It’s little wonder that Philip Mountbatten-Windsor-Saxe-Coburg-Gotha has had to go on working till he was 96.
Have you seen the state of the British Pension?
Hard enough for Mr Average to manage down the pub on a Saturday evening, but when you mix in the best of circles, you really can’t do it on £7,500 a year.
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Well, I don’t remember any of that being in the manifesto, do you?
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Then a Scottish MEP, doing his best to get Scottish funding diverted elsewhere in the United Kingdom. Now a member of the aristocracy and a nobleman second-tier minister for Scotland. I imagine that he won’t be fighting hard for the Scottish fishermen in ministerial meetings. Kinda suckered all the fishermen who voted Tory. Still, I’m sure his dithering boss, Fluffy, the tea boy of the cabinet (no sugar, splash of cream, Mundell), will put up a spirited fight for them. After all, who can forget his brave cries of: “I won’t let that happen” when Mrs May paid the DUP a billion plus as a bribe to keep her in a job?
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Or maybe not, Fluffy!!!
According to Wikipedia, Nicola is two places above Muddle in the great scheme of things, which includes royals, dukes, people from the established church, Commonwealth people and some real jokes (Princesses Eugenie and Charlotte anyone?).
The list is worth looking at for comedic value.
None of it comes as any great surprise in Ruritania, except the inclusion at number 11 of the Lord High Chancellor, one Liz Truss, who I thought, was something to do with the English justice system….Justice Minister with a very silly uniform. And she’s above Theresa May… And all the Scottish ministers. Is that because she has an even more ridiculous outfit than they do?
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What was that you people were going on about? Controlling borders? Security?
If you guys think this is bad… you ain’t seen nothing yet.
MUNGUIN'S NEW REPUBLIC 
Has hammond finally realised that “Brexit means…we’re up shit creek” as he examines every option to retain the tax take. Except of course to tax the people who have the income and wealth. It’s going to get really really bad for the ordinary punter as the elites do everything they can to retain their wealth, position and power. Everything will be jettisoned to try to keep the sinking ship afloat, brexiteers will be singing rule britannia as they sink beneath the waves. Unfortunately they are going to hole the scottish lifeboat below the water line just to be spiteful.
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Not if we can sail it out of their reach first and anchor in our real home, Scandinavia.
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Great stuff, Tris. I particularly like the pic of Liz Truss and the two Supreme Galoots (or whatever). I know she’s smiling but she must be livid that someone else has turned up in the same frock!
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LOL. I dunno Andi, if I looked that bloody ridiculous, I’d be glad some other pratt was daft enough to dress the same way, and of course, we’d both be glad we hadn’t chosen the red (especially not with his nobbly ankles!)!
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To be honest, Tris, I’m probably a little dismayed that there isn’t a bit more colourful and traditional garb to brighten our dull, humdrum lives here in Brexitania. I know we have the Yeomen of the Guard, The Lord Lyon King of Arms, the Judiciary in all its costumed guises, Black Rod, the Bishop of Canterbury, the Moderator of the Church of Scotland, etc., etc. But, you know, one can never really have a sufficiency of frills, feathers, furbelows, braid, ribbons, sashes and such distinguished accoutrements. Personally, there are so few occasions when I am able to don my magnificent dress uniform of Arch-High-Excellency Panjandrum Extraordinary to the Court of Avanurra-Jistfurra-Helluvvitt set off by the resplendent adornments of the Star, Garter, Sash and Cuffs of the Most Splendid Order of Tymeservarse (5th Class). I shall, of course, wear it, with pride, on Great Brexit Day as the bells peel across the land and cannons bellow their salute as our fair realm severs itself irrevocably from the detested empire of Johhny Furriner. I must pause now as I see some fellows below in the street beckoning to me and waving a most fetching, if rather dull-coloured jacket but one with lots of interesting buckles and straps. Sayonara, amigos, as Johnny Furriner is wont to say, I believe.
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I expect that lot are there for you then, Andi.
How they love to amuse themselves and play dressing up at our expense.
And while they do all that with out money, there are people who don’t have one suit of clothes to wear adn nothing to eat.
And we are told we should love our country. Aye right!
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The Lord Chancellor by name of Liz Truss
Among the judiciary caused a great fuss,
Though she dressed in full fig,
She did not wear a wig
So the judges tutted, “She’s not one of us.”
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LOL.
She certainly isn’t one of them. She has a PPE degree from (you’ll never guess) Oxford.
