RECRUITMENT CAMPAIGN

Image result for ann widdecombe as revolutionary war pilot

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Her Majesty the Queen and her British “government” is looking to recruit a suitable person for a most senior post in Washington DC, that of

Ambassador (Lick Spittle)

Candidates should have the following diplomatic qualifications.

The ability to dress well for formal dinners and to eat without slurping soup or chewing with an open mouth (even when the host is doing it).

Total fluency in English. (Gaelic, Welsh, Kernewek speakers not considered). Even though the host is less than fluent.

The ability to dance at functions with people like Ivanka and Melania, should the successful applicant be male, or with Don Jr., or even Eric, in the unlikely event that a female be chosen.

The facility to translate into functioning English from “rambling nonsense” (when listening to or reading the inane twitterings of the resident head of government).

Image result for airports in the revolutionary wars

A sound understanding of American history, particularly as it relates to the use of aircraft and airfields in the revolutionary wars.

It is important that candidates be able to smile pleasantly while being bored witless by elderly orange men with a fear of descending stairs, and with that in mind, it is probable that the successful candidate will have an IQ somewhat under average.

Physical Requirements: A long tongue is also a necessity for this post.

Applications, in the first instance, should be sent to Theresa May (if you hurry) or either Jeremy Hunt or Boris Johnson, all c/o Widdecombe Farage Recruitment.

Clearly, the final interviews will be conducted in Washington DC by President Trump.

!ha

References will not be required.

This post is likely to be relatively short term, however, the pension rights and the likelihood of honours and antiquated titles in the near future make this an exciting opportunity for the right kind of creepy reprobate.

SOPPY SUNDAY ON MONDAY

Image result for orangutan baby
Morning. I’ve just been rescued by some kind people.
Baby Red-Bellied Woodpecker.
n sea slug
It’s a shame that someone as cute as me is a sea slug!
n pride
Proud of the pride?
n pus
Purrrrrrrrrrr.
n mates
Mates.
n opossoms
Opossum family.
n antelope canyon
Antelope Canyon is a slot canyon in the American Southwest. It is on Navajo land east of Page, Arizona. Antelope Canyon includes two separate, scenic slot canyon sections, referred to individually as “Upper Antelope Canyon” or “The Crack”; and “Lower Antelope Canyon” or “The Corkscrew”. Thanks to Danny for sending.

n antelope canyon, danny

nspiny lumpsucker fish
Spiney Lumpsucker Fish.
Image result for panda babies
Baby Pandas.
Image result for baby elephants
Just playing…
n scarlet tanager
Scarlet Tanager.
n skye
Skye.
n ora
Bet you can’t do this!
Image result for baby giraffe in wild
Wash your face.
n bedtime
Bedtime!
Image result for dar es salaam
So, where are we now?
n lift
Right, you. Get out of there!
Image result for orangutan baby
We’re sorry we were late, but Munguin’s factotum was sick. He still is (something he ate) so just talk among yourselves. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.

THIS COULD BE US

Population
• June 2019 estimate
Increase 5,519,586[3](114th)
• 2017 official
5,513,000[4]
• Density
16/km2 (41.4/sq mi) (213th)

RANDOM THOUGHTS

Sturgeon and HM the Queen

Oh, how the Express made me laugh today.

The headline read:

Shock as Nicola Sturgeon refuses to curtsy to the Queen as she visits Holyroodhouse

Actually, there is no evidence that she REFUSED to do so. She apparently simply bowed her head a little, which broke no protocol. So it was all a big fuss about nothing.

The article opened:

SCOTLAND’S First Minister Nicola Sturgeon showed no sign of a curtsy when she met the Queen yesterday. Instead, Miss Sturgeon shook hands as the monarch visited the Palace of Holyroodhouse – the royal residence in Edinburgh.

The Queen and Nicola Sturgeon

The Queen, 93, wore a floral dress for the meeting and appeared in pink at a garden party.

It appears that the Express just wanted to get some of its little old lady readers tutting and shaking their heads in horror. They will have been relieved that, without any further ado, they could read what the queen was wearing, both when she met Nicola and when she later appeared at a garden party.

Well, it’s important stuff, that!

So in case there are any little old ladies reading this and who give a damn, here is the pink outfit, because you can never have too many pics of Liz, right?!

The Queen

If you are gagging for further information, you should probably read the Express article, but I can save you the bother by telling you that Anne wore something green, Eddy looked a complete muppet in a top hat… and Andy Airmiles looked, well, fat.

Anyway, the point is Nicola didn’t make an almighty fool of herself like her English counterpart with her knees almost on the floor and her chest almost bared!.

Image result for may curtseys

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I’ve always thought that Ann Widdecombe was as mad as a box of frogs. I mean the only sensible thing she ever said was that Michael Howard had something of the night about him.

As a Home Office minister, she often said or did slightly bizarre stuff and then when she retired from politics and started being a “tv personality” she was even more outrageous, if less entertaining.

Image result for ann widdecombe strictly

However, in her latest incarnation, Widde is at her weirdest.

She seems to see Brits in the same light as slaves rising against a cruel master. ‘There is, she told the parliament, a long history of “oppressed people turning on their oppressors”.’

“Nous allons, wir gehen, we’re off”!

Well, Old Annie can add polyglot to her list of qualifications! 

I suspect that in these initial days of the parliament, people will simply laugh at the immaturity of the Brexit party with their refusal to face the front when “Ode to Joy” was playing and their idiotic speeches about being slaves and threatening to turn on Britain’s oppressors.

But I have a feeling that it won’t be long before the Europeans tire of this nonsense, which the BP is doing, presumably in order to stir up even more xenophobia at home, in time for what is becoming an ever more likely general election in the late autumn!

The answer to them may very well be:

Pour l’amour de Dieu, allez! Um Gottes willen, gehen! For God’s sake, go!

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Oh, welcome to Scotland, Theresa.

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LOONIES, THE LOT OF THEM

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magic money tree
A magic money tree that doesn’t have Arlene’s name on it?

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I have a feeling that this is the kind of behaviour that will only engender bad feeling with the EU. And that’s probably not what we are aiming at if we need the best possible deal.

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EDIT.

Someone just pointed out that this is not the first time someone has done this.

Image
Nazis in 1926 at the Reichstag.

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