MINISTER FOR CHICKENS MUST RESIGN

0

0

OK, so when I saw the Scottish paper in the supermarket, I thought it was quite bad, and I was waiting for someone from the Labour Party to demand the Nicola Sturgeon take very severe action on whichever minister it is that is responsible for chickens.

But then I got home and found that in the UK the situation is even worse. Whereas in Scotland you have a 50% chance of dying from chickenitis, in England it’s a 66% chance, indeed in England it seems that the percentage of contaminated birds is 78.

How lucky we are in Scotland. Can someone find the chicken minister and give him or her a hearty pat on the back…

Seriously, this comic gets dafter in its competition with the Daily Diana.

Advertisements

16 thoughts on “MINISTER FOR CHICKENS MUST RESIGN”

      1. But seriously, its a none story. Most poultry, farm animals and wild animals carry E-coli. It is in the preparation of the carcasses, after slaughter, that gets did of it; as in being careful not to contaminate the meat with the animals own faeces.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Apparently it’s because we cut costs; they are packed into tiny spaces and over fed to make them fat.

        Then they say it is the high end supermarkets where it happens most. But I try always to buy farm raised, organic, and I’d have thought that the force feeding and packing them together wouldn’t affect outdoor hens.

        Still, if, as you say, it’s all to do with the abattoirs, I imagine that they have cut the staff too much and skip some of the requisite checks.

        Fear not though…as long as you cook the meat well enough, you should be safe.

        So, as you say a non-story.

        Like

  1. I believe in the old days, stories were presented and an editorial decision was taken based upon what it was believed the papers audience would want to read. This meant that for example the Daily Record, would mostly report stories of pensioners being murdered and the Scotsman which was a broadsheet back then did a lot of juicy embezzlement crimes.

    It kind of looks now like if they’re short of anti SNP propaganda they just pick stuff out of a hat and trust to luck. Sorry, make it up then pick it out a hat and trust to luck.

    Or has it been forever thus? Or something.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dunno Dave. When I started reading newspapers seriously, I bought the Herald and the Telegraph. It was the late 80s I guess and I really liked the crosswords in both the papers. Hard enough to be a challenge, easy enough to actually do.

      I thought at that time that the reporting was fair and balanced. The opinion columns were something else.

      I know what happened to the Telegraph was that the mad twins bought it from Mr Black. I’m not sure what happened to the Herald.

      Not sure I’ve ever bought a Record or a Scotsman.

      But the quality of the press has become disgraceful. The Telegraph is now a tabloid. I’m waiting for a page 3 girl to appear. Or for Bingo to be available.

      As for the Express and the Star, well, they seem to be doing a parody of themselves.

      I expect one day for the SNP to be blamed for climate change, volcanic activity in Italy and deaths of elderly members of the royal family.

      I wonder if they’ve seen Elvis on the moon recently, or if Diana has appeared to them in a dream …

      Like

      1. You missed the sacking of Carthage Tris.
        I agree it was probably more fair and balanced. Everything seemed a bit more like that. I was actually harking back to a bit of work I did mid 80s as part of an OU course where we got different papers and split them into Tabloid or ‘Quality’ and then measured the amount of, and type of crime in column inches reported in each. A laborious task it was but it showed that around 45% of the crime reported in the tabloids was violent crime which made up at that time only about 1% of the crime statistics. The so called quality papers had an emphasis on white collar crime to a similar degree. The main conclusion was that here was a degree of hard evidence that papers catered broadly to a target audience.

        The OU in the eighties was very left wing and was keen to point out to students like me how manipulative the press was. It was all eagerly lapped up by a twenty something me who’d let’s just say, not applied himself at school.

        The main thing I think we didn’t have back then was the blatant slavering, unfettered rabidity we see so much of in the press these days. This for me is the most scarey bit. We have a properly elected SNP Government, voted for by the Scottish people but it feels like the act of doing what they were elected to do by us is under siege from these influential and essentially anti-democratic organisations.

        They’ve always stuck it to us, they’re just sticking it to us a lot harder now.

        I don’t know about Elvis on the moon though because there’s no atmosphere. He’d have to be dead for that wouldn’t he?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. LOL. Cheeky sod!

        Yep. I take your point. I remember doing something like that in English, at school. It wasn’t just crime, but it was column inches dedicated to various topics including the sacking of Carthage!!.

        Really interesting exercise it was too, even if they were all in Latin at that time.

        It’s fair enough that different papers are aimed at different audiences. Clearly the average Star readers wold find the Independent a bit hard going, not to mention dry. And the average Daily Mail reader would have a canary at the lefty liberal stuff (?) in the Guardian. The average Daily Express reader probably has to have it read to him/her.

        But seems to me that since the 80s the newspapers have been dumbed down a good deal. Presumably the mass market for drivel, and the advertising return therefrom is just too tempting.

        Most of our newspapers are owned outwith Scotland and a good many outwith the UK.

        The people who peddle this drivel don’t live here, don’t know, and don’t care. They simply and slavishly follow the demands of their owners to HATE.

        Do you seriously think that the average Express reader knows that there is no atmosphere on the moon..? Poleeeeze.

        Like

      3. I’ve an idea. Perhaps in the interest of public health, they should be sold from behind a shuttered area of shops. You don’t get to see the corrosive headlines then, but if you are addicted you can ask for one.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s