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Interesting ranking on Wikipedia, I had no idea such a thing existed although thinking about it, it would have to be formalised to give those and such their proper place, recognition and obeisance.
I reckon by extension that puts me somewhere between the lollipop man at the local primary and the Big Issue seller although I haven’t seen him for a while since he asked me if I could pay his sisters leccy bill. So maybe I’m beneath him because entrepreneurs are higher up?
God, this ranking thing is so confusing, I just can’t tell who I shouldn’t be giving the time of day to or who I should be doffing my bannet for.
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I know. It’s sooooo complicated.
Here at Munguin Towers we all know our place. There’s MUNGUIN
And the rest of us.
These things go on though. There was a hilarious article at the time of Willie’s expensive wedding where they pointed out where Kate would fit into the Saxe-Coburg hierarchy.
Her position of import depended on whether she was with Willie or not.
On her own she’s vaguely somewhere just above the servants (Kate Middleclass) and she bows to Harry and Anne and their likes. But with William she’s quite the bees knees. And Anne and Harry have to bow to her.
Who bows to whom… Jeeeez.
I’m glad I only have to remember that Munguin is my better and the rest can all take a flying whatsit.
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Well, Tris, after all, Munguin can’t take a flying anything – he’s a penguin!
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Hmmmmm.
I’d be careful, if I were you.
He’s not a forgiving animal.
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/theroyalfamily/9351571/The-Queen-tells-the-Duchess-of-Cambridge-to-curtsy-to-the-blood-princesses.html
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In a Republic we wouldn’t be bowing down to anyone.
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Well I won’t even in a kingdom, but I’m all over the idea of a republic (as the blog title might suggest.)
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Couldn’t resist this one. What a complete wally.
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Bought and sold bought and sold…And worth every penny….To England
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Jeez, if they’d only asked they could have had the wee git for nothing… In fact we’d hae geen them a half pund o’ tea tae tak him awa.
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That would be when he wasn’t moonlighting as the Verger off Dads Army.
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Oh, lol. That’s who Mr Yateman reminds me of.
Thanks for that.
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Looks like he has been on a visit to NE Scotland.
Seagulls!
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Awww, that was a shame!
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Tris, you refer to that august figure in the splendid robes of the KT (Knights of the Thistle, or is it Keech Tossers?, I forget) as “a complete wally”. Is that any way to apostrophise George Islay MacNeill Robertson, Baron Robertson of Port Ellen, KT, GCMG, PC, FRSA, FRSE? a man who has nearly as many letters after his name as the Chinese alphabet? No wonder he looks annoyed. As a man of the people he’ll not be used to surly comments from underlings. In any case, there are doubtless many further honours for him to accrue – DVD, HMP, MPG, RPM, HMS, RSVP, EIEIO, etc. Only when he has amassed many more honours will he be a complete wally: he’s still just a middling wally but he’s working on it.
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I apologise for giving him his full title when it has yet to be conferred upon him!
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We write from Schloß Freeman-am-Tay to lament that our nobiliary particles were stripped from us in Germany and Austria in 1919, and the whole idea of aristocracy had died out in Iceland by the time the 18th century dawned in the accustomed manner. So – not only are we not Herzog Freeman von und zu Dundee, we’re not even allowed to style ourselves thus in print! Banned! And whatever our claims to nobility, they wouldn’t give a rat’s a*se for them in the Alþingi, or even in the Landstag of Lower Saxony!
Those dastardly republican organs would refuse to pay us even the deference due such ornaments of British society as the fragrant Lady Mone of the Female Foundation Garments, that renowned class warrior Baron Darling of Roulanish, or even that new luminary the British aristocratic firmament, Lord Duncan of Springbank. The question on everyone’s mind, of course, is: now that Ian Duncan is Lord Duncan of Springbank, will more trains, including the Caledonian Sleeper, now stop at Springbank station for his lordship’s convenience?
There are, no doubt, some vile cybernats and rabid independentistas who will also be wondering about what the rules of precedence are in relation to Ian Duncan MP (failed), now that he is member of the House of Lords, and that Nicola Sturgeon woman, who is of course only a commoner. To be more exact about it, they will be wondering whether in the noble lord’s mind, and in the mind of his feudal superior Governor-General Lord High Something-or-other Mundell, should she be addressed as an equal in rank, or as one of the servant class?
I see that the very fragrant Ms. May, unable to sort out these thorny questions of precedence, has taken the obvious step of not meeting with Ms. Sturgeon at all, no doubt to save herself the bother of being rude and condescending to her.
