ALL FOR HARRY’S WEDDING

The Tory leader of Windsor council, Mr Simon Dudley (presumably hoping that Mr will now be a short-term title) has written to his local Police and Crime Commissioner, Anthony Stansfeld, asking that he take action to clear beggars off the streets of Windsor  before the planned wedding of Harry Windsor and Miss Marple in May.

Well, that’s not entirely true. The facts seem to be that Mr Dudley tweeted a good deal about it while he was on a skiing holiday in Wyoming over Christmas, and then wrote a letter (dated January 2) to Mr Stansfeld, which he leaked to the press. Unfortunately, possibly due to the dire straits of the privatised postal service in Britain, the letter has yet to arrive. (However, Mr Stansfeld was able to read all about it in the press, so that’s OK.)

Clearly Sir Simon, sorry, my mistake, MR Dudley, [don’t be so previous, Tris, signed Munguin] wants to make sure that when the eyes and ears of international media descend upon his little corner of the green and pleasant land in May, the streets will be the way one expects of a town that boasts Windsor Castle, one of the royal family’s many publicly owned residences (tour £53 a pop. family ticket), Eton college, where princes (and others who can afford the fees of £34,000+ a year) go to school, and Ascot Racecourse, (dress code NOT optional).

Mr Dudley (got it right this time) contends that many of the beggars who populate his patch are homeless for the fun of it, and the caring Conservative council has offered them all suitable accommodation, which they have refused because they prefer to be sleeping on the cold hard streets in winter weather. (Ungrateful beggars!) [Enough! signed Munguin.]

So, where to put all these down and outs while their majesties and highnesses and lords and ladies and other dignitaries are partying and spending untold millions which they managed to get from us, not to mention all OUR money paying for security for all their posh friends?

Well, I have a suggestion. I’ve heard that there is a nearby state-owned house with over 1000 rooms and only one family living there.

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As an afterthought, this notion of royals marrying divorcees has caused some anguish in the past. According to the teachings of the Church of England, it is not possible to marry a divorced person who has a spouse living. Presumably because vows made before god that are “till death us do part” are supposed to mean just that.

So back in the 1930s when Edward wanted to marry Mrs Simpson, a twice-divorced person, he was obliged to abdicate and go to France where he could be married.

When Anne remarried, Mr Philips still being alive) she fled to Scotland to use the Church of Scotland to get hitched to her current husband.

When Charles wanted to marry the divorcee Mrs Parker-Bowles in 2005, he was obliged to do so in a registry office (registrars), although he did get the Archbishop of Canterbury to bless the wedding, which kinda defeated the point.

Now Harry will marry his divorcee in a chapel in Windsor Castle.

Has the Church of England decided that it was wrong to deny marriage to so many people over the years?  If so, will it apologise to them? If not, is there a special dispensation for royals now?

Just asking.