Voice of Reason
If the Scots keep voting for the SNP it’ll be time for England to finish what Hadrian started…… We can use the money saved from scrapping HS2 to build it. That is one infrastructure project in the North we can all get behind.
news hadrians wall
Dear Voice of Reason,
Jolly good idea, old chap.
Of course, one of its shortcomings is that Hadrian’s wall doesn’t actually mark the border between England and Scotland, as anyone with 2p worth of education knows.
In fact, it only goes near the actual border at its most western point.
So what you are actually proposing is that a chunk of England should be handed over to Scotland (and presumably, by your reckoning, the SNP).
Have you checked this out with the Geordies?
(You might like to note that the people of Northern Ireland vote exclusively for Northern Irish Parties, so they should probably be handed back to the Irish?)
Of course, I don’t actually disagree with any of that, but I am wondering if you’ve thought it all through.
I have to say that your tweet, quite rightly, was met with derision, including this article from the Independent.
News English teenagers
Still… Rule Brittania, as they sort of say… sometimes…when they are having a lark!
Kind regards

48 thoughts on “LETTER FROM MUNGUIN”

  1. (World-weary sigh) Yahoos are not, nor have they ever been, in short supply in England (or elsewhere, granted); they predate Johnathan Swift, who made up that term for them back in 1726 (a fact I think I know thanks not to my vast erudition on this occasion, but to my peerless googling skills) . Well, they would have to have predate him, wouldn’t they, or he wouldn’t have been able to make up a term for them, now would he? Stands to reason, guv.

    I shall remember the other piece of information, about English teenagers being the worst-educated in the developed world, next time one of the Usual Suspects starts frothing and fulminating about the havoc on Scottish Education wreaked by the dastardly, dastardly Nicola Sturgeon and her legions of zombie-like, brainwashed Cult members in the SNPBAAAAD. All in her copious free time when not busily destroying NHS Scotland. In another piece of distressing news, we in Scotland send more of the age group into higher education than anywhere else in the UK and our NHS is the best-performing in the UK: Nicola Sturgeon and the SNPBAAAD are not nearly as competent as the Tories are at destroying things!

    Still, chins up, you chaps and chapesses in Englandland: the article is dated January 2016, so we hairy wee Jockanese could have taken over the bottom slot since then, right? Though of course you made that a bit difficult what with voting for Brexit not long after, didn’t you, which we Scots were not obtuse enough to do and still think is a supremely crass, stupid and self-harming notion in the first place… maybe we really don’t have as many Yahoos in our society as you do down there.

    See how incompetent that Nicola Sturgeon really is? Can’t destroy a national health service or a national education system nearly as well as the Tories can, or even create Yahoos as fast as some political parties can build social housing!

    Liked by 7 people

  2. Or build a navigable canal/moat along its northern edge, heat it by wind generated electricty and fill it with salt-water crocodiles to stop any crossing from their side to ours (or indeed, any from our side to theirs- although Yoons could get free passage).

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Well I did want Berwick back but if they want to donate more, then fair enough. Most of it seems to be National Park anyway and it’s easier to put border controls in Newcastle than through a park 🙂

    Ohh you mean Hadrian’s’ wall just a saying, a bit like “dead in a ditch” though not “once in a generation” which is promise if you are SNP but a saying if you are Corbyn…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well spotted , Gerry, the Geordies are more like us Scots.
      The Cumbrians are still more like Italians from Rome.
      Thinking the HS2 will go ahead but the trains will be replaced by big wooden packing case busses, painted red, blue and yellow, doris’ colours.
      Lord fatage of brexit will be the chairperson.
      Good jobs to be had for bricklayers along the new border as the bad snp haven’t spent any money looking after it in 2000 years, very poor project management.
      Maybe swineson will do some work at Cumbernauld rebuilding the Antonine Wall IF she manages to keep her seat, a nice statue of thatcher and maybot at the gates will be welcome in Milngavie.
      Our colonial masters will provide the barnet funding.

      Liked by 4 people

        1. I think swineson’s idea of the border is that it’s placed at the Watford Gap just north of London and only those south of the border actually have any say is matters politik.
          The crossrail project is way behind schedule so it’s unlikely I will see the first trains running at medium speed up to Birmingham in my lifetime.
          The cross sewer project is necessary to remove waste material from westmonster.
          I’m coming to think that I just might see an independent Scotland in what is left of my stay on the planet, we are here but for a short time.
          I’m sure that the SNP will increase their numbers in westmonster this election BUTT fear for the push by the tories and their MSM propaganda machine. That’s 4 maildrops in 2 weeks from the tory party in Scotland, they’re running scared BUTT have plenty of cash it seems.
          This is a big worry that they’re manipulating the constituency spending limits just like the liedems did in East Dumbartonshire.

          Liked by 2 people

          1. Aye Jake,
            Always has been a problem in the area.
            The Town is DuMbarton but the county is usually DuNbartonshire.
            The Gaelic source is of course Dun Breatann, with Dun being the Fort or the heap, fortress is daingneach.
            So the fort of the Britains, a different people from the Angles who seem to have taken over the name.
            Old maps available in Dumbarton library have both spellings for the county as the Anglicisation of the Colony progressed.
            I was born in Dumbarton in the county of Dunbartonshire.

