SOMETIMES MUNGUIN JUST SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AND WONDERS IF HE’S ONLY DREAMING

£AA

In the strange world of today, blessed as we are with a lying, delusional moron as president of the United States of America and a Britain ripping itself out of the European Union, the largest richest trading block in the world, and going who knows where,  under the “direction” of a disparate bunch of idiots who seem to have no idea what they are doing… and in any case are all doing whatever it is differently, it has become increasingly difficult to take seriously any of the what now passes for news.

In fact, I read earlier today that Private Eye is no longer as funny as it once was. Presumably this is because it’s impossible to put a ‘funnier’ spin on the already hilariously ridiculous news.

bre1

Today, we heard that David Davis thinks that, while MPs will get the chance to debate the terms of Brexit deal (or one of the different kinds of no deal that he imagines to be possible), it might actually have to happen after the deed is done and dusted. By which time, of course, it will be impossible to make changes and any vote would be as much of a waste of time as the one which they had on Universal Credit. Bravo, David.

Then we find out that Harry Windsor has been on a charm offensive to Denmark. The government, being lumbered with Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary, has decided to use the Windsors to do his job. Well, I suppose they have to do something for all that money.

£queenb

Additionally, Willie and Kate and Charles and Cammy have been sent off at various times recently, to visit various parts of Europe. This is apparently designed to make the Europeans feel kindly disposed to the English or Brits or whatever. Note that H\rry arrived in a private jet, so heaven knows what the cost of this jolly is.

phil

Still, it has to be better than sending grandpa!

a!fal

I’ve just read too, that the only semi-sentient Defence Secretary SIR Hic Fallon has told the Defence Committee: “I have to repeat, sadly, to this committee that criticism of Saudi Arabia in this parliament is not helpful”.

Fallon claimed that criticism of Saudi Arabia in Parliament was the reason that a large order for Eurofighter Typhoon Jets to the barbaric kingdom was being held up.

$

Well, we’re bloody sorry.  Who are we to be spoiling Britains chance to sell these people more weaponry to kill Yemen kids, or indeed to arm whatever other rebels they arm? (Ask Boris.) Stop being nasty about the royal Saudi thugs.

It will come as no surprise that the waste of space that inhabits the cabinet chair marked “Secretary of State against Scotland and for Making May’s Tea” was unable to tell us what new powers would be coming to Scotland… just as he was unable to explain why, as powers keep being given back to Scotland, it has been necessary for him to boost his staff from 5 to over 70.

$1

His only function is to represent Scotland’s interests in London. He has now 15 times the staff numbers available to him to do this. And yet, having promised a raft of new powers, he is unable to name one of them. NOT ONE. What on earth use is he, or indeed is his Noble Friend the Under Secretary so recently and with indecent haste raised to the aristocracy when he lost an election? (You Jocks didn’t vote for him, but we’ll make him your overlord anyway! Sod this democracy lark!)

trump

And all that is before I’ve even had a chance to find out what kind of tomfoolery the orange baboon has been up to today.

Advertisements

50 thoughts on “SOMETIMES MUNGUIN JUST SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AND WONDERS IF HE’S ONLY DREAMING”

    1. Thank you, Hugh.

      I look at some other bloggers’ writings with huge respect and not a little envy. I never really think, when I read back, that I’ve quite got there.

      But your encouragement is much appreciated. (Who knows, maybe Munguin will manage a pay rise this year?)

      Seriously though, thanks. 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

      1. You do OK, Tris! Better than OK. And – you do it using WordPress, which, as I have discovered to my dismay, is no meen fete.

        I share your indignation and disgust at the antics of that cavalcade of fools down there (and up here, and over there); it’s not even remotely amusing any more. If it ever was.

        A couple of times in the past I’ve called for the Scottish Government and Parliament to repudiate the role of the Secretary of State for Scotland in representing Scotland to the Westminster regime. I repeat that here and now – if anyone is reading this who has any power to move that forward, please do!

        We don’t want or need anyone to represent Scotland that we don’t choose ourselves, basically, but as for the present incumbent… yeah, loads more powers – errm, can’t seem to think of any… We didn’t ask him to represent us – or our interests! – to the Westminster regime; we don’t want him to; he’s not just useless, he’s worse than useless; and he has a vastly increased number of staff working for him – for his paymasters, more likely – whose only purpose has to be to escalate the propaganda war against us, and against our interests, even further.

