A Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman walked into a bar. They all had to leave because the Englishman wanted to.







Q: Why does Britain like tea?

A: Because, tea leaves!


Q: What did Britain say to its trading partners?

A: See EU later.




So, Anas says that the SNP hates the Labour Party and thinks that its (Labour’s) destruction is the way to gain independence.

Odd really because the best way to gain independence and have a socially just Scotland, would be for Labour and the SNP to work together to counter at least some of the horrific effects of Tory rule in the UK, and the rise of the Tories in Scotland. So I think “hate” is a bit strong. The SNP is certainly mystified about a party which is supposed to represent the poorer people in society, but which sides so often with the Tories on matters that affect the poor. But hatred? I don’t think so.

But, bless him, he says that their solution is to unite the Labour Party.

Good luck with that, Anas. I suppose we could really just stop there. After all, as parties go, Labour, “across the United Kingdom”, is about as far as you can get from being united.

In the UK parliament they don’t have time to be in opposition to the Tories. They are far too busy being in opposition to themselves.

Their members want Corbyn by a massive record breaking majority; 75% of their MPs don’t. When the membership voted decisively for Corbyn, after years of Tory-lite leadership from Blair, Brown (and Mandelson) and then Miliband, the MPs insisted on another leadership battle. Knowing what the odds were, no one remotely serious stood (Angela Eagle or Owen Smith as prime minister???? Oh please!), and Corbyn was re-elected with an increased majority.

But instead of listening to the votes of members and supporters, the PLP decided that they knew better and embarked on a policy of undermining the leader, and to hell with being the opposition. That inspires no confidence at all in a  party of potential government.

A civil war is going on inside the party, and if the Fabian Society is to be believed, they can look forward to a crushing defeat in 2020, and we can look forward to yet another 5 year period of Tory rule, despite the pitiful quality of leadership.

I can’t see any way around that problem, but then I’m not Anas Sarwar!

In Scotland Labour has reached what must be close to “core vote”: a presumably ageing and diminishing group who have voted Labour all their lives, through Labour’s socialist days and their Tory-lite days, and are too old to change. Hard to believe these people were in government 10 years ago. The leader and deputy leader disagree about the way forward and Dugdale has just handed Riley a job at which he can only fail dismally: Campaign Manager for the 2017 elections.

Again, I see no way through this, but I’m not possessed of Anas’s intellect.

In the meantime, the UK is facing the biggest challenge in it history since the second world war, and it is in the hands of Theresa, Boris, David, and Foxy. And her majesty’s loyal opposition is too busy tearing chunks out of itself to bother much about the mess they have made so far.


Scotland voted firmly against leaving the EU. Nicola Sturgeon has put forward reasonable membership proposals to keep the country in the single market, enjoying some of the benefits of EU. She’s one of very few leaders in the UK to come up with ideas (along with the Deputy First Minister of NI, and the First Minister of Gibraltar).

Kezia Dugdale’s response has been to say that Nicola HAS to rule out any possibility of a seocnd referendum on independence, which of course, she knows will never happen.

Anas is probably the next leader in Scotland. He has to be positioning himself for a take over in the summer, so we should get used to that. It’s a pity that they won’t pick someone a little more open to listening to what Labour supporters seem to want.




No, girls don’t. Nor do women, lads or men. Sometimes you ask them to dinner and they say no, and sometimes you ask them to the movies and they say no. Sometimes you ask them if they’d like to go for a drink, or to the match, or for a run … and they say no. Sometimes you ask them if they would like to marry you and they say no. And on all these, and many other occasions, you might ask again, and if you care enough or you’re hard necked enough, again. And sometimes, the no becomes a yes.

If you think that his tweet had to do with sex, then you have to have a word with yourself. People ask people all sorts of things and surprisingly, many of them have absolutely nothing to do with sex.

“Can I have a pay rise, Munguin?” “No.” (I’ll try again next month!), “Do you want to go shopping, Mum?” ” No, but check again on Saturday.”, “Do you want to buy me a pint, Petula?” “No. I have better things to do, but maybe someday.”

OK. If he had stopped and thought about what he’d typed before he’s sent it, then maybe he wouldn’t have sent it. And as an MSP, he SHOULD have stopped and thought about it before he sent it.

We have made great strides to teach that No means No through education/campaigns over years. How on earth did John Mason miss that memo?!

Of course, I take Kezia’s point there. Mason was stupid to Tweet that line without thinking of the implications, of how it could be read, but I suspect that that is more likely to have been naivety rather than wickedness on his part. Reasonably, you might say we don’t pay him to be naive, but then you’d have to look very hard at all his colleagues, Holyrood, London and Brussels.

Fair to say here that I’m no fan of Mason. Actually, far from it. His religious belief seems to dictate his voting in parliament and that, in my opinion, is plain wrong unless he very specifically told the party, and his constituents, that they both played second fiddle to his church and I don’t think he did.


Needless to say, no such fuss about Jill Stephenson’s boyfriend, Brian Spanner’s tweet about old people needing coffins, in response to the life-saving baby boxes. Incidentally, they were pioneered in Finland, and later in England, and given to Kate Middleton when her son was born, but apparently they’re evil things when introduced by the SNP to save Scottish babies’ lives. Based on the assumptions that they make regarding Mason’s tweet you might think that they didn’t want Scottish babies to have a better chance of survival. But we all know that’s not what they are saying.

And, even though Spanner is a repugnant foul-mouth misogynist I can see the funny side of it.