            Liked by 1 person

              1. Thanks for that update.
                Must be the strange phonetics she uses that confused the typist.
                The history of who owned which parts of the area are strange.
                The church owned the area near Cumbernauld and Kilsyth and it was a part of the parishes of Dumbarton.
                A trade off left the area as East Dunbartonshire although it is far from the border of Dunbartonshire, this occurred, I think, around the 1850’s when the Rotten Burghs were removed from the parliaments.
                The town of Helensburgh had an MP all of it’s own and Dumbarton’s MP was elected from the people of the town plus Kilsyth area.
                A relative of mine was the last MP for that area, Joseph Dixon.

                Liked by 1 person

        2. Do we want her? I mean being open and inclusive must have limits.

          Her command of accents after all should allow her to fit in anywhere else. Apart that is from England of course because with the exception of a few words here and there, she doesn’t seem to have mastered any of those yet.

          Liked by 1 person

        1. Aye Edd,
          Forgot the hot air that gets emitted from all his orifices.
          The Eddy Mair interview did him no favours just confirmed a chancer of the first order.

          Liked by 2 people

      1. Jake, this is an amusing piece. You are taking it far too seriously!

        In any event, and just for laughs, why is Wallsend’s markers far short of the sea? We could just sneak round.

        I’d have thought that our sea boundaries, annexed by Englandshire, might be the subject of a lot less amusement.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Hmm…

    This is, apperently, what the USA does to friendly allies. If you replace the word ‘Ukraine’ with ‘Scotland’ every so often it is a tad obvious how ruthless the USA can be.

    That, ladies and gentlemen is no society attempting to spread freedom and goodwill! It is a money grubbing polluting arsehole of a country. Led by someone who see’s that as the name of the game. With a cut, wherever possible. I quite like Tulsi Gabbard, and she has so little support amongst mainstream American voters that she is unlikely to even become the woman to challenge the Fat Controller. ‘Tis a sad momenent in world politics for the USA to be led by a man who is so obviously corrupt and whose obvious opponent is denigrated beyond reason, even by the brain dead Hillary Clinton.

    America has to find a soul for itself. It is argueable that it ever had one, but still.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t help but think that when Trump said he “has concerns” about corruption in Ukraine he meant that they weren’t corrupt enough for his taste.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’d say that Scotland has a couple of thousand years of solid legal precedent for redrawing the border.
    I enjoyed Jim’s comment and Tris’s reply about installing a moat with crocodiles along the wall.

    Who would have thought that walls would be so much in the news these days, and be so controversial? The roomful of officials and reporters fell silent for a moment when our Mr. Trump suggested to the Taoiseach that a wall could play a part in resolving the Brexit issue in Ireland. I wonder what Trumpy thinks of Hadrian’s wall. Or if he’s even heard of Hadrian’s Wall. Or of Hadrian; or of Robert Frost.

    Some may say that “Good fences make good neighbors,” and yet “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall.”

    ……Robert Frost

    Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
    That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
    And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
    And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
    The work of hunters is another thing:
    I have come after them and made repair
    Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
    But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
    To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
    No one has seen them made or heard them made,
    But at spring mending-time we find them there.
    I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
    And on a day we meet to walk the line
    And set the wall between us once again.
    We keep the wall between us as we go.
    To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
    And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
    We have to use a spell to make them balance:
    ‘Stay where you are until our backs are turned!’
    We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
    Oh, just another kind of outdoor game,
    One on a side. It comes to little more:
    There where it is we do not need the wall:
    He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
    My apple trees will never get across
    And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
    He only says, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.’
    Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
    If I could put a notion in his head:
    ‘Why do they make good neighbors? Isn’t it
    Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.
    Before I built a wall I’d ask to know
    What I was walling in or walling out,
    And to whom I was like to give offense.
    Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
    That wants it down.’ I could say ‘Elves’ to him,
    But it’s not elves exactly, and I’d rather
    He said it for himself. I see him there
    Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
    In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
    He moves in darkness as it seems to me,
    Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
    He will not go behind his father’s saying,
    And he likes having thought of it so well
    He says again, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.’

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Tris…..As much as has been written about walls lately, I’m amazed that I’ve never read in the national media a reference to one of the most famous pieces of American verse by arguably the most famous American poet of the twentieth century.

        Although Frost is most closely associated with New England, he was born in San Francisco. His mother was a Scottish immigrant, and his father was descended from a seventeenth century immigrant from England. Frost was first published in England where he lived for a time.



      1. Ahem trispw. Maybe on a nation state level, but not, perhaps on a personal level. You have around 2800 folk that like your stuff, including me. Perhaps we both have to realise that that is the extent of who are right and who are wrong?

        I kind of hope not.

        I will continue to argue elsewhere, but, with your permission, I will always call this home.

        Liked by 3 people

  6. When the French completed their inventory of what they had captured in 1066, aka The Domesday Book circa 1090, Cumbria and Northumbria were not included in England.

    In the following century David I held suzerainty over both but ultimately failed to consolidate those areas into Scotland.


  7. There was wild talk about the SNP standing in Berwick-on-Tweed, ’cause the locals preferred the benefits that Scotland had as opposed to what England gave them.

    Obviously, it came to knowt. Probably a tree died to tell us this, back then.

    Liked by 1 person

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