Just in case you thought there was anything important going on in the world, let me put your mind at rest.

There is no American election in the offing, and Mrs May’s new boss isn’t going to be decided within weeks.

There is no war in Syria, nor is there one in Yemen, not one that Brits have any part in or should worry about in any case, clearly.

And Britain isn’t facing a crisis in Europe. No sir, it’s all plain sailing, as you’d imagine with Messers Johnson, Davis, Fox and Werrity at the helm of the royal yacht. What do people like Terry Entoure know anyway?

Anyway, no, it’s none of that. So important is the crisis facing Britain, that neither Diana nor even a scantily clad lass is anywhere to be seen on the front page of the Sunday Express. Imagine!

The utter horror facing our country, Munguinites, is that Charlie Rothsay and Airmiles Andy have fallen out about the two bloody, sorry, Blood Princesses.

It seems that, for once, Charles and I agree. He wants to  rationalise the royal family,slim it down, presumably to deflect criticism that there are vast numbers of them living at our expense and doing next to nothing for their very expensive  corn.


Don’t ask me which is which. I don’t know and I don’t care

Andrew, au contraire, thinks that as his children are proper royals, not “married into” jumped up commoners,  like, for example, his wife, Fergie, Camilla Parker Bowles and Kate Middleton. They are entitled to be call “Royal Highness” without having to get married to one. Moreover,  when unaccompanied by their husbands, Parker Bowles and Middleton are outranked by them. This involves endless curtseying and deference to Beatrice and Eugenie, which will magically melt away if Charles or Willie walk into the room. (Such are the complexities of being a royal. I mean, could you cope with all that? )


Anyway, I digress. Airmiles wants his daughters to be given decent accommodation. Apparently St James’s Palace is small, pokey and not in the least suitable for people of their quality. He wants them moved to Kensington Palace, and he wants them to go on the royal payroll. (Jeez, I wish I had a dad that would do that for me. I always had to get my own houses and jobs!)

As I said Charlie appears to think that they need to slim down the royals and that employing two princesses who normally only ever turn up at family dos when there is sport or fashion to be enjoyed: Henley, Ascot, Wimbledon is probably not the ticket to boost his popularity, which is already way behind that of the Queen..

One of the sisters is about to settle down and get married (and, presumably, cost us even more than present bringing up little Viscounts or Viscountess or Earls or whatever they are). The other seems to spend most of her life on luxury holidays and has just split up with her boyfriend of ten years.



I reckon Charlie has got it bang to rights here. Clearly, I wish we could retire the lot of them to Canada or New Zealand or wherever, and install a president in Holyrood House, but I recognise that the queen remains popular and that that isn’t going to happen anytime soon.


So let’s trim them back like other royal families in Europe. Just the monarch and their partner and the next in line and theirs.

After that they should go out, get jobs and provide their own houses.

Let’s hope Charles prevails in this.


  1. Tris

    No let’s have a referendum on becoming a Republic after we are independent and get rid of this shit forever. I despise everything they stand for or have ever stood for. They are disgraceful reminder of all that is wrong with this shitty pompous full of shit UK.


    Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh absolutely, Bruce. I don’t wish any of them harm, although I think Fatso could do with a hard clip round the ear. Selfish self centred spoilt brat. They are all over privileged, but he could do no wrong in his mother’s eyes and how spoilt does THAT make you. So a good slap, but not actual harm.

          No, if England or Canada or Papua New Guinea want them, fair enough, let them have them. If not they can get jobs and work for a living. King Zog of Albania ended up working for Gaz de France. I’m sure Harry could get a job with Scottish Gas.

          What irritates me is the notion that these people think themselves better/different from people… St James’s palace is small and cramped? What? Try living in a Bett’s Box, or a typical council house (and remember that St James’s is a council house).

          The damned cheek.


  2. Oh, I’m not sure…..I think I’ll vote for the one in blue…first picture….’cos she has bigger tits (I think).
    What do you mean, it’s not a contest???


  3. Hi Tris – greetings from Canada once again. I’m sitting here about 3.00am UK time; 8.00pm in Canada having a ‘wee nippy sweety’, (Glen Garioch), listening to Bon Iver (great album) and ruminating. How in hells name do we still have ‘royals’? I mean, what are they for, what’s the point? Why do so many people still think they have a purpose? Like you I wish them no personal harm but c’mon, jeez. In a couple of years I’ll be making the permanent journey home to Scotland and my wishes are as follows – independence, (of course), hopefully still within Europe; a general drift in Scottish politics towards a more caring and compassionate society where everyone regardless of gender, race or orientation has an equal shout – i.e. left wing politics without the accompanying Judean People’s Front bollocks; a media that genuinely reflects this new reality, and then a Republic. Is it all too much to ask? Anyway, as always; more power to yer elbow, Tris; and orra best to the wee hairy penguin. PS – if you’ve never heard any Bon Iver go onto You Tube and wrap your lugs round Holocene.


    1. I hope you enjoyed the music and the libation, Gary. 🙂

      Your wishes are the same as mine and Munguin’s. Couldn’t have put it better myself, so I won;t try.

      The little one sends his best wishes to you and to Canada.


