OH, I DO LIKE A LITTLE HOLIDAY, DON’T YOU?

Yo, Grumpy Face. If people weren’t interested in you, you and your family would be gone, tout de suite.

Not long back from a break in France at Elton John’s estate, Harry Windsor and his Mrs and Erchie have decided to take a six-week break in the USA.

I was thinking of doing the same, but don’t worry, Danny and Jon, I won’t be visiting. Munguin said that if I paid someone to come in and look after his interests, I could have next Friday afternoon off.

Harry would like to settle in Capetown, South Africa. Exactly why he thought that would be a good idea I’m not entirely sure, given that South Africa is a republic. And he wants to build a home in Botswana, also a republic.

Given that we have to provide him, his wife and his son with 24/7 protection, has it occurred to him how much this is going to cost the UK taxpayer?

Silly question. Of course he hasn’t.

Apparently, they want somewhere where they can have complete privacy and will not be disturbed. So how about the house that the taxpayer had done up for them at Frogmore on the Windsor estate? £2.4 million of our money wasted on a home that they need to leave to get privacy?

Frogmore, apparently a cottage that we paid £2.4 million to do up for Harry.

 

What’s wrong with Frogmore? It looks not bad to me. No privacy? On a royal estate? What is it? Neighbours popping in to borrow some sugar?

But really, how many ordinary homes could we have built for the homeless with £2.4 million?

And how many people can take 6 weeks off, just because they did a whole ten-days’ work touring in Africa?

OK, let me explain it in simple terms, Harry.

chair
Like she was born to it. 

You and your family, by and large, are an anachronism.

In order to avoid being overthrown, as an outdated and unnecessary expense, the palace, government and press made you all into little “celebrities”, a bit like Jordan or Kim Kardashian.

Your whole raison d’être is to provide entertainment for the easily pleased. Ant and Dec should be introducing you. Like it or not, that is how you are seen (and Boris Johnson has done his part in showing that even your grandmother is no more than his puppet).

If you don’t want to be in the public eye, we’re cool with that. God knows, it’s not like there’s a dearth of royal wasters. Your holidaying cousins Beatrix and Eugenie, your idiot uncle, Air Miles (although he too is keeping a low profile of late… I wonder why) and your brother and his wife, being carried around by ‘natives’ like they were somehow better than other people and deserving of the honour.

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Hey Willy, is that a great big spider I see crawling up your trouser leg?

So if you want to get out of the limelight, mate, sod off to Capetown or Botswana or Mars for all we care, but do it on your money or your family’s money, not ours.

If not, stop whinging, stop scowling and get on with your bloody job of being a minor celeb.

As my last boss (before Munguin) was wont to say, Fit In or F*** Off.

SOPPY SUNDAY

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Morning all…

friends
Don’t want to get my feet wet.

n arizona
Arizonans.

n bear
I got my mum to keep me warm.

n cottage
Wow. Don’t let Munguin see. He’ll expect me to recreate it next year.

n baby leopard
Anyone want a pussy cat?

autumn in switz
Autumn in Switzerland.

n skunk
Pretty little skunk.

n polly
Very pretty Polly!

n swan
I’m the black shee… swan of the family!

n mushroom world
World of fungus.

n harvest
Shine on harvest moon.

n puddock in martins hands
Stray puddock from Bulgaria (John).

wol hat
You like the hat? Bit like Robin Hood, eh?

nrb
Look, Look, Look to the Rainbow.

n buddy
Hello, little one…

n malaysia
Malaysia.

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Ouagadougou.

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Well, that’s another Sunday bitten the dust. See you next week.

A REALLY BAD DEAL IS BETTER THAN A BAD DEAL

Also, anyone know how much bribe money is now on the table for Northern Ireland?

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Anyone care to hazard a guess that the Scottish Secretary, Union Jack, is fighting for the same sort of money for Scotland, which also voted to stay in the EU?

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Does anyone know what constituency in Northern Ireland this loonie represents?

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Ross Thomson MP
As a Unionist I’m pleased that the new deal @BorisJohnson has secured ensures that NI will be in the UK customs territory forever. The anti-democratic backstop has been abolished. Meaning that the people of NI will be in charge of the laws that they live by. #GetBrexitSorted

LET’S TITTER AT THE BRANCH OFFICES

According to Richard Leonard, Labour’s branch office in Scotland would scrap the ‘work car park tax’. You know, the one that isn’t a tax and isn’t imposed by the government, but is a form of devolution to local authorities of tax, which thay may choose to implement or not.

Yeah, that one.

In fact, the one that Labour actually very much likedd and was going to introduce in Glasgow.

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Until, that is, the Greens and the SNP agreed to give the councils the power to introduce the tax if they felt so inclined. The, of course, it became a BAAAAAD idea.

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Mr Leonard said: “Many people across Scotland simply cannot rely on our crumbling transport system because it is more interested in profits than passengers.

“The solution to this problem is not to slap a new tax on getting to work, it is to transform our transport system. That is why Scottish Labour will axe the tax in government, bring our railways into public ownership and build a free bus network to serve communities across the country.”

He might well have added: “Labour will borrow Mrs May’s Magic Money Tree and shake it for all they are worth. We will be seeking advice from Arlene on how to get out hands on it.”

