the interview, was now front-page news in newspapers, and the top story on tv news bulletins, halfway around the world.

Image result for prince andrew pictures

Over the last few days, charities, universities, and other organisations both in England and elsewhere that have had the Grand Old Tube of York on their headed paper have ditched him. He has become a massive embarrassment.

And I heard on the news tonight that he has decided (or someone has decided for him) that he should stand down from royal duties… or at least the two or three things he actually did every year for his massive stipend.

That’ll be a huge loss to the country, right enough, but on the bright side, we can probably all claim a tax rebate on the basis that we won’t any longer have to provide helicopters to take him to parties or on visits to dictators.

Who am I kidding? Like the rest of that family when they retire, he’ll carry on squeezing us dry.

[PS: Incidentally, the single princess, Beatrice, was about to get married and might have expected us to fork out a few million for the carriage drive through Windsor, but it appears this may no longer be likely and they may have to nip over to Woking Registrars and pop over to the Pizza place for the breakfast.]

42 thoughts on “DON’T SWEAT IT, MATE, JUST TAKE AN EARLY BATH…”

  1. Wow!

    Apparently only lizards don’t sweat. ( as per the Wee Ginger Dug, and elsewhere.)

    Correct me if I am wrong, but the ability to sweat is what keeps most of us alive? Y’know, adjusting for temperature and such-like? Human beings appear to be utterly compromised if they can’t do that.

    He, it appears, has zero need to deal with that. Quite astonishing that he is not in something like a medical bubble and on 24/7 care.

    I detect bullshit.

    Your views?

    Liked by 5 people

    1. You didn’t take into consideration that he has blue blood… however, you did mention Lizards, so you probably have it about right.

      I’d have said that the lazy git doesn’t ever need to sweat as we pay people to do everything for him…

      … but then there is his erm… oh god I think I’m going to vomit… sexual activities. Or maybe he gets a vassal to perform them for him too?

      Liked by 5 people

  2. Sometimes, when I look at my wrists, some of these vein thingys look a deep blue.

    Blue blood?

    Probably not. Just something else I should share with my Doctor, although I have had it since childhood.

    On his superiority, I doubt many folk up here subscribe to that.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Naw, it is more a blacky blue.

        Certainly not royal blue.

        Bloody hell! When I joined the SNP I had no idea that I was supposed to defend colours. Beyond the obvious.

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  3. Naturally, the New York Times published His Royal Highness’ statement in its entirety. The royal family now Tweets I see.

    It seems that the pizza-gate scandal has eclipsed the row between William and Harry, who are on “different paths at the moment,” and about Meghan’s anguish with being a royal and having nasty tabloids invading one’s privacy, and all the strain that has put on the royal marriage.

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  4. Just had a quick look at EBC shortbread website.
    A wee correction for them.their top story is ‘Scottish railway carriages dropping sewage on the lines’
    Should read ‘Earl of Inverness retires from PUBIC office’
    A small point about the actual railway carriages, they are Second Hand from englandland, not newly designed to meet the requirement to store the HoneyPot contents until serviced at the depot.
    In the past aircraft discharged the liquids overboard,now the Honeypot is emptied and disposed of sensibly.
    So while we are getting the propaganda service from EBC scotland, maybe they might rewrite their lead story.
    Airmiles is also baron killyleagh. with a personal wealth reported to be £57 million salted away froma stipend of £270,000 a year from you and me,plus his service pension.
    He’ll still order up a helicopter to take him to the golf course.
    The second daughter’s wedding will be on us.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Is it too much to hope for, as I have wished all my adult life, that the house of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha will simply take their ill-gotten gains, in other words our money, and retire permanently, all of them.
    Alas, I fear there are too many amongst us who are of the opinion that this bunch of retards, who have treated us as mugs for centuries, as something special, and must be preserved at all costs.
    I just don’t get this bowing and scraping to anyone, and I include in that people, especially so-called socialists, who have accepted tin-pot titles as a reward for being good little boys and girls, and being subservient to the state.
    I am resigned to the fact that even after we gain independence, it will take many years to divest ourselves of these freeloaders, more is the pity.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. I agree with every word, Alex.