  4. What makes you think my pals across the ditch in NZ want a bunch of spoilt brats?
    Just put them on the royal yacht and push it out to sea. They can then sink or swim on their own merits.


    1. Well, I guess you’re right there. Why would NZ want to be burdened with the expense of this family? Or anywhere else for that matter.

      I honestly don;t wish them harm, but 21st century Scotland has surely moved on from all this rank stuff that Andrew has re-highlighted.


  5. And where’s Cinderella in that picture?

    They are merely the figureheads of a system that should have ended in November 1918. Germany, Austria and Russia had the right idea. They have harnessed the celebrity machinery to keep themselves in a position which is past its sell by date. But we have to accept that people buy into the cult. Perhaps Chic will be sufficiently cack handed that the wool will be pulled from people’s eyes, but hey, the public buy into that guff. Never mind, look, there’s a picture of adorable scamp George. Isn’t he cute?


    1. Absolutely.

      Philip very carefully made them into media stars when the world started to ditch “respect for our betters”.

      Now they are on the same level as Jordan or the Kardashians. All sorts of excuses are made for keeping them in splendour while, according to the Daily Mirror, 46 people per day in England are admitted to hospital for malnutrition, Trussel Trust (every town should have one) alone feed over a million people a year, and churches and other charities are feeding more.

      I wonder if the tourists who come to gawp at their palaces aren’t a bit put off falling over the beggars.


  6. What I admire most about the palace parasites is the number of medals they’ve won. When you see them on the balcony waving at their plebeian subjects they always appear top-heavy. To be fair to Charles you have to admire his bravery when you look at Camilla.


    1. The medals, at least most of them are civic awards “I survived my mums Silver Jubilee, so she gave me a medal”type. Airmiles did earn his Falklands one though, and I suppose the Hewitt boy earned one of his too.


      1. Hi, Conan, well I hope? What is scandalous is that whilst they are parading their mock-medal real heroes not far away are sleeping in cardboard boxes.


    2. Eddy’s the one I particularly look out for when he’s in uniform.

      To be fair, at least Airmiles actually served in action. Eddy had a bash at a few of the exercises and then gave up.

      I don’t mean to have a go at him. He was forced into it by his unloving father. He wasn’t suited to it, but it’s what royal boys are supposed to do. But it’s something he should have the good sense to steer clear of. Unfortunately, these people seem to have little of that. probably that’s what happens when your mum and dad are cousins.


      1. I’m quite concerned about inequality in the royal family. ;-)) I understand that Her Majesty The Queen has a total of eight grandchildren. Andrew’s two daughters are Princesses and Royal Highnesses by virtue of being grandchildren of the Monarch through a male line.

        On the other hand, Ann, the Pincess Royal’s two children, Peter and Zara, are neither prince nor princess because they are not the Queen’s grandchildren through a male line. AND neither are they Royal Highnesses. They are untitled because their daddy turned down an elevation to the peerage (an earldom) on his marriage to Ann. So they are are……wait for it…….COMMONERS……..YES!!!!! The first untitled grandchildren of a British Sovereign in over five centuries. (Zara IS quite openly a self-described equestrian, but I don’t think that should be held against her in this day and age.) Although they are commoners, they are nevertheless still in the line of succession to the throne (as I understand it.)

        That brings us to Edward’s children. By getting on the wrong side of his daddy, Edward really screwed up his family. First of all, he was not created a Duke. Edward is only an Earl. But nevertheless, he will one day succeed to his father’s title of Duke of Edinburgh. That seems weird. But it was also announced that with the couple’s consent, the Queen had decided that their children would be styled as the children of an Earl rather than with the royal titles that they would be eligible for under the 1917 letters patent. (Quoting Wiki here.)
        So their children are simply Lady Louise Windsor and James, Viscount Severn.
        They SHOULD be a Prince and Princess by virtue of being grandchildren of the Sovereign in a male line, but they are in fact not even Royal Highnesses.

        I understand that some royal watchers have some “CONSTITUTIONAL” doubts about the styles and titles of Edward’s children, but that’s the way it is because the Queen has said so. And as any American knows, it’s stupid to attach the word “constitution” to anything British, because the Brits don’t have one, however much they want to pretend they do, while they just make it up as they go along.

        So it seems that Andrew’s children have already received better treatment than the children of Ann and Edward, and Andrew now seems to want them to start being paid for their royal styles and titles and given decent living accommodations befitting “blood princesses.”

        And BTW, what do you suppose actually caused the Queen to make such a face in public? She looked SERIOUSLY not amused……LOL.


        1. Therein, Danny, you sum up what is wrong with Britain. Well, one of the three billion things anyway.

          They make it up as they go along. The trouble is they don’t just make up stuff about this 18th century tourist attraction that is the queen and the scrounging family; they do it with other things too.

          Frankly they can all go around calling themselves and each other whatever the hell they want.

          They have some value as entertainment along with Britain’s Got Talent and Strictly Come Dancing. I wonder Simon Cowell hasn’t signed them up. Apart from that they are a waste of money.

          Andrew is a particularly revolting character.

          The queen is well known for having a face like a broken biscuit. She seems to spend a good deal of her time being not amused. I really don’t think she likes the job.


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