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Herr Eddjasfreeman, I think you’ll find that the Almanach de Gotha gives Frau Mone’s title in its correct form –
Gräfin Mone von Bustenhalter-Titzupp-Altschlapper und Töriearzlicher. Nicht wahr?
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We thank you most sincerely, Your Excellency … you have discovered a gross lacuna in my education, which I propose to remedy forthwith!
Excuse us, we are laughing so hard that we are having some difficulty typing.
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I see “we” have started to use “we” as singular first person.
My, how “we” have risen in the world!
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lol
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Well, I see you have it all worked out, Ed!
I hadn’t though about Mr Mundell being superior to His Nobleness in one way, but inferior to him in another. And who bows to whom, one might ask.
Oh the complexities of feudal life.
How would we manage without England to guide us through who should bow to whom?
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On a related note, we are reliably informed that Prince William has left his day job in order to concentrate on being royal. As he left his day job voluntarily, it will be six weeks before he can claim benefits. How will he and his family survive? Could crowdfunding be the answer?
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I’m not entirely sure that he wasn’t asked to leave. After all he used royal duties to excuse himself from some days’ work… and he used his work to excuse himself from tiresome royal duties.
Coz basically he likes to laze about at home (or should I say one of his many homes) with his wife and kids. Odd man.
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An odd man indeed, Tris, is our balding princeling, though not nearly so odd as his dad. Of course, such statements should not, to paraphrase Dorothy Parker, be tossed around lightly, they should be thrown with great force, as otherwise one of our many devoted friends and admirers may turn on us with profound statements such as “takes one to know one”.
As for Our use of the so-called Royal We, in Our case it’s a toss-up whether We’re operating under cover of letters patent that We don’t have, or it’s just me and my evil twin Kevin.
I catch sight of Kevin in the bathroom mirror some mornings, but we don’t talk. Odd, surly-looking fellow, very overweight and grumpy-looking. Spends most of his time on ebay buying things I have no need or even use for.
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tris
I once in my youth went on a lorry trip (him being a driver )with my brother in law
spending around 14 days travelling around france and spain
during customs stops.
The delays were ridiculous we were held up for days awaiting
customs clearance everwhere you went met some drivers who were
basically trapped for days on end.
In spain this is were I learned about ” samples” which were left inside
the sealed container for the customs officials to help themselves and
encourage them not to steal the goods….and as this was marks and spencers
gear it was top quality after the customs officers had helped themselves
they left it unsealed and we piled in with some other drives and carried out
what we could in a few minutes,
They then came back and sealed the continers up a very common occurence
me in law informed me.
One driver we met had been held up for 10 days awaiting clearence he
wasnt happy as he had to spend more days after getting to where he was
going to tip his employers were not happy as they were paying him for
sitting on his erse.
The tory tossers at westminster talk about frictionless trade after brexit
well that is what we have now so why feck it up…it will be a costly nightmare
still we can console ourselves with being able to freely trade with outer mongolia !
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Aye, Niko. I can well believe that. Borders were an absolute nightmare some places.
I can remember the Turkish Bulgarian border (where east met west). It was chaotic. Queues went back for miles.
We were on a weekend trip to Istanbul from Varna in Bulgaria and the coaches made a short cut… we paid £10 for a visa, and we were through. But the lorry drivers were there for days. What a life.
I hope the good people of Dover know what they voted for.
I look forward to being able to buy (in a friction-less fashion) a nice carton of Mongolian goat yogurt.
Pity about the German salami though. I used to like it.
See this independence thing you and I have been arguing about for 8 years, Niko? Could we compromise and Scotland become a part of Iceland?
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I’m sure the Mongolians are all sitting there in their yurts just gagging for a taste of our innovative British jam and biscuits to have with their süütei tsai… If you’re wondering what the hell I’m on about now, süütei tsai is Mongolian for milky tea – so far, so good – hot water, milk and tea leaves – check, check, check – but then they go and add salt as well.
I knew about this vaguely from somewhere, probably the same place I found out about Tibetan yak butter tea, but have now fact-checked it using the internet machine. Yak butter? Yuck.
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Well, I’ve never liked the taste of tea, but I think we can guarantee that now I’ll never touch the stuff again.
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Being rather prone to random thoughts myself, this article was great, though I can’t be doing with all that precedence stuff. Total nonsense as far as I’m concerned. Do not intend to curtsey to anyone as I do not see them as my betters socially. I recognise some people are intellectually superior or kinder, but they don’t require such sycophancy.
