Obviously, when everything in the country is running just fine, there’s no debt, no poor, no homelessness, no drugs problem, the transport and health services are just tickety-boo,  pensioners are treated well and the whole place is running as smoothly as, say Norway, you might as well splash out on a royal yacht. It’s something to do with the embarrassment of excess money that years of prudent government has delivered.

So it may come as a surprise that it’s not a Norwegian MP who is proposing to build a new royal yacht… but an English one.

Some blokey called Craig MacKinley (and he has the backing of 50 MPs) has written to Boris Johnson proposing just that.

It seems he favours a special lottery to raise the money for the vessel that (in his words)

“must belong to the state so it has the benefit of diplomatic immunity when it visits international harbours around the globe”


“has to fly the white ensign, because it is crucial that it is (sic) crewed by our Royal Navy.”


MacKinley says in his letter that many MPs (50 out of 650 is probably best described a “some” rather than “many”) and people around the country would favour this. It could, he suggests, be used by both members of the royal family and members of the government. (So, only the nobs… no plebs?) 

He reckons:  “As we leave the European Union, there has never been a better time to consider how Britain projects herself on the world stage” (I’d not disagree with the principle here. I’m just thinking this may not be the way to do it).

“The view of many MPs and people around the country is that the Government should commission a new Royal Yacht Britannia designed and built domestically to showcasing post-Brexit Britain and bringing trade to our shores.

“To be achievable, we need to generate the money to build a new Royal Yacht – an estimated £120m.” (Mind, you’d need to remember that the cost of everything in the Uk seems to double or triple within weeks of an announcement)

“And it has to have a strong connection with our royal family, as that is the unique quality that will make its service to our nation succeed.” (Whatever!)

“Britain remains the third largest maritime power in the world and we have a unique history and connection with the sea.” (Even if most of your ships are in for repair at the moment?)

“Our country needs and deserves a floating Royal Palace that can be used to host meetings and exhibitions to showcase the best of British business and project our humanitarian role across the globe.” (Even better, what about a humanitarian role in the UK?)

a dims

OK, I’ve said enough. You probably need to go mop up the vomit. But some may disagree with Munguin and me, and think that it is right and proper for Mr Fox and his young friend Mr Werrity, in the company of Kate Middleclass, and possibly even Miss Marple, to have a yacht which reflects not only the Greatness of Britain and its iconic blue passport… but their own self-importance.


  1. Wouldn’t we all just laugh if it gets the go-ahead and then has to be built in one of those dreadful furrin places in Europe, or heaven forfend, the far east? At least the other one was built in Clydebank.

    I kind of visualise Kate chatting to HM at dinner and saying,

    “You know, Ma’am, Will refuses to wash up the dishes after tea, and I just say to him, what d’you think yer oan, Wullie, yer granny’s yacht? We always have a jolly good laugh at that. I believe it’s a Scottish saying. They are so dreadfully drole up there, aren’t they?”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL

      I’m sure Middleton and Saxe Coburg Gotha have that kind of conversation…

      I think William got some of his Uncle Andrew’s genes… ie he’s a lazy tosser.


  2. Spot on, Craig Mackinlay, it’s just what we need – a real Ship of Fools to represent the UK, not just the metaphorical one we’re in. That’ll show Johnny Foreigner just who we Brits are – a bunch of bluidy eejits. It’s not a royal yacht this country needs – it’s a lifeboat!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Mackinley also wants all European visitors to the UK to first apply for a Visa, for which they will be charged. I would have thought this idea would set back tourism almost as much as Brexit. He’s also the South Thanet MP who was charged with election fraud. He switched from UKIP to the Tories prior to the last GE.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I heard that on the radio this morning, and I though, well our pandas (you and Bugger le Panda) wouldn’t have much cared for sharing a plane with her…


    1. Either he is simply filled with loathing of foreigners or he lives in the last century… or even the one before.

      In either case he is a fool. We want to get a great deal, but we also want to be able to treat you people like a scourge, is not a clever negotiating position.


  4. “Britain remains the third largest maritime power in the world and we have a unique history and connection with the sea.”