      I can’t for the life of me, see why one human being should be subservient to another.

      Of course, in work, you have a boss and must, if you want to keep said job, follow his or her orders.

      But for any other situation… Nope, don’t get it.

      No one is “better” than me, and I am “better” than no one.

      So I treat the lad sitting outside TK Maxx with a tin in front of him, the same way I would treat the First Minister or the queen… ie as another human being. I can’t understand why people would do otherwise, unless they were after something that the queen or first minister could give, and the boy begging outside a shop could not.

      I’m not entirely sure if that makes me a socialist.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. This bill was in response to Indyref1. They had a series of consultations for Joe P. a while back, one in Edinburgh as I recall and they were so poorly publicised they were almost a secret.

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  6. Off topic, I saw this interview with Micheal Gove on Twitter yesterday. Apart from the customary lying, evasion, obfuscation and disingenuity (I think that’s a word but you know what I mean anyway) at 6:12 I was interested to hear him refer to ‘Scotland being cemented in the Union’. Was it just a Throw away comment or was it a worrying slip adding fuel to what many of us fear?

    New Act of Union anyone? It’s oven ready.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You could add foolishness, Andi.

        Remember he was the one who announced a policy in the Commons based on an interim report complied by his civil servants, then blames the civil servant when it turned out to be tosh.

        He also presented a King James bible to every school in England with his name in the front. I wonder how many have been opened.

        And then there was the changing of the literature curriculum to include Milton and metaphysical poets. At O level. Although, as I recall he hadn’t actually ploughed trough any of it himself.

        He’s an idiot and a rather unappealing one at that.

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    1. Interesting interview. Gove isn’t really very good at deflecting though.

      I wonder how he would have felt if the SNP or Labour or the Jo Swinford for prime minister party had done a fact-checking site masquerading as an independent site.

      He consistently lied there, and he doesn’t do it very well. Someone at CPHQ must have told him to repeat over and over that the journalist was doing a good job, but clearly putting across his own views (or that of his channel). It seems to me that might have been ok, maybe once, but he went on and on about it, trying to use up the time allotted to the interview. And someone must have taught him a new word, “polemic”. I lost count of the times he said it, while he refused to answer the questions.

      The stuff about Scotland was ridiculous.

      He wants to put that through a fact-checker.

      I’ve always thought that, in the day and age of television and internet, along with intellect, vision and an ability to work hard, politicians need to be voter-friendly.

      They must be appealing. That could include having a good voice, a pleasing smile, reasonable looks, etc. OK, it’s superficial… but so are people.

      Michael Gove has none of these things… and he doesn’t have them in spades!

      Politicians should be careful, too, about telling us what we want.

      You win no people over by implying that you know what they want better than they know.

      I wonder if Michael Gove will ever win anyone over to his point of view.

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      1. Couldn’t he just say it’s a war of words,that’s a nice argument you’ve got there,here’s one I did earlier,just pop it in the microwave,gas mark 6,ready to go.
        But the interviewer didn’t have an argument he was asking a question to which gove says,polemic.
        Or is that doris’s method of communication?
        They’re all singing the same hymn, ready for xmas,
        Oh come all ye stupid people or words like that.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Because he’s a still old sausage, who just learned a new word.

          And he was desperately trying not to answer questions to which the only reasonable answer was… Polemic, well, yeah, I’m a liar, we are liars. I love Boris Johnson. I hope my wife isn’t too jealous, although she loves him too.

          Oh did I say Polemic and the SNP are driving everything they have responsibility for into the ground. Whereas under Boris Johnson, the sun shines brighter and the birds sing louder and it’s always sunny and Channel Four are fake news.

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  7. He’s a paedophile. End of story.

    Epstein was murdered to cover up scum like paedo Andy (and Charles – his time will come).

