Thanks to BJSAlba. Great selection this week.

joke egg


joke broken

Et juste pour rire…

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I say, you are hairy. I’m a kiwi, you idiot!


50 thoughts on “JUST FOR A LAUGH”

  1. Just listened to chris patton, lord patton of berdmondsey or some such.
    Last governor of Hong Kong. In charge of EBC when savile case broke.
    His story of visiting a hospital ward for mental conditions is appropriate.
    He told of being asked by a patient these questions.
    ‘Is Westminster the seat of the oldest Democracy in the world’?
    ‘Is the Chinese Communist Party leading to removing democracy in Hong Kong’?
    To both of these patton answered in the afirmative.
    To which the patient asked ‘ if you agree why are you the last governor of Hong Kong, sent from Westminster, handing over control of Hong Kong to what you agree is a Totally Un-Democratic State’?
    NO answer from patton to the patient.
    His excuse of course was, it wasn’t his decision and they hadn’t asked the Hong Kong people what they wanted, this was a mistake. He then went on to his part in trying out the Poll Tax first in Scotland, no hint of it being un-democratic to do it as Scotland was a region.
    Made great about his lowly start in life, born in Blackpool, went to private school, onward to Oxford, played cricket and rugby, taken on by the EBC as a trainee.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I always wondered why they rushed to introduce a “democratic” government in Hong Kong, when they had run the place for 99 years without any hint of democracy.

      Still, if things get heated the Brits can always send a gunboat… On, no, wait…


  2. Tories are not natural democrats.
    They do not believe in rules and regulations,other than of course their own ones,which is the main driver for Brexit.
    Taking back control,in their “minds”,means the eradication of any view other than their’s.
    That is the political direction of travel in their UK and if some Scots can’t see that,there is no hope for them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Absolutely bringiton. And after a “No Deal Brexit” has been enacted, Scotland will be ruled by the U.K Government in Scotland from their shiny new offices in Edinburgh and Glasgow. Forget the Scottish Government and Scottish Parliament, they are finished, side-lined, ignored, shown two fingers by our absolute ruler, Boris. Exaggeration, I don’t believe so.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Apparently Gove is already talking about UK taking part of the budget and spending in Scotland for the benefit of…. Well, I imagine the landowners.


  3. Enough of this negativity and disrespect for the leader of our precious union.

    I think we should enhance the dignity of his office by giving his consort the same kind of recognition accorded to the First Lady of the USA. I propose that we should introduce the title of First Bidie-in to reflect this.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Think we should crowdfund a broom handle for them to ive over, isn’t that one of the old phrases for having a bidy-in.
        Wonder if lizzie the last will invite them for a wee holiday in Braemar, single rooms only.
        See oris was well briefed yesterday, once in a lifetime, respect for 2014 referendum, respect for 2017 election, you know the one that the maybot and untruthful ruthie won. Oh, he stabbed the maybot in the back or have I got that wrong.
        What about respect for the referendum that took us into the EU?
        They make it up as they go along.
        See WOS twitter has the oris answer to his popularity in Scotland, he got a great reception in Aberdeen, Sun man says he didn’t see that as no reporters were allowed into the PRIVATE affair.
        Smoke and mirrors, he’s just given his support to the Welsh Tory who has to stand again after false invoices were put in for expense claims.
        Bet if it was some wee wifey claiming benefits it would have been a hanging.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I see he’s also absolved the thug that body-slammed the climate protester from any wrongdoing. Apparently in BorisBritland thuggery against women is OK, as long as the thug has a bow tie and an upper-class accent.

          I wonder how far you can push this stuff before people react.

          Don’t tell me he booked the barn in the woods that Mrs May used for her secret meeting?


      2. It’s an opportunity to rent out her own gaffe and salt away a bob or two.
        Cooshy wee billet in central London. What’s not to like?
        Oh and Chequers too for nice long week-ends…and fully staffed!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Can I just say that Boris’s first port of call, Rosyth, is perhaps a bit ironic? It appears to be devoted to destroying nuclear submarines. He would have been far more macho to have travelled to Faslane, where his heart is.


    I am against nuclear weapons generally, but I am even more against having a target painted on our collective backs.

    Tho’ that might not ultimately matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I thought Douglas that he was indeed in Faslane and on a live Nuclear SUB, possibly a hunter/killer.
      Strange though that they allowed video of the internals of a Secret submarine for all to see.
      Reminds me of working on the reactor top at Dounreay, all Official Secrets Act, when in walked a delegation of Soviet Army/Navy officers and their handlers to be shown around, thought it extremely strange then and still do now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I thought so too.

        Seeing as how we don;t have any frigates to send out to the Near East, why don;t we send one of these rusting hulks?


        1. Reactor cooling pipe leaks might be a major problem.
          They use an american light water reactor for the propulsion. All part of the kennedy/mcmillan deal to get polaris, included the Indian Ocean islands base.
          Probably no longer safe to run the submarines under their own power with a live crew on board if you wish them to continue to produce more onionist children.
          Hundreds of years before you will be able to recycle the boat, it’s safer to leave the reactor inside the hull as it slows the release of radiation and contamination. Same as Chernobyl, slow release into the atmosphere.

