43 thoughts on “DAVID’S DIARY…”

        1. “Cough”; Yawns, *knuckles eyes* “Screams in agony as remembers he has a broken shoulder”, grabs armrest of office chair to help lever himself out of bed.
          Gets up off the floor and limps to the toilet.
          Fifteen minutes later; after the long, slow, journey down the stairs, puts on the kettle and – slowly – starts to do housework before night shift wife comes in. ***
          Makes her breakfast.

          Then, and only then, makes way to computer. “Must do satire – *gasp* – “Can’t let the bastards get away with it” – *pant* – “Hang on – need biscuit…must have…biscuit” – “Oh and a nice cup of tea…” *Ingests morning medication too*
          “Now” *Rubs hands*, “they’ve really fucked up this morning, excellent”. *Types a sentence of really cutting persiflage*…

          Falls asleep. Repeat.

          *** I don’t have a day shift wife.

          Liked by 2 people

                1. Nae probs. For a while you had a whole train of wee cute animals on Soppy Sunday that I was about to roast and eat. I almost felt guilty…

                  Liked by 2 people

                  1. Ah yes…

                    Well, I’m delicate about animals.

                    You can roast David Davis if you like. Although I’d be cautious about eating him. I’ve heard he’s poisonous.

                    Certainly his sour faced boss would taste of highly concentrated vinegar.

                    Liked by 2 people

            1. Yes, I’ll happily do an occasional series. David’s Diary!

              Whenever I see or hear something, I’ll milk it… and I’m hoping that even with his broken bones… Conan will help out.

              Liked by 2 people

            1. Alas, the broken (shattered) shoulder only compounded** other stuff I have wrang wi me Tris. All treatable, but to an old guy, somewhat more dangerous. Niko would be deid.

              **You see what I did there?

              Liked by 3 people

  1. Nice one, Tris! I expect Davis wanted Juncker & Barnier to pay for all the booze and food, stuffed his pockets with bread rolls before leaving, told the staff they could whistle for tips – imaginative and flexible, n’est-ce-pas?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. And utterly reasonable.

      One of the things that worry me… and I can’t say I care that much… is that other countries will look at the row they are having over A50, and say… do we really want to get involved with this lot that make commitments and then refuse to keep to them.

      Do we want to make a contract with this country that won;t pay up if it doesn’t suit them?

      “Perfidious” comes to mind.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah now, I don’t think there will be any question of them not paying up. They are playing funny beggars on the methodology for calculating the bill. I suspect it has much to do with domestic politics. They are hoping the public will see these great 100 billion numbers then present it as a triumph when its hammered down to only 60 billion. Its expectation management.

        And we need then to be “honourable”, because we want to walk away from any share of that UK national debt – which the B of E said they were covering in 2014. None of the other ex colonies got a bill stuck on them, and we have paid enough in blood and Dane-geld already these 300 years.

        Liked by 3 people

        1. David, I think you’re dead right about the expectation management. Apart from anything else, what prospect would the U.K. have, post Brexit, of clinching any trade deals if it had just welched on its former trading partner?

          Liked by 4 people

        2. Yes. They want the Daily Mail headlines, of course. Nasty foreigners trying to get good honest hardworking British people’s tax money to waste on garlic and foreign stuff.

          And as you say, they will end up paying because otherwise no one will trust them…

          Liked by 1 person

    2. I just remembered that “un anglais” is Walloon French for a lousy tipper, the same way that “un belge” is a lousy driver in French French – the Belgians were very late in introducing driving tests for getting drivers’ licences. Can’t remember if “un anglais” for a lousy tipper applies in France, it has been so long, and so much water has been passed under the bridge at night, sort of thing.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’ve never heard that in French, but ‘sauce anglaise’ is custard (because they think it is the only sauce the English and make, and ‘capote anglaise’ is a condom… so…

        Like

  2. Absolutely correct about managing expectations.
    Why else would they take more than a year to do nothing,except getting people slowly used to the idea of being Deceased Europeans.
    Rule Britannia.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. They are playing a typical negotiation game.
    EU “lets discuss points A, B and C”
    rUK ” Non, we want to discuss X,Y and Z”
    Whomever blinks first loses.

