IT’S ALMOST LIKE SHE WAS McTESSY MacMAY, HOOTS!

The UK prime minister is visiting Scotland today, and apparently, Ruth Davidson has announced that she is more in touch with Scots than Nicola is.

“My message to the people of Scotland today is clear: if you vote for me it will strengthen my hand in the Brexit negotiations. It will strengthen the Union, strengthen the economy and together the UK and Scotland will ­flourish. Because when Scotland is 
flourishing, the rest of the United Kingdom is flourishing too.”

According to The Scotsman, this is what Mrs May is expected to say.

So I assume, as she is so in touch and at one with ordinary Scots, she will be addressing mass rallies of us Jocks in shopping malls and factories and taking questions from ordinary, non-selected members of the public, unlike in England where she has been speaking in factories, after 6 o’clock when everyone but a select few has gone home. Right?

Well, maybe she will, and maybe she won’t

We just don’t know.

I’ve tried to find out where she will be campaigning so that I could go along and ask her a few questions about things that concern me… you know, food banks, rape clauses, retirement pensions, the fearsome amount of money that is being wasted on one of the royal families’ five London palaces, the eye-watering amount we can afford to spend on Westminster renovations, the scandal of the NHS underfunding, how she explains the £350 million a week figure, why she did a reverse ferret on how dangerous Brexit would be, why she invited the orange faced moron on a state visit in his first year, why she got positively incandescent when she thought that the word Easter had been left out of an Egg challenge designed to make money for Cadbury in the same week that she played nice with a barbaric regime that executes people for being Christians, but buys a lot of British weapons with which they can kill children….etc, etc.

Just little points that I’m sure she has answers to. Becasue, you see, if she understands us Scots so well, she will understand that we need answers to these questions.

Incidentally, looking at the Tory faces in our parliament as member after member across the political divide pointed out how utterly inhuman the Tory Rape Clause is, how people shaking with emotion castigated the heartless unfeeling lying Tory benches, I wonder if the polls may have got it wrong again.