        And, as with the BBC, they get us to pay for all that nauseating Tory / Unionist propaganda they aim at us. Do you ever get the feeling that you are being laughed at behind your back?

        If someone has a better explanation of what those 70-odd minions of Maestro Mundell can be getting up to all day at the Office, I’d love to hear it.

        Liked by 3 people

        1. Thanks Ed.

          Fluffy is a particularly poor fish. When they had a Liberal Dem to stick in the post, they did…even a lair like Carmichael was better than Muddle.

          But after the LDs were, shall we say, ‘diminished’ in 2015, all they had was Fluffy.

          But it’s a non job, so any idiot will do.

          As we have seen he seems to do nothing of any consequence except ponce around pretending that he’s important.

          I understand that he was off to South America a few weeks ago. I’ve yet to hear of any purpose to that visit, or anything he brought home with him other than maybe a pet Giant Ant Eater to do the more complex tasks his office demands.

          https://www.aboutanimals.com/images/giant-anteater-ant-bear-820×509.jpg?d8bc0c

          You’ll remember when he said he wouldn’t allow a payment to be made to Northern Ireland without there being a consequential for Scotland…

          Well, it’s a nice memory. But clearly May told him that she took her tea with m ilk and no sugar to told him to get on with it.

          It seems that the increase in staff must have been to generate all the publicity that they put out about how the broad shoulders of the UK were taking care of us daft wee jocks.

          Apparently he was asked why the impact assessment that the Brits have done on the effects of Brexit on Scotland would not be published. I dunno if it’s true, but it is said that he exclaimed: “And risk another referendum?” Heaven help us.

          It is diabolical that they spend OUR money doing these assessments but won’t let US see them.

          As for the BBC. I spit on them. I’m told by my elders and betters that they used to be reasonably fair, balanced and truthful.

          We found out that they were anything but during the referendum, and Labour found out when they elected Corbyn as their leader.

          I gave up on them before the referendum. I won’t pay to have lies told about my country and government. They managed to turn the fracking story into something negative. I expect one of Fluffy’s many staff fed them that line.

          I’ve never been keen on a licence fee when I watched other channels more than the BBC, but certainly not once tales of the Savile case and Rolf Harris and all the perverts that inhabit the BBC at our expense unfolded.

          There are many things that the government makes me pay for and about which I have no choice. Royals, Lords, Nukes, wars, MPs’ expenses, doing up parliament, being just a few. But at least I can choose not to subsidise the BBC.

          Liked by 2 people

            1. When I see the Unionist, Royal Family arse-licking, crap on the Great British BBFuckingC sometimes I wish they would…

              Like

            2. Non-payment is a criminal offence, so in theory they can jail you. However, they’d have to jail a large chunk of the Scottish population. I see Conan has said something similar, but I wish really wish they’d try it – but from previous experience trying to get unjust laws changed, I can pretty much guarantee that They will not go after anyone they know might fight back.

              For example, if the only thing I watch from TV is First Minister’s Questions at Holyrood on my computer, does that make me a criminal?

              Meanwhile, visca Cataluny a lliure! I think I must learn Catalan properly.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Ach, it’s not showing in the blog in my browser on my OS on my machine… but I was able to click through to it this time. ‘Tis not ever thus.

                Ah yes… to the subject of that little flier… that would Mr. A. Sarwar, the “antiestablishment candidate”, going in for a spot of reverse Robin hoodwinking, or something? Maybe he misspoke. Then again, maybe he didn’t.

                Our teeth in his hands. Gawd.

                Liked by 1 person

  1. Great summary. We live in kerrazzzyyy times.

    Armando Ianucci said he was glad he left Veep at the time he did because he couldn’t think of anything satirical to say about Donald Trump.

    Barely a week passes without a leading UK politician doing something or saying something that would be a resignation matter in more normal times. A new normal has descended.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I can see Mr Ianucci’s reasoning. What ever you wrote about him (or Downing Street) could so easily be upstaged before the broadcast.

      I wonder if normal will ever return to normal!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Smile raising cartoons and good instigation as always Tris, which in these current times can certainly be no mean fete (funny typo Eddjas – Brexit- it will be a right mean fete! 50k for a stale pancake ooft! lol!)
    Please may I suggest to Mr Minguin in the interest of avoiding confusion over the name Cammy, as a short version of Cameron in these parts, that we just call her ‘the Camel’ please?
    Fluffy bear.. He showed this week he knows a big number ‘111’ still working on his no 2’s no doubt.. Listening to him was like some twisted, bad dream version of the burnieston sketch in the lift.. With the strange parallels of not being understood/answered when speaking perfectly plainly.. And with no one going anywhere.. Name one power please? 111! Name one power please?..111! It was not so funny this time Fluffy, you can flog a joke.. Shame we canny flog a Fluffy..

