WHAT A RELIEF: I CAN HAVE A BLUE PASSPORT

£!3

I’m sure you will all be a relieved as I am that the BritNat government has announced that, upon the day that the UK leaves the European Union, a proper Blue passport will incrementally replace the fake burgundy one that we have been obliged to tolerate for the last 30 years.

A variety of guests were invited to appear on Radio Four’s Today programme to gush about this momentous event in the history of our “proud island nation”.

All of them were bubbling with excitement. It was as if it were the government’s Christmas gift to its grateful and adoring populace

Nigel Farage tweeted, “Happy Brexmas”, as joy unbounded overtook him despite his impoverished condition.

I think people may be a little disappointed though when they finally get their new passports because, even if you take back control, in today’s world you have to fit in with international standards (on this occasion set in Montréal, Québec, Canada by a UN authority). There’s not much point in having a passport that cannot be read by immigration officials anywhere else in the world.

£pa

So it is unlikely that the stiff cover with the cut-out space for a handwritten name will survive. The new proud Tory Blue passport will have to comply with UN requirements, no matter how important and superior Britain thinks itself to be.

In short, it is likely that the new passport will look the same as the old passport, except it will be blue and it will not have “European Union” anywhere on it.

It’s a little sad that so much fuss is being made over the colour.

!£1

And, there was nothing to stop the Brits having a blue passport whilst a member of the EU. Croatia seems to manage perfectly well!

The fact that it was an EU passport conferred a few privileges on its holders. You could, for example, when outside the union, make use of any of the diplomatic services of any of the countries of the union. So, if you had a problem in Mauritania,  Peru or Cambodia, you could pitch up at the French embassy/consulate, or the Hungarian embassy/consulate, and they would have the same obligation to render assistance as the British embassy/consulate.

Mostly, of course, the red passport used to mean we could move relatively seamlessly though over 30 countries in Europe. Now we will have to queue at borders. If the purpose of the document is to ensure smooth passage between countries, the new passport will certainly be failing there!

I think, though, that the saddest thing I heard this morning was someone say that having a red passport was a mark of shame on the UK.

!!£

I’d suggest that people dying of cold on streets, letters arriving telling people they are fit to work on the day that they die, waiting in hospital corridors for 36 hours for treatment, the lowest pension/salary ratio in the developed world, the most expensive transport in Europe, homeless children, schools begging parents for money, well over a million food bank users, the return of rickets…. might be considered rather more of a shame than a piddling passport colour.

Ironies: It’s not clear that the new “iconic” British passport will actually be made in Britain. According to two separate articles in the Daily Diana, they may be made in France or Germany.  What horror!

And, no matter where they are produced they will still contain the French wording: “Honi soit qui mal y pense” and “Dieu et mon Droit”.

48 thoughts on “WHAT A RELIEF: I CAN HAVE A BLUE PASSPORT”

    1. Actually no. They will be phased in as your EU one runs out. So enjoy the benefits while you can.

      If they don;t arrange something with the airlines no one will be able to afford to go abroad except Charlie and Cammy, and they don;t need a passport anyway.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Theresa May‏Verified account
    @theresa_may
    Follow Follow @theresa_may

    The UK passport is an expression of our independence and sovereignty – symbolising our citizenship of a proud, great nation. That’s why we have announced that the iconic #bluepassport will return after we leave the European Union in 2019.
    **********
    Reply by our leader:

    Nicola Sturgeon‏Verified account
    @NicolaSturgeon
    Following Following @NicolaSturgeon

    The open, inclusive, civic, internationalist Scottish independence movement that I’m so proud to be part of could not be further removed from this insular, inward-looking, blue passport-obsessed nonsense. Never has ‘stop the world, Scotland wants to get on’ felt more relevant.
    ***********

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nigel Farage: Return of #bluepassport is “the first real, tangible victory” for people who voted for #Brexit http://bbc.in/2zfWfw6

      18 months on and we now have a tangible victory?

      We’ve been employing David Davis and his team and Liam Fox and his team for this length of time and THIS is the only victory we’ve had. You complete roaster. We could have had blue passports all along and the new blue passport will have to conform to international standards.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, Dr Mike Gallsworthy has just been pointing that out on Twitter…although there is some disagreement about whether they were black or REALLY dark blue.