    Currently the EU has the upper hand and the clock is ticking puting pressure on the Regime. The labour party showed the first crack in the Regime by changing position to be pro single market and customs union for an extended transitional period. This crack will widen as time marches on and further cracks will appear.
    Tick tock, the union is crumbling…..

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I believe the negotiations are just a front – They have no intention of achieving a negotiated settlement. They’re unwilling to do the hard word of negotiating seriously, and probably incapable of it anyway, so at some point they are going to storm off in faux outrage at some perfectly reasonable condition that the Europeans announced long ago in a clearly set out position paper. Then they will do the Big Lie propaganda thing on it and pretend that this was something new sprung on them by those perfidious Johnny Foreigners and the British Bulldog would not stand for it, no sirree Bob!

      The only good thing about it is that it increases sympathy in Europe for the Scottish case, makes the Europeans even less inclined to treat the Westminster regime with anything other than contempt and disbelief, and all the while intensifying the stench of incompetence and corruption that are already its hallmark.

      The UK is well on its way to becoming a pariah State. It looks to me like the Americans are soon going to start undoing the damage Trump has done by nailing him for tax fraud (which is how they brought down Al Capone, finally, in the ’30s). That would be before they even start on any crimes he committed – I’m not going to add “allegedly” or “reportedly”, because I am sure that it’s a dead cert that he did – in connection with Russia.

      On this side of the Pond, I would like to see some criminal prosecutions for homicide of one kind or another, from negligent on up, by the Jobsworthys and occasional sadistic swine among the staff of DWP who impose sanctions on people who die as a a result. Start at the top with the fragrant Iain Duncan Smith – I understand that no impact assessment was done for the sanctions introduced at DWP under his watch. That is, prima facie, negligent.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m not sure it the Brits are wilfully awkward or just plain stupid. It has to be one or the other. But the Daily Mail readership will certainly believe that it is all about the intransigence of everyone else, while the dear British are being utterly reasonable and bending over backwards to accommodate Johnnie Foreigner.

        Trump is so frightening that I’m pretty sure that somewhere… or in a lot of places actually… there are pretty clever people looking at every which way that can be found to unseat him. It’s just how much damage can be done in the interim.

        I agree that the DWP is a criminally negligent organisation (as indeed is the Home Office). Incompetent, uncaring and disorganised.

        Of course, as always happens, if there are, finally, any investigations into who did what, the people at the top will come out smelling of roses and custard creams. Some cleaner somewhere will be sacked and imprisoned.

        It is the way of top people to stay on top. I’d like to see the people responsible for all these deaths sacked and imprisoned, but we all know that no matter how culpable they are, that will NEVER happen.

        Apropos of nothing, I see that the Met had to pay out an estimated £200,000 to some big wigs who were accused of sexualo misconduct. (As if big wigs would ever do anything like that! Well, I never.)

        The Met is pretty useless (I mean there’s Cresida couldn’t find her arse with both hands Dick, who was in charge of the team that murdered Jean de Meneszes, who wormed her way to be commissioner and a damehood), but one can’t help feeling that having friends in the right places is a huge advantage.

        Judges are handy people to cultivate.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The UK is used to being the big player in negotiations and therefore having the upperhand. I suggest that that is the mindset. They have not worked out that they have nothing to offer the EU except cheap labour because they have no resources except scottish ones. I suspect they will have a tantrum at some point and then try and arrange direct talks with Germany and France for the special sectors that they want to protect. That won’t work and they will be totally stuffed. They will then try and do trade deals with non EU countries who are going to demand reciprocal trade arrangements. ie they trade food rUK supply cars. After all who wants to accept a piece of paper with numbers on it from an organisation that just defaulted on its obligations to pay the EU.

        They are just digging a bigger and bigger hole. I hope they don’t come out in my paddock.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Lord that must be a worry for you, Kangaroo. The farther down they get the better we feel… but, it really must be a worry that one morning you’ll wake up and find Tessy and Dave in your yard.

          I think they already tried talking to Germany one on one and Dr Merkel patiently explained how these things worked in grown up politics.

          Like

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