    If you doubt what I say then explain how a cell with the same 24/7/265 surveillance (same building as “El Chapo”) can have a suicide. The 24/7/365 surveillance is a minimum of two officers watching the same camera for 8 hours. Explain how Epstein hung himself – NB there wasn’t enogh drop to snap his neck so it’d have taken a minimum of 5 minutes for him to strangle (more like 20 in most cases).

    Paedophile scum who we pay for is one thing but them being hung out to dry in the middle of an election is another thing. Ask yourselves why….

    Oh look a BIG squirrel.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Andrew hasn’t so far been accused of being a paedophile. Nor has Charles.

      Andrew is accused to having sex with a 17 year old. That is not paedophilia. Some people might see it as inappropriate but it’s not illegal. Rich old men often have affairs with, or marry much younger women… and I suspect that the same goes for rich old women.

      If this sex happened in the UK then it is not illegal. It it was in New York State I believe it is illegal but it is still not paedophilia, which, as I recall is “sex with pre or peri pubescent children”.

      I don’t really doubt that he was murdered. It seems highly unlikely that a high profile prisoner on suicide watch would have been left unattended. But why would the prison take the risk. The guards whom they accuse of neglecting their duties by playing computer games (is that likely) will have to be punished becasue one way or the other, they either contrived to be a party to murder, or were incredibly incompetent and neglectful of their duties… the neglect culminating in the death of someone under their care.

      Serious crime.

      I’m not convinced by anything.

      I dislike any kind of sexual crimes against anyone, but I think we should refrain from accusing people of heinous crimes, for which we have no absolute proof, even if they are people we don’t like.

      Most particularly Munguin doesn#t want to be sued, because rich as he is, he fears that royalty would be able to outspend him on lawyers.

      However, I do agree that it comes at a convenient time to take the hard of thinking public’s mind off false accounts, blethering minister and Liz Truss, who must surely qualify for the “stupidest person on the planet” contest..

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      1. Nobody is going to come out and directly accuse him of being a paedophile unless they can bribe every judge in the UK, for that’s where the slander/libel case will end up.

        You won’t get sued for my comments (which I stand by 100%) as its clearly my opinion and nobody has told you to take the comments down. ie you are NOT responsible for what I say.

        Andrew, “Duke of York” is a paedophile. He has been a paedophile probably since school days and certainly long before he met the odious Ghislane Maxwell.

        Charles won’t ever be king because he’s much the same – only he was active in the 1970s where it appears “they were all at it”…..

        Liked by 1 person

        1. As long as it is clear that this is not the opinion of the blog. Because, I have no real opinion on the sex lives of the royals.

          Indeed, the very thought makes me want to vomit.

          So, I prefer to keep their activities, or any speculation about them, far distant.

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  8. A piece in The Atlantic titled “Callous, Careless Prince Andrew,” with a devastating description of the royals. “Privileged obliviousness is the royal family’s default setting.”

    Maybe oblivious royal cluelessness runs most strongly in the family of the Duke of York. Princess Eugenie at her wedding read a passage from “The Great Gatsby” to describe her future husband. She must not have understand what the novel is all about, since the description she read is of Gatsby himself.

    “He smiled understandingly—much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life.”

    “How delightful—except that the man [the novel’s narrator] is describing is Jay Gatsby, a con man who weasels his way into high society through flattery and charm. It’s all about people who… ‘smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.’”

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/royals/opinion-callous-careless-prince-andrew/ar-BBWWYkB?ocid=msn360

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      1. LOL……..hard to know which would be worse. The princess not having actually read Fitzgerald’s book that she’s quoting, or reading it and not understanding it.

        Lord Clarke had a low opinion of the intellect of the British aristocracy. And there’s David Starkey, an historian and all around intellectual on the BBC who’s publicly declared himself unimpressed by the Queen’s inability to carry on an engaging conversation with him. Probably doesn’t get invited to the palace much I guess. 😉

        Liked by 2 people

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