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Jamie.

      It certainly is some sort of weird watching Fluffs.

      I always think that other politicians must be looking and cringing… but then I realise that the same thing must apply to May, Johnson, Davis, Fox, and an endless list of their colleagues.

      I’m trying to think of one that makes any kind of sense.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. 1. In those “down” moments your website cheers me, as I’ve commented before. But . . . please don’t fall into the trap that has snared many a good blogger – no personal insults against the objects of your criticism. Calling Trump an “orange baboon”, does not help your cause.

    Liked by 1 person

          1. Respectfully Tris, as polite and thoughtful as you always are, you should NOT apologize! Trump is a dangerous deranged man with a disordered mind who cannot and must not be treated as we would normally treat a political personage. We are not dealing a routine political matter here, and it cannot be dealt with in the normal way.

            This in fact raises serious questions about how the public and the media SHOULD deal with a president who quite deliberately (as a sort of performance art in service of a political agenda) flouts every convention of civil public discourse…….not to say proper “presidential” behavior. How SHOULD we deal with this odious human being who HIMSELF makes up insulting belittling names for his political enemies…..”crooked Hillary”……”liDDle Bob Corker”, (a sitting United States Senator,) and throws out the names like the taunts of an adolescent school yard bully? On top of this, he pursues public feuds with grieving wives and parents of fallen soldiers who died in the service service of the country which he “serves” as president.

            Donald Trump sits in the chair that has been occupied by the likes of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Franklin Roosevelt; and he quite deliberately dishonors the office of the presidency in order to satisfy his own narcissistic ego and overweening ambition. For most Americans, this is not only grossly unacceptable behavior, it is quite literally heartbreaking when considered in a historical context. We must not forget that Trump is a racist, sexist, xenophobic political demagogue and con-man; not to mention a self-confessed sexual predator. We (the public and the press) must NOT accord him the “normal” kind of respect that would tend to normalize this behavior at the presidential level. The sad fact is that you have to treat bullies like bullies, and if the worst that happens to this name-calling presidential bully is to be referred to as an orange-faced moron or a posturing baboon or a mango Mussolini, then it is not half of what this despicable deranged man deserves. It’s a way of reminding ourselves that while we are in uncharted political waters, we must NOT at a minimum accept this behavior as the “new normal” of presidential politics.

            Liked by 4 people

            1. Danny. Thank you for your kind words.

              Yes, I agree absolutely about Trump.

              Although, I can see what Brain is saying.

              We Scots can get bent out of shape about someone calling Nicola names (although personally, I don’t and neither does she). I do get seriously concerned when someone suggests that she should be killed (as they have), but so would I if they were talking about May, Merkel or even Trump.

              I think, like most people, I didn’t expect him to be elected. I remember thinking that Hillary must have been pretty much choosing the decorations for the White House apartments when she realised she was up against him.

              Surely no one in their right minds would vote him to one of the most powerful jobs in the world (or really anything else). But they did.

              Doubly unfortunate that an equally unstable man on the other side of the world should arrive at the same time to have nuclear capability and rockets that actually look as if they go where they are supposed to (another thing I didn’t anticipate).

              I agree we must never accept that this is the new reality. This must be a short term aberration.

              And when I say he must be gotten rid of, I mean he must be impeached or removed from office. Rather like Keith Olbermann. That’s all.

              Calling him names actually, to an extent, trivialises his sheer incompetence and distastefulness. I’ve still never actually be able to say the two words together: President and Trump.

              It is maybe one way of dealing with the awful prospect that a man with absolutely no idea what he is doing actually does have his fingers on the nuclear codes.

