RANDOM THOUGHTS

 

!!!
As ye sew, so shall ye reap.
aa
But, but, but…
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Shona must resign… oh, wait…
abenefits
Never mind, we showed them foreigners a fink or two, guv.
ACG
One of the greatest minds of today. I bet the BBC stop using him.
adam tompkins
Aye, Adam. Let’s get David Davis, Liam Fox, Tessy May and Boris Johnson up to give them some lesson… or maybe not?
aliz
Yep, it was all about hard work. if she’d been a lazy tosser she’d have ended up down the brew working for her ESA in B & M Bargains. Or maybe not…
alan
As usual, Alan’s bang on the nail.
alt jesus
Sounds like a plan!
armada
Who’s got the biggest…? Jings, are you 12 or something?
awar3
Qué, indeed. That fellow took the words out of my mouth!
awar
Yes. People like this actually exist.
brex EDL Britian first
Not entirely sure, though, that this isn’t an artist’s impression!
Boris
Don’t tell me Liz passed on, the monarchy was abolished they we elected that eejit?

 

Dear Daily Mail (et al)

Letter from Munguin

aimm

You see, this is how it works.

You write things. People read them. Some of them understand, or misunderstand, them.

Most intelligent people don’t actually believe anything you write. We know it’s all about headlines that grab attention and make you money. As Stuart Campbell, a proper journalist, has said on many occasions, people rarely get beyond the first few paragraphs of any story. So, it is easy to keep yourself legal by rubbishing your headline in paragraph 12, continued on page 17.

Indeed, these days, most people only see the headline as they pass them in the supermarket, so there is absolutely no danger of them seeing the truth on page 17.

But there are people who believe the crap in your headlines. The crap you have written.

These headlines have been telling people for years that all that ails the UK can be summed up in one word. “Foreigners”. ‘Coming over here taking our jobs, taking our women or men, taking our houses, our school places, our social security, our hospital beds, being criminals and rapists, etc.

You’ve preached a message of HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE…

aimm2

And now, after a particularly vicious campaign against anyone or thing foreign, in order to achieve the catastrophe that is Brexit, you feign horror that British people, quite possibly influenced by your vile lying headlines, have attacked a 17-year-old asylum seeker, leaving him for dead, while other British people stood by and watched and did nothing. And why would they? They’ve been reading your headlines for years. They probably believe that this lad is the source of all their woes. Probably a criminal, a rapist and that he’s depriving decent English people of their health service.

And you, Daily Mail, have the audacity to make of it a front page headline with the judgement “SAVAGES”, so you can sell more papers.

Of course, we realise that you have never actually in so many words encouraged people to beat up foreigners. Goodness, no. You’re a bit more subtle than that.

But what you have taught some of the hard of thinking is to HATE foreigners. To BLAME foreigners. And while you have been blaming them, and not the policies of the great Brtish Government for all that ails this country (undoubtedly the real problem), you have encouraged attitudes which have filtered down to the thugs and resulted in this atrocity, and many others.

Once you infect some people’s heads with an impression, however idiotic and ridiculous, it is almost impossible to get rid of it. Ask the family of the Polish man who was killed for being Polish and still being here after Brexit. As the family of Jo Cox, who was killed because she supported the EU. To attempt to infect people’s minds with lies on a daily basis is irresponsible and frankly criminal.

So well done, Daily Mail and your friends at the Daily Express, the Star and the Sun.

To be honest, though, I imagine that most of your readers are more interested in who Charlie’s been bonking (it’s his good looks that do it, obviously). Remember the old adage, ‘when the mistress becomes the wife she leaves a vacancy’. And there’s nothing like a royal story to fill an empty mind.

You’re a shameful blot on a noble profession.

Regards

Munguin

WELL, THAT DIDN’T TAKE LONG

awar

So, here we are, four days into Brexit and we are already threatening war with a fellow EU member.

This morning the Tories, for some weird reason, wheeled out Michael Howard, who, as you might have guessed, is one of these noblemen the Tories keep locked away for just such purposes. You probably remember him best as Michael ‘Prison Works’ Howard, Michael ‘Are you thinking what we’re thinking’ Howard, or even Michael ‘Something of the Night’ Howard, but we must refer to him by his proper name The Noble Baron Howard of Lympne, CH, PC, QC. It’s only respectful. And we are nothing if not respectful.

abre2

Right, so the Tories dug him out from whatever dungeon they have been keeping him in, to remind us that a precious female prime minister, when a Great British territory was threatened, hastened to dispatch a mighty Task Force and, like Britannia herself, became the greatest military leader of all time.

Old Howard was, he said, sure that the current lady prime minister would not hesitate to do the same. Although she might have to ask President Hollande for a boat.

awar1.jpg

Now old Howard, for all he reminds even his colleagues of Dracula, used to be someone. Indeed, after Wee Willie Hague and then his grandad, Iain Duncan Smith, he was the third disastrous leader of the Tory Party to sit opposite Tony Blair on the opposition benches. So, I suspect that he was sent out to fly a kite that they should use military might to deal with Spain if they don’t get their way.

awar

If it goes down in a frenzy of red white and blue waving fascist nutters, then it may become policy. If not then the Tories can say that it was just some batshit mad old aristocratic senior citizen having had too much Port for breakfast.

One of the reasons that the EU was set up was to try to foster peace in a continent which had been constantly at war throughout a thousand years and more. Four days into Brexit and the Brits are sabre rattling. (Probably all they have to rattle.)

awar2

It may, too, have escaped Mr Howard’s notice that Spain is a NATO member and that NATO is a “one for all and all for one!” organisation. In short, if you attack one member, you attack all members. Oh well…

Fortunately not all talk today has been of war.

aIcelandic_Passport_Front_Cover

Brexiteers are making plans for the future. The Great British Passport all in blue will be making a return according to the Sunday Diana. (So usual caveats apply.)

awar2

And some fossil from the Telegraph wants Imperial Measures brought back.

12 d = 1/-; 20/- = £1; 12”- 1′; 3′ = 1 yard; 1760 yds = 1 mile… and don’t get me started on tons, hundredweights and quarters, chains, poles and gills!

aafar

I look forward to farthings’ return. A wren on the back, and, who knows, a portrait of Queen Victoria on the front.

Very Jolly.