          Liked by 1 person

  5. The oris is now blaming the EU for not negotiating away the backstop.
    Strange that it was ,I understand, a maybot requirement from the DUP bung.
    The spin is giving me dizzy spells.
    Back to noel’s deal or no deal, just leave out the Third way, just stay in the EU.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. See we are to pay his ‘girl friend’ £100,000 a year for looking after No 11 .
    Good money for living over the broom handle.
    Surely it won’t be paid by the hour, no high end courtesans get paid by the gig.
    Zero hours contracts and national minimum wage conditions for the rest. That’s a lot of pension money as well, Waspi women’s cash.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s not easy!

      Apparently he had dinner with Arlene Foster and renewed the coalition with the DUP. I wonder how much he paid for that!


      1. Dinner eh! The lucky Fcuker. Even the thought of being in such close proximity to the luscious Arlene would be enough to give me premature regurgitation.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. As we all know, he needs the DUP votes to crash out of the big bad EU.
    Even although NI voted to remain, he will use the them to get what he wants for englandland, what happens after the glorious hallowed Halloween, Oidhche Shamhna, the night of the shambles, sorry saints.
    Lovely pictures of oris and the hens, looked surprised that they were the source of the eggs. Town boy.
    Don’t worry all you farmers, he’s going to shake the magic money tree and it will be a glorious new empire II.
    Not much in the news about the currency, the lack of sales of the car manufacturers leaving for pastures new, wonder why it’s not major news? Oh eggs come from hens.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Goodness, our Pet.

      I don’t know. Conan. It destroys your faith in human nature.

      She also turned down co starring in a film with him in the 60s.


  8. Oh my, the sound of music will never be the same for me again.
    First Shirley Temple.
    Then Julie Andrews and NOW
    Petula Clark
    You would think they weren’t women.
    The power of the media to distort.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Just listened to R4 news on my way home from a flight.
    Oris wants NI Stormont to reconvene , after having dinner with arlene, money for ash, the night before.
    Says he’s totally for devolution in NI and the onion, levelhanded is he.
    All he needs to do is is to dump arlene as leader of the Assembly and hey presto it’s back convened.
    Ah! wee problem, he needs the dup votes in westmonster to crash out.
    After tomorrow when he loses another mp in the election he’s down to ONE of a majority.
    Bit off, but I seem to remember the death rate in parliament used to be much bigger and by elections occurred more often as did General Elections.
    So, wouldn’t if be great for SF to lose their none attendance position, turn up in September and blow him out the water and represent their voters who want to stay in the EU at the same time.
    Crossed fingers when taking the vow means you don’t really meant it.
    It’s the brown effect, make a vow in the papers to deflect the indyref and don’t do any of the promises, crossed fingers is the onionist way.
    Away to listen to Petula.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep. All SF has to do is swear allegiance to the queen.

      Of course that is why they won;t sit in parliament and why they don’t get their salaries.

      But Tony Benn recounted that what the left wing of the Labour Party used to do was cross the fingers of their left hand behind their backs and it nullified the oath.

      Of course it didn’t, but as no one actually believed in that except the nutters like Rees Mogg, it didn’t matter.

      But SF won’t do it. In a way that’s a pity. On the other hand, you have to admire them for sticking to their principles.


      1. Oris would have kittens to go with his hen IF they just travelled to westmonster and turned up at the door asking for their offices.
        Just reading on a twitter.
        A thought experiment.
        Guess how long a Million Seconds would reduce to!
        now try to guess how long a Billion seconds reduces to.
        No calculators allowed just GUESS.

        1) Twelve Days.
        2) Thirty Two Years.
        Now try a Trillion seconds!


        We owe TWO of those in borrowings, doesn’t matter what the currency is stated to be.
        Another 2 billion found by shaking the money tree to solve the exit problem in 92 days.
        Near enough Nicola to push the Start Button.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Future tax payers’ money being blown by the Brexiteers in pursuit of a narrow political agenda.
    They are going to need Scottish resources even more in the future to service the debt.
    Would you lend money to this bunch of clowns?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I thought we were going to have £350 million a week for the heath service, but it seems that what they meant was spending the money to stock up on medicine that will no longer be available.

      No more nurses then.


  11. The tory party are the ones to look after the economy, the red tories would just squander it on silly projects like selling off the gold at rock bottom prices.
    I’ve just spent the morning searching the sofa for some spare money that the javid one has taught me.
    The hammond must have been a poor chancellor, javid digs out a couple of Billion pounds from the collective sofas at westmonster in a couple of days.
    All I found was the odd crisp, flavour now unknown, and some nose hairs, money there was none.
    So we are all to get a booklet tell us we’re F****** and here’s what to do.
    If the 4 minute warning sounds, crawl under a table, you will be safe there.
    Remember the tories are the ones that will look after your money, that money will be in a safe tax haven, bad news is it will no longer be yours, you have to pay to get the bestest government and economic comics to run the country.
    Say goodbye to Vauxhall, Nissan, Toyota and Honda, you know the english car industry, all owned by European and Japanese concerns.
    Lets tell the english they’ve sold the family silver and there’s nothing left for them to sell EXCEPT Scottish property and that’s about to be removed from their control.
    Rant over.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Has anyone else linkied to this?

    I’d quite like to be in partnership with Iceland and New Zealand.


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