      The real point is that they will still have to conform to all the strictures laid out by the UN. They aren’t even taking back control. Within the guidelines they could have had anything they wanted on their silly passports.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Blue passports?
    Where did this idea come from?
    Has there been an impact assessment?

    They’ll be bringing back those wee red book driving licenses next!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I want a Scottish passport and I don’t care what flipping colour it is. Hope Tris’ mum is on the mend. Though if she likes donkeys, does the current UK cabinet fit the bill?

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Brexit in 3 moves.
    1. Blue passports: check. 2. Pounds and ounces: oi, get a move on Davis. 3. Bring back hanging: wotcha waiting for May?

    I can have any colour I want if I go online and buy a passport cover. I fully intend to get mine renewed next summer well before they phase in the new ones.

    The government gave us all another little pressie in the form of the release of the sectoral analyses. Never has wikipedia been plundered so mercilessly. All the secrecy seems a bit silly now. I just can’t believe Davis survived it. He’s not even embarrassed. Where the heck are Labour?

    Merry xmas.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’ve got a Blue Scottish cover for mine, which runs out in 2021, so I may reapply next year and get an EU one.

      Apparently bringing back pounds and ounces and hanging is very popular… at least with the old. Can’t imagine kids wanting to have to learn that there are 16 oz in a lb and 14 lbs in a stone.

      Davis is hanging in there, even though he is a disaster AND said he would walk is his mate was forced out…which he was.

      Her Majesty’s Loyal Abstainers are around somewhere, doing what they do best… abstaining.

      I suppose it saves them from having to work out a position on anything.

      Are you coming home, or having a Swiss Christmas?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That is a depressing chart. Oh dear.

        The reason the government remain in power is that Labour keep abstaining. They are utterly infuriating.

        I am having a Scotsmas rather than a Swissmas. Better whisky that way!

        Liked by 3 people

        1. Yes, it is a bit.

          I’m not that bothered about smoking in pubs. I can’t remember the last time I was in one. I suppose it would mean that you wouldn’t half to walk through the wall of smoke outside them as you pass…

          (No offence to anyone who smokes, but if there are a few outside a pub, puffing away, I end up coughing.)

          Pre-decimal currency/weights? These people cannot be serious. £:s:d? 12p = 1/-; 20/- = £1; half crowns; florins; three-penny pieces? Give us a break!

          If folk want old fashioned light bulbs that uses vast amounts of electricity and blow every few months, that’s up to them. I hope the rest of us’ll be able to continue to get the ones that use little power and last for years.

          Hitting kids? Hmmm… Never approved of that. How come that if I hit my next door neighbour, who is in his middle 20s and could give me a good smacking in return, I can be done for assault, but if I hit a kid who is 10, and pretty defenceless,it’s OK. Weird world!

          Passports… Jeeeeeez.

          Death penalty? Geez peace. Mind you, when you look at May’s friends…Trump. Erdogan, Netanyahu, Salman, I can see that it would appeal to her.

          Can’t see us ever having that in Scotland.

          Have a nice one then, Terry. I think you mentioned that Swiss whisky is of dubious merit!

          They should stick to chocolate and cuckoo clocks, trains, good governance, and most other things… and leave the whisky to us!

          Liked by 2 people

          1. I don’t go to pubs very often these days but I am in constant amazement that smoking used to be allowed. What were we thinking about?

            Hah, yes, let’s bring back the florin and the farthing. And flogging.

            Swiss whisky is really awful. Scotland does many things really, really well and whisky is one of them.

            Have a great one!

            Liked by 2 people

            1. And in offices…

              I can remember going home from the pub and having to put all my clothes, everything, in the wash and wash it all before I went to sleep.

              That was on the nights when I was sober enough, of course!

              🙂

              Liked by 2 people

              1. As ye ken, I’ve had dugs most of my life. When smoking was allowed in pubs the wife knew exactly where I had been, thanks to my wee guy leaping into her face, smelling of tobacco.

                Liked by 3 people

                1. LOL

                  I had a colleague at work, a man in his 60s, great guy. He used to complain that when he went home from work after sitting in cigarette smoke all day, his wife used to say: “Get upstairs you, and get your claes aff”… and, telling the story he used to add …and not in a nice way!