    Racist little englander can’t count either :

    #1 PLAN (China) – 496 + 292 auxiliaries.
    #2 US Navy – 430 active ships.
    #3 French Navy – 180 active ships.
    #4 Russian Navy – 172 active ships.
    #5 Korean Navy – 130 active ships.
    #6 Japanese Navy – 114 active ships.
    #7 Indian Navy – 96 active ships.
    #8 Royal Navy – 74 active ships.

    I probably missed a couple above the little englander’s navy as that list is just off the top of my head (numbers checked though)….

    Liked by 6 people

      1. Yes, Andi. I’m expecting Unicorn and Discovery to be pressed into service soon of these Russians keep in using international waters to get places.


        1. As we speak, Tris, I suspect the Waverley’s paddle-boxes are being armoured and 16 inch gun turrets being fitted fore and aft. We must at all costs ensure that the Russian fleet cannot sail with impunity into Brodick Bay and annexe Arran!

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Good work, Vestas.

      3rd….8th When it comes to Britain, whats a little lie here or there?

      But aren’t most of their ships laid up somewhere or another being repaired? I read somewhere that on some of them you can’t move and fire weapons at the same time, because the power source just isn’t capable of that.


      1. Tris, I know some guys who worked in Faslane naval base, home to our wonderful nuclear subs fleet. Most of them spent more time in dock than at sea, to the extent that one instead of being known as HMS Alert (for example) was commonly referred to as HMS Alongside. Rule Britannia, what ho?

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Yeah, Andi. The whole thing is more puff than reality. The country lives in a fantasy world of the 1800s.

          Maybe Brexit will wake it up… Probably not.


      2. There are various fuckups in the RN – most of them due to the corrupt scum called BAe Systems (& Babcock).

        The Type 23s are basically knackered – they have no PROVEN ability to shoot down incoming missiles (or seduce them with ECM/ESM), the power plants are on their last legs, the C3I systems run on 486DX50s with no viable replacements and the surveillance radar systems are (& always have been) shite. Interestingly the MoD licensed the Koreans to build their own Type 23s – theirs are now MUCH superior to “ours”. Then again they didn’t use totally corrupt Brit “defence” companies. Disclaimer – I designed one of the boards in the display processor unit used on the T23…

        Most of the Type 45s have fuck all in the way of offensive capability – for the best part of a decade their major weapon was a 3 pound cannon. Even now their capability is minimal with unproven CIWS and obsolete medium/long range weaponry. They are £1bn a pop and are a total waste of money. Oh and they’re only designed to work in the North/South Atlantic, hence why the engines overheat anywhere else in the world.

        Then we have the white elephant “aircraft” carriers which (IMHO) will never be fully commissioned as (again IMHO) the F35B programme will be cancelled by the pentagon. Its another white elephant – and even if it does actually enter service then the RN will be wholly dependent upon Turkey to repair/service the airframes.

        The RN isn’t capable of doing anything other than chasing drug smugglers in the Carribean. They can’t even catch/fight Somali pirates so the idea the Brits are a maritime power is a joke.

        Liked by 3 people

        1. Wow.

          That’s some tale of corruption and inefficiency mixed with some sort of delusion on the part of the Brits.

          The thing is that… as everyone spies on everyone else, the potential enemies are bound to know just what a crock of shit our Navy is, even if Joe Public doesn’t (and now they do if the read MNR).

          What a complete fraud the UK is. And absolutely in the hands of Trump’s America.


          Liked by 2 people

          1. In the words of Bernard (Yes Prime Minister) :

            “If I know about it then I’m sure the Kremlin know as well – they normally get NATO briefing papers a week before we do” 🙂

            AFAIK even the USA are in the process of removing BAe from procurement chains due to them being caught/admitting to widespread bribery & fraud in US military contracts. Of course in Britland BAe have run MoD procurement for decades – MoD are so incompetent they do whatever BAe tell them to.