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I’m at one with you on that.
The only way that royalty and aristocracy can be tolerated is if one believes that these people are “better” than other people. Otherwise why would they get whatever they want delivered by ministers and prime ministers on silver trays when ordinary people struggle to get by?
I too am humbled by greater intellects, by people who are stronger, or better looking, or more talented, but I don’t feel inferior to them. Just different. No more than I feel superior to folk with less intellect, or less talent, etc.
I was once invited (as part of work) to go to a garden party at Holyrood House in the presence of Charlie.
I was prepared to go as part of my job until I got a list of “commands” from the palace about dress, manner, deportment, etc… and how to behave if I was privileged to meet his royal highness…
Aye right, I though, and passed the invitation to a colleague.
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I was visiting someone in hospital tonight where the obligatory ward TV was blaring with no one watching and I caught the tail end of a piece about the chook of edinbry retiring. I don’t know if I’d been accidentally transported to an alternative universe or something but it seemed to be saying what a great guy he was, what with his great works etc.. that he would be missed etc.
Can anybody tell me exactly what he’s retiring from? He may have been a splendid fellow and all that but he was very well fcuking paid for it. He also had unlimited opportunities for foreign travel and to indulge in any toff pursuits he fancied. These of course normally involved blowing animals heads off or driving horses and carts around fields. All this, while drinking only the finest bevvy and eating the richest foods, supported by some pretty top notch healthcare. You don’t retire from that. Your not boring the arse off your workmates for ages before it saying stuff like “Well guys just another 300 sleeps to go and I’m outa this shithole.”
Ok I’ll admit he was sometimes good for a laugh because he was an ignorant obnoxious git but he was just as often not funny for precisely the same reason.
Sycophantic, forelock tugging bullshit, all paid for by guess who?
Free pair of donkeys ears with every British passport, get em here. Hee Haw, Hee Haw!
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Greig, The Yeomen of the Guard are on their way to your hovel. You shall be dragged before the Most Highest Supremest Lord Justiciary Master of the Scrolls and condemned to be held in the Tower until a suitable date on which the State Tumbril shall convey your churlish person to the courtyard of Buckingham Palace. There, whilst restrained by two stalwart footmen, you will be handbagged by an equerry to Her Majesty, Brenda II. Afterwards you will be paraded the length of the Mall as an example and a deterrent to any others who might even momentarily contemplate uttering critical comments against Royal personages. God Save the Queen and her Duke Consort and all who are their hangers-on!
Sir Rupert Fitz-Titely, Baron Tailwyper of Underwhelm & Keeper of the Truss, KG, KT, KP (Salted).
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What’d you mean hovel, I just hoovered the place.
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Oh dear
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Yes, weird isn’t it?
Pile of grovelling by the junk press too.
Thank you Sir!!!!!
Oh dear.
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Yeah, unfortunately for us plebs, it’s the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha’s who are laughing at us. We are the mugs who maintain their lavish lifestyle, whether we like it nor not. That matter is decided for us by successive Westminster Government’s who ply this bunch of uncaring, intellectually deprived morons with as much cash as they want, while more and more real people are forced into poverty by an equally uncaring Tory administration.
Why? Easy. The Royals are top of the Establishment tree, and without them in place, the whole edifice would come crashing down, and the sycophants below them would be exposed as gravy-train hangers-on, including my pet hate, so-called champagne Socialists, former Labour politicians who have accepted titles, and the cash that goes with it, so they can join in with the Tories in keeping their former constituents in their place, that is on the poverty line.
My contempt for all of those who abuse their positions to deliberately hurt their fellow human beings knows no bounds, and why we put up with this is beyond my ken. To think we could, probably not completely, been rid of all these useless flunkeys in 2014, and didn’t take the chance saddens me that so many amongst us are still willing to bend the knee to these useless functionary’s.
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Yes Alex, a golden opportunity squandered in 2014. If we do get another chance we have to get away from them this time or they’ll make it impossible for us to do it at the ballot box for ever after.
I fear though that there are many here who would still like to hang on to the Queen but we can cross that bridge after independence.
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Indeed that’s probably the least important thing.
In any case, we wouldn’t have to pay for all the tra la las if we were independent.
Australia and Canada get away with that.
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Wish we were rid of them. Although I’d accept a slimmed down lot like the Swedes or Danes. Just not all this nonsense.
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