                  Liked by 2 people

              2. I assume that smoking in Italian bars and restaurants is forbidden because I never see anyone doing it.

                I used to find Paris quite amusing in the late 70’s. I could smoke in some libraries (but not the big national ones) but couldn’t smoke on buses, Metro or at the cinema. Elementary stage teachers used to smoke in class, and even when smoking in public buildings was banned from September 1978, some responded with a Gallic shrug. I have seen a teacher, inspector, trainee and visitor all smoking in a first year class of 16 6 year olds and that a few months after the decree.

                For quite a number of years, I used to smoke cigars and I was often amused at the offence it caused among cigarette smokers at football matches…..

                Liked by 3 people

                1. LOL

                  I remember that it went down very badly in France, but the last time I was there it seemed far fewer people smoked.

                  I always used to feel a sense of homecoming when I got into CDG or Lyon–Saint Exupéry, with the smell of Gitanes … no more though.

                  I never seemed to mind there, but I hated the smell here.

                  Liked by 2 people

  5. I’ve said it before but when I slide my UK passport across the desk I do so as if I was sliding a wean’s shite filled nappy across.

    So beige would be my colour of choice.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Kenny Stewart‏
      @Kenny__Stewart

      I’m dreaming of a blue passport
      Just like the ones we used to know
      The gold letters glisten, border guards don’t listen
      To Europe we can no longer go
      I’m dreaming of a blue passport
      With every single tweet I write
      May your demands be puerile & trite
      & may all your Brexmases be…

      2:44 AM – 22 Dec 2017

      Liked by 2 people

  6. But, but, but … of all those things people ‘want to take back’ upon leaving the EU, how many were implemented in the first place as a result of being in the EU? Perhaps only light bulbs. Capital punishment was stopped years before we joined the EU. Decimalisation of money came in 2 years before we joined. Smoking in pubs has nothing to do with the EU, as far as I know because, on the continent, people pretty much do what they like (am I wrong?). Metrication, I suppose, was inevitable, but I grew up with imperial measurements so prefer them because I can visualise them better, but having done lots of OU courses, I also had to learn metric in my 60’s. No problem. We all have to be ambiwhatsit in this world.

    So the problem here is that people have been conned by the usual suspects (the media and pals) to believe that all those things they don’t like are the fault of the EU. It’s pathetic and rather sad (and not a little dangerous) that folk are taken in by it without thinking it through for themselves. The media and the likes of Farage have a lot to answer for.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes, but you know, JoMac, that the EU has been blamed for everything for years. It was handy to be able to shove the responsibility onto them… and in some cases, it was true, but in most cases not.

      However, that’s what got stuck in people’s minds.

      And now they’ve been told we can get a better trade deal with America, India, Australia, Canada, than we have as a member of the EU. Utter rubbish, of course, and any half-wit can tell you that the bigger you are the better deal you get.

      Ho hum…

      Well, it’s all pushing us towards independence (as the figures in the latest poll show) so in the worlds of one of Labour’s many leaders… “Bring it on”.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank goodness I don’t live in that kind of Tory mindset. 🙂

      Mum’s out of hospital, and much better. Unfortunately, I’ve caught something and I can’t go near her for fear she gets the smit. (Do they say that in Edinburgh?)

      She’s been touched my all the get well messages. As have I.

      Thank you all so much.

      Liked by 3 people

        1. Thanks Jake.

          She’s still in bed, but delighted to be home and the family goes in several times a day to make sure she has everything she needs.

          I’m going to cook a dinner on Monday… poor soul!

          Munguin says he’s flying to Paris for luncheon…

          Liked by 2 people

  7. My mate’s mum (83) slipped on the black ice last week and broke her leg and her hip. She’s having the time of her life being waited on hand and foot by a charming Polish guy, and chatting away to the other ladies in her ward. Bad news becomes good news sometimes.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Sorry to hear that though, Conan.

      If it’s ERI she will be looked after proudly. I was there for an op 8/9 years ago and they were fabulous.

      That’s when Spook talked me into Munguin’s Republic… I was laid up when I got out of hospital and couldn’t do all the stuff I usually did, so I wrote for the little one… (Munguin, I mean, not Spookie!)

      Liked by 2 people

      1. The Royal Infirmary. By the crow flies, she lives a mile away from St Johns, yet the powers that be sent her to Little France, twelve miles away. Let us hope they ken whit they’re daein.

        Liked by 2 people

  8. On a lighter note, I was coming out of the pharmacists lugging a rucksack (I need a lot of drugs to live) and a wee boy ran up to me calling “Santa”. Made my day.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.