            For example I used to have to attend monthly/quarterly meetings with MoD/BAe on Rapier (I was the Racal guy) and the technical officer (or whatever civil service title) we had to deal with was a classics graduate from some college in Cambridge. He wouldn’t have known a missile from a chorizo sausage yet he was in charge of a budget of around £40m!

            Been like that forever in Britland AFAICT – the highest levels of the Britland civil service are institutionally incompetent and totally resistant to any logic/common sense. MPs are largely the same – totally incompetent for the job they have, which in turn means the PPE grads with rich families they use (hey no need to pay them right?) tell the MP what position they should take. There may be some exceptions in the Red/Blue/Orange Tories but it’ll be one in 50 at best.

            Run by monkeys so what do the English (for it is them who vote this crap) expect other than shit & peanuts?

            Liked by 2 people

            1. Brilliant summary, Vestas.

              I guess if all your top people study Latin or Politics or History at Oxbridge, and mostly come from a narrow band of southern England rich families, that is all you can expect.

              But the way you tell it, from personal experience, is most entertaining.


          2. Vestas/Tris – that is some amazing piece of information regarding the (non)potency of UK Naval fleet. Why doesn’t this stuff get wider recognition?
            It is perhaps black humour to imagine ISIS assembling a naval fleet to invade the UK, knowing “we” are as vulnerable now as we have ever been.
            I am convinced Fallon saw the writing on the wall, and used the “sexual harassment ” accusation as an excuse to resign.
            I have read several articles on much the same lines about US Military defences.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Yep. I think that May’s new man is even more of a dick that Fallon. I’ve no real opinion of Fallon. He seemed ultra loyal, Tory, not desperately bright, and had a reputation for getting rather drunk, rather often…like a lot of them do. TTHe only time I really listened to anything he said was in that interview with Ponsenby for STV, when someone who looked like she could have been his granddaughter was trying to protect him from answering questions that quite legitimately being put to him, well within his remit.

              Honestly. I don;t always see eye to eye with Ponsenby, but he’s a seriously experienced journalist. His little helper wasn’t going to intimidate him. The whole episode left Fallon looking like a fool.

              The new boy seems like he’s a very stupid man with absolutely no idea at all what it’s all about.


            2. The Type 45 fiasco has been in the public domain for a decade or more – as to why it doesn’t get publicised, well its not in the national interest old boy. Just like the billion pound fiasco of the MoD/RAF trying to wirte their own Chinook systems software, admitting failure after fuck knows how many years (10+ for sure) and then begging the manufacturer to hide the upgrade costs in another contract. People died in Afghanistan because of this – not that anyone in the Brit miltary will ever admit this….

              Anyone who has ever had to deal with the MoD (Ministry of War may have been different, not that old) knows its totally incompetent. My personal opinion is thats again down to BAe who suborn anyone senior & competent with the promise of a well paid sinecure when they retire after 30 years (full civil service pension then). NB that is my opinion and is not based on anything I know – other than whats in the public domain.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. It does sound reasonable.

                Senior civil servants get Ks or seats in the Lords. They have loads of contacts. A seat on the board and and fat salary for 6 meets a year with a pile of like minded classics graduates…

                But they can try to hide it all they like… the Kremlin and whatever the equivalent is in China know perfectly what’s what.


  5. Tris

    I just don’t get what these people get from licking parts of the Royals that you have to pay for in Amsterdam. What is it with them, the servitude is disgusting, do they have no self respect. I remember getting my briefing for meeting and having to welcome the Queen in Dundee. The hanger on said I had to bow, I said no, the hanger on said I had to call her her maj, I said no, he said i had to keep my hands behind my back, i said no and then I said look this isn’t working and I don’t want to do this so speak to my boss and I’ll happily sit in the office and answer the phone. my boss said no. The Queen arrived, said hello so I asked her how it was going, she looked at me and walked away. My daughter was also chosen as the flower girl, Philip mumbled to her and when she didn’t say anything said to me as I was there ” does she speak” I could have smacked his puss, I said ” when she understands whats actually being said”, you should have seen the looks I got from the hangers on, my boss just laughed, she knew I was hating every minute of it. They serve no purpose what so ever, if the idiot yoons want to buy her s ship let them, they are already a laughing stock anyway sending kids who have everything gifts, nutters all of them.


