DON’T WORRY, FOLKS, THEY HAVE BREXIT FIXED: OR WHAT KATIE DID NEXT WITH HER YACHT

aaaAccording to various reports, the nutcases who have taken over the asylum, to use a very politically incorrect phrase from my granny’s era (ie Westminster), are still sure that the way to fix Brexit is for there to be a royal yacht… and for Kate Middleton to be its captain.

Well, maybe not quite its captain, but certainly the most important person on its decks.

Phew, and for a moment I thought we were sunk, if you’ll pardon the nautical pun.

But seriously there are those in the Tory party who think that as well as having a name and shame list of people who employ foreigners (that they now say they aren’t going to show anyone…so  who’s it going to shame?) and a sacking rota in NHS England for any doctor not born in England (as soon as they can find a homegrown replacement), we should have a royal yacht built to take our betters around the world promoting Britain and British values… (y’know, greed, xenophobia and class rigidity, etc).

“I think we have to ask ourselves what sort of Britain we want to live in and what we can do … to make Britain great again,” said Jake Berry as he put forward a motion in parliament on Tuesday calling for the reintroduction of the Royal Yacht Britannia.

aaa
Jake Berry

Well, I agree to an extent with the first part of what he said. At this period of great change we certainly need to consider what kind of country we want to live in.  Do we want one where well over a million people depend on food banks? Are we happy with the number of children living in poverty? Are we proud of the fact that we have one of the lowest pension rates for old people in comparison to the average income? Are we satisfied that the Nation Living Wage doesn’t pay enough for people to live on? Do we feel happy spending more than two hundred billion pounds on a weapon we won’t use without express permission from another state? Do we want to do up Buckingham palace while people are living in cardboard boxes? Are we happy with a £9 billion bill for tarting up the Houses of Lords and Commons? Is a railway from London to Birmingham at a cost of probably £100 billion what we need more than anything else?
There are many other questions that spring to my mind. Funnily, should we have another royal yacht isn’t one of them. Maybe it’s just me, but… Oh well.

aaaaThe second part of this great plan appears to be all about Kate. Lazy Willie’s lazy wife.

Not Willie himself, strangely, given that he’s royal and she’s not.

It seems that the people who brought you Brexit think that along with the royal yacht, the best thing to impress those foreigners that they dislike so profoundly but unfortunately need to impress, is Kate Middleton.

Never mind the fat lazy businessmen that prefer to play golf than go out and get orders. Let them spend their days and nights on the golf course and in the bar afterwards. leave it all to Kate.

And Brits wonder people laugh at them.

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32 thoughts on “DON’T WORRY, FOLKS, THEY HAVE BREXIT FIXED: OR WHAT KATIE DID NEXT WITH HER YACHT”

      1. We all live on Planet Brexit now. Liam Fox thinks we should sever all links with the Milky Way and explore opportunities in other solar systems. Those martians, coming over here, breathing our air with their adaptable gills, annoying us with their telekinetic thought. They don’t even think telekinetically in English! Enough! We need to do deals with the Andromedans, renowned for their fair and open trade. And they like jam.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. LOL.

          Good one, Terry.

          At least we’ve got jam… or do I mean we are IN a jam…

          Maybe we can build a royal star ship Britannia, and Kate can pop off on a 10,000 yeah journey to sell our jam to the Andromedans.

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  1. I think I have found the solution to all this Katey matey sing-a-long nonsense Tris.

    Why don’t we stash her uselessness on board the afore mentioned Britannia boat thingy. We can then send it out to sea with an escort of a couple of UK nuclear subs. Why an escort of nuclear subs I hear dear Munguin ask? And well he might but fear not because I have the answer.

    As anyone knows from newspaper reports over the previous few years UK nuclear subs do seem to have a desire to run into things. Therefore send out a couple of nuclear subs they are bound to crash into not only each other but more importantly the Britannia boaty thingy … hopefully sinking all three!

    If things can be properly arranged then we lose two nuclear subs the Britannia boaty thingy and most importantly Katey matey!

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/defence/4640673/British-and-French-nuclear-submarine-collision-as-serious-as-sinking-of-Kursk.html

    https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2012/apr/23/navy-submarine-aground-errors-inquiry

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The Queen was very sad when the royal yacht Britannia was scrapped by Blair.

    It makes sense to restore it, good for British businesses and it’ll make the Queen smile again.

    I don’t see the harm.

    That said, I’m not defending Kate Middleclass.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think in times of ideological austerity, the queen can remain sad, and her auld boat can remain mothballed.
      You Tories really have your priorities right, eh?

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        1. Well, it would be helpful if we didn’t promote them by telling everyone that their owners are fat, lazy and addicted to golf! I’m sure that businessmen these days will ahve more important things to do that waste time on boats. Fly there, make a good deal, offer quality, sign contract and then leave.

          Has anyone taken into consideration that the building (and fitting out ion regal splendour) of a new yacht would take many years. And we have about 2.5. Then no trades deals, no nothing!

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      1. Maybe staying in the fekin EU was good for business, but your self serving party thought otherwise, you and the rest of your idiotic, empire missing, narrow minded British fools can gtf, and take your boat with you; you can stick Ruth tankette Commander on the prow, viking style.

        A force wakens? A farce awakens, is more like it.