Because, although all of these ideas are excellent, they are, at the same time, costly. Free bus travel, for example, is a superb idea already introduced in some Scandinavian countries. What Mr Leonard doesn’t say is how he will pay for it.

This railways stuff it interesting. Again, a great idea.

Railways in the UK were privatised by John Major.

As I recall, Labour came to power in the UK in 1997 on a promise to re-nationalise them. But, for some reason, it didn’t.

Nor did the Labour-led administrations in Scotland in the first two parliaments even attempt to have the power devolved so that they could do what their bosses in London had promised and failed to do. Eight years in power and not a request; not a sniff.

The SNP, on the other hand, are working on this.

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On the subject of the branch offices havers, I’m told that following Nicola’s pledge that she will request a Section 30 from the government shortly, Jackson Carlot has said that the Scottish Tories (branch office) will never agree to that.

Erm, I think you’ll find, Jack, mate, that no one was, for a split second, even vaguely thinking of asking you. Well, above your pay grade.

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Image result for WILLIE RENNIE

OK, we should probably say something about the other wee branch office, I suppose, otherwise, they may feel belittled and left out… almost like they didn’t matter (snigger).

Um…

Let me see…

Hmmm…

Oh yeah, got it:

Willie Rennie is on holiday in Spain when he should be in parliament.

There! I knew he’d have done something of note.

GLOBAL BRITAIN (the pantomime)

PRESENTS THE MOST EXPENSIVE EVER PARTY POLITICAL BROADCAST ON BEHALF OF THE BORIS JOHNSON FOR KING PARTY

The panto begins 

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But who’s playing Cinderella?

She’s gonna be late for her big number.

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That’s how to deal with those Extinction Rebels, chaps, what what!

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Which one is the handsome prince? Oh, OK, they couldn’t get that bloke from Denmark, so there isn’t one. OK, we’ll just have to make do with Charlie Big Ears.

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They need that many to guard two old women and one old man?

waste.jpg
Seem to be really fond of red in England? Or is it just this season’s colour?

nonsens
Can one just polish one’s shoes when one is dine there?

waste1
The gentlemen of the chorus are a bit overdressed.

batten down teh hatches
Oh dear lord, give me strength. No wonder he was replaced by a man called Richard Braine. No, seriously, I kid you not! 

happy not
If looks could kill, Johnson would be in the Tower for making a complete fool of Liz for the second time in as many weeks.

 

 

THE VIEW FROM SCHLOSS FREEMAN

By Ed Freeman.

(This article previously appeared as a comment by Ed on an article in Scot Goes Pop)

Image result for britain and EU cartoon nicola sturgeon

On the subject of acceding to the EU or our continuing membership of it, our position should be that we never voted to leave, never wanted to leave, and our membership should, therefore, be seen as continuing uninterrupted.

Regardless of whether that argument holds water legally, politically, we must bang on about it loud and long and constantly, because both public and governmental opinion throughout Europe is already in our favour and because when there’s a will, there’s a way. The more the Westminster regime pis*ses the Europeans off, the better their opinion of our Government’s sane and rational behaviour on the European and international scenes, and our committed Europeanism.

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As the Scottish legislature and executive branch will deliberately not pass or make any legislation or regulations that conflict with either the European acquis or EU legislation and regulations passed during any interim period, and will continue to legislate as an EU member State would in order to keep ourselves up to date with applicable EU legislation (statements of intent and memoranda of understanding come immediately to mind), there can be no obstacle to our membership on those grounds. How the practicalities are organised is irrelevant in that regard.

The most important thing, in my view, is that Scotland should take its seat within the EU at the highest levels immediately on independence, and the number of our MEPs should be agreed and elected so that they can take their seats in the European Parliament as soon as possible. All our representatives should preferably have all voting rights from the outset, but should at least be able to be present as observers, while the ongoing and necessary legal, administrative and technical démarches (a technical diplomatic term for procedures/steps/approaches) are carried out and completed.

Image result for britain and EU cartoon nicola sturgeon

The reason for wanting those seats as soon as practically possible is that Scotland should immediately have a voice, an influential voice, in how the EU deals with England. This could hardly be of greater importance for us. We can usefully work with the Irish to form a common front, for reasons that are obvious. The EU already backs Ireland to the hilt – and we will both want and need that too.

We should be able to expect that work is ongoing to review all the international treaties, conventions and other applicable legal instruments which are binding on Scotland, and update and amend them to reflect our altered status as an independent State. We must also have draft treaty/treaties with England ready and waiting to be negotiated on immediately we vote for independence. It will be greatly to our advantage to have that work done in advance, because if we wait for Westminster to do it we could wait forever, and it can be guaranteed that anything Westminster regimes put on the table will be to England’s advantage and not ours: the notion of equal partnership is anathema to Them, because of that damned exceptionalism of the British / English Establishment.

There’s a great deal of preparatory work to be done before we regain our independence; we should and must not wait until after. The sooner begun, the sooner finished – and we want to have our independence become a reality as soon as possible after we regain it theoretically, which will be the moment a victory for Yes becomes official.

We must not let any Westminster regime stand in our way. We must not agree to let Them stop us or delay us because we must insist on our equal status as a sovereign State right from the start. If we do not insist on it, Westminster will continue to behave as if we were a colony or a province, and it will be the worse for us, as we will no longer have any MPs at all at Westminster to even speak on our behalf before being shouted down and ignored.