    Liked by 4 people

    1. LOL brilliant story. And absolutely well done to you for doing that.

      I was invited to a garden party at Holyrood becasue of some work I’d done with the Prince’s Trust.

      When I saw the list of dos and don’ts… what you wear, how you comport yourself, how to speak to them, what you call them… I said no. It would take away my dignity as a person to have to treat another person in that way just becasue they had “royal blood”.

      My boss was really scared I would make a scene (which I would not have) and said I didn’t have to go.

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes, thats true. This Fruit Loop is nothing but a small time MP with a dubious expenses record, but we’ve already read that some of the cabinet want this.

      The Make Britain Great Again brigade are so scary.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m kind of ok with it, as long as the ship is built at Ferguson’s in Inverclyde, where I live.
    See – launch of the new Calmac ferry, Glen Sannox, in a 3 minute video…brilliant.
    The money should be raised in England – home of the 50 MPs. Money from England would therefore be spent creating jobs in Scotland. Love it.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks for that, my first job was with Calmac so its always nice to see the new & old ships. I worked the Ardrossan-Brodick route the first season the MV Isle Of Arran ran the route. Also Jupiter, Juno, Saturn & Claymore. Calmac being Calmac I obviously worked the Clyde routes despite coming from Lewis (where an identical vacancy existed for months) 😀

      Will be interesting to see how the new generation of powerplants work out. Electrics look perfect for most of the Clyde routes

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Small world – my first job was on the one before the Isle of Arran, the Clansman. Also worked occasionally on the old ‘Sannox when the Clansman broke down which was not infrequent!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It is indeed. I excluded ships in dry dock for repairs I “worked” on as that would have been the entire fleet in the early 80s. Never understood why it required a sparky (radio officer) and a chief engineer (in theory also a sparky) “on board” while in dry dock given the dock workers took fuck all notice of them until something went bang 🙂

          Brodick was “fun” with the wankers testing for captaincy of a submarine. There was some “interesting” events (at sea) to say the least.

          For those wondering – that area around Arran etc has been used for training UK submarine captains for nearly 80 years? Certainly 60+

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Yes the “Perishers” course, so called because most of the trainees failed and went home usually in a state of nervous collapse!

            One day we were coming into Brodick Bay and HMS Antrim was at the buoy on Royal Yacht escort duty. Knowing the Wavy Navy’s liking for etiquette I suggested to the mate that we dip the ensign and see what happened.

            He sent a seaman down to the poop with instructions to wait until we were almost opposite and then to quickly come out and dip the red duster.

            The gray funnel line obviously weren’t expecting such a courtesy from a lowly Calmac ferry and we watched amused as a sailor was sent running almost the entire length of the County class destroyer to dip their ensign in reply!

            Liked by 2 people

  7. I see the new yacht will have to have a strong connection to the Royal Family. That’ll be a German or Greek yard will get the contract then.
    Nothing personal against the old Queen, but do all these sycophants realise that the woman has overseen the greatest slide in the fortunes of the UK ever. The UK is gubbed, it’s corrupt, it’s badly led.
    Better stop, I’m descending into rant mode.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Och, never stop when you’re in rant mode.


      It’s not really their fault that the politicians have made such a mess. But they are a serious anachronism. I’d like to see them stand down, but it will never happen.

      Once Liz is dead hopefully they will modernise, and downscale.

      Seriously downscale.

      Immediate family with titles and styles and state housing provided (only one). The rest of them, get a job.

      Lazy tossers like Airmiles and his horrible offspring, Kents, Gloucesters, and the rest of the hangers on… Sod off and earn your living.


  8. His wife is Hungarian Farage ex is German l
    How’s that work

    I haven’t got anything against eu nationals
    On the other hand they very much do .

    Also he mackinley represents a coastal
    Area so he hopes for the nautical vote
    Mind he is up on fraud charges which
    Could end his tenure as an MP.

    Liked by 1 person

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