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    2. What good did it do, exactly, when it was, last functioning as a reminder of divide that exists between the haves and have nots that exist solely to highlight the shame and embarrassment of this country?

      And as for making the old parasite smile again, well, of course, let’s get our priorities right. Forgive my facetiousness.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Not really sure it ever did anything. But I guess it would be hard to prove. I just think that we could spend the money better.

        As Terry says, the Germans don’t have a presidential yacht, but their exports outstrip the UK’s. Perhaps making good stuff and selling it instead of playing golf is the answer!!!

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    3. Does anyone have any numbers to show that scrapping the Royal Yacht was bad for business? Genuing question. If there is a business case for bringing back the Royal Yacht then perhaps we shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss it. So far, I’ve not heard any evidence or even any attempt at making a business case for it. It strikes me that the putative Royal Yacht is some kind of patriotic symbol, something that embodies the emotional charge of nationhood. This makes me slightly queasy, to be honest. It bears all the hallmarks of the UK floating along on its magic carpet of assumed specialness, while forgetting about the real problems it needs to solve with high priority. Do the Germans have a Presidential Yacht? They do seem to export an awful lot more than us but maybe that’s because they planned their economy so they had something worthwhile to sell. The Royal Yacht just seems like a distraction, aimed at satisfying a rather unpleasant jingoistic mood that has overtaken the nation lately. There must be cheaper ways to satisfy a resurgent English nationalism.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’ve no idea if there is a way that it can be proved or disproved that the existence of a royal yacht brought business to the country. It probably made some contribution, I suspect not a substantial one. We are told that the royals are a massive tourist attraction but having been at Versailles and Hofburg recently and seen the crowds paying €28 each to look around the place, I’m not overly sure that them being on the throne and expensive makes any difference at all.

        Apparently when, in committee, an SNP MP was making a point about there being better things to do with the £100 million a yacht would cost, she referred to teh yacht as “it”. A Tory MP with the plumiest of voices ever interrupted her to point out that we should accord the royal yacht the respect due to HER and refer to HER at all times as SHE!

        I think that sums up where the sentiment comes from.

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    4. You can take the old one. It’s an eyesore sitting at the dock in Edinburgh. Maybe tow it up the Thames and scuttle it next to the Tower under the opening bridge so it doesn’t open anymore. Great tourist attraction it will bring in more money than the Royals as they all rust to oblivion together. Drool brittania!

      Liked by 1 person

    5. I’m sure that the queen has many things to make her happy. Of course she was sad when it went. She liked touring in it. I don;t blame her. If someone had given me a private yacht and paid for it all these years, and then they had taken it away from me, just becasue it was going to cost a random to repair, I’d have been sad.

      I was sad last week when I read about kids in the north of England so hungry that they were looking for food in the school wastepaper bins.

      Maybe some kind person will give them a yacht.

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    6. Sorry Dean. My reply to you ended up half way down the page!….

      I’m sure that the queen has many things to make her happy. Of course she was sad when it went. She liked touring in it. I don;t blame her. If someone had given me a private yacht and paid for it all these years, and then they had taken it away from me, just because it was going to cost a random to repair, I’d have been sad.

      I was sad last week when I read about kids in the north of England so hungry that they were looking for food in the school wastepaper bins.

      Maybe some kind person will give them a yacht.

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      1. Really! Give them time. They have an economy to mess up (even more) and a pound that’s heading for parity with the Malawian Kwacha ! Rickets doesn’t just happen overnight, you know!

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  3. On the subject of the House of Commons/Lords, it is in fact a Royal Palace that the Monarch simply chooses not to live in – so let Betty Battenberg pay for the renovations and give her some nice wee rooms in it. Removing 59 MPs from part of the UK should make some room.

    If we go all independent, they might want the Royal Yacht back anyway, especially if we go slightly Republic orientated as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. It’s interesting that, as it’s a royal palace the normal rules of the land don’t apply. This may be one of the reasons that, although it’s not a particularly historic building, they won;t have it knowcked down and something more suitable built. A new building would mean they might have comply with the law of the country, and the police could peruse inquiries there without permission. I understand that during the inquiries into the Lords’ corruption, the police were so frustrated by the noble authorities that they gave up and the thieving nobles got away with it.

      They could put up a tower structure in the grounds of Buck House for them so that they could continue to break the law with impunity. heaven knows the Saxe Coburg Gothas already have enough gardens at our expense.

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  4. tris
    Conan gets it wrong again we are indeed in a time warp heading
    Backwards into a facsimile of the 50s … No eu no foreigners
    No Muslims no snp nationalists . Women back in the kitchen
    Britannia (an old rusty one ) sails the seven seas we rattle our sabre like a good un….

    Sir Francis drake is harrying the Spanish and all is right
    With the world Gloriana, Gloriana, Gloriana”

    God how good it is to delusional who cares about the pound
    England has chosen the open sea (and drags Scotland along with it )

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I believe that there is a photograph of Her Majesty the Queen wiping away a tear at the royal yacht’s decommissioning ceremony. The first and only display of royal emotion ever seen in public it was said. It may have simply been that she realized she doesn’t even have her own airplane. Thinking of that big luxurious plane the American President has no doubt. (Or maybe even the one that Donald Trump has with the tastefully gold plated bathroom plumbing fixtures.) ;-))

    Like

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