              At least the monumentally incompetent Maybot has to ask permission before launching missiles (unfortunately, from HIM). Trump only has to inform the Secretary for Defense.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Tris……excellent comment! One has to realize that even though so much has been written in the press about the need not to “normalize” a Trump presidency, the sad fact is that political vitriol on a previously unimaginable level HAS become at least for now the “new normal.” It began when the far right wing Republicans absolutely lost their minds when a black man was elected president. The (largely racially motivated) abuse that was heaped on President Obama was unparalleled. He was to many of the right wing fanatics the monkey from Kenya who has usurped the presidency! And worse! And never forget that it was the racist years-long “birther” campaign against Obama that kick started the Republican political career of Donald Trump. That was what opened the door for a Trump candidacy and a campaign against the “Clinton bitch.” And of course the taunting names he had for all of his opponents in both parties…..Little Marco Rubio and Crooked Hillary. There was the dismissal of the service of tortured prisoner of war John McCain, of whom Trump said: “he’s a hero because he was captured. I prefer people who won’t captured, I hate to tell ya.” The “hate to tell ya” part delivered like a boffo tag line to a one-liner delivered by a sleazy Las Vegas lounge comic. (It only needed a rim shot by the drummer.)

                So the name calling has an element of payback to it. Tit for tat…..bullying the bully! The name calling may be trivial in a sense, but it reflects an entire political system that has fallen apart and which nobody in either party has a clue about how to put back together. While Trump was feuding with the wife of La David Johnson, one of the soldiers who was killed in Niger, and General Kelly (White House Chief of Staff) embarrassed himself with a prominent public attack about it on a sitting US Congresswoman, Steve Schmidt (a prominent Republican who ran the 2008 McCain campaign) had this to say about Donald Trump.

                Like

                1. I think you and Steve Schmidt summed that up pretty well.

                  Extraordinary time. Perhaps Brits, living in the Brexit bubble don’t realise just want a complete fool he’s making of America.

                  Most of all I’m worried because he could pretty much end the world. And no one could stop him.

                  I realise of course, that that is true too of Putin, Xi, Macron and possibly Indian PM, Pakistani PM and the Israeli PM… not to mention the other loose cannon in NK.

                  But I feel relatively sure that most of them understand the consequences of doing that.

                  I’m not sure Trump or Kim do.

                  Liked by 2 people

                  1. Tris, now I REALLY don’t know what’s happening here, but maybe you can now delete BOTH of my aborted message fragments that WordPress insisted on “posting” for me. And I’ll try one more time.

                    The nuclear issue is certainly worrisome. Trump is commonly referred to as being deranged. This is probably less of a metaphor than it is a literal description of a man with a disordered mind. Maybe we can realistically hope that low cunning and an overwhelming sense of self-preservation in a narcissistic personality is enough to keep his hands off of the nuclear button. Kim and his family certainly seem to put a high value on self-preservation too. Maybe such an attitude on both sides will be a sufficient deterrent to avoid a nuclear exchange. Perhaps mindless self interest will triumph if nothing else does. (A slender reed perhaps when dealing with men like this.)

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. OK, Danny. Although I never thought to have to trash one of your comment, never mind two i=on the same day. 🙂

                      I suppose we must take comfort from your last point.

                      I understand , however, that both of them have the most incredible tempers. That is worrying!

                      Liked by 1 person

    1. “As the purpose of comedy is to correct the vices of men, I see no reason why anyone should be exempt.”
      Jean Baptiste Poquelin Moliere

      As I see it, there’s a time and a place for “ad hominid” attacks

      Liked by 3 people

    2. It is indeed true that #45 is not an orange baboon. He is, however, a moron, as at least one source close to him (Rex Tillerson) has said. As he has access to a Twitter account with which he conducts American “diplomacy” in a deranged manner and has access to the nuclear football, that makes him a dangerous moron. (I put the word “diplomacy” in quotes because calling the equally ridiculous coiffure in Pyongyang “Little Rocket Man” and threatening to obliterate his country isn’t diplomacy in any ordinary sense of the term.)

      Even without Rex Tillerson, it’s very evident that #45 is profoundly dimwitted. He has effectively said so himself: the content of his usual tendentious twitterings quite apart, anyone who says “I have a good brain!” – doesn’t. Anyone who says “I have the best words!” – doesn’t. “The greatest memory!” – ditto. “I am an intelligent person!” Aye, right.

      Senators Corker and Flake, and the five living former presidents of the US, may feel constrained not to use insulting, derogatory and demeaning language about the man, but I for one don’t feel under any such compulsion. Given his crass insensitivity, it would actually be quite a challenge for me – for most people – to rival it!

      My Puerto Rican pal Norberto in New York calls #45 the Mango Mussolini. I did not think Norberto’s opinion of the man could sink any lower, but then Puerto Rico got hit by hurricane Irma and then by hurricane Maria, and under Trump, the US federal response to the emergency makes the appallingly botched response to hurricane Katrina that was mounted under Bush fils look like a textbook exercise in competence and efficiency. It’s not just that; the anti-hispanic, racist tone and attitude #45 has been taking towards the Puertorriqueños has been frankly disgusting, and his treatment of the mayor of San Juan has been nakedly insulting – all of the above, plus a liberal dose of sexist contempt towards her. To pretend not to hear someone who is standing right next to you and asking you a question, to act as if she were not even present – well, if I were the Mayor of San Juan, representing huge numbers of my people whose homes and livelihoods have been destroyed, who do not have access to clean water, fresh food, electricity, proper shelter, who are dying because the man you are speaking to simply doesn’t care – I would want to smash his face in.

      Norberto certainly does. He has family on the island, and even after more than a month, he does not know for sure what has happened to all of them.

      It is not clear to me whether #45 understands even yet that Puerto Ricans are American citizens. Or maybe, because they are Hispanic, he just wishes they weren’t, so he could deport them all.

      I went to live and work in New York in the late ’80s, and Trump was on the scene. Even then, his name was a byword in the city for crooked dealings, outrageous lying, and tasteless, gaudy display.

      So yes, “orange baboon” is not an appropriate term: baboons, of any stripe or colour, one supposes, can be bad-tempered, aggressive beasts. However, baboons are not a clear and present danger to humankind. Trump is.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Well said! There seems to be no record of Albert Einstein ever telling anyone that he’s REALLY smart. Trump on the other hand…….

        On the famous Orangutan matter, it’s instructive that Trump’s lawsuit against Bill Maher lasted only long enough to milk as much publicity as possible. At that point Trump withdrew it rather than be laughed out of court.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thanks for that, Ed.

        It is heartbreaking to think of what is, or rather isn’t, going on in Puerto Rico.

        Who knows what goes on in his mind. A lot of it is, clearly, a series of lies and delusions.

        Fair enough, a lot of people live their lives in some sort of deluded bubble.

        It’s just that most of them don’t have the codes to the end of the world.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Off Topic slightly, but I watched about half of the first episode of Elizabeth The 1sts Secret Agents. Is that is not UK BREXIT propaganda dressed up as history?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I noticed the casual assertion that Mary Queen of Scots was “ill – educated” (repeated as fact by the Torygraph). Long time since I resd anything about Mary, but that assertion does not square with my recollections.

      Liked by 3 people

        1. I don’t really speak loads of languages, Tris, not fluently anyway. My gift is knowing what they mean in English when I see them written down. It’s a gift I did nothing to deserve, really, but I’ve had a terrific life as a result, at least I think so; I’m sure it wouldn’t be to everyone’s taste!

          In between grumping about this, that and the other, and feeling sorry for myself, I thank my lucky stars for it. It’s opened doors into other cultures for me, so I know that human beings are pretty wonderful the world over, that is, when they can manage to stop being shitty to each other for five minutes…

          Liked by 2 people

          1. Hey. It doesn’t matter a damn what anyone else would think.

            As it goes, I agree. I’m sure there are good and bad everywhere, but the vast majority are good, and life enhancing… as long as that’s what you are looking for.

            Like

      1. A good case of history being written by the victors, that “uneducated” crack… It’s tantamount to saying “… and she’d have been crap as queen anyway”. How England was saved by the tough decision of their very own Gloriana from the ravages some stupid Catholic Scotswoman would have inflicted – and not just that, some sort of half-French Scotswoman to boot, and brought up in the famously ill-educated French court! The very idea. Doesn’t bear thinking about. Of course she never said she wanted to rule over England, but then she would say that, wouldn’t she?

        Terrible taste in men too. Much better for Us to remain a virgin queen, and hand over the keys to the kingdom(s) to the stupid cow’s get…

        Liked by 2 people

      2. The woman that said it was denigrating Mary Queen of Scots. It was an evidence free statement of prejudice IMHO. She claimed that Mary Queen of Scots was , a Catholic (true), a bit thick, coquettish, a flibbertigibbet and inferior in every way to the vastly more wonderful Liz 1. Had she brought any evidence to the table, I would have been willing to listen. As it stood, it was unsupported.

        I have my predjuices too. I tend to be against people who bend the truth, give unsupported assertions about what truth is and stuff like that.

        There was something just wrong about the way she was being portrayed, and, believe me, I am no historian, but I am kind of up to speed on current propaganda. Sneering at Liz 1’s opponents is perhaps popular, but it is not history. It is something from the current era.

        Still and all, we all know that even history is being dug up to tell